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Author Topic:   Sharing Space in Relationship
Peri
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posted October 11, 2009 08:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
by Linda Reid

What is Relationship?
When we examine a birth chart we see from the interface of opposite houses that contact with others are all essentials to wholeness and well being. In the first house, one is 'looking out' to the 7th to search for a special 'other'. From the 2nd house one measures resources and self worth through the reflective experience of the 8th house. Every 'subjective house' - from 1 to 6, has its counterpart in the 'objective house' opposite, from 7 to 12.
The line from Ascendant to Descendant called the Horizon separates two distinct areas of life experience and relationship embedded in the meaning of these hemispheres. The 1st and 7th houses define the Horizon and are where we most clearly focus on the exchange between the solitary self and intimate relationship with others.

The 1st house is about the experience of coping with the world at large. It connects to the idea of 'persona' - the part of the personality comfortably exposed to the world, and in some ways a mask behind which to protect the vulnerable inner self.

By polarity, the 7th house is where that vulnerability lies and represents that which is least exposed to the world. Here is where parts of the self are not revealed except in intimacy with another. In the complex dynamics of 1st and 7th house polarity the 7th house acts as a place for the "shadow" components of the self.

What is "Shadow"
"Shadow" can be explained as all that a person denies or is unable to recognise or acknowledge about himself, both positively and negatively - a sort of compensating facet of the self which is deemed incompatible with what the conscious world demands. This "shadow" can be like a splinter aspect of personality that contains positive and negative traits. In relationships one might seek another person who is able to express these qualities so that one experiences a sense of whole being.


The Self and the Other
The 1st house is about survival. Over and above all the other connections with the house, it is the first experience, marking coming into conscious being at the moment of birth. Survival is the instinctive "perpetual flame" of spirited life and carries overtones of the planet Mars. Imagine Olympian runners who carry the torch across the world. Healthy, virile and powerful, the runner guards the flame until he reaches the goal, which is to announce to the world the message of human love, peace and good relationships between people. Nations gather in the name of this ethic, and the doves of peace and harmony that are released as the flame arrives at the goal are a symbol of what has motivated the race in the first place. The whole process is an allegory for 1st house - 7th house dynamics - the urge to find peace, acceptance, approval, love and beauty in the eyes of another and of the world; a joyous celebration of individual survival to reach for unity. The principles of love, harmony, unity are embedded in 7th house meaning. In surviving the elements, stress, loneliness, the runner finds his sense of realisation. He is loved, acclaimed, adored and applauded.
It is entirely natural and instinctive to seek others in order that they may reflect something of ourselves, our prowess, our gifts and talents. There would be little purpose in surviving if we did not have others with whom to share, compete, love, approve and support, and with whom to find a sense of worthiness. Each person seeks reflection in the eyes of another and that reflection confirms and reinforces ‘being’.

Synastry
When working with charts and relationship, astrologers examine the way one person’s planetary energies interface with another person’s planetary energies. This is called Synastry. It is illustrated in the exchange between the gestalt of houses, the paradox of archetypal pairs and the connections and exchange between specific planets.
Synastry defines the psychic urges, energies and connections that are made in this exchange. No one person can affect another without being affected themselves. Perfectly placid people can find themselves filled with tension when around specific individuals. They may even react physically, as their hair stands on end, and they may feel intruded upon by the very presence of the other so that they feel compelled to take a step backwards. One person does indeed invade the other's ‘space’! Similarly one may feel empowered and delighted by the presence of another. A gap has been breached and ‘space’ has been occupied but in a harmonious and pleasurable way. Such is the nature of attraction and one might take a step forward in this circumstance! Exchange of energy between two bodies is a two-way connection and like a magnet, can repel or attract. In intimate relationships people build a mutuality that has its own space and becomes a composite of the planets involved, taking on a life or "entity" in itself, that lies between the partners and is a mutual melding of parts of each.

