Author
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Topic: Having trouble letting go...
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seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 08:47 AM
Hi all Another thread on here about Venus in Scorpio got me thinking about my own inability to 'let go' and to let go of this connection in particular (placements posted below.) I'm just beginning to wonder if I'm right to let go yet, necessarily?? There are other people involved so that was the main reason I've taken a step back from it all (which I still believe is the right thing to do ultimately,) however we have a pretty strong connection to each other and I just get the feeling there's something to work out or pay back?? It's always been tinged with a certain degree of negativity and it puzzles me. Probably just that old Scorpio Venus hanging on where it should just wave bye bye but once you have an itch it's difficult not to scratch! ;DMany thanks for any insights x Me Sun Libra 11°33'36 in house 4 direct Moon Capricorn 17°04'29 in house 6 direct Mercury Scorpio 2°56'06 end of house 4 direct Venus Scorpio 24°59'57 in house 5 direct Mars Taurus 7°37'09 in house 11 retrograde Jupiter Aquarius 2°21'25 in house 7 direct Saturn Cancer 4°36'51 in house 12 direct Uranus Libra 22°40'51 in house 4 direct Neptune Sagittarius 5°18'32 in house 5 direct Pluto Libra 4°34'06 in house 4 direct True Node Capricorn 2°19'47 in house 6 retrograde Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.
House positions (Placidus)Ascendant Cancer 23°00'30 2nd House Leo 9°01'44 3rd House Leo 28°32'46 Imum Coeli Virgo 25°12'59 5th House Scorpio 3°11'15 6th House Sagittarius 17°43'19 Descendant Capricorn 23°00'30 8th House Aquarius 9°01'44 9th House Aquarius 28°32'46 Medium Coeli Pisces 25°12'59 11th House Taurus 3°11'15 12th House Gemini 17°43'19 Him Sun Capricorn 14°45'40 in house 4 direct Moon Pisces 5°59'42 in house 5 direct Mercury Aquarius 3°53'41 in house 4 direct Venus Sagittarius 5°21'58 in house 3 direct Mars Gemini 16°12'43 in house 9 retrograde Jupiter Aries 15°55'56 in house 7 direct Saturn Leo 0°41'03 in house 10 retrograde Uranus Scorpio 6°33'07 in house 2 direct Neptune Sagittarius 12°41'42 in house 3 direct Pluto Libra 11°41'22 in house 1 direct True Node Scorpio 20°06'38 in house 2 retrograde House positions (Placidus)Ascendant Libra 2°57'27 2nd House Libra 27°12'39 3rd House Scorpio 27°36'48 Imum Coeli Capricorn 3°50'35 5th House Aquarius 9°40'01 6th House Pisces 9°24'40 Descendant Aries 2°57'27 8th House Aries 27°12'39 9th House Taurus 27°36'48 Medium Coeli Cancer 3°50'35 11th House Leo 9°40'01 12th House Virgo 9°24'40 IP: Logged |
stopandstare Knowflake Posts: 199 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 10:47 AM
seeker, i think perhaps a synastry chart would be easier to explain the connection?i'm sorry i can't add anything just based on what you've posted. i'm not strong enough in this arena to make any comments. but i do see that you have mars in taurus and i have that as well. it makes one not give up and have patience to see things through to the end. that probably exacerbates or encourages your venus in scorpio to hang on. the way i feel about hanging on or not letting to is...it's okay to feel this way. but if circumstances mean in reality you can't be with this person...at least acknowledge that and don't do anything about it. but it's fair to feel pain and sadness about it. i'm sorry you're going through this. i hope you come to a good compromise in this situation. IP: Logged |
meta_4 Knowflake Posts: 540 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 11:41 AM
Seeker,If you post your chart through astro.com and photobucket.com on here i'll be able to help you more. IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 11:44 AM
Thanks every so much stopandstare that makes a great deal of sense. Yep Mars in Taurus combined with Venus in Scorpio makes for the type of stubborn streak that would put an Ox to shame... which also just happens to be my Chinese sign so I'm stuffed really aren't I?! Thanks again for your help xx IP: Logged |
Predominantlyfire Knowflake Posts: 46 From: Isle of Wight, U.K Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 02:17 PM
Yeah alot of fixed energy ploughed into romance seeker. I see your Venus is 1 degree short of my Mars which is pleasing. I like the quality of 'difficulty letting go' because it means you are more than skin deep in relationships. Nothing to be ashamed of. But then i would say that because i'm similar with certain females. Not all of them. Venus in a Fire sign can be quite licentious, but overall i'm 100% not a player. My emotions are heartfelt, and i'm a person of high conviction. ------------------ neutralcruiser@hotmail.co.uk IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 02:52 PM
