posted December 28, 2009 08:29 PM         

I was hoping to get some feedback on a relationship matter for a friend of mine, whom I consider a soul sister.

She and her live-in boyfriend have been together for 5.5 years & have known each other for 7 years. They have a small child. She is on the verge of leaving him--they are having a lot of financial problems right now, he is unemployed, and she has been very unhappy in the relationship for at least the last 6 months. She does not feel respected by him based on some things that he's being doing (staying out late, drinking a lot, spending recklessly, etc.) At one point we thought he might be unfaithful but now she no longer thinks that is the case.

She is very overwhelmed and is at a turning point of deciding whether the relationship is worth salvaging at this point. To end it would require a lot of sacrifices on her part and introduce a lot of drama into her life (custody battles, etc.) but she is willing to leave if that's the best decision. She still loves him very much but is at her rope's end. She has had several talks with him about their relationship and he always appears responsive, but then goes right back to the same behaviors.

She knows about the site here and is asking me to post her info so she can get some feedback.

Here is their synastry (she's inside):

And here's the composite:

posted December 29, 2009 05:56 PM         

Just some shortly sketched ideas concerning current TRANSITS and how they touch their charts:

SHE has tr. JUPITER & NEPTUNE opposing her natal Venus - Jupiter always aggrandizes (makes everything "bigger", sometimes to the detriment of a matter), Neptune provokes illusions of both kinds, negative and positive - and both, Jup. & Nep. sneak through her late 12th house currently ... house of "hidden agenda", but also (hidden or not fully/consciously developed) hopes, fears, talents etc.

For HIM, Jupiter & Neptune are playing around with his Eros ... AND: Jup & Nep hang around their respective ASC/DSCs - a time for re-evaluation maybe? How far have their respective ideals of a "perfect partner" been realized? These matters may come to the fore now - maybe both of them craving for more "romance" in their lives (?)

Tr. SATURN, the disciplinator, is still (almost) opposing Tr. URANUS, the revolutionary - and closely linked to that fierce cosmic opposition is HER conjunction of Mars-Union in her 8th - she's a fighter, not a lover . She seems to have strong principles in love - and (hopefully) a sound sense of self-worth in relationships. She seeks out a total merging and is applying lots of energy in order to save her "unions" - or, maybe, to rid herself of these. And now imagine: All this energy bound to that difficult "Stop-and-go"-pairing of tr. Saturn (eraly Libra) opposing tr. Uranus (late Pisces). For HIM, tr. Sat & tr. Ur. hang around his NN in his 2nd house of self-worth - his NN conjunct her Mars ...

This doesn't suggest a solution of course. It's just some observations that maybe explain some of their feelings ...

posted December 29, 2009 11:24 PM         

quote:

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SHE has tr. JUPITER & NEPTUNE opposing her natal Venus - Jupiter always aggrandizes (makes everything "bigger", sometimes to the detriment of a matter), Neptune provokes illusions of both kinds, negative and positive

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That makes a lot of sense. So you're saying the Jupiter transit could be making these matters seem more life/death than they are? Or is Jupiter magnifying the illusions? She is hard on him and I've noticed she blows some things about their relationship out of proportion...not all the time, because sometimes he's totally in the wrong, but sometimes so is she. And of course, the heart of the matter is whether the relationship is what she wants it to be or if she's deceiving herself about their future together.

quote:

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Jup. & Nep. sneak through her late 12th house currently ... house of "hidden agenda", but also (hidden or not fully/consciously developed) hopes, fears, talents etc.

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Makes sense again...lots of questions about what is really going on between them, but I know she doesn't want to give up on it...she has a lot of hopes for their future but also fears.

quote:

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For HIM, Jupiter & Neptune are playing around with his Eros...AND: Jup & Nep hang around their respective ASC/DSCs - a time for re-evaluation maybe? How far have their respective ideals of a "perfect partner" been realized?

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Big (Jupiter) illusions/dreams (Neptune) in romance (Eros)? Is that right? Interesting the Jupiter/Neptune transit is hitting his ASC/her DSC...is it that the reassessment is very much related to his personal identity/himSELF while for her it's more related to her needs from a PARTNER?

quote:

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She's a fighter, not a lover. She seems to have strong principles in love - and (hopefully) a sound sense of self-worth in relationships. She seeks out a total merging and is applying lots of energy in order to save her "unions" - or, maybe, to rid herself of these.

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That was a very accurate assessment, and she's definitely in "save" mode right now. But...if she decides to leave she will be definitely be able to flip the switch and put all her energy into cutting ties.

quote:

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And now imagine: All this energy bound to that difficult "Stop-and-go"-pairing of tr. Saturn (eraly Libra) opposing tr. Uranus (late Pisces). For HIM, tr. Sat & tr. Ur. hang around his NN in his 2nd house of self-worth - his NN conjunct her Mars...

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Hmmm. No wonder she feels conflicted. And again, based on what you're saying, I'm seeing a lot of emphasis on SELF for him...which is not necessarily a bad thing but I wonder if he's actually been wondering about the future (North Node) of their relationship as much if not more than she has and feeling restricted (Saturn) by her energy (Mars)? That would be interesting (and explain a lot), but probably not a good sign if that uncertainty results in him acting out the way he has been.

quote:

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Oh, and transiting URANUS is also opposing their Composite-Venus, while tr. SATURN has just passed their Venus. Saturn (conjunct their Compo-Venus) might have called for a realistic perspective, taking off the rose coloured glasses ... and now Uranus asks for change, in a more or less disturbing way (opposition)

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Oy. That's a difficult set of transits. So the relationship (Venus) feels restricting, teaching, reassessed (Saturn), while change, revolution, and chaos (Uranus) are in opposition to their love (Venus)? Ouch!

Thanks Alvarella...that was very helpful in explaining the actual dynamics and what's causing this rift.

posted December 30, 2009 02:58 AM         

Alvarella has outline all the transit reasons
very accurately.

There is a basic reason as well.

Both of them have Sun square Moon in the same signs. Their inner conflicts have projected on each other and magnified over the years, the lovey-dovey synastry masking them. The damage is nearly irreparable now because of his addiction to alcohol. Things will change for the better should he detox and become a teetotaler.