posted October 25, 2009 11:48 AM
I have experienced this in synastry and will paste an excerpt from Jane's (Eve's) answer on another post because I think it's the most accurate interp involving both signs. I have this trine and this def holds true...
"I was thinking about how I'd said that the Venus people in this cnj with me have been dishonest. And then a line from U2 popped into my head...
You lied to me, 'cause I asked you to.
Their lies were just them playing along with what I needed. I think Venus wants to get a hit of the dopamine Neptune gives them. So like any drug addict, they will play along with any rules Neptune sets up in order to keep getting a fix. And with Neptune, the rules are often about keeping something unclear.
With my high school boyfriend, I didn't want him to know the parts of my life that were painful. Not only did I not open up verbally, I kept him separate from my family, even secret from them for the first year of our relationship. He acted like he was ok with all this. Then in the fight that ended our relationship he yelled at me, finally letting out his conclusions about what my secrecy had meant. His interpretation was wrong, but true to Neptune, I didn't set him straight. Lies were on both sides, but I was the one who wanted an illusion -- that there was no pain tearing me apart -- and I made him play along with the rules I'd set up to keep that illusion intact.
Second person I had this with was a close friend of mine. For almost 9 years he pretended to be ok with being only friends. Not until the convo where he "dumped" me, did he tell me he wanted more. But there had been hints, and I'd had intuitions...I consciously ignored all of them, because I wanted him as my friend. I didn't want to lose him. So even though he hadn't been honest about his feelings, he did it because I was sending the signals that his honest feelings and our relationship couldn't coexist. I preferred pretending his deeper feelings didn't exist over having a head-on collision with the guilt I felt for denying him the type of relationship he wanted. (Learning to disappoint people in all sorts of ways has been a theme in my life. I've gotten quite good at it! )
Now I have this with another male friend. (This one's not into girls, so experience number 2 has no chance of a repeat! ) The problem this time is I feel guilty that I can't give him all that he needs. He suffers from depression, it waxes and wanes. When it's been a while since we've last spent time together, he communicates to me a greater level of depression, the opposite when we do spend time together. For example, the last time we hung out he told me that he'd been in a real low period the past few days but, "I woke up today and smiled, and kept telling myself all morning, 'I'm seeing Eve today!'" Sweet, absolutely. But it implies that he doesn't look forward to his day on the days we don't see one another. That makes me feel pressured to give him more time, and guilty that I don't. He knows some wonderful people, but he sometimes makes comments that paint me as the exclusive source of happiness in his life. I'm uncomfortable with that role, even resent it. We discussed this and he said that he doesn't expect me to make him all better, just that he enjoys the time we spend together. But idk. I have a bad feeling about it.
All that said, Venus-Neptune cnj's are also amazing. So much love and compassion."