posted December 06, 2009 11:53 AM         

The Shadow in Synastry: The Roving “I”

I thought, after swimming in the waters of concept and symbol, we might like to get back to some hardcore astrology today. Back to dry land.

There has been a great deal talked about the ’shadow’ element in astrology. We usually associate the ’shadow’ with the Descendant. Traditionally, if the Ascendant is the “I, me” of consciousness–what I am, how I define myself– the Descendant represents that which (we feel) is not within us, or ‘other.’ In synastry, the Descendant symbolizes what we are attracted to–something or someone who feels instinctively to be a part of us, but who represents qualities we cannot (or are not yet ready to) own. When the Descendant is prominently involved in a synastry, there is always a feeling of re-discovering something long lost, or of having a deep hunger satisfied (for a time, anyway).

Too often, synastry students ignore the Descendant and it’s ruler in chart interpretation. Actually, ALL of the angles are crucial in synastry, but we will come back to that another day. For now, it’s vital to understand that each arm of the axis needs to be considered as a whole–to quote the old song, you can’t have one without the other. The Ascendant/Descendant form one arm, MC/IC the other. The Asc/Dsc is the gateway to the 1st and 7th houses, and has a natural Aries/Libra affiliation. Traditional astrology is very keen on angle, angle ruler contacts between charts, but we will see here that there are some problematic sides to strong angle contacts in synastry. Strong angle contacts are very immediate and are keenly felt, but they can also tip the balance inherent in the angle.

I think most people would agree with the observation that, the more self-aware we are, the more we understand what we need and want out of a partnership. The Ascendant/Descendant axis has a great deal to do with our self-understanding. Without a good handle on this axis and the way its rulers operate in a chart, a discussion of relationship is pretty much limited to Sun-Mars, Moon-Venus.

The Ascendant does function as an identity center, a mask or container which encompasses the rest of the chart energies. It is the “I” that experiences. It’s our public face, the one we put on when we want to tell someone ‘this is who I am,’ particularly when we are younger. A young Libra rising may be perfectly happy with being ‘the pretty one’ or ‘the nice one,’ whereas the young Scorpio rising feels himself to be dark and mysterious and longs to be seen as such. Young Leo rising may see himself as an artist/actor/creator, or just long to be leader of the pack. Once we move on a bit from identifying with the Moon, which we do in childhood, the Ascendant is the natural place to go, the qualities more easily accessible to the consciousness than those of the too-bright Sun. But a funny thing happens to the angles. Like the planets, they progress…

A birth angle is a fixed point in time, but the chart moves on. And so does our understanding of ourselves.

The Ascendant’s affinity with Aries is often misunderstood. On the surface, Aries is about “I, me.” But the motivation behind the “I” orientation is this: far from being selfish or self-centered, Aries knows it is destined for a journey, the very journey of life, and nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to get in its way. Like a racehorse born to run, Aries sets off towards whatever instinct is strongest, meets up with experience, absorbs it, and moves on to the next. The movement is what matters, not the result, or even the understanding. Aries energy leaves the results for other signs to pick up, analyze, and make something with.

Essentially, the Ascendant is “I”, but it isn’t a fixed “I”, it is an I that is in the process of becoming. It takes in experience, makes it conscious, and moves on. In the process, it begins to define itself, but it keeps moving. It is ever restless, never ‘done.’ Our Ascendant often describes our restlessness, the thing we keep doing and the way we keep doing it. Virgo rising never stops analyzing. Gemini rising never stops making connections. We can’t stop, because it would feel like death.

Now, the difficulty of the ’shadow’ appears in relationships because as the “I” evolves, so does the “not I.” If we’re lucky, if we are aware, our (usually painful) experiences of ‘other’ will allow us to claim some of that “not I” as our own. It, too, will never be finished, will always be elusive, and somewhat out of our grasp. (I sometimes think that, without the evolving Descendant, we would reach a point where we stop falling in love.) We may also better understand what of the “not I” is a real and present need, and what is based on a wishful fantasy of who we were/are/are not. Without a mature take on this angle, we may avoid an equal and adult partnership, preferring to fall back into earlier need patterns. The Descendant is an area where we would rather let someone else do the work for us–instead of embracing the qualities of our Descendant, we ‘marry’ them, thus attempting to fulfill our mission by proxy. We often project the qualities of our Descendant onto our partners–and they can be qualities that the partner doesn’t actually possess. We bypass the real work of partnership. What does my partner bring out in me? What do we really need to learn from another? Am I seeing my partner for who he/she is, or am I constructing a persona for them out of my own desires? Do I really want the same things now that I wanted ten years ago? Do the people I choose as partners reflect these new needs? The needs represented by the Descendant are deeply ingrained in us, but they can also be an outgrown habit. The Descendant shows where we can be mindless repeat offenders in relationship blindness. The Shadow can become the place where we just never ‘get it,’ we never learn.