Crikey PF (hope you don't mind the abbreviation) that was verging on complimentary! And me with a Cap Moon too! Yep I'm always very much 'more than skin deep' in relationships and you're right it's nothing to be ashamed of. It just hurts very keenly when things don't go quite according to the romantic plan! But then it's pointless trying to save yourself from hurt I always think - feel what you feel and try your best not to hurt others, that's my motto. Where is your Venus then? If I had to lay money on it I'd say Sagittarius. Nice to hear you're not a player and have high convictions... what do you do with them whilst you're 'nailing' us poor unsuspecting Lib Sun/Cap Moon/Venus Scorp types then? ;D Sorry... couldn't resist x IP: Logged |
Predominantlyfire Knowflake Posts: 46 From: Isle of Wight, U.K Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 03:02 PM
quote: Yep I'm always very much 'more than skin deep' in relationships and you're right it's nothing to be ashamed of. It just hurts very keenly when things don't go quite according to the romantic plan! But then it's pointless trying to save yourself from hurt I always think - feel what you feel and try your best not to hurt others, that's my motto.
Couldn't have put it better myself. quote: Where is your Venus then? If I had to lay money on it I'd say Sagittarius. Nice to hear you're not a player and have high convictions... what do you do with them whilst you're 'nailing' us poor unsuspecting Lib Sun/Cap Moon/Venus Scorp types then? ;D Sorry... couldn't resist x
19 degrees Sagittarius. That nailing thing is just my insecurity played out as an assertive strike on the opposition and was said in jest really. I'd never refer to a girl i'd fallen for in such crude terms. It simply makes me feel better to have slept with someone because at least i 'got that far' you know what i mean. Moreover i'm always keen to exrpess myself physically as it may be a way of getting someone to like me, and make up for other short-comings i have. I feel in more control physically, than i do emotionally and socially and in terms of my family background, so i put alot of emphasis on intimacy because i'm basically quite in need of closeness, and have enough friends that i don't just need a girlfriend for a plutonic style relationship as Venus in Gemini would have it. I feel i have alot to offer some people, and not alot to offer to others. It's all about compatability, and making the most of what you've got. But sex will always be important, and important early on, to someone with Mars in Scorpio in the 5th house. I fall in love quickly and easily with certain women, and just don't get 'open relationships' unless it's mutual - which it seldom is.------------------ neutralcruiser@hotmail.co.uk IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 03:50 PM
Well firstly I admire your honesty Totally agree about compatability and making the most of what you've got - couldn't have put that better. What short comings do you feel you have? That's extremely nosey of me on a public forum so please feel free to tell me to mind my own if you'd rather not go into it but since you've opened up and have been kind enough to make constructive comments to me I'd like to return the favour if I can - and I mean that absolutely genuinely; no sarcasm Either way it's worth remembering that what you might see as a short-coming, someone else might find charming, endearing, interesting, energising etc etc, so never say never. I do certainly understand the need for closeness - it's why I behave the way I do in relationships so I understand that 100%. Speaking from my own personal experience, I've found that a solely physical connection with someone without the added layer of emotional connection is far too cold for me. How does it work out for you? If you feel confident physically then it's only natural you look to play to your strengths and make that side of a relationship the focus initially, but when you say you want closeness I get the impression you need a little more than a roll in the hay to hit the spot? I know some people can detach from emotion and just enjoy the experience for what it is and sometimes I really wish I could do that but I always seem to leap in with both feet because I still have that nagging belief somewhere at the back of my heart that it can be the whole package of physical and emotional nirvana. You are more than welcome to laugh at my naive romanticism! ;D
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seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 03:55 PM
Sorry - my browser's playing up and it hadn't shown your updated post. Yep can totally identify again re importance of sex and falling quick and not understanding open relationships. I'm all for live and let live but to me that's just plain greed!
