posted August 21, 2009 03:02 AM            

TRIPLECANCER: The "desillusion"-factor, you described that very well! There's some self-destruction included in the Venus-Neptune-square ... I share that impression! Building hopes too high, experiencing disappointment later ... But even though I KNOW about this mechanism in my soul ... I still cannot handle it properly, even though I am in my late 30s already. It also made me wary, over the years. Btw: My Venus is in (intellectual) Virgo (early degree) in lofty 9th house - very analytical, in a way. And from there, it's squaring my Neptune in late Scorpio, Neptune in my 1st house, cj. my ASC. The square comes with a wide orb of 6 dg, and even though Neptune's and Venus's elements water and earth go well with each other, I still fell the negative input of this (wide) square ... Sometimes it feels as if I couldn't trust my instincts and gut feelings in the love department. Which is a real shame - since I am SO into "gut feelings" and "senstive perceptions", being a Cancer-Sun with an 8th house stellium (Sun, Mars, Mercury & Vertex in 8th), Scorpio-ASC and Pluto my chart ruler ... I am very "secure" about my gut feelings in everyday-life-situations, job-wise, etc. In the love field though ... my instincts leave me standing along every so often, so it seems...

posted August 21, 2009 02:58 PM            

Big expectations in love, often disappointed.
Tendancy to make excuses for my dear one, even when he treats me badly. Maybe this is a perverse form of compassion, but it tends to be a one way street.
Nagging doubts, always. Is he loyal? Does he love me, or am I convenient? Is he sincere? I can't be sure. The doubt can erode the honesty, simply because I keep it to myself, but always waiting for the big let-down to happen at any moment. Tender moments and sweet words can feel fake to me, because I'm afraid to really buy into it...but I fake it so as to not "ruin the moment".
A tendancy to give too much of myself away, to give my all and then some....usually this is not reciprocated. Relationships tend to disolve into me serving and accomodating their every need and whim, and them sitting back and taking it for granted. And then me feeling resentful and drifting away emotionally, and eventually, physically, into the arms of another...who seems so much more wonderful....at first. And the cycle begins again........

*sigh*** I do want to stop the insanity, but not really sure how to be any different in love.

posted August 21, 2009 03:25 PM              

how did he knew that this was the Real Love?

Hmmm cause i accept him as he is.and love him for who he is,and vice versa.

no one trying to transform the other or to shape it into someone who is our "ideal One".

you will know it too dont worry.the moment you realize that : when you look at the other person,and you see similarities between you too,you´´ll find out that by loving him/her,you are also loving yourself more.

posted August 21, 2009 04:57 PM            

"being attracted to married people and falling for them..They arent capable of saying "NO" when it comes to romance."

posted August 22, 2009 12:10 PM            

My 7th House Leo Venus squares my 10th House Scorpio Neptune/MC conjunction and squares my 3rd House Taurus Saturn (along with my Taurus IC).

The highest manifestation of these particular astrological combinations is my being a musician and artist with a strong need to help others and give service to the world. The lowest manifestation of these particular astrological combinations though, for me, particularly when I was younger, is I either felt superior to others and that no one was good enough for me or I felt trapped and annoyed in a relatively short time by people who got close to me. All my life it's been like a never-ending pendulum, swinging from a cycle of complete social extroversion then switching instantly to a cycle of hermit-like introversion when I'd had enough. I would be part of a circle of friends then I would tire of them and drop out and be a recluse for a long while. By my late 20's I had cut out all friends and pretty much all people out of my life.

My family (I'm adopted so I'm referring to them as such though they're not my biological family) is a nightmare, to put it mildly, so they've always been kept at bay as much as possible. Being adopted, particularly by the abusive and mentally ill people that adopted me, I felt alone from the start. I have no physical ties to ground me in this world (which gives me a certain spiritual perspective, a freedom to identify more with my soul than my body or life in this world, in addition to a highly developed awareness of my past life history). I have 4 other adopted siblings, none of them biological. We were constantly told we were a guest in my father's home and treated as such. I was raised to be independent and self-reliant at a very early age, raised by nannies mostly, sent off to spend summers in Denmark at my grandmother's with virtually no supervision (at my mother's request, as she wanted us to be free and independent) and running wild all over Copenhagen with my sister when I was about 8 to 12 years old, then sent off to boarding school at age 14 (something I was very happy about because I was fairly worldly and jaded by that point and I absolutely couldn't relate to my peers at home plus I desperately wanted to get away from my family). By 14 I was pretty much an adult. At 21 I bought my first house.

