posted August 14, 2009 04:29 AM         

You are annoyed by thoughtless behaviour and don't feel like doing anything for the social circle who offended you, but one of them seeks your help.

How can they win you over?

posted August 14, 2009 08:14 AM         

I would ask why I was not informed about the project being transfered to other people. Was it because of my incompetence (very unlikely) or just my absence? If the change was for the best (I doubt it) I would be ok with it.

As a Scorpio I would feel betrayed and would express my sentiments in the most diplomatic way possible (thanks to Libra placements) to make sure it won't happen again.

But I would think twice about touching the project again if it has been "contaminated" while I was away. If I'm the only one who can do troubleshooting I would extend help but I'd make sure they realize they had done something stupid by not consulting me.

I don't need dramatic apologies or any showy acts of repentance whatever. I need them to show me that they trust me and respect my competence not with their words but with their actions and "energy".

posted August 14, 2009 07:20 PM         

I can't be won over. Whether I choose to carry on socializing, working, and being with people is totally and solely because I choose to over-look what was done.

People may think that they have won me over, but that's not entirely accurate. The thing is that I am patient with people, generally. I will let people say and do things that are hurtful to me, without taking them personally for a very long time before I feel disgruntled. I understand that people can have bad days, or bad periods and such, and that people can be selfish, greedy, and superficial etc. I understand a lot of evil in humans because although I don't usually express my evil side, I have it, and I am constantly trying to stifle it- especially when I am disgruntled; so I let a lot slide. Once I have decided that I am actually taking something personally by being disgruntled, there is no way of ever changing my mind (or at least I have never changed my mind thus far).

If a person hurts me, offends me, or acts in a way that is unacceptable to me, I will take some time out and be quiet. The silence is not a sign of being disgruntled, but it merely says that the jury is still out on that person. I can be incredibly hurtful and what a person dishes out to me I can usually dish it back out tenfold, and I know this weakness about me and so silence is a means to calm myself down because I do not want to hurt others, even though I can do it well because my sensitivity also means that I can easily tap into people's weaknesses so I usually know what hurts a person. So, I keep quiet, calm myself down, and try to be loving (say mantras like, "she is not horrible, she is just hurting" and such until it sinks in) because when I don't get silent, I shamefully get worse than the people who angered me. This makes me feel bad, so I try by all means to never do it. Fortunately, I have plenty of self-control so I seldom retaliate.

When the jury returns and it is clear that your actions have left me disgruntled and slighted, I then speak. I tell you what I feel and what you have done to my knowledge. I like it to be out in the open when things are sour, so that we don't waste energy pretending to be nice, hence if I don't like you, you probably know I don't, just as I usually emancipate people from pretending to be nice to me by just telling them that it's okay that they don't like me because I honestly believe that I am difficult to like.

At that stage, when it is definite that I am disgruntled, there is no turning back. I remain so until I forget your existence. If I have to see you daily, not giving me the opportunity to forget you, I change my perception of you and make it fun for me by making you my personal joke.

posted August 14, 2009 10:13 PM         

I say it all of the time, people are just people (“…only human, of flesh and blood…”, yes, I am quoting Human League, they were awesome!), stick and stones and all of that. I am understanding and I always try to put myself in someone else’s shoes.

I can forgive a breach in loyalty, but I will never forget and I turn into a very logical person about it. For example, I’ll forgive you for cheating but we are never going out again, why should we? You obviously want to date other people – that is the logic part. Or, you are talking crap about me, okay, I forgive you but we can never be friends again, why should we? You obviously don’t know how to be a friend. That type of thing.

posted August 17, 2009 03:10 AM         

Sun Taurus/Moon Libra/Rising Aquarius