posted January 06, 2010 02:24 AM         

That being said, I'm not one to shun debates, so I don't mind other Mercury placements.. It's just that in close-personal relationships, I would prefer to be of "the same mind".

Amowls and Katatonic,

You both had a Mercury2Mercury conjunction which didn't work very well. This got me thinking about the "conjunction" as an aspect. Sometimes astrologers are undecided as to whether a conjunction should fall on the "easy" side or the "challenging" side of the aspect board.

I could see a conjunction turning into a negative aspect, depending on the signs involved and whether the two people display too many of the same positives & negatives. Maybe I should stick to trines & sextiles (Close ones! You mentioned the trine w. your sister Katatonic, but you said this was wide)..
I guess the conjunction could be either easy or challenging - depending on what you do with it.

I have the conjunction in Pisces with my best friend. We've known each other for a decade and conversations always flow smoothly.

Katatonic -

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but lara's parents are notable in that they point to the fact that not everybody needs to be able to "discuss" with their SO on a mental level.
So my suggestion would be that SOME people need mental compatability where others do NOT.

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That's true. I can see that. I mentioned that I could picture a relationship working well sans Mercury.. IF there are no seriously challenging aspects. So if the synastry is generally easy-going, there won't be a huge need for Mercury. I guess people need mental compatibility and an ability to talk things over - primarily when - they are having problems..

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moon and sun contacts can override difficult mercury pictures.

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To this I'd say.. Yes - Sun/Moon positives can probably override difficult Mercury aspects.. However Sun/Moon difficulties (and other problems in the synastry) cannot be easily overridden in the absence of Mercury aspects.

posted January 06, 2010 02:30 AM         

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but mercury doesnt decide if one person is a a* hole or not.

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True!

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im sure a survey showing two people working well together when it comes to solving problems (relationships or not) will NOT alwyas have a mercury-mercury aspect.

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hmmm I think this ^ could fall under my two categories above:

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This kind of relationship CAN work - if:

a) There are no seriously frightening - "challenging" aspects.. in the synastry (ie Venus square Pluto double whammy)

or..

b) Their free will is strong enough to overcome all obstacles including the lack of communication *plus* all other challenges.

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So – if these two people have a majority of easy and smooth aspects, they won't necessarily need the Mercury connection to coexist or work-well together.

However, if the two people have a majority of squares, oppositions and generally a difficult synastry - Mercury becomes indispensable, in my opinion.

But there is always the possibility that two people have a grand-cross in synastry and other challenges, plus, no mercury aspects – and THEY still make things work. It's possible through sheer free will. It would simply be more difficult for them.

I guess the idea that some synastry *works* - whilst other synastry does not work.. is based on the assumption that people would throw in the towel when things get very difficult.

Obviously this is not always the case ^

posted January 06, 2010 02:34 AM         

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my AC ruler is mercury and my SO's sun's ruler is mercury... we talk about everything, have the most intensely deep and interesting conversations and yet our mercury's don't make any aspect at all lol

How can that be?

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When you guys had a problem or an argument.. was it quickly and easily sorted out?

PA -

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My ideas are **** ? Could be. But any synastry aside, here's one sure point - he's a man - so ply him with food, alcohol if necessary, give him a good **** and you'll get a yes to anything you want.
Oh - did I say that!!!

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LoL PA
So you understand his emotions, that makes for an interesting mix.. Mercury is very mental and the Moon is very emotional. Perhaps the way in which this would *differ* if you had Mercury2Mercury, would be that you could instantly discuss and sort things out - rather than you waiting for a while.. and then bringing up the subject again etc.

DD & Node -

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So I think that it may be worse to have NO Mercurial aspects at all than having some challenging ones. At least these people talk to each other.

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I would think this might be beneficial in an academic scenario [squares / opp ]...or a mentor situation, a person who challenges, but ultimately leads you to a better understanding of beliefs? Clears your thought processes?

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posted January 06, 2010 07:29 AM         

Do you mean aspect between merk to merk? DW? I can't say I believe that must be important.

The couple can have good communikation with merk aspect to other placement.

One friend to me have his merk square my merk/uran/pluto

his merk trine my SUN/ASC
his merk opp my moon
his own merk trine his moon
his moon sext my moon
his moon trine my sun/asc

We can talk about everything and nothing. I think our merk square merk /uran/pluto are a big trigger in our communication and friendship.

He are my best friend and we say we are each others psychoterapeut

posted January 06, 2010 12:46 PM         

*my Merc conj his Asc
*my Merc trine his Jupiter
*my Merc trine his N. Node
*His Merc sextile my venus
*His Merc sextil my Asc
*my Merc sq his Saturn
*his Merc sq my Neptune

posted January 06, 2010 03:21 PM         

It won't necessarily end a relationship but a Mercury-Mercury square is such a difficult aspect to handle. You can't change how you communicate overnight and it takes alot of self-awareness to even know what aspects of you communication you need to change.

