posted September 30, 2009 02:33 PM         

Do you take it to heart, or with a grain of salt?

Just wondering...

posted September 30, 2009 03:02 PM         

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•' •.♥♫♫´°°♫ • Life is Beautiful •.♥.•♫°°´♫♫ ♥ •

•Sun• Cancer
•Moon• Gemini
•Mars• Cancer
•Mercury• Cancer
•Venus• Leo

posted September 30, 2009 03:08 PM         

1) Use your own knowledge of astrology (with the help of internet resources etc) and of the relationship to explore alternative ways that the dynamics the astrologer has found are playing out.

I used this example in another thread--I do intuitive readings sometimes...if I am in the room with the person I am wildly accurate...and I saw that a client's husband was grieving because their child had died. Now--this woman has no children. Turns out, their dog had died the previous weekend!

This is a simplistic real-life example--but I think a lot of readings can be like this--filled with accurate insights about the VIBE, energies, and dynamics that might be going wrong...but the details interpreted wrong. For example, an astrologer might interpret a challenging Neptune aspect in a composite as meaning that the couple will abuse substances together....when actually, she is a teetotler and him an occasional and moderate social drinker....BUT when they are together, they tend to lose themselves in trippy, semi-delusional "mystical" experiences and thinking, unwilling or unable to address necessary, practical realities. Or an astrologer might read as aspect in a composite as indicative of violence...when actually, the relationship is not violent, but both people are healing from a violent past and a major theme of the relationship is dealing with that legacy together.

2) Consider the reading in light of your own personal philosophy, ethics, and beliefs. Ask yourself how you feel astrology works and how it should best be used. Do you believe the news about a relationship based on astral positions at the time of your birth and a loved one's birth can doom your relation to be "bad" news, or make you fated to be "soul mates"? Or do you see astrology as providing a rich and fascinating metaphorical system that seems to have a lot of accuracy in mapping interpersonal energies and dynamics, but does not predict the future or the present is any simplistic or definitive way? Make sure you are working with the astrologer's reading in a way that mirrors and honors your beliefs and experience.

3) Ask yourself--and I suggest writing the answer down, and being brutally honest--WHY you wanted a relationship reading at all and what you were hoping to get out of the reading.

I notice a lot of people on Lindaland seem to get a reading because they are seeing tons of red flags.

In my case, I always get a reading if someone I want is not chasing after me. I recently got a reading on here where the astrologer saw only red flags that the guy was deceiving me and using me for my money or something equivalent, and that his intentions toward me were evil, but the only part of the reading that hurt was that the astrologer said "you are very attracted to this man", and did not say the man was attracted to me. I just wanted to hear that something in our charts makes this man think I am pretty and sexy!! Since we are not lovers and I'm not sure whether or not he wants to be.

4) As well as analyzing the chart yourself, get second, third, and fourth opinions from other astrologers.

There are some astrologers here on Lindaland who are very generous with free readings, and no one wants to be disrespectful or ungrateful about that.

But when a reading seems very inaccurate, like when the astrologer says a relationship probably does not actually exist or, if it does, it's likelier to be a professional relationship than a personal one--but you were asking about your husband you are madly in love with--obviously, the astrologer picked up on different potentials than the ones that are playing out in real life.

posted September 30, 2009 03:42 PM         

then you think about it..A LOT

...and realize certain things...like perception...

and how it is different for eveyone..

you consider what someone brings to your life, what someone takes that you willingly give and realize what works for one doesn't work for all....as every realtionship is different.

you also study the aspects a little closer and maybe make some proactive steps to protect yourself from possible pitfalls.

thank the reader for thier two cents and go on.

then you look at your husband and realize how lucky you are to have someone you can trust and know that he is going to be there for you. and realize how safe you feel in his arms and how that safe feeling is one of the reasons you love him so much and just know things are going to be alright. eyes wide open.

thats what i would do. i know for a fact.

posted September 30, 2009 03:53 PM         

i would investigate myself

i would check what I really feel and do accordingly

posted October 01, 2009 09:48 AM         

Why did I want the reading in the first place? The answer to that is something I really didn't expect. When a relationship is currently becoming unsatisfying to me or when my partner does something that I don't understand or like, instead of talking to the person and working it out, I get a reading knowing that there will be good and bad things interpreted. (because no relationship is perfect) I then focus on the bad only and convince myself it was never meant to be, and have a valid reason for leaving the relationship before I get hurt.