I didn't have a real "couple" relationship until I met and married my husband at age 32 - we've been married a little over 6 years now and it hasn't been easy, especially for me. He recently went through a nasty period of bad transits where he suddenly turned into a cold, depressed, emotionally withdrawn stranger who was seriously considering divorce, which was ironic because I'm the one who's been so conflicted and up and down in our relationship. Now he's over those transits and wants everything to get back to the way it was. But for me once someone hurts me or betrays my trust I can't just forgive and forget. All trust is gone now and I'm not sure what's going to happen. Most of the time I feel trapped. To be fair though, most of my life I've felt trapped - by the people around me, by the circumstances I've found myself in, by my own sense of boredom and isolation, etc.

I'm constantly struggling with the "wanting to be alone" vs. "wanting to be in a relationship" polarity. My Aqua ASC makes my chart ruler Uranus (I have it natally in the 8th house along with Jupiter and Pluto) and freedom is more important to me than anything else. The Aqua ASC and my Pisces North Node in the 1st / Virgo South Node in the 7th magnifies that struggle. Having a 7th House Virgo Moon doesn't help either - I tend to be rather critical and reserved and I'm very distrustful of others.

Natally I have a very afflicted Venus:

Venus semisextile Mars
Venus square Saturn
Venus square Neptune
Venus square MC/IC
Venus inconjunct Pluto
Venus conjunct Dark Moon Lilith
Venus conjunct Black Moon Lilith (Lunar Apogee)
Venus conjunct True Black Moon Lilith
Venus conjunct DNA
Venus conjunct Pandora

posted August 23, 2009 06:15 PM            

The issue that I had was settling down with the first guy who would show interest in me. I would go straight into courtship and I didn't take the time to REALLY get to know the man I was involved with. (So I'd meet a man, become instant boyfriend-girlfriend, a few months later get engaged).

The guys turned out to be not right for me or highly abusive and I had many times were I'd walk away from relationship limping (Figuratively speaking of course) and in great pain.

I used to give in on the intimate front almost right away and soon realized that a guy didn't care for me - he only wanted sex. It left me feeling very depressed and like I was the joke......low self esteem there. For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me and why men would treat me as such...there was no self value there.

I've been engaged around 3 or 4 times, never walked down the aisle. Maybe it's the Uranus trine Ascendent aspect I have in my chart. or the 5th house Uranus - Since Uranus is in Libra and Venus is a ruler of Libra - it plays part in it.

From Sept 30, 1989 till about February 2006, my dating and relationship life was a shipwreck.

I had to take 3 years off from relationships totally and focused more on myself. I had to create my life and go out on my own to become more of who I am.....one other relationship pitfall, was that I used to always compromise myself, which lead to the guy not respecting me. But growing up with folks who used to rake me over the coals about being extremely selfish and didn't care about anybody else (Which was not the truth).....

Eventually I learned my lesson....during those 3 successfully single years I had to myself, I was more self respecting and self focussed and I didn't give in to men who only seemed to want sex. They went by the way side and I focused on becoming friends first before entering anything. (Now trust has to be earned and I know I have to get to know a person first cause I'll be damned if I ever make my past mistakes again.)

posted August 24, 2009 05:56 AM            

Venus square Neptune is the story of my life. I got engaged last year to someone I'd only known for nine days. My heart is unscrupulous -- I think I could fall in love with anyone if I just stared at them long enough.

At times, I feel like my soul is going to explode with this awe-stricken adoration I have for everyone I know (not just in a romantic sense), and yet, at other times, the mere idea of a relationship terrifies me. I love to be alone. If someone is in my "personal space" for more than a few hours, I start to resent them, no matter how awesome they are. This definitely spells trouble when I'm in a relationship, because any prolonged periods spent with a significant other make me ache for some space. It's hard justifying needing so much "alone time," but symbolically, it makes sense -- my spiritual core (Neptune) faces friction when there's another person around (Venus), creating constant tension. In a relationship, I feel like I have to sacrifice part of my self while spending time with the other person.