At least with emotional intense aspects like venus square Pluto, with positive Mercury-Mercury aspects, you can talk about it, and even resolve things.

posted January 06, 2010 11:33 PM         

Now, as far as people that I know that I have positive Mercury aspects with, we get along just fine! Matter of fact, when my wife and I were split up for a while, I was interested in a woman whom really, our only positive aspect in orb was a 0˚ trine between my Gemini Mercury and her Libra Mercury. Talking to her was just intoxicating and she physically was not my type! The ease of conversation with her coupled with other positive personality traits in her, I became really attracted to her.

Almost ALL my best friends have tight positive Mercury to Mercury aspects with me. So I absolutely think that positive Mercury aspects are important in my relationships. Libra, Gem, Aqua, and Leo Mercurys always do it for me. Aries to a certain extent because of the impatience.

I actually made a thread a while ago about your Sun ruler possibly being one of the most important planets for a person in synastry. Like for a Capricorn, it would be Saturn, for a Libra, it would be Venus, etc.

posted January 06, 2010 11:47 PM         

ohhhhh and your AC is exact trine my sun LOL lol

Not sure your chiron bang on my sun is good though *sigh*

posted January 07, 2010 01:12 AM         

In fact i have decorated my bedroom walls with it. I had all my sheets and pillowcases embroidered with the initials "GG"

LMAO

Now where the **** have you been? I've been waiting on this thread for hours ready to pounce on you!

Signed,
your rubber-clad stalker

posted January 07, 2010 01:24 AM         

Thanks for your story GotGem! I think it goes to show that ultimately a relationship's survival is based on the ability to exercise "free will" - hence you & your wife are still together, despite the problems.

Our synastry is.. hmmmm.. how should I put it? I.N.S.A.N.E lol
Two grand trines and a Grand-Cross - lovely! Well at least things wouldn't get boring lol

But I've always enjoyed your posts!! You probably wouldn't remember me - ex nick: CoralFrequency

posted January 07, 2010 08:06 AM         

Then she went outside and rebuilt my transmission on my car, she got out the tar machine and fixed my roof. All this while she had me handcuffed to a chair in my home. I had to get a restraining order on her. I mean, I care about her but cmon, nothing is gonna keep us apart Lara. I just, I just, I..., I just wub u soooo much!

posted January 07, 2010 02:54 PM         

i think mercury aspects in the composite can provide the same results here as a natal mercury-mercury aspect.

especially if there is no difficult mercury aspects in the synastry.

i looked at one composite i have with somebody who i share very good and easy understanding with (even if we do not agree or have differing opinions, we always are able to understand eachother very well without argument)

we have mercury conjunct sun in the composite, and mercury in the 5th. the astro descriptions are quite accurate.

posted January 07, 2010 03:47 PM         

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the final draft I sent to you was reduced to 38 pages becuz I got rid of 24 pages of me saying I love you repeatedly, I thought 5 pages of me doing that would suffice

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posted January 07, 2010 04:05 PM         

For synastry, I've experienced Mercury-Mercury, and it does have a different feel from Mercury-otherpersonalplanet/angle. It's so easy to understand and feel understood intellectually.

All of the people I'm very close to have either:
~Mercury in a feminine sign like me
~Or Mercury tightly aspecting my masculine placed planets, like my Sun, Moon, and Pluto.

I've personally enjoyed Mercury contacts with other parts of my chart/their charts just as much, if not more than Mercury-Mercury.

For example, one of my best friends who is like a mind twin to me has her Mercury cnj my Asc. What makes this such a powerful placement for communication for me is that natally I have Mercury in my first house, in the same sign as my Asc. So the way she triggers me to communicate is the way I really am. If my Mercury were in my 6th house in a sign incompatible with my Asc sign, i think her Mercury on my Asc would challenge me to express myself in a way that doesn't come naturally to me.

I really love Mercury-Moon aspects. I'm seeing this in many of the charts I'm looking at.

Mercury makes it so easy to communicate the other part being touched. So I completely agree with you that Mercury-Mercury makes general communication easy, but I like when it touches the Moon because then it makes emotional bonding easy and inherent in communication.

I don't mind hard aspects to my Mercury. I seem to enjoy it, probably b/c my own Mercury is cnj Uranus and square my Moon. I like it when someone puts their Mercury opp mine (in Taurus; I have this with my SO), or opp my Moon (in Aqua, that makes it cnj my Pallas and Psyche, trine my Pluto, and sextile my Neptune). The t-square, in these cases, feels far more stimulating than it does challenging.