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Predominantlyfire Knowflake Posts: 46 From: Isle of Wight, U.K Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 04:07 PM
My short-comings are i'm not that succesful vocation wise because as mad as it sounds was manipulated and bullied by my father into not doing well at school which my natural high intellect and enquiring mind would have otherwise achieved if left alone. He achieved this by breaking my will and making me ill i s'pose. I used to beg for him to leave me alone. My family life is a disaster. Mother was an alcoholic and is now very ill indeed and went from an events manager at a Yacht Haven to a person on disabilty benefits. My father was very abusive and wrecked my childhood. My main weakness is i try to keep prospective partners away from my family because they embarrass me. And spend alot of time at their families houses, but not mine. Most girls probably think that's wierd and it perhaps detracts from the feeling of security they need that i'm such an 'island'. I went to a private school and have therefore grown up knowing alot of much more privelaged people than me. This makes me feel inferior compared to most of them who had very easy lives mapped out for them. Check the position of my Saturn out. It says it all. My father has Saturn conjunct Pluto conjunct his Ascendent Leo, and Sun conjunct Mars in Capricorn opposition the Moon in Cancer. He is a fairly psychotic and has a strong hold on his public image that belies what he was and is like behind closed doors. He watches TV all day for like 12-15 hours and has no interest in friends, or interests. I have diagnosed him as having Schizoid Personality Disorder [URL=http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&ct=res&cd=1&ved=0CAcQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSchizoid_personality_disorder&ei=a5EuS9SxMtCu4Qb7_YWqCA&usg=AF QjCNH]http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&ct=res&cd=1&ved=0CAcQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FSchizoid_personality_disorder&ei=a5EuS9SxMtCu4Qb7_YWqCA&usg=A FQjCNH[/URL] V58T19gmqCagata8lW2pGYfivLg I do have a degree in Psychology, which i think i subconciously did because i wanted to know what was wrong with him and why he was like that to me. I look ok, and have only had really nice girlfriends but can't get it past the point where others natural flow to because of these 'hurdles'. I have never lowered my standards. Because i don't see why i should.------------------ neutralcruiser@hotmail.co.uk IP: Logged |
BeholdAstarte Knowflake Posts: 21 From: las vegas, nevada, USA Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 04:09 PM
i like trying to relate to other libras in scorpio! i have a taurus rising and virgo moon with virgo/libra cusp merc and scorpio venus with mars in libra. my venus is conjunct pluto too so i think that intensifies that venus scoprio even more. o yeah and its in the 7th house conjunct the descendent. ups in downs in relationships has been a problem my whole life. i have a really hard time letting go too. especially when the relationship is coming towards an end.. its so hard to just leave and forget and not care. becuase its like once it actually happens and ou can see your losing them for good and everything you once had is all gone.. its like i want to just hold on to them and never let them go ya know? even if all the events that led up to it was abusive and horrible its just actually letting go thats the hardest part. soo wierd. IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 04:57 PM
Ok Adam (if I may call you that) I owe you first an apology for stinging you on your thread with my Mercury in Scorpio, and second a bloody great hug! Now don’t argue or wriggle/struggle like men usually do because clearly you’ve had a rotten time of it and you deserve/need one... but then with a Cancer Asc I should imagine you won’t make a fuss when offered a hug because you’ll instinctively know how important they are. Ready? Assume the position! XxRight... that’s done (practical Cappy moon lol?) so we can get down to the nitty gritty. No double entendre intended, although with that kind of Venus/Mars conjunction I’m sure sparks would fly, but we shan’t go there cos there’s stuff here to sort. First of all, yes, it’s clear you’ve been hurt and somewhat mistreated by both parents and I can understand that you might feel reluctant to bring someone new that you care about into contact with people who you feel the need to distance yourself from because of the hurt caused. However once you meet someone who you fall in love with and who is in love with you, you won’t have anything to fear from introducing her to your parents. Explain as honestly as you have here and I can’t see that anyone would feel anything but compassion and understanding, and that only makes 2 people closer. Now to the issue of your school friends having had more opportunities etc. What makes you imagine that you should feel inferior to them merely because of their family bank balance? Your life experience and courage