I almost never get a reading when things are wonderful! It's crazy because I never realized this pattern in myself until I thought about Lucia's question. When I'm not happy, I look for reasons to justify why the relationship is not making me happy. Which in a reading, shows up as this or that aspect in a chart. Maybe, instead of taking the responsibility off myself, and looking to and blaming the charts as reasons why I'm unhappy and possible endings in doom, I should look more to myself!

This got me thinking more and more, and I realized that my solution for everything that doesn't go 100% perfectly and entirely my way, is to look for the exit before I get hurt. I think I get readings out of fear. Fear of getting hurt, and the fear of the unknown. What typically happens from this is that I end up hurting myself anyway, and make the reading a self fulfilling prophecy.

I think readings are useful in seeing what dynamics may play out, and what the script may say. But we are the players, and after all, life is an improv.

Thanks Lucia!

cpn_edgar_winner!

posted October 01, 2009 02:10 PM         

In my case, I have freaked out by an horary reading some time ago, coz it perfectly reflected my fears of the moment. Even a few professional astrologers confirmed the bad news, which made me really anxious. >_< But well, in the end, things still went well. Actually, the chart showed (at least) two possible outcomes, and the astrologers went for the other ending coz it was the one that seemed more probable.

posted October 03, 2009 01:06 PM         

What does your chart look like? I tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to my life... as in I expect things to go a certain way, and if they DON'T, I get very upset and unhappy. I have my Venus in Aries and AC in Virgo, not sure if that explains it? But Venus in Aries denotes selfishness in relationships, and I can be admittedly so.

One thing I've realized is, relationships are a constant rollercoaster: What comes up, must come down... what comes down, must come up... it's an inescapable cycle... And like you, when things are "down," I have a tendancy to look for answers outside the relationship i.e. astrology readings, striving to find the reason for my own unhappiness out of FEAR... of getting hurt. I do have some abandonment issues stemming from my childhood to thank for this... Both of my parents abandoned me completely at some point in my life... This still haunts me and makes me approach relationships with extreme caution, finding reasons to get out before he finds a reason to leave me.

I think that people in today's society have lost their will to fight. To fight for what they want/love. Consumed with the unrealistic expectation of "instant gratification" that has swept this country like an epidemic, when situations in our lives become a struggle, we tend to look for an exit. Hence we find reasons why this or that is just "probably not meant to be" or "not really working for us anymore." Look at the divorce rates!!

Relationships are meant to test us. There will be pitfalls. What else could we possibly expect from such complex creatures as us human beings? Just like many others have stated earlier, I agree that astrology depicts the POSSIBILITIES. I think it's how badly you both want to make it work that will be one of the deciding factors.

When he comes home... what is your first impulse? To jump into his arms and give him a warm kiss? Or to reluctantly stop what you were doing and say hello? Astrology aside, how much do you care for him?

posted October 05, 2009 04:33 PM         

Thanks so much for your input. I completely 100% agree with you. I think in this consumer day and age, people want automatic "custom" partners specifically tailored to them. The stepford wife/husband is so much easier to live with aren't they? People just don't want to fight for their relationships, or do the work anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that your parents abandoned you. That is an awful thing to have experienced as a child. Unfortunatly that will definitely affect your adult relationships, but I think the fact that you acknowledge and can recognize your patterns, and fear is a huge step to letting go of the negative energies and cycles instilled in you from childhood.

I agree that astrology is about possibilities, and different astrologers may see something different when reading the same charts. It's all perspective.

posted October 05, 2009 04:54 PM         

uyour intuition never lies.

let me say what i did:

the 1st time i entered LL,i asked about our composite.
one person,(who was here a very respected astrologer,but i think now isnt here at LL anymore,dont remenber the name)...said among other things:

ve/uranus square ( 9º)
sun/nept square (4º)
nep/moon square(10º)

well with these he pratically said that our relationship would be a deception,and probably have infidelity...i dont remember more cause human brain tends to memorize the bad things...hihihih

so i memorized this,after 3 years had passed!

what did i do?did i ended the relationship?did i beleieved in these words?

it was in the begginning of our relationship,and i didnt knew nothing about astrology. i got a bit scared yes....then i looked to what we had.i looked to our moments,and i asked myself:

"Ana,what do you really feel is the Truth?"?

my heart said:well,you both are idealistic in love,but you both know that Love is rare,and even more rare is to find someone that wants to share it."

So...i realized that when two people really love each other,must give a chance to Love,even when it seems a risk,and seems hard and complicated,and to have all against it.

we did that.we are still doing it.i never ever regret on having had listened to my heart.

deception?infidelity?those words are so distant from our Lives.i trust completely in what we have.

and the only deception we can have with each other,is if one day we discover not to be as perfect as we thought we were...and what is wrong with that?