The tightrope walk between Ascendant and Descendant can be tricky. Ascendant/Descendant contacts are powerful. When this angle is touched by another person’s planet, we can feel as though we are finally ‘found’; this person understands us and appreciates us for who we are. He/she seems to see the deepest part of the inner me, the ideal partner. Alas, this is also the area where we have blind spots, and where we assume too much. Inevitably, hidden and unconscious, yet-to-be-developed areas of the Asc/Desc axis come to light through the relationship. When there are planet/angle contacts it feels like “fate,” but there is also a tidal pull towards what may be difficult (and rarely, but occasionally, dangerous) psychological waters. We may or may not be prepared to navigate them, with the current partner or any other. Lack of development or lack of balance of the Ascendant/Descendant often contributes greatly to continuing relationship difficulties. An over-emphasis on one or the other end of the axis, either natally or via synastry, is certain to rock the relationship boat.

A crucial element of examining relationship is to look at the progressed angles. They will tell you a great deal about the current state of affairs. Depending on what method you use to progress the chart, the angle moves at roughly one degree per year. Look to see if the progressed angle has recently changed signs–there will be a huge shift in perceived identity and relationship needs, and it’s often a rocky patch when one half of a couple goes through this phase. Also, look for progressed angles conjuncting progressed planets, because the need to embody that planet will be powerful. Transits of the outer planets to progressed angles will also be deeply felt. Pluto often awakens primal dissatisfaction and the need to be reborn in some way, often through sex. Neptune may not only awaken longing, but also be accompanied by other-worldly experiences which change one’s perception of one’s self and one’s place in the scheme of things. Uranus will often spark a surprising about face, or engender the need to ‘cut and run.’ It doesn’t matter which end of the angle is affected, though sometimes contact with the Descendant will bring the experience through a partner (i.e., Uranus conjunct Desc, my partner leaves me). In this case the partner is acting out the client’s unspoken need.

Combining basic relationship needs, as indicated in the natal charts, with currently emphasized needs will give a more accurate picture of the client’s relationship sensibility right now. For example, you might believe that you’re dealing with an earthy Capricorn Mars, but if that Mars has progressed into Aquarius, and furthermore is conjunct the progressed Descendant, he may be wanting to throw that ambitious earth energy to the wind, leave his steady Cancer girlfriend and go looking for partners who represent the free-wheeling and freedom-loving Aquarian archetype. He will find himself, perhaps to his own distress and surprise, attracted to women who love him and leave him, which will cause him to examine his own innate desires for solidity and security. Or he may fall for an intellectual, who will teach him that there is more to life than the goals he sets for himself. The years where Mars is conjunct the Descendant within one degree will be the crucial ones for change, but the Capricorn Mars will continue to have Aquarian experiences that help it expand its understanding of it’s own motives. The natal chart energy is the base we return to after our explorations in understanding, but progressions tell us what qualities we need to develop to move on and mature.

Examining the angles and the position of their rulers will give us a great amount of further detail regarding relationship behaviour. The positioning of the ruler gives us another layer of meaning. A person with the Descendant ruler in the first house will identify themselves as a partner, and be more partner-oriented than one with the Ascendant ruler in the 1st house, which is more independent. The Descendant ruler in the second house may give us someone who values partnership above all, or may depend on the partner for a sense of being valued. A person with the Descendant ruler in the eighth house may be attracted to partners who are overtly sexual, or who will provide the kind of intense, Plutonian, turn your soul inside out relationship experience. For further information, look where the eighth house ruler is placed. If it is conjunct an angle, it will show the area where that kind of transformative experience is sought: if conjunct the Descendant, a sexual partnership is crucial, no matter what else the chart says. If conjunct the 10th, the transformative experiences will be found through work; if the IC, the home and family. If the Ascendant, that person may constantly invent crises where they can reinvent themselves. Because we are dealing with the ruler of the 8th, all of these crises may be triggered by intense partnerships of all kinds.

In synastry, there are many elements to consider, but it’s good to remember that the angles are extremely alive and act as gateways to our sense of identity. They are highly sensitive points where experience is made conscious and available for our growth. A full picture of relationship orientation cannot be made without them.

I normally don’t do these ‘cookbook’ type lists, but here are some observations gleaned from almost 20 years of doing synastries. These are common problems. The list is certainly not comprehensive. Many other issues can arise.

Some relationship challenges and blind spots for the signs on the Asc/Desc axis:

Aries Asc/Libra Desc: So busy moving forward that relationship needs are not acknowledged, leading to neglect. Looking for the sweetest or most complacent partner, only to discover that kitty has claws. Attracted to what society finds most appealing, only to realize that it isn’t what was really wanted or needed. Not realizing that compromise and give and take in relationship can be rewarding. Not acknowledging own need for down time/peace and quiet. Must learn: how to involve the partner. Unacknowledged need: to connect and include. Unacknowledged behaviour: seeking approval.

Taurus Asc/Scorpio Dsc: Trying to keep the partner under lock and key, then shocked when deceived. Not acknowledging the powerful regenerative forces in sexual relationships, leading to complacency. Becoming lost in sensuality for its own sake, not acknowledging the deep psychological forces at work. Trying to keep everything contained, until its too late. Must learn: fearlessness, and to trust the eternal rebirth of life energy. Unacknowledged need: for powerful, transformative experience. Unacknowledged behaviour: destructive and self-destructive tendencies.

