posted January 27, 2010 11:15 PM         

He asked me to meet his parents, but then decided he wasn’t sure he wanted anything serious. The next week he asked me on a date, and then almost immediately after he said he thought we shouldn’t date yet but just talk more first, and that he felt conflicted, but then we did end up going out. By that point I was getting sick of his back and forth, but went out with him anyway. The date was amazing, it just felt “right.” All of a sudden my feelings were very deep, and his were too, in fact he seemed to be falling for me faster than I was falling for him (he was staring into my eyes and almost crying, talking about marriage, blah blah..).

However, since then he’s been back and forth. He’ll be really effusive, and maybe I’m stupid and it’s all a game, but honestly I really believe he’s confused or scared. I try to give him space but as soon as I do he chases me, and says he really wants to date me, invites me to meet his parents, says I’m the right one, etc., then the next day he freaks out and says the opposite.

I feel amazing with him, and it's so much more than I ever even imagined. I don;t really date and I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t feel so strongly about him, and if the universe hadn’t conspired to bring us together, because that’s what seemed to happen. It’s like meeting myself in male form, everything I ever wanted, even things I didn’t know I wanted, except of course all his “confusion.” I’m a very “odd” person, and although I get along with everyone I’ve always been different and have had a hard time really relating to most people, except for him. Whenever I am around him, even if it's when we are disagreeing and it's all emotionally difficult, I feel this odd peace, like I'm home.  True, deep happiness. He admitted accidentally that he loves me, he gets REALLY affected whenever he looks into my eyes (starts to cry or almost cry, which is not appropriate because this happens A LOT at work when there are a lot of people around, and he seems very tortured and admits to being tortured about it, I always see him literally wrenching his eyes away from me, and he always says things like "You're going to kill me, you're going to make me crack up!," he says he can't sleep because he's thinking about me), he says things like "there is something between us, some kind of connection, I don't know what it is but I've never felt this way before, you don't even know me, but you know me".  

 He's 15 years older, never married, and always thought he'd never marry, but he tells me I'm the "right one", and yesterday said he really wanted to date me, that he feels this calm feeling (exactly what I feel) around me that he's never felt before, but then freaks out and says he knows if we dated we'd get married, and probably pretty soon, and "I really REALLY want to be with you, but I just can't get married, I CAN'T, it's not me!” Meanwhile he's about to cry as he says this (actually I think he did start to). He has some weird idea about marriage that has nothing to do with what would actually be the creation that he and I would make, but it’s his stubborn view and I don;t feel like trying to convince him otherwise. Not that I’m even talking about marriage, HE is the one that always brings it up.  

But I decided today to distance myself from him. Not just distance, give up really. I’m still leaving the door open but I’m giving up all my effort. If he doesn’t know what he wants, if it’s scared and running, he’ll just keep running if I chase him. I need to just keep praying, keep surrendering to God’s will, and focus on myself and my life and my goals. I do think there is a good possibility he will come back again, though something would have to change, he’d have to really convince me that he has worked through his confusion and knows what he wants because I don’t want to go through this back and forth again. I’m not mad at him now but if he did it to me again I probably would be.

But basically I just want to know if this is some kind of soul connection, or just some crazing based on the transits I’m going through right now (Neptune opposing my Venus, Pluto squaring my Sun, Saturn conjuncting my Sun), and if you think he will always be scared or will he ever come back (if that is something you can even tell from charts)? I promise, I’ll just post this and then forget about him (except at work ugh) LOL!

Thanks again and I do apologize for asking about this again and for talking too much in general:

His natal:

posted January 27, 2010 11:19 PM         

Synastry, him inside:

posted November 02, 2010 07:51 PM         

I think I would have a conversation with him and say that he often seems to be in one extreme or the other (either running or wanting to get married etc). Tell him you just want to date for a while and see how things go - And even if he wants to marry you, you would rather not jump into that. It's too early etc. That way he won't be able to keep jumping in this extreme.

On the other hand tell him - you are extremely put off by his occasionally evasive behaviour and consistency means a lot to you.. so if he cannot be consistent in his feelings for you - you will simply lose interest. He needs to understand this and hear it from you.
He seems like a reasonable person. If he was a Pisces - I'd tell you to run ten miles in the opposite direction. But Being a fixed sun sign (a Leo.. known for romantic consistency and staying power) and having both Libra and Cancer prominent - he is likely to really desire a serious relationship, not a fling.

posted November 02, 2010 09:10 PM         

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ohhhh Old thread

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