posted January 14, 2010 10:03 PM            

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I came across an older thread where people were discussing pregnancy and Belgz said sex while planning for a baby is a turn on whereas Diana thought it was a put off.

I guess this depends on what you are turned on by. I would like to have kids one day.. not any time soon. My early 30s would be best - a decade from now. I wouldn't mind planning to have a child and I'd find it sweet, but definitely not a turn on.

Truth be told - I'm only seriously turned on by aggressive sex. Anything too sweet puts me off. I associate sex with some amount of pain. If there's no pain at all, good bye orgasm.. good bye turn ons.. good bye physical satisfaction!
Maybe this is why I often attract men with their Venus or Mars in aspect to Pluto and lately Scorpio Mars.

Interestingly this is a highly physical thing to me. If there is any psychological or emotional pain in the picture - I'm already walking out the door. I want an emotionally happy and mentally engaging relationship *plus* rough sex, basically (to sum up lol).

I can still derive emotional satisfaction from loving/caring sex - just not physical satisfaction.

For a very long time this was so engrained in my psyche that I thought it was just natural.. that no human could possibly be turned on by "making love". It seemed so unthinkable to me. The pregnancy thread I came across reminded me of how different people are and how different sexual preferences can be.

So I was curious about your own preferences – and how you would relate them to your chart – mainly Venus & Mars (plus aspects). My second question is: Who do you attract? Do you find that you attract men/women who fulfil these sexual desires.. What are their own Venus/Mars and aspects.. Are there any patterns & similarities?

posted January 15, 2010 05:10 AM            

I do agree that Mars really does greatly influence sexuality and what I want in bed.

I have Mars in Libra and at times I can't decide how I want my guy to respond. Albeit all this, there are some consistancies;

* I prefer a chummy, playful approach to sex and for both of us to take turns being the "agressor" and the "submissive" one.

* I am turned on by someone who is intellectually versatile and stimulating, not to mention charming.

* I find gentleness in a dude sexy, I also respond positively to vulnerability. Did I mention that I like charm?

I don't have particular things that turn me off sexualy as I always look beyond the surface.

* One thing that I do not like about a person is pretention(a false character). You can look like an Adonis and be "all that" but I wont touch you.

* I also am turned off by insensitivity, thoughtlessness and a "rough and tumble" approach to love-making.Okay okay, not to say that I don't like passionate, no holds barred agressive sex, but I think that both parties should be "role playing" rather than have one party towering over another.

Hey, I guess I do have particular turn-offs, go figure!

I think I am the archtype Mars in Libra. I really value inner goodness in a guy more than physical looks(although if both are present that wont hurt either).

I have Venus in Scorpio and this is how I approach relationships ;since Venus also governs my 7th house;

* I am very sensitive to my partner and respond better to a gentle, mild approach.

* I prefer emotional transparency and lengthly "heart-to-heart" talks with the person I am involved with.

* I like it when my guy is attentive to me and treats me with gentleness because I always treat those I am involved with, with gentleness.

Turn offs

*Guys who kiss and tell.

*Guys who cheat. Its not like I want absolute monogamy-nobody is perfect- but I don't like it when a guy cheats and does funny things behind my back. If you want an open relatiosnhip with no strings attached, let me know, I always respond better to people who are honest.

* False, pretentious guys who can't be emotionally open. I think I mentioned this before.

posted January 15, 2010 05:29 AM            

Turn ons:
- great conversation
- quick wit
- laughter and humour
- a filthy sense of humour
- constant motion
- faithfulness
- quirk
- intimacy
- kissing, kissing and more kissing
- privacy
- feeling loved

posted January 15, 2010 09:51 PM            

Can't really say this or that.

Turn Offs:

Kiss & tell

Moody, Wishy-Washy, dismissive of my comments...

Aggressive in your face types, and mind game champs.

Who do I attract?, aggressive in your face types. Sagittarius, persons born on the 15th, Virgos.

Virgos drive me wild with excitement. Especially those born on the 30th, and 9th...and those with a taurus moon.

posted January 16, 2010 01:08 AM            

First of all I have to say I'm more in tune with my masculine side than most females (I know that sounds really weird, especially since I definitely don't look masculine) and its far easier for me to be attracted to masculine a-holes, than I'd like to admit... With that being said, there is some conflict going on aspect wise:

Venus opposition Saturn

Venus opposition Uranus

(The combo of Saturn and Uranus opposition tend to make me easily detach from myself for the goal of immediate self gratification).

Mars trine Sun
(explains my attraction to cocky masculine guys who also tend to have their Sun aspected by Mars).

Mars trine Mercury ( A good Conversationalist is the key, and so far I've attracted some pretty smart and educated dudes).

Mars square Neptune (This aspect is the culprit of romanticizing sex and adding to the fact that I prefer to be seduced, but it probably adds some sex appeal to me, I've read that this aspect is prominent in celebrities).

Mars square Chiron (sex can be healing but in conflict with Chiron's higher purpose to heal others and Mars is very much a "me" planet).