Gemini Asc/Sag Dsc: Attracted to instinctive partners who do their own thing, without bothering to discover own wisdom. Following because it’s easier. Not acknowledging desires to feel free and unfettered, to explore and understand. Keeping busy to avoid committing. Need to develop instinct. Needs to appreciate nature and the natural order of the world. Must learn: the validity of belief. Unacknowledged need: to discover and follow own truth; to have a purpose. Unacknowledged behaviour: compromising the truth; unwilling to complete anything.

Cancer Asc/Capricorn Dsc: Attracted to competent, stable, capable, ‘take charge’ or Sugar Daddy/Momma types. Letting others call the shots, without acknowledging one’s own relationship needs. Partnership for status or security. Providing the nurturing in relationship, while partner provides the material needs. Treating partner like a child. Must learn: how to initiate and work towards goals. Unacknowledged need: to become one’s own master, to take responsibility for one’s self. Unacknowledged behavior: need to control partner; manipulation for gain.

Leo Asc/Aquarius Dsc: Tendency to choose younger or more easily led partners who suddenly rebel/leave. Need for equality in relationship. Need to learn detachment, friendship, that partner is a person in and of themselves and not a reflection of one’s own ego needs. Need to be open and honest with partners, to be real, and not to play a role. Balance heart and head. Must learn: detachment and discrimination in choosing partners (need more than desire to form a lasting relationship); to step out of the limelight for the greater good of the relationship. Unacknowledged need: to let go of relationship ‘drama’. Unacknowledged behaviour: love ‘em and leave ‘em; self-absorption.

Virgo Asc/Pisces Dsc: Attracted to the artistic, weak, mystical, religious, poetic or wounded. Falling in love with the elusive or unattainable. Longing for ‘perfect’ love. Relationships can create crises of consciousness through mystical experiences—entire world view can change. Making sacrifices, giving up too much for partnership. Must learn: to compromise; nothing is perfect. Unacknowledged need: to inspire and be inspired, to be connected to something greater. Unacknowledged behaviour: refusal to be pinned down, or known deeply; desire to hide from the world; inability to commit to creating something concrete; valuing dreams above reality.

Libra Asc/Aries Dsc: Attracted to self-starters, people who ‘know where they’re going.” Bend over backwards so far their feet leave the ground. Can be afraid to be alone—identity comes from being part of a couple. Too many compromises lead to lack of self-knowledge—particularly regarding partnership. Unacknowledged aggression, passive aggressive behaviors. “If I’m nice enough, everyone will love me.” Must learn: to speak up for one’s self, and honestly. Unacknowledged need: to act for one’s self, to feel legitimate with one’s own plan and motives. Unacknowledged behaviour: willfulness, selfishness.

Scorpio Asc/Taurus Dsc: Attracted to constant, stable, ‘earthy’ types. Can overdo sensuality. Unacknowledged positioning for power in relationship. Controlling behaviour. Keeping secrets from partner. Intractable. Refusal to compromise. Must learn: to relax and enjoy what is for it’s own sake. Unacknowledged need: to gather and build. Unacknowledged behaviour: Fear of letting go.

Sag Asc/Gemini Dsc: Attracted to movers and shakers, people with connections, information gatherers, people who communicate easily. Need for freedom can become excessive. Roving loner can end up partner-less. Can use search for inner ‘truth’ as a mask for not committing. Inability to follow through. Unacknowledged need: to be informed, to connect with others. Must learn: to communicate what’s important. Unacknowledged behaviour: superficiality, restlessness, lack of commitment.

Capricorn Asc/Cancer Dsc: Can be obsessed with following own goals, ambition. Attracted to nurturing, very emotional or child-like types. May be too attached to the ‘mother’ archetype. Avoidance of intimacy. Letting partner provide all the emotional support for the relationship. Must learn: how to nurture, particularly the partner’s goals and needs. Unacknowledged need: to take good care of one’s self. Unacknowledged behaviour: clinging, secrecy, emotional manipulation.

Aquarius Asc/Leo Dsc: Attracted to creative, dynamic partners. Partners must be ‘the best’ at whatever they do. Lets partners play out the drama of relationship, while Aquarius plays the ‘logical’ one. Must learn: to express feeling, allowing the heart to lead. Unacknowledged need: to stand out in a crowd. Unacknowledged behaviour: rigidity, ordering partners to live life according to own ideals; elitism.

Pisces Asc/Virgo Dsc: Attracted to grounded, ‘reasonable’ types who are reliable. Wanting things for the greater good, but not willing to do the work. Continually changing courses, abandoning one path for another. Dependent on partner to take care of the ‘boring’ details. Needs to learn to turn inspiration into something concrete, to experience completion. Must learn: discrimination in all things; to make choices based on what’s real while retaining inspiration. Unacknowledged need: to be good at something, to contribute something concrete. Unacknowledged behaviour: Inability to choose, helplessness, dithering, feeling nothing is worthwhile.

http://alcuin9.wordpress.com/2009/08/20/the-shadow-in-synastry-the-roving-i-part-1/