posted December 15, 2009 05:42 PM         

my libra rising, first house libra venus guy is driving me insane. he's heavily scorpio too; sun exactly conj pluto in scorp, conjunct SN, plus mercury conj saturn also in scorp. we've been together 11 months, minus three months when the only intimacy we shared was cuddling for several hours once a week or so. he'd broken up with me because he wasn't sure what he felt or wanted, even though the first while we were together he felt we were right for one another and we had really great times. well for the last several months we've been very intimate and over the last few months it's been building back up again.. and he slowly came around to revealing feelings for me and seeming very sure about how he felt, and our connection has been mindblowing most of these last few months, though it's wavered due to my not really being sure what he felt and therefore not being able to relax completely, etc. but anyhow, he basically told me somewhat indirectly, but quite assuredly that he feels strongly for me and wants to be with me. this was a month and a half ago. he left for a trip for a month and the whole time kept writing about how much he missed me and when he got back he was *extremely* into me again.

then i got pms and started feeling freaked out and insecure and wanted some words and we had a couple of conversations. one in which he backtracked and kept saying that he wasn't sure and denied he'd even revealed any strong feelings!! then when i finally got the wherewithal (after being stunned for a few hours listening, disbelieving) i confronted him angrily and basically told me he couldn't deny what he'd said and meant. after which he told me he wish i'd stop letting him fck me around and told me to forget everything he'd just said (all the denials) and that things would go back to how they were when he was very into me.

at which point i concluded that it's my freaking insecurity in the way and that it's somehow the combo of libra and scorp in him that is deeply (yet benignly or helpfully? devil's advocate-like) manipulative and that his libra basically has no choice but to respond in any given moment to accommodate what is presented.

so things got back to us being close but then last night i brought some stuff up and i was too scared to talk about it and he was getting really nervous cuz i couldn't bring myself to talk so i felt pressured to tell him cuz it was upsetting him. it was stuff that was inherently about us and our togetherness and so when i finally did that set him off into another episode of denial, confusion, vacillation, and he basically told me that sometimes he feels so good with me, sometimes he doesn't, and sometimes he doesn't know, and that it's not fair to me and that maybe we shouldn't be together because of this. I AM BEING DRIVEN BANANAS BY THIS MAN!! when we are close, it is insane how connected we are, and i know he feels it too!

i guess my question is, can a strongly influened libra ever really decide/know ANYTHING??? is this the issue here? this man has a stellar sense of integrity and is an all around kind, considerate and head-on-straight guy, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt me. i think his issue NOW is that he doesn't want to hurt me with all his vacillation, yet i really don't mind in the context of knowing and understanding him; that is the bottom line for me. but on the other hand i'm starting to get really ****** off.. which actually feels liberating (sun is on my AC today, maybe that's why). so yeah that's my ramblyly arrived at question. oh and his moon (aries) is in the 7th. doesn't help i suppose.

posted December 15, 2009 09:59 PM         

You may think Libras are pleasers or pushovers but our decisions are ours. He needs all the time in the world to decide.

posted December 15, 2009 11:01 PM         

I had been dating a scorpio guy for 2yr 7mos, and he has 4 planets in Libra.

He would change his mind like that during the same WEEK!!!

We went to a party one night, and I simply asked (wanting to know where I stood) "is this a date, or are we just hanging out?" and he got visibly irritated and clammed up for like an hour, after he growled, "I don't KNOW, why does it have to be this thing or that thing, why cant it just be!"

But in moments of lucidity, he confessed that he doesn't know either. He says if I am confused, times that by infinity and that is what he goes through on a daily basis. So, it is what it is. If you can live with it, and you are a very secure person with your own life and friends and stuff, you may be perfect for him.

I needed too much reassurance. Like maybe ONCE a month, I know how obnoxious am I?

posted December 16, 2009 05:36 PM         

i guess my issue is in trying to understand how it goes from harmonization to accommodation to just plain lying. and then there's the whole libra/7th house projection issue. it's all so mindboggling.

i didn't overthink it today (quite the feat for an aqua!) but i do feel i've come to an understanding about how to deal with this situation constructively. as it happens my sun/moon midpoint conjuncts his DC in aries, so really i've decided i just need to focus on my own darn self and stop exacerbating his (and my) confusion with my constant quest to understand.

gypsee.. hee hee, you're big time sag like me right?? i think the scorp being in semi-sextile to sag resists and yet is drawn to the enthusiastic thrust of sag to understand things and lay everything out on the table. it makes for quite the dyanamic. and folding libra into the mix, well now that is some pressure on these folks who generally tend to attune themselves to others, while sag energy just bounces perpetually forward! the problem may be that this enthusiasm is also focused on getting into the heads of others, so for someone who vacillates frequently, it can't be easy to handle. then there's the scoprionic secrecy to factor in. your story made me laugh.. thanks for the commiseration and i'm glad you got a great friend out of the deal!

rajin, that guy sounds just plain immature. and obviously if he's not returning her stuff, part of him is holding on to her.

behold astarte, yeah i do think the vacillation is slowly working itself into decisiveness, and i can see that being the case. certainly the appeasement or avoidance of conflict is part of the issue cuz if another doesn't know where they stand and what the libran wants, it only perpetuates an unreality. conflict is good and necessary because it gives us an opportunity to move through it and learn something new.