The Astrologer's Role in Relationships' Counselling
Astrologers need to look at relationship in a completely non involved and non judgmental way. When counselling others we have to take care not to invade their mutual space. We must never 'blame' - even though one person might exhibit negative traits. The exchange in relationship is what is important not one individual's effect on the other in a polarised kind of way. As explained, when there is a contact between planets, each archetypal symbol takes on a new meaning as they meld with the other.
The dynamic of projection will always be occurring in any relationship and objectivity is the way in which the astrologer can best dissociate from ‘issues’ in the clients life and not make personal connection with those issues. That way he protects himself from the projections of clients to avoid being ‘blamed’ for things that occur in a client’s life! "Blame" in itself is a process of denial of responsibility and an attempt to shift issues like so much baggage from one person to another. "Issues" arise when the melded energy is stimulated, positively or negatively, drawing out the potential positive or negative faces of that melded energy. Most often this occurs as transits or progressions trigger responses in one or both of the partners and resonate within the shared space.

Astrologers' roles are to empower clients to make creative decisions and take actions for themselves. If we take away that power by identifying with their issues, making decisions for clients, we are not doing our jobs correctly. Only rarely, perhaps where there is danger to life,can we step in and become directly involved. The responsible astrologer will have links with shelters, legal advisors and other professionals.

What is Projection ?
The shadow finds its most virile expression in relationships. What we don't own is dumped on the other person! This is an entirely unconscious process because if we were conscious it was happening we would be owning it! We project our positives too for it is a sad fact that we often bury our affirmative qualities along with the undesirable. To understand how projection works, imagine a film projector, beaming images that are embedded in and emenate from a reel of film. Those images pass through the air and are not decipherable as they are being 'beamed'. We can only decipher them when they 'hit' a screen, set the right distance away so there is focus. This is projection. If I am standing beside the projector - effectively, if I am the projector - I see, reflected on the screen, exactly what is embedded in the film. Since the film "belongs" to me, I see the very images which I initially 'own'. But I may not be aware that the film is running! If the images do not hit on a screen, they continue into the distance until they either run out of energy, as defined by the power of the projector, or they hit on a screen so distant that the images are blurred and meaningless. So, in order to see the images, the screen has to be exactly in the right place and the right focus length! This is the ‘hook’ for my projections - the one with whom I have a relationship! What I project is reflected back to me and it appears that the screen is the reality not the projector!
Inner archetypes, energies, drive, desires and shadow 'stuff' is projected out into lifes arena, albeit unconsciously. This is a natural process of the psyche seeking connectedness with life. Many of those 'projections' can be defined as 'expectations' that we become aware of and deal with through understanding our own psychic dynamics, but often we are surprised by what we see projected. That's normal! It doesn’t always have to be experienced through intimacy, but can be found every day, in all associations.

There is creative good in projecting our positives. By doing so, we empower the other person, actuating, supporting and confirming those same qualities in them. And so we nurture each other. Negative energies are another matter . When we project our negative shadow sides, they are likely to respond from their shadow side too. " Shadow boxing " is all too common a phenomenon in relationship but is not identified until such time as it rises up and socks us!

Working with Synastry
In a synastric relationship there will be times when the mutual meeting point is affected by the unfolding cycles of planets. If, for example Pluto is dominant by transit or by being transited in the chart of one or both partners, the relationship can become ‘ridden’ by the energy of Pluto. Any connections in the synastry of the people that are responsive to Pluto, will arise as ‘issues’ for them. The connection may lie dormant for years until the right trigger comes along and focuses on that particular facet of the relationship. Then the shadows may both come out to play and it isn't really play, but a deadly game of power play. In examining the synastry between people astrologers can identify potential "hot spots". To do so we have a useful tool called the synastry grid, which will be detailed in part two of this series or articles.
So who owns what? No one person, necessarily. What is central to the theme is the melding of energies - an archetypal meeting in a sort of morphogenic field - mutual space. Energies touch, connect, blend and integrate and the source is lost from view . An alchemical change occurs and the core meaning of each planet is modified. Astrologers deal with that third entity, not the sources.

It sometimes occurs that a relationship is distinctly unhealthy and for some reason not apparent at the time, people are drawn together to fulfil some facet of shadow experience. We need as astroogers to be realistic and not idealistic about relationships. Sometimes they outlive their purpose and creativity. We need techniques to assess the overall viability of a relationship over and above specific issues.

Exchange is graphically shown in the synastry grid illustrating planetary interaction between one person and another. Particular points of contact alert us to potential ‘issues’ that could arise and also give us potential points of harmony and balance through which our clients can be encouraged to enjoy more fully.

