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Author
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Topic: I'm scared this synastry could be abusive
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scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 203
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted October 08, 2009 07:26 PM
 
I've had a long distance relationship with a man about halfway across the country for a few months now. We both had an instant soul recognition, we know we've known eachother before for several times. We did get into a minor arguement and didn't speak for 1 week. One reason we relate is because he is a sun conj pluto just like me, he's deep and intense and we understand eachother. His mars is conj my venus in my 5th and my mars is also in his 5th, BUT conj saturn  Still, lots of sexual attraction. The thing that causes me some concern is natally he has mars conj pluto with saturn squaring both. That's pretty intense I know. AND my mars that's conj his saturn is closely squaring his mars and pluto conjunct, 1 deg! Anyone have any experience with this? What do you think?IP: Logged |
iQ
Knowflake Posts: 510
From: Chennai, India
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 05:18 AM
My very sincere advice:
As per the Law of Attraction, unless and until you love yourself totally, you will keep attracting people who will treat you the way you treat yourself.
Without even looking at his chart I can say that the relationship will become abusive.
( You can check his Nessus and Dejanira aspects as well, they might square important plabnets/asteroids in your chart. )Once you master loving your own self unconditionally and treating yourself right, your Prince Charming will come to a place nearest to you on a nice Venus Transit and sweep you off of your feet. ------------------
Soul Mate Love Calculator http://tamsoft.co.in/articles.html IP: Logged |
DiandraReborn25
Knowflake Posts: 357
From: Portugal
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 06:55 AM
ScrappyIQ is right you know...and think about it:if you are asking this question,maybe you already know inside you,the answer? that happened to my bf,before he met me:he met someone at 18.in a moment where he wasnt loving himself,and even his own family were not supporting or giving him the love he deserved. he eventually attracted a girl who treated him,exactly the way he was treated at his home...making him more and more out of love,and without love.the more he felt undeserfull of love,the more she treated him like garbage.
he was almost 4 years in that state.untill he realised that.broke up and after 2 years,he met me.finally he met his real love when he started taking the control of his life,and loving himself.
that is the way it goes. Love yourself,treat yourself good and make the most of your life,happily being you.
when you least expect it,he will come along! IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 913
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 07:23 AM
What do your instincts tell you? You are in a relationship with a man, not a chart. Did you wonder about this before you checked out Mars, Saturn and Pluto? If you have doubts then maybe speaking to a friend you trust would be a better idea than pouring over the charts. At least, that would be the direction I would be heading in. I find synastry helpful as a spiritual guide but it isn't the final answer. Neither's the friend! Always the guts, scrappy, always the guts. IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 284
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 07:33 AM
IQ. I have dejanera 11,44 in scorpio His dejanera is conj my MC My dejanira 11,44 conj my karma 13,31 in scorp/nept 15,04 in scorp/algol 15,44 in scorp My dejanira/karma trine his karma 13,cancer
My dejanira/karma trine his hera 11,pisces
My dejanira/karma conj his venus 11,07 scorp
My dejanir/karma sextil his BML 10, virgo My dejanira/karma square his lust conj eros (10,-12,)in aqua What´s that mean? I'm not that kind of woman who are dangerous to any man... IP: Logged |
comica23
Knowflake Posts: 537
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 09:24 AM
I agree with iQ's law of attraction.But well, just based on this aspect, I guess that there's attraction/obsession (his Mars/Pluto on your Venus), but there are probably difficult conflicts that could lead to fights (his Saturn might like your Mars, but can be restricting, as well to your Venus coz of the square, and then his intense Mars/Pluto can also be at odds with your Mars coz of the square - conflict between actions, restrictions). But it doesn't have to be about abuse or anything serious. Depends on how you both see the conflicts manifested from these aspects. Also, you can see how each of you deals with your own natal squares (your Mars/Venus square and his Mars/Pluto/Saturn square) in order to see how affected/serious each takes these manifestations. Maybe it can lead to arguments and unpleasant fights, but it doesn't necessarily mean really bad stuffs. How the couple deals with these aspects and how mature they are influences a lot. Also, maybe it can be kinda hard to deal with the conflicts at the beginning, but give it some time to see if it can be worked together (as long as it's just arguing and no abuse of course). IP: Logged |
amowls*
Knowflake Posts: 594
From: richmond va
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 09:33 AM
It doesn't have to be physical, it can become emotionally abusive. I find that to be a bit scarier because it's not as obvious.IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 203
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 11:11 AM
IQ, that's probably some of the best advice i've had. Blue Moon, I agree and my gut is telling me might be full of anger and frustration and that free spirited me would only exasperate him and make him controling. So I guess I have my answer.IP: Logged |
jenfullmoon
Knowflake Posts: 11
From: California
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted October 09, 2009 04:07 PM
Read Carolyn Hax's chat today, she goes into the cycle of abuse:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/10/02/DI2009100203973.html Notice how the behavior works. Is he falling into this pattern with you? And anyone with Mars/Pluto/Saturn will have some physical anger issues. Does he channel them in a healthy way (like sports) or unhealthy (onto other people)? That's really something to keep track of with those aspects in a person. IP: Logged |
running_bull
Knowflake Posts: 22
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted October 10, 2009 05:02 PM
I agree with Blue Moon, trust your gut instincts. It sounds like you two may not have even met yet, not sure if I am wrong about that o not, but, if you have not, wait and see what your feelings are when together.If you have met, still go with your instincts. I hate to see people throw away or question a relationship based upon aspects without considering the individual's inclination to express them negatively. In short, there are no absolutes, use every tool you have to assess the benefit of this person in your life. But, do so rationally. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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