As a few others have as well, Jupiter configures into my square (conjunct Venus with a 0'07 orb), exacerbating the problem.

I notice I attract (or am attracted to) men with a strong Neptunian influence -- especially ones who also have hard Venus/Neptune aspects. On some level, I think I'm drawn to them because they share my delusional views of love. Two fools together can be pretty spectacular for a while. Of course, everything comes crashing down later.

My ex fiance had Neptune conjunct his sun, Venus, and descendant, and his sun was exactly (to the minute) conjunct my Neptune. The ex before him had a Pisces moon, with his sun and Venus in the 12th house, and Neptune at the apex of a T-square with Mercury and the moon. Previous boyfriends either had Neptune square Venus, or Neptune square their 7th house ruler.

My longest, most "successful" (if you could call it that) relationships have been long distance ones. In fact, the majority of my exes have been long distance (between 200 and 1500 miles away) for a good portion of the relationship, seeing each other only once every month or two. I like that arrangement because I can keep my idealized image of them intact for a long time. It's only when I see a person more frequently that reality sinks in and I have to abandon my carefully-constructed image of how I'd like them to be. In fact, the recurring theme is that fantasy -- Neptune's beautiful illusion. I meet someone who has potential, keep enough distance so I can fill in the gaps with the qualities I want them to have, and then try to keep that arrangement going for as long as possible.

Nearly all my relationships have fallen apart as soon as we get truly close. Both in a physical and emotional sense.

And let's not forget the impossibly high standards! He's got to be brilliant, handsome, compassionate, and able to read my mind at any given moment so we can engage in telepathy, thus avoiding actual confrontation (which I have issues with).

Gosh, I would hate to date myself.

EDIT: On the bright side, I do think this aspect can bring a superhuman capacity for love. Even though my romantic relationships are a joke, I really truly love every person I've ever met, and can find the good in just about anyone. Even if the "good" is something I'm just imagining. Channeled correctly and used with some discernment, Venus square Neptune can bring a soul-level love that transcends anything material or physical.

posted August 24, 2009 05:59 AM            

"With the square, there can be difficulties with the inhibition of emotions, creativity and relationships with others. Part of this difficulty arises from an extreme sensitivity of feelings which have never been properly integrated. The other main source is that of an unrealistic imagination which has a tendency to create escapist private realities, where you can avoid facing those aspects of life that you dislike or which are too painful.

The square is one of the Neptune aspects that stimulates those emotional-level fogs and mists, creating a consequence of being unable to see clearly and of being liable to make misjudgements; and which fuels tendencies of self-deception and mental distortion. Sometimes you even 'rely' on these inner fogs to prevent you from seeing the real and true situations regarding yourself and your relationships. Often these emotionally rooted problems are associated with impulses from the unconscious mind, and there can be a pattern of guilt, self-sacrifice and martyrdom operating within you at a deep unconscious level.

These factors tend to make you vulnerable to deception, prone to suffer from your own reality projections and filters, and from the choices and actions of others who may be similarly psychologically influenced. Due to this unease within your emotions, you can be almost belligerently defensive at times when you believe that others are opposing you; relationship or employment disputations are probable. There can be inner reactions against too much social or work company, often caused by that apssive and unconscious empathy which can intensify the level of stress and tension in you. Such psychic currents seep into your 'aura' and mind at an unconscious level, and these will influence your state of well-being unless you recognise what may be occurring and then take action to release these intrusive energies from your body-emotions-mind system.

Intimate relationships can be a source of challenges, especially when you have made some form of emotional commitment, as often your choice of lover or partner results from misjudgement. Unless you have psychologically cleansed your distorting emotional level, you may discover that marriage may reveal a lack of honesty and direct relationship, and the impulse of attraction was founded solely on transient passions, illusions and the personal need to rely on another. It can be that a preoccupation with those inner emotional flaws makes you less adept at dealing with the material world, and this can translate into unwise financial and business decisions, which can then have a negative impact on the economic foundations of a family and marriage.