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Peri
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posted October 11, 2009 08:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
Inner Planets
The top block, enclosing Mars to Mars - are the Conscious dynamics.involving the Inner planets. This is the kind of exchange that is in each person's awareness as they are interacting on a personal level. This is the exchange that goes on day to day. These planets enable individuals to recognise each other's needs and significance, challenge and co-operate with each other openly . This is a particularly vital dimension, the dimension of activity and consciousness , life giving and constant. Because the "inner" or personal planets are closer to individual awareness the individuals are less likely to project so one tends to 'own' this area. There are 25 possible contacts here. Obviously we cannot expect that every space in the grid will have a contact. If it did one might have an extremely symbiotic relationship. 12 to 14 is a reasonable number of contacts to expect, depending on the type of relationship. The more contacts, the more dynamic, vital and energetic the relationship will be, also the more complicated and exclusive of others it can become, so there needs to be spaces in the togetherness! Within this field area there are exchanges between archetypal pairs that come into relationship already equipped with paradox!


Outer Planets to Inner Planets
Outer planets to Inner planets appear in two locations . A's Outer planets to B's Inner planets and B's to A's - top left and bottom right squares. Contacts here represent unconscious energies emerging into consciousness. This is the kind of exchange that operates at a subliminal level and can be easy to project. Because of the tendency to project, one must avoid the tendency to define 'who is doing what to whom', but that there may be an issue arising at some time, if the aspects are difficult or there may be opportunities for growth through relationship if the aspects are easy. The person who's inner 'personal' planet is 'hit on', is the one who may bring the issue into the consciousness. The field outlined is from Jupiter to Pluto, so they involve both the Social Jupiter and Saturn and Transpersonal Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. These are the undercurrents that most often manifest as issues.
From Jupiter to Pluto there are several layers or levels of consciousness leading to unconsciousness. The deeper layers are symbolised in the actual distances of the planets in orbit. In this way Jupiter to a personal planet constellates closer to consciousness and by the time you get to Pluto you are getting deeper and deeper into the layers of the unconscious. With Pluto in particular there is a feeling of compulsion, maybe a habit-forming relationship with the other person's personal planet. So if one person's Pluto aspects the other person's Venus there is a compelling quality to the relationship that is almost indescribable. It has enormous magnetic pull that, depending on the condition of Venus and Pluto in the individual natal charts, might fulfil some huge need and can often be the sort of thing that holds people together for better and often for worse - depending on how they handle the conscious dynamics. This area is where you get a lot of insight into the relationship, not just what is said or what is acted out but what lies beneath the surface. The transpersonal planets are often the ones most projected, because, between people of similar ages, they might reflect natal potentials into relationship and the other person becomes an easy means to subconscious denial.

This area is where the relationship gains maturity or falls apart. This is where people sometimes must address the undercurrents, the sorts of issues that constellate and arise from unconscious energy and where there's a real need to look within and say what do I want out of the relationship. Why are these issues arising. What are they telling you. Enormous growth can take place through these contacts. So can enormous destruction. Each person has a representative set of boxes of their own, so there are two boxes with 25 in each. Twice as many as in the conscious square! Twice the possibility of hits that affect the relationship. What are these little energy bursts doing to the relationship? Is the relationship able to stand the button pushing stuff in each separate individual?