in the face of adversity more than makes you a match for most and it’s how you treat people in life that measures your worth hun, not what you do for a living or who you know, where you holiday, how much money there is in your account. As long as you don’t allow yourself to treat people the way your father treated you in the past then you are one of the biggest winners in life because you’ve played the game and won – you’ve not allowed your circumstances or your experiences to minimise you or make you bitter/mean. I like nice people and I don’t like nasty people. Childishly simple isn’t it? I don’t care where they’re from or what they have or have not, as long as they’re warm, friendly, loving, giving, fun, compassionate, sensitive, loyal, honest and caring they’re alright in my book. So far, you’ve been honest, friendly and have shown sensitivity and caring so you’re certainly turning out to be a worthwhile human being as far as I’m concerned... just ignore what I said on the other thread! I don’t think there’s any need to lower your standards... just maybe loosen the reins on your soul a little??? It seems like you’re boxing up and shutting away the parts of you that a prospective partner might just find the most attractive in a funny kind of way... most of us, no matter what astrological placements we have, love to be needed. If you don’t show your vulnerability and allow the person you fall in love with access to all areas of you (including your parents,) then you might be closing off the very parts of you that make that give that person a way in to be truly close to you. To be introduced to your parents is a psychological thing for a prospective partner and by denying it, it’s possible they feel you don’t feel they could be ‘the one.’ Letting them in to that extent might make them feel as if they can help you to move past all that, and I wonder if that could be the dam you need to break to let things flow more easily?? Just some thoughts. xx
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meta_4 Knowflake Posts: 540 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 04:58 PM
PredominantlyFire,You have Chiron in the 10th house-- this would explain the pain and suffering you've had to endure concerning your career. You have Jupiter in the 9th (its natural house) which would bless you with wonderful education, a surplus of intellect and probably a fascination with philosophy, religion and foreign places/people. With Jupiter in Pisces maybe the foreign people or places are related to art or mysticism someway? Sincerely interesting chart placements. I cannot imagine what Saturn conjunct Cancer ASC would feel like. Very vulnerable, i would think. But then again, all of these things i'm telling you i'm sure you already know. Oh, and very interesting insight on Mars in Scorpio, by the way. IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 04:58 PM
BeholdAstarte that's possibly the best I've ever heard Venus in Scorpio described!!! Totally got it in one IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 06:23 PM
meta you must think I'm so rude!! I've only just seen your earlier post! Thank you so much for offering to take a look and any insight you have would be much appreciated x IP: Logged |
stopandstare Knowflake Posts: 199 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted December 20, 2009 08:58 PM
seeker: i hope things work out okay for you, i really do. i understand the pain of wanting to hang on. not just for the sake of hanging on but feeling and knowing deep down that you gotta hold on because that person is special and what you both have is special. someone has to recognize that and hold on. at least for now. but yeah...i once again go with the compromise in that it is okay to have these feelings. but if you know that it's all truly in vain to hold on...as long as you just hold the feelings in your heart then it's fair. i'm similar to you in that i'm mars in taurus. i don't let go or give up but only IF i feel with all in me that what i'm holding onto is special. i don't hold on for the sake of holding on. i can easily detach and say bye. but if someone got to me deep down, yeah i ain't letting go but if they let me go then i let them, but they will always be in my heart. as stupid as that sounds. predominantlyfyre: i know everyone has family secrets or things about their background they're embarrassed by. it may not be that extreme, but everyone's embarrassed by something or got something to be embarrassed about. the key here is you know someone is right for you if they don't hold it against you and accept you the way that you are regardless of the embarrassing things. i have a friend who keeps her boyfriend away from her family and only spends time with him and his family. almost like erasing her own family to go join in with his family. i don't find her family embarrassing but she apparently does. IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 24 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted December 21, 2009 05:30 AM
Thank you stopandstare - wise words xxxIP: Logged |