Often there is a need to rely on others, or on an ideology or religion. You are basically idealistic, yet this is likely to attract you towards involvement with minority cults or foreign religions because of their glamours and strange fascinations. These can be a seed bed for additional confusions and distortions if not carefully approached, and you may discover that you have been too indiscriminate in your choices. In several ways, these are symptomatic of an inner need of transformation, of the need to redeem negative patterns dominating your life. Sexuality as a powerful aspect of the impulse for relationships can be a prime area in which such dilemmas can be expressed. This can be revealed through needs for multiple partners, searching for a perfect thgouh unattainable lover, yet being unprepared and unwilling to actually commit yourself to a real flesh-and-blood person. It may emerget through excessive sexual imagination, where unfulfilled sexual imagery and desires may be intertwined with underlying and repressed emotionally based complexes, or are practised secretly and conspire to build an area of denial in your life.

Changes are probably needed in order to integrate the Neptune energy into your life, so that it ceases to display its more negative face of unresolution. Your attitutdes to others through relationships need to be redefined, so that any paranoia is dropped, as well as any tendencies toward exploitation by yourself or against yourself. Standing free and independent is preferable, at ltast as an initial cleansing process. Facing reality, and turning experience into wisdom and insight, is an essential step to move towards, so that your basic perception of your own nature and of others is reconstructed. Turning within through meditation or forms of self-therapy is an ideal path to take, so that you begin to release the old patterns, discover a new centre by cleaning out old illusions, and see through new eyes. Meditation is a deconditioning technique, sequentially liberating through practice, and redirecting the energy flow of the mind not inwards instead of outwards, so the energy acts as a penetrating disperser of restrictive psychological patterns. This will strengthen self-discipline, which, as energy is released through the resolution of inner conflicts and frictions, can free those channels of blocked creativity, and so enable you to take control and direction of your life back into your own hands. Accepting personal responsibility for your choices, decisions and actions will create a firm foundation to deal with the more complex sphere of the emotional sensitivities which, whilst it may take time and effort to clarify, is the point of resolution for the majority of conflicts in your life, and so is the key to a meaningful and satisfying future experience."

posted November 14, 2022 07:53 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Alvarella777:
GEMINIFRONT - not sure, but I think the opposition might have similar effects.

TRIPLECANCER: The "desillusion"-factor, you described that very well! There's some self-destruction included in the Venus-Neptune-square ... I share that impression! Building hopes too high, experiencing disappointment later ... But even though I KNOW about this mechanism in my soul ... I still cannot handle it properly, even though I am in my late 30s already. It also made me wary, over the years. Btw: My Venus is in (intellectual) Virgo (early degree) in lofty 9th house - very analytical, in a way. And from there, it's squaring my Neptune in late Scorpio, Neptune in my 1st house, cj. my ASC. The square comes with a wide orb of 6 dg, and even though Neptune's and Venus's elements water and earth go well with each other, I still fell the negative input of this (wide) square ... Sometimes it feels as if I couldn't trust my instincts and gut feelings in the love department. Which is a real shame - since I am SO into "gut feelings" and "senstive perceptions", being a Cancer-Sun with an 8th house stellium (Sun, Mars, Mercury & Vertex in 8th), Scorpio-ASC and Pluto my chart ruler ... I am very "secure" about my gut feelings in everyday-life-situations, job-wise, etc. In the love field though ... my instincts leave me standing along every so often, so it seems...

P.S.: My natal Venus is exactly cj. my SN, on top of that. That means, of course: exactly opposing my (Pisces-)-NN. Also a factor, that I can't seem to handle properly, I mean: the STRONG link to my SN, my "karmic past" or whatever ...

---

Alvarella777, looks like you have the same chart as my love interest!

posted November 21, 2022 01:40 PM            

Earth placements probably keep me more grounded. I’ve never had high expectations of people. And I think I expect not so much from people how they still could ruin it?!

posted December 01, 2022 06:44 PM            

can totally relate.. When they fall from grace I exercise compassion. A different person may exercise rage.

This is all in my own mind though.. as overtime, I've learned to ALSO exercise strong boundaries with people (see the revenge thread here on LL). So somewhere inside of me I've recognised my faults and the danger to myself. Apparently then, I'm not a complete doormat.

Privately, I inevitably enjoy the love I have for them by thinking of their endearing elements. It just feels cleaner, and it's easier.

I don't know anyone with Neptune/Moon, I imagine something like a person who is actually a floating cloud.