Jupiter and Saturn
Within this section there is a sort of sub section where Jupiter and Saturn interact. These planets are the bridge between personal and transpersonal and have a lot to do with the way we live our lives with others. So it is worth looking at them as a separate gestalt to the Transpersonal planets. To do so, means to again draw a line between Saturn and Uranus , dividing a narrow strip that is the bridge to the unconscious. Here is described much of the conditioning that has occurred in childhood, that is brought into the relationship. We may beleive in intimate relationships that there is each one of us, but in fact there are a lot of other involved! Mother, father, teacher priest, siblings, friends and ancestors all share the common bond. We inherit our parents psychology and they join us in bed with our partners! We are shaped in childhood and adolescence by social and environmental philosophies and paradigms and bring them to the relationship. like dowries of old.!
These are the planets tell us something of what the couple's mutual directions, ethics and social expectations might be and the natal chart will tell us how those matters have been shaped. Are they at odd with each other? What are their social, economic and ethnic, religious and philosophical backgrounds? The interaction with inner conscious planets will indicate some of the social matters that arise. Differences as well as similarities will show up. It is as well to begin by looking at the balance between each person's 'section' for if there are more contacts in one section than the other, then there could be difficulties. If the 'tone' of the aspects are difficult, then the issues that arise come from conditioned factors harking back to learned behaviours. For example, these two planets, especially in contact with the other's Moon will indicate a lot about family and hierarchical expectations. Saturn might express the limiting or restricting factors while Jupiter might express the joyful , expansive and encouraging facets of conscious relationship. Similarly, Saturn offers secure boundaries in which the relationship can thrive and Jupiter might exaggerate and amplify facets of individual issues out of proportion. Mother-in-law looms large ! One way or another a balanced number of 'hits' are going to offer opportunity for growth and direction. This applies not only within the relationship but also in the way in which it operates within society, families, the tribe, the general social environment, educationally and sociologically. It gets the relationship out into the wider community and establishes it within the framework of contemporary society as it is experienced in the environment in which we live. Saturn can bring real structure to the aims and goals of the relationship, if the persons are aware and often they are not. Saturn can be comfortable in its sameness and provide genuine security. Jupiter can instil a sense of growth and expansion and provide enthusiasm for goals and expectations.

The way that an individual handles society, education, religion, hierarchical structures are all operating on a semi-conscious level. They are just below the surface and they can cause friction. This can occur if the balance between the two sections is out of kilter. Individual aspects might emerge as issues and points of agreement or contention, but if the energy exchange is lopsided, there is already a potential issue. as one philosophy overcomes the other and quite often the resolution is found in family attitudes. If the balance is reasonably even, then the potentials for harmony in all matters social, moral and hierarchical are good. If not, social expectations, religion, ethics and morality, family and in-laws, jobs and education all might create challenges and bring 'outsiders' into the picture. The attitude towards relationship or marriage stems from social and imprinted family conditioning and arises here. There are 24 possible connections between Jupiter Saturn and the Inner planets but most important is that there is a reasonable numeric balance.

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto
Outer planets in connection with the other person's Inner planets create exchanges that can have very significant meaning in the relationship. These are the contacts that push the buttons of awareness in another. Its as though one person's unconscious become manifest in the others consciousness and so this is where projection takes place. Manipulation, undermining, disruption and distortion are all negative possibilities that can and will arise to some degree. So can transformation, inspiration, unconditional love, idealism, and clarity. Much will depend on the quality of the aspects. There must be a good balance between one person's 25 square 'outer to inner' and the other person's square. One reflects the other. This is where the unconscious levels of the relationship can become loaded and you might get a 'perpetrator - victim' syndrome - and the power of the victim can be as great as that of the perpetrator!
These are powerful contacts linking the unconscious of one to the consciousness of another, so that what emerges as issues can be both empowering as well as destructive. We cannot lay blame on the person who's Pluto hits another person's Sun because we cannot be entirely sure that the other does not need to have the Pluto connection in order to feel alive and vital. If we do so, we are falling into the trap of assuming that Pluto is a 'bad' energy and Sun is a 'good' one. They are in fact different faces of the self. The Sun consciousness of one may need to 'borrow' that powerful energy from the unconscious of the other. It is only through negative issues that arise that we can even begin to understand how the connection is 'working'. What we do know is that somewhere in the relationship, one person 'draws out' the other person's unconscious energies. How they manifestly 'use them' is a matter for conjecture.

