posted October 27, 2009 08:22 PM
today i feel a little better.but, the last 2 weeks, particularly the last 8ish days i think, have just been so.. i can't describe it.
i feel like iv just been in my 'shell'
not wanting to see anyone
not wanting to do anything
just been 'reflecting' on everything.
its not been 'positive' though, its been very like, negative, boarding depression perhaps.
been insecure about life, like.. how im gonna achieve my own life goals, questioning my 'plans' on achieving them, (are they the right thing? is it the right way to go about achieving the desired success to live the dream i want to make a reality?)
then there just has been other things that have got me down, all of this started since i was ill with like bug/cold/flu, what ever it is, i was ill indoors for about a week.
and since i got better i have just drifted further into this state of feeling sad/down near depressed.
its made me probably miss out on this job i wanted to go apply for, it was a real opportunity, the manager asked me to come in and see them. i should've but i didn't, i haven't, iv been an idiot, and im kicking my self. i have probably lost that job opportunity now. all because i just felt like, i didn't want to be out, didn't want to do Anything, not even laziness, i just did not want to do Anything.
if it was laziness, i'd just watch more Films, or play some games, or something indoors.
but i haven't, iv just sat around, laid down, and been 'thinking' reflecting on all this stuff, including my love life!
today i also just seemed to have been dwelling on everything that has gone wrong in my life, or the 'failures' rather than successes, or i fail to see them.
just everything overall has been feeling pretty 'negative'.
i still feel like im in my 'shell' at the moment.
maybe its to do with t. sun being in my 4th house, and t.mars being in my 12th. all my fire/ego planets apart from jupiter is in them water /personal houses.
i think saturn on my venus probably has played a part.
thanks for all the replies,
make what you want of my answer, but thats just how iv been.
do you see it in the transits? or have i answered my self.