I don't believe Venus and Mars signs make much of a difference since most people have the same combo every month or so... But natal Venus is in Gemini and Mars is in Aries...

Obviously, Vapor-Lash, you know I'm not very sexually experienced, but all I can say is I probably won't deny someone a good time unless I'm not attracted to them, unfortunately attraction is far more important to me than I'd like to mention along with how a guy dresses... No slobs!

Do you think Mars or Venus has to do more with your overall sexual tendencies?

posted January 16, 2010 07:18 PM            

Turn ons:
- Honesty
- Quick Mind
- Energy
- Not Afraid to Take Chances
- Assertive
- Dedicated
- Dependable
- Thoughtfulness

Turn Offs:
- Doesn't back up actions with words
- Wishy-washy
- Lazy
- Unmotivated
- Overly-agressive
- Too passive
- Afraid to take chances
- Too flirty

As far as sex goes ... I like sweet and meaningful and also rough and agressive. Everything really, lol. Depending on my mood ... My Mars is in Taurus.

posted January 16, 2010 10:10 PM            

why?

Well, Venus sq Saturn (identifies love with pain)

Venus sq Pluto (bedroom games)

Venus sq Uranus (I surprise my own self!)

Mars conj Uranus can make one like aggressive/violent lovemaking

Sun/Venus in the 8th can enjoy power games which go along with those up there ^

Merc in Scorp can also prefer the dark side of things, (No, not all of us)

Moon conj Mars- hmmm, this is like a wrestling match.

and, us Neptune in Scorpio people, well, sometimes we just suffer with this kind of stuff.

posted January 16, 2010 11:16 PM            

aries-cancer.. that is exactly what I'm referring to. It's very physical to me like I said. I'm too shy to give examples (pfffffft my cappy side) - but biting was a good one!!! I LOVE biting! lol
I have a close Venus-Mars trine. You have the conjunction.
Nightingale may be onto something with Venus-Mars aspects = a love of pain.

:edit: and Gypsee you have Moon conjunct Mars - This could be similar.

Teasel - the things you described were more on the psychological side.. I'm not interested in playing with anyone's ego or emotions - or have them play with mine.

Vertiver - Interestingly, I'm not into cocky men. I like men who are socially well-liked - funny and easy-going. The "bad-boy" type seems immature to me in a way that puts me off. Maybe that's my Cap side - again.

I have to get along very well with someone to have sex with them. I have to like them as people.. But when it comes to sex as such - I'd prefer them to be aggressive. I think I'm more sexually submissive than dominant but I could go either way - as long as it feels passionate and there is a little aggression & pain (or maybe a little more than a little, but nothing overboard – nothing TOO taboo) lol

Nightingale and Teasel - you both mentioned a dislike of pain.. although I'm not sure whether you mean physical or psychological pain. Teasel sounded like she meant "psychological" pain (you said you wouldn't like to hurt their ego etc.)

I really do enjoy being in pain - whilst having sex.. it seriously intensifies my feelings and my orgasm.. so I like it. I'd like to give an example - but like I said I'm shy.

I think it depends on what you have in mind.. I wouldn't do anything that feels dangerous to me and definitely not with someone I didn't LIKE and TRUST.

Teasel -

quote:

---

I wouldn't want to feel fear, or have someone deliberately hurt me.

---

posted January 17, 2010 12:33 AM            

I do have an aggressive sexuality under wraps, I admit it, but I've realized that it will never come out if you don't even bother to stimulate my mind first....or atleast have some sort of depth (Cancer sun).

posted January 17, 2010 02:37 AM            

In Placidus my 5th house cusp is Libra, but half of the 5th house is in Scorpio.

The ruler - Venus is conjunct NN and opposite Pluto + SN in the 5th in Scorpio.

From what I've read about Venus/Pluto & Scorpio SN etc.. it suits what I would like sexually. The men I attract often have Scorpio influences (sometimes coupled with Libra.. my longest relationship was with a Libra guy who has a stellium in Scorpio).

That being said - Nightingale has Venus conjunct Pluto and she said she didn't like pain at all. Maybe in her chart the 5th house isn't involved..

Nightingale - what sign/house is your conjunction?

quote:

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I hate pain, violence or debasement in connection to sex. I am into deep love.

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posted January 17, 2010 02:40 AM            

quote:

---

I do have an aggressive sexuality under wraps, I admit it, but I've realized that it will never come out if you don't even bother to stimulate my mind first

---

posted January 17, 2010 03:02 AM            

pisces venus opp saturn, square neptune, trine uranus, quincunx moon

turn off:

people playing a character
selfish
being able to be in a relationship just to get your socks clean or have a hole at home whenever it suits you. that^ is gross! seriously, someone not ready to sacrifice some parts of himself in love is not attractive to me at all.
all serious and no fun type of guys, I have nothing against seriousness, saturn ruling my 7th but I want to be able to be my real self without embarrasment, and even my stupidest self

turn on:

freedom AND commitment
monogamy
unashamed sex
tenderness and cuddles
in a sense, someone practical AND gentle

meta_4 my 5th is scorp and I love them

posted January 17, 2010 04:31 AM              

Mars is in the 9th house trine Saturn and opposes my Moom.