Outer planets to Outer planets.
This section is 'generational' so represents collective phase energies within the society and time that the relationship is taking place, care should be taken with this area. No personal planets are involved so it is 'descriptive' rather than dynamic. Of course people born close in age are going to get conjunctions between Uranus Neptune and Pluto and I suggest that you look very carefully at these and also look at the collective conditions prevailing at the time in history when these people were born. I used to disallow them, but have subsequently revised my opinion of theor effectiveness. They do indeed have great power. Everyone born carries some of the collective energy. This is expressed historically by the trends of the time when the people were born. This constellates in the psyches of the individuals who now bring those energies jointly to the relationship. They are "flag bearers' for their peer group, so the interaction between outer planets and outer planets is important. Outer to outer indicate a sort of spiritual quality to the relationship but also connect to life phases or generational qualities that are deeply embedded and may mean little to the social paradigms of the present day.
There are common patterns shown in the birth charts as reflections of collective patterns. For example during the 1960's the planets Uranus and Pluto were in conjunction. The planets Saturn and Chiron opposed them. for some. Both partners may carry these energies which can be extremely destructive in many respects and highly challenging in others. The principles of the planets will play out in some way in the relationship and, at this part of the grid are descriptive of collective undertones. Consultant astrologers are familiar with the syndrome of similar clients, by age and dilemma. "All my friends relationships are breaking up. What is wrong with mine". In essence the fulfilment of collective urges rests on those born at the time and there is a problem in relationships when those collective models are stimulated. It's happening all around and can be very influential on individuals. There is a knee jerk reaction as the tribal nature of the experiences of the collective impinge on the psychic structures of individuals - and often the solution can be found in the contacts made 'across the bridge' of Jupiter and Saturn and the philosophies of peers.

The Angles
The 'entry' point to relationship is the angles - for better or worse. A luminary conjunct an angle is a great meeting point, especially in a growth sense. We are all insecure in different ways about persona, coping mechanisms, so if someone comes along who's very vital life energy blends with our approach to life, there has to be a whack of energy. These angles of each natal chart form the structural realities of relationship and of course, involve not only intimate partners but the parental axis that is brough to that relationship too. And, if the relationship under examination is a partent child relationship, the angles will also be important. It is easy to divide this area into small sections, those that connect angles to luminaries; angles to personal planets; angles to social planets; angles to outer planets and angles to angles . This can be divided to suit your personal preference, so as to incorporate the little subsections in the rest of the grid. I find it important to have contacts here. Angles to Luminaries in particular. Again I'd hope for a balance between the two sections - because the Angles relate so much to the manifestation of the relationship in reality. By this I mean the individual's perception of reality, through the Asc. which expresses the way they approach life and their coping mechanisms, persona and goals in life at a very personal level. So we are relating the Synastry to the houses in a sense, but those houses are the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th house experiences. If a person has a high expectation of life - many planets in angular houses, strong personal goals via the 1st house, they might seek someone in life, whom, they sense instinctively , can help them achieve those goals. Conversely, if the relationship experience for one individual is frustrated by the life expectation of another, there is a further tension to contend with.


The Node
North Node and the axis formed with the South Node say something about the individual soul's journey. Metaphorically, I have my personal 'dragon' fight and so does my 'other' . If our journeys coincide, then there is a strong link. Spiritually, we are connecting somewhere in the search for our personal 'grail' - on the same journey, at least part of the way or our journeys take us so that we connect to learn something from each other. Maybe, if you subscribe to the theory that Nodes reflect past lives, there's a past life lesson to be learned. The nodal contacts do not have to illustrate permanence - they may be going in different directions but paths cross. The relationship dynamic is where they play out or pay for this link ? It's a philosophical point and astrologers should define the node in their own way.


Chiron
The meaning embedded in the planetoid Chiron is dual - the wounded healer and the great teacher, so these expressions enter relationship together with all the other archetypes. When we perceive Chiron as the wounded, we have come to understand the 'wounding' is actuated in childhood and resonates to themes of abandonment and 'not fitting in' at some level of experience. So it may be that connections remind the individual of these unconscious themes in his life, either positively, or negatively. The relationship can become the vehicle of healing or that of further wounding, because where there is the wounded, is also the capacity to wound. It is worth looking carefully at this when a grid implies the possibility of toxicity in the relationship because it may be through the psychic connections with Chiron that actual physical illness can arise out of the psychosomatic dynamics of the relationship. Similarly the theme of teacher arises and for every teacher and his assumed wisdom there has to be a student and assumed ignorance. Once more, the marriage may be a life lesson - it may be one where one partner assumes the role of teacher and the exchange is blocked by feelings of inadequacy in another. the two facets of Chiron are inextricably interwoven - the healer/teacher archetype teaches because of his woundedness yet can be wounded because of his ignorance. The interface of these energies is subtle because they come from a dark place - childhood, the unconscious, so there is a risk of psychological 'scapegoating' embedded in these contacts. If abandonment themes are not addressed or dealt with individually, they are projected into the relationship, and either healed or projected onto the partner as surrogate 'perpetrator' - so there is a strong potential here for revenge, for continued fear of and experiences of abandonment. At the same time, there is powerful psychic healing and empowerment. The wisdom and healing energies mutually shared can create an environment whereby each empowers and heals the other or they become co-dependents. There can be a perpetual re-enacting of the initial pain that created the wounded psyche. This is where one seeks out the others weak spots as well as their strengths. In part 3 of this series I will examine specific aspects in Synastry.

