posted February 07, 2010 11:39 PM
Hi All,Jupiter is currently conjunct my sun and i have had an interesting couple of days.
I wasn't going to post here again,but a very interesting thing happened today. Before I get into it I do want to offer a disclaimer. I realize that the kind of thing I am going to talk about is totally subjective and most peole would laugh it off as an odd coincidence and not ascribe any meaning to it. That said my feeling is I don't know. I don't know what it means if anything. Sorry to be so circular about it,but I am a person that no one ever seems to believe so I guess I'm a bit defensive.
I had a net friendship a number of years ago that pretty much had ended. But some pretty remarkable things happened during that time. But a dream I had last night ties it all to a very important person from my past. This is the fascinating stuff.
Last night I had a dream about my mentor. He was my psychology professor in college. I went to him when I was 20 years old and on the verge of a breakdown. In a few brief weeks his wisdom and caring changed the course of my whole life. He healed a wound in me that went so deep and had so completely engulfed my life that I never thought i would get out of the labyrinth!
He was one of the most important peole in my life and changed everything for me. It was really a miricle what he did for me. I can never love him enough for what he did.
Last night I had a dream about him for the first time since he passed away in 2001. I don't remember much of the dream ,but he was talking to me and trying to help me find peace. After I woke up this morning I started to google him and found out things about his life I never knew before. I miss him so much I can't even tell you. I was crying and felt so sad he was gone.
Then at one point I wondered if there were any pictures of him on the net. So I put his name in google images. Peter V Corea. When I got the result, I was really surprised. There weren't any picutres of him,but there was a picutre there that kind of shocked me. It was a profound connection to a woman I had the net enocunter with. It was something very specific that only she and I would understand,but it was amazing!!!!
Anway, I honestly don't know what to make of it or if I should make anything out of it at all. But it is so strange!!!!
I had pretty much decided that I would never write my net friend again. Because we both seemed to have moved on so much and there was so much confusion and complications that I'm not sure we were good for each other. I do miss her dearly though.
But what I saw today inspired me to write here again. Who knows what it all means or if it means anything at all. But if it wasn't for today I would never be writing this. I leave you to make your own conclusions about that.
It seems like an eternity or two since that woman and I were really friends and wrote all those letters. I miss it all a great deal. I miss the closeness and the sharing of ideas. I can honestly say that I never felt so colse or so comfortable with another human being in my life. I know it all started crazy and she'll never believe it in a million years, but looking back I do think there was something about it all that had real meaning. It wasn't the meaning I thought it was,but there seemed to be something there.
Some of those letters were healing for me . I loved learning about her and over time I developed a deep caring and something selfless regarding her. But that was avery long time ago.Who knows why things happen as they do ,but I do believe there is always wisdom in the way things turn. I just trust that things are and will be as they should be.
I wonder if she's going through a tough time now???? In spite of our differneces I told her I would always be her friend. Maybe she gave up on the "phone thing"? I told her years ago that if you were ever sad or feeling hurt or alone. I would always help!
She used to always want someone to care unconditionally. You know I think a part of me did. Some of my caring for her came from a very pure place like the love a parent or from the soul.Simply delighting in the pressence of another soul and needing anything from them. The best things are always those that are indescribable and immaterial. A kind of gentle caring and real healing that comes from the spirit.I hope she knows she is always welcome to write me if she feels lost or sad or defeated. Together we would awlays find a path to peace and maybe even discover some other hidden happiness along the way!
M
Lindaland
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posted February 07, 2010 11:39 PM
posted February 08, 2010 03:11 AM