Venus is retrograding in my 8th house conjuct Jupiter and Mercury, squaring Pluto.

Ero is in Sag in the 12th house.

Turn ons:

-Playfully
-A good sense of humor
-Big kind heart
-Warm, lots of hugging, cuddling, snuggling
-Open and friendly
-Creative
-Kid at heart
-Motivated dreamer
-Pillow talk

Turn Off:
-Drama
-Abusive/Overly anger over lil things
-Lies, be honest it makes things a hell of alot easier for the both of us
-Materialism
-Leaching/Parasite
-Doesn't know how to talk things out.

I have my 5th house in Taurus, Taurean women are gorgeous they remind me of the classy vintage pin up model but Taurean males and I have hit a rough patch, there's one right now thats acting like a huge golden douche bag right now -.-;;.

posted January 17, 2010 01:37 PM            

Venus/Pluto/Moon in late Virgo/early Libra in the 8th house.

Note: I added debasement as a turn-off to the list for additional information, especially because of my 8th house conjunction. Some people associate 'darkness' with underbelly/sleazy stuff or S&M. I don't. And it certainly doesn't work like that for me.

I have a theory about sexuality and sadism which you probably won't agree with. My thoughts are that people prefer either the sexual side OR the sadistic side much more.

What I am saying is that they are EITHER aroused primarily by a) violence, or b) coitus. I mean you can mix and match them but in the end it is one or the other which moves them.

posted January 17, 2010 05:29 PM            

quote:

---

I added debasement as a turn-off to the list for additional information, especially because of my 8th house conjunction.

---

That's interesting. I completely see debasement as a turn-off.. My Moon (Capricorn) is on the 8th cusp.

quote:

---

Some people associate 'darkness' with underbelly/sleazy stuff or S&M. I don't.

---

That's true. I think many people might associate "darkness" with that - because it's commonly seen as a social taboo. But like I said I'm not interested in bdsm as such. First of all I find it much more psychological than what I have in mind - It seems to affect people's daily lives and the way they interact with each other in general. Maybe that's not always the case but that's the impression I get. It's a lot more psychologically elaborate. I'd prefer something raw and genuine.. not "set-out" by any rules and not something that would change the normal-daily interaction I had with the man in question.

I also have nothing against bdsm etc.. so I don't associate darkness with it. It's completely up to every individual how they want to explore their sexuality and where they want to take it.

quote:

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And it certainly doesn't work like that for me.

---

Do you mean that things you see as dark – don't turn you on?
I also don't feel turned on by things I see as dark.. but our classification of what is dark and what isn't - could differ. Generally I don't agree with the typical social taboos.

quote:

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I have a theory about sexuality and sadism which you probably won't agree with. My thoughts are that people prefer either the sexual side OR the sadistic side much more.
What I am saying is that they are EITHER aroused primarily by a) violence, or b) coitus. I mean you can mix and match them but in the end it is one or the other which moves them.

---

I think they're usually intertwined for me. Pain in the absence of something sexual does nothing for me. I dislike it as much as the next person.

Conversely - something sexual (whether it extends to intercourse or not) in the absence of pain.. doesn't do much for me physically. Emotionally it can – because of the level of closeness. I'd still love the experience.. but physically it wouldn't come close to what I'd desire.

I don't disagree with you though - I'm just not sure what you mean exactly.. because I don't think I could separate them.

But whilst I type this ^ and also when I initially wrote that

quote:

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I really do enjoy being in pain - whilst having sex.. it seriously intensifies my feelings and my orgasm.. so I like it.

---

I think to myself, well maybe that's just "typical", because when it comes to certain body parts when you apply pressure, you'll get a reaction.

I think it's a matter of how much pressure people desire and feel comfortable with.
The kind of pressure I'm talking about might go overboard for some - because it turns painful.

But soft touches just don't do much for me. Nothing happens downstairs lol

However - I don't want a quick - 5 minute - lets have sex and it's all over before we know it situation.

posted January 17, 2010 08:23 PM            

Ons:
- people with alternative view points
- people with progressive view points
- idealism
- having friends that are girls
- rebels
- having an interest in "high brow" art but not eschewing low brow entertainment
- having an interest in the world around them
- respecting their mothers
- fashion sense

Offs:
- upholding traditions for the sake of tradition
- conservative values
- sexist/racist/classist remarks
- status quo
- druggies (i mean, i don't mind drugs every once in a while but every day is kind of absurd and i also dont trust those types of people)
- power seekers/people who bow to authority
- taking themselves WAYYYY too seriously
- have no ambition
- putting up walls
- mystery for the sake of mystery

posted January 19, 2010 03:00 AM            

Turn on's

-INTENSITY! (I think my love of intensity is an understatement)
- Lots of kissing
-warmth
-complete mental/physical bond
-having strong arms around my waist
-having them grab my sides
-skin contact (i.e. hand just barely under my shirt)
-whispering in my ear
-amber eyes
-bad boys

Turn off's