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Peri
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posted October 11, 2009 08:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
Having defines the gestalt of the relationship the next approach to the grid is to determine the "flavour" or "tone" of the relationship. The grid could be likened to a piece of music, there are all the notes in the individual spaces, but without the timing, the "signature", or the instruments, how does the music sound? Is it played staccato, allegro or con spirito - is it a solo piece or an orchestral crescendo, what are the harmonies and melody, and where are the elements of surprise and delight?

To determine the 'flavour' of the relationship, count the number of 'hits' according to the aspect. This will often show a predominant aspect, underpinned by a second type of aspect. In might also show that one type of aspect is very low in number. Or not represented at all. At the risk of oversimplifying, this gives an immediate "feel" for the relationship and the experiential fields where particular aspects manifest as dominant. For example one might find the 'personal' area well aspected with trines and sextiles, while unconsciously there are a lot of squares and oppositions. On the surface the relationship might be pleasant and outwardly harmonious but it is fraught with projected tensions and challenges at an unconscious level, suppressed until triggered.

By looking at the grid in this way, a distinct bias according to the dominant aspect will show. This is descriptive of the whole relationship. The second predominant aspect can often be in contrast to the primary aspect. The predominant "theme" running through the relationship is a strong indicator of how the individuals experience the relationship. One should examine this carefully in order to be fully understand the qualities and dynamics that are inherent in the relationship, no matter how it is expressed to you or to the outside world.

And, it goes without saying that not everyone looks for the same qualities in a relationship. So the Natal Chart will always be the point of departure into relationships.

A lot of conjunctions
There is osmosis in this relationship and you often see this in people who grow old together and start to look alike, talk alike and in many ways are the same. They will have a tendency to identify each other by roles. In some respects this can be an ideal but can also become a bit predatory or co-dependant. With this tonal quality, there is both positive and negative. Conjunctions are the foundations of the chart. It's where people agree, where there are few disputes and hence compatibility that is a true melding of energies. This represents a solid foundation that provides a base for lasting interface. So if there are plenty conjunctions, there is commonalty and communion. But too many, sets the relationship in concrete to the point where is becomes static and lacking in energy. An osmotic relationship is fraught with the danger that one of the partners can, by the strength of personality, entirely swamp the other. The risk of domination is high particularly where one person's outer planets are conjunct the others personal planets. The unfortunate side of this kind of relationship is that an issue might arise that can smash the concrete to pieces as transits trigger response mechanisms in individual natal charts and the stress is a projectile - straight into the sacred space of union.


Plenty Oppositions:
Generally speaking in today's Western marital climate, individual roles are clarified as equal. Oppositions can be very useful in illustrating distinctly individual positions in he equality. They point out potential differences that might be challenging but are aspects that lead to ways to 'meet in the middle'. However, if there are too many oppositions, individuals don't come together often enough to sustain the relationship! Positively, each identifies themselves within the relationship as separate entities. Sometimes this kind of opposition based relationship can create conflicting or challenging conditions, but it is a dynamic form of energy and one from which 'give and take' emerges as a positive outcome. Partners either agree to differ or find some measure of compromise. When oppositions are triggered by transits to one or both charts, the 'issue' that arises can often be clear-cut. Oppositions enable the individuals to respect and recognise their differences and when issues arise they will often draw together and rise to the challenge united or polarises to one point of view. With oppositions, they challenge each other to grow. And personal growth can sometimes be at the expense of the marriage, but if it is bonded with supportive aspects such as trines or sextiles, loving and liking and respect underpin it. Oppositions are not rigid, they allow for a zapping back and forth of energy, and at times there needs to be a haven for tranquillity and restoration of energy.


