posted January 07, 2010 11:32 AM         

Thank you for your kind words. They are appreciated more then you know. Right now, I am surrounded by the type of people who tell me to "grin and bear it." "we all have aches and pains, just deal." You know? These people probably do have aches and pains, and no doubt they do grin and bear it, but I must wonder, do they have the SAME aches and pains, and how could they possibly know, or judge the extent of mine? It can be soul crushing. My family of origin was not like this, they were compassionate people. Unfortunately they are mostly departed, and so, for the last 20 some years I have had only my estranged husbands family as my family. They have treated my illness with disbelief and distain. Lupus doesn't exist because you can't "see" it. They have told my children "Your Mother isn't sick, it's all in her head, and she is just lazy." If I miss a simple baby shower, or random get together, because I am too sick to go, I am then ignored and invisible until I have made some sort of penance. This is why I need to get away from these people.

I have another friend with Fibromyalgia, and she is so bad off right now, she walks with a cane. This was a woman very high up in the civilian ranks of the Air Force. She had to give up her job, she just couldn't do it. But my in-laws claim she is just "lazy" and now she is deemed a "drug addict" because they have her on muscle relaxers, which is one of the current treatments for Fibro.

I hope what you said about our generation helping to shed light on illness and find cures is true, it would be worth it to me, to suffer something not really "accepted" as an illness if in the future it was, and people who had it were not acused of just faking for attention. That infuriates me, believe me, if I wanted attention, there are many, many other ways I would go about it.

And sorry about your adhesions. They hurt badly. I know. I wish and hope for you a future free of this and any other lingering issues. Everyone deserves to be free of physical pain eventually.

posted January 07, 2010 12:48 PM         

"but if I were to run to the doctor every time I didn't feel well, I feel as though I wouldn't be taken seriously."
I know what you mean. I actually have a slight tendency to being a hypochondric (ruler of 6th house in 1st house may contribute to this; I am observing my physical disbalances all the time, and whenever I feel a disbalance, I tend to exaggerate and think I must have the most deadly sicknesses. I never have headaches, usually I think they are braintumours or strokes. But I am working on this).
I don`t go too often to the doctor though, cause I feel embarassed when they find nothing.
Usually I am going there, when the anxiety gets too much, and I need this release. I guess it also has to do with me needing to KNOW everything, at all times.

"I feel like the 12th house has affected me by making my issues hard to define."
Yes, that is very Neptunian or 12th house. Veiling the issues. Making them hard to grasp, pin down and define. Practically the opposite of Saturn and 10th house, where things materialise pretty clearly.

" I don't know how in the world to control that one!"
It`s hard, but maybe you need to see yourself as independent of them? That doesn`t mean you shouldn`t love them, but you are not responsible for their perception of the world, and you have a right to have your own, own thoughts, own life.
That is SOO important for anyone, but especially for someone with Aries ASC. You need to be able to say: That is ME, and I have a right to be mySELF, even if mommy does not approve.

Of course I do not know if that is the case.

"(working on that now, by trying to get out of this marriage, one way or another)"
What do you mean with one way or another?
But if you are unhappy, then this is the right way, I think.

"Thank You very much DD, I wrote down everything you said, cause it was hitting the nail right on the head, and I will look into that some more."
Thank you. It means a lot to me, cause it also is a confirmation for myself. It is a good feeling to know that I was right in certain points, even though we do not know each other. It seems to confirm that astrology really works.

I also think that consciousness (about certain issues) is the first step for transforming them.

posted January 07, 2010 04:23 PM         

quote:

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That infuriates me, believe me, if I wanted attention, there are many, many other ways I would go about it.

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posted January 07, 2010 04:36 PM         

I also have allergies, could by the hypersensitive Neptune.

I have asthma, though it's mild and only comes out when I'm sick. When I was about 15 I first did my chart and saw that I have Gemini on the 8th house. I read something about Gem referring to the lungs, and I thought, yep, makes sense that my lungs and death (8th house) are linked.

When I was younger (11-17), I had frequent bouts of bronchitis. I spent many nights awake coughing, feeling my lungs ripping. I got a cat scan of my heart a few years ago (when they were trying to find the cause of my fainting), and the technician said my lungs sounded like those of someone who smoked heavily for 30 years. I knew I had scarring, but I didn't know it sounded that bad. The wheezing isn't audible w/o equipment, but I guess it's there.

And I'm sure there's something else in my chart that shows me being an IDIOT because despite my lung problems, there have been times that I've smoked regularly. A year here, 6 months there. Yeah, I know. *hangs head*

What else...got a few concussions when I was a kid. I think that could be Aries on the 6th, combined with my Mars-cnj-Jupiter daredevil antics.

I had an ulcer a few years ago. I used to get stomach aches from tension, never been the headache type. (Stomach - my Virgo placements? Draconic Cancer Sun?)

More than stomach pains though, tension tends to just send my immune system out of whack and I easily get sick. I think that's part of the reason I was sick so often growing up because I was in a stressful home. I guess all that could be Neptune also, too sensitive.

And for a long time, I suffered from really painful menstrual cramps. I went through that for years before a doctor explained why and I learned a way to minimize the pain. I don't know what could show that in my chart. I'll just go ahead and blame Neptune for that too.

posted January 07, 2010 05:01 PM         

It was like it was a way for me to "escape"s ituations even though of course this dizziness was pretty alarming, unpleasant.

Sometimes it happened when I have been thinking too much, being too long at the computer or just having drifted off into the worlds of thoughts for too long. It is almost like my body wants to remind me that it is still there and has to stay firmly anchored onto the ground.

posted January 07, 2010 06:48 PM         

Yes, let's just have a planet bashing day and get that out of our system. BAD Neptune, Bad Uranus, Bad Mars, and Bad Pluto, did I leave any one out??

Jane, don't hang your head, or at least not alone. I have to use a breathing machine for asthma every day, and I still smoke. *crawls under bed in anticipation* I know, I know....but, what can I say?

Regarding allergies, OVER SIMPLIFYING here, but just about every Virgo sun person I know, or people with lots of Virgo in their charts, or stuff in Virgo's house seem to have allergies and /or sinus problems. Just an observation.

I took shots for 4 years. They did help alot but, now they say I should do it again, and I don't wanna. They made me go every friday all the way across town, and I had to sit in the office and wait an extra 45 minutes because I would sometimes have a reaction.
One of my brothers is a Virgo and he did the allergy shots since he was a little dude and he has the worst sinus problesm of any one I know.