Many Squares
Squares can be very energising but also very difficult in relationships because with the square there's often no solution or resolution to tensions. There seems to be a need to prove something all the time in a square relationship. This can be a crisis-ridden relationship but with each crisis there is opportunity for growth. But, growth can be blocked when every time one partner seeks confirmation in the mirror of the other they meet a brick wall or they meet with some shadow energy that reflects the un-owned negative qualities of the partner. The lack of give and take when the square predominates can be very wearing. Too many squares will take a toll somewhere; there's only so much stress a person can take! Wherever you have a square you have a potential issue that has to be integrated into the framework of the life of the relationship so that it becomes an active part of the whole. Positively this can create a great dynamic with potential for motivation and acceptance of the other's qualities, but if there are too many, it becomes burdensome. If you've ever watched a bricklayer building a house, he fills his hod with only as many bricks as he can comfortably carry. That way he is productive and the building grow. Squares are like bricks. They build walls but also create safe boundaries. Too many and they either crash down and kill an innocent passer by or they cripple the craftsman! Relationships need a few brick walls to climb in order to test the validity of the relationship. It's often through a certain level of healthy stress that we can achieve and there is potential for achievement with a good balance of squares.


Mainly Trines
Like the grand trine, there is promise of great talent and creativity but most often it is not accessed unless it's part of a kite or gets a good kick along with a square or two. It's the same with a Trine flavoured relationship. It can be very bland. It may be lovely and light-hearted and frivolous but without issues, without passion, there is no richness. There is often a sense of one partner accumulating; staying put in life while the other becomes the social activist. In this way, they never fully interface but so tolerate each other's activities. With this relationship there's an easy, friendship based relationship, an easy come- easy- go" kind of experience with nothing to really come to grips with. A lot of trines in marriage can imply that they fell in love with an inner image of the perfect partner, - romantic Neptunian stuff. It is quite possible that they drift out of love but since they are quite comfortable, they accept the status quo. A few squares and oppositions are needed to make it more dynamic. The comfort zone in the relationship is where the trines are - here the whole relationship can become so complacent, too much comfort, fat and lazy, unmotivated. Where there are trines is where the solace is but there's silence in too many trines. Trines are a release mechanism; there is no resistance. When the trines support hard aspects in a secondary position, they are light and comforting and healing. Even when they predominate, provided there are some good solid 'hard' aspects, to motivate, trines are beneficial. Such relationships often do well in a social or material way so are reflected in a life of material comfort and social ease.


Several Sextiles
When the grid shows a predominant number of sextiles, you have a grid that vibrates to a 6th 'harmonic'. The 6th harmonic relates to the idea of 'helping' - it occurs in a child's sixth year, when those little people first begin to want to assist in chores, and be rewarded by a parent. The seeds of relationship are set at this time. Someone who seeks out a sextile kind of energy is often seeking confirmation from the 'inner parent' about his or her usefulness. A predominance of sextiles, is probably the least harmful, it tells you the relationship 'works' because each aids the other and also rewards the other. It may not be 'passionate' but there is an innate acceptance of the others 'flaws' and a capacity to work in tandem, with roles not always defined but shared. The sextile brings a practical and balanced attitude, a realistic ease, because there is an understanding of and an awareness of tension, and a constructive, creative energy that pre-empts and often turns tensions to good effect. They are not the most exciting aspects but liking and respect come with this aspect. It enables one to live in the real world in which the other also lives. It implies that any difficulties find a working solution, a compromise and that there is a 'support' framework in place. The negative face of the sextile is that compromise can also mean one becomes subservient to the other, self effacing and taking too passive a stance. So there is also the risk of one becoming martyred to the cause of the other - until some transit comes along that triggers a rebellion! Even so, there can be a resolution.


The "Minor" Aspects
Fortunately you're unlikely to find predominance because of the orb used for the so-called "Minor" aspects.
The Semisquare implies discontent.

It can illustrate a lack of trust in the relationship. There is an unwillingness to go all the way to a full blown aspects, and irritation and conflict is rarely addressed, but they seem to get half way but then back off. When semi-squares are triggered, old habits and irritations loom large and take on ridiculous proportions. What might seem a cute little habit when you are in the glister of first love becomes the straw that can break the camels back in 20 year's time and the issues just simmer along until a transit triggers them. Apparently 'good' relationship can then break under the strain of what might seem to others a trivial issue.

The Sesquisquare implies ongoing but unrecognised irritants.

This is a bit like the semi square except there might be a bit more chance of facing it. Indeed it is faced so many times as a dynamic in the relationship that it eventually becomes a reliable source of conflict in what might otherwise be a dull existence. It takes irritation and makes it full blown frustration. It can however, lead to confronting and issue at least, usually after a long period. But residual animosity tends to remain.

The Quincunx is a very difficult aspect.

There are charts where this takes dominance and they are toxic relationships. Generally said to be the areas where adjustments have to be made, if one has to adjust to the point of losing focus then it is a sinister aspect. The Quincunx "swings" between a trine and opposition. There is a constant shifting of energy that can be wearing. This aspect is the stuff of the victim / perpetrator and one hopes not to find it except in small numbers. Too many and the chances of the relationship being healthy are remote. It occurs commonly in charts where one partner is alcoholic, sick, or escapes responsibility through infidelity or illness and the other takes the strain. The quincunx erodes the relationship. It is like standing talking to someone and they don't make eye contact, their eyes flick from left to right but never directly at you, you're not even sure they are listening and then you start to feel uneasy, edgy and uptight. If you've experienced that you understand how disconcerting it can be. Well, imagine that as a constant dynamic in a relationship, an uneasy, fearful feeling. It's enough to erode any relationship. It's almost like developing an allergy to each other, and can in fact give real physical symptoms. Hypochondria is part of this dynamic, the ultimate cop out, the 'escape into sickness' syndrome and you wonder who is the perpetrator and who is the victim. You never really know except that someone is carrying the load. Adjustment implies change and too many adjustments imply complete change. A few quincunxes might be fruitful for individual personal change to accommodate the needs of another, but too many are too demanding.

The Quintile is the creative, willing risk taking, playful and joyful dimension of the relationship.

If you find these there is joy to be found in the relationship. It might be through children, through work or just simply enjoyment of each other and a common involvement with arts, music etc. These people are prepared to take a few chances, and will tend to lay it all on the line to each other so there is indwelling honesty. This is where the love affair can continue into old age. It is a solar kind of energy and if it's between personal planets, they each shine and bask in each other's glow. It occurs in partnerships in artistic fields. Individually they may be mediocre but together they're dynamite. They bounce off each other, feed each other, inspire and resonate off each other. The vibration is wonderful. It brings the facet of playfulness to the relationship, a childlike quality that means there is an area, which is fun. So, of the minor aspects you can't do better than a quintile. It's the Best Friend energy that can keep a relationship alive and vital. But it goes a little further because it empowers the individuals to be creative and fruitful within the relationship.

The Septile carries both spiritual overtones and shadow undertones.

A few septiles imply spiritual bonding. There is rapport at a mental level; one intuits the thoughts of the other. There is a psychic link, a reading of minds and uniting of thoughts that is almost telepathic. However, if there's too much mental or psychic linking it can become intrusive. One might not want the other to tune in to their thoughts! Too many septiles can intrude in a sinister way and creates an environment whereby shadows come out to play.

The Novile implies the search for perfection.

It illustrates what one might expect or hope for in the relationship and may or may not find. Noviles in a Synastry highlight areas where there is a possibility of 'trap setting' dynamics because of preconditioned expectations. Like the Septile it operates like an unconscious harmonic vibration and may well have a lot to do with childhood expectations. You fall in love with an idea(l). Archetype meets archetype - the handsome prince and princess swoon! Then reality strikes and in reality things are not as expected. It can be wonderful when someone measures up to the ideal and creates an exchange whereby there is a sense of dreams coming true. But this aspect can also promote an environment of testing and trap setting. Too many of these and partners are constantly setting the other up for failure. Even when they pass a test, there's another around the corner!

In a general sense, the main aspects plus a few of the main 'minor' one should give a chart with enough space for energy to move. When you use the Synastry grid, it doesn't need to be picked to pieces and examined through specific individual aspects unless there is an issue. Many of these issues will arise through contacts by transit or progression to one of the partner's natal planets and constellate and emerge, through the dynamics of the energy contacts in the relationship. The overview, the individual natal charts, and aspects involved in the 'hot spot' that is focussed by transits and progressions give a clear picture of issues and enable creative dialogue and hopefully, resolution.

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DD
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posted October 11, 2009 08:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you for posting this, Peri!

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