posted February 09, 2010 03:59 AM         

1. Have you *never* - not even once.. seen your parents (or the people who brought you up) arguing REALLY badly - screaming their heads off, shouting etc.?

2. Have you *never* - not even once.. seen some amount of physical aggression - for example your mum slapping your dad after an argument.. or.. someone throwing a plate at someone else, or - anything at all?

3. Have you *never* - not even once.. had either verbal or physical aggression thrown your way.. even if it was something small like a smack? (something you remember happening)

4. If any of the above situations have occurred, was the experience one that is significant to you in a negative sense.. or was it just a passing thing that you barely even recall?

5. What is your relationship with you parents like at present?

Please post the following:

Cusp of your 4th House + ruler & aspects
Planets in the 4th House
NN & SN (and conjunctions to either)
Sun and Moon signs + aspects to both
The Signs of your Parents (and anything significant in their natal charts and/or their synastry)

I'm asking because lately I've been hearing complaints from people who are quite close to me.. about their parents being abusive towards each other or towards *them*

posted February 09, 2010 04:04 AM         

1. They had about one huge argument per week (up until the divorce).

2. They seldom got physical but I do remember my mum slapping my dad twice and I also remember him pushing her away once and her accidentally falling into something which turned into a huge drama.

3. I've had verbal aggression directed at me, never physical.. and this happened rarely also.

4. All of these are very insignificant to me. I do remember some of these situations but they just don't affect me or the image I have of my parents.

5. I'm great friends with mum and get on well enough with dad so I just see them as OK people. Overall I have positive memories of my childhood.

The astrology of it:

4th cusp - Virgo .. Ruler: Mercury in Pisces (10th).. Mercury sextile Moon and square Uranus

Ceres is the only thing in my 4th house.

NN Taurus conjunct Venus (extra close).. SN Scorpio conjunct Pluto (wider)

Sun - Aries (square Moon - 7 deg, square Mars - 10 deg, trine Saturn - 3 deg, square Neptune - 6'deg)
Moon - Capricorn (square Sun - 7, sextile Mercury - 0 deg)

My parents have opposite sun signs - in Leo (mum) and Aquarius (dad).. He also has Moon/Venus and Mars in Aqua. My mum's Mars is in Scorpio. Other than that their synastry is generally positive.. both are airy people (mum has a Gem Moon and Libra Venus) which lead to several debates.

____________________________________

My friends' experiences made me remember my own - but they also made me realize that the same SORT of experience meant nothing to me..

For example one particular friend is blogging about how much the divorce of her parents affected her and how much they were arguing beforehand and how she used to cry about it.. Again - I can *relate* (sort of).. because I've had the same sort of experience.. I just don't *feel* that way - when I look back. That's not what I recall.

I remember my friends at primary school and kindy (yes EVEN kindy - I have a fairly good memory). I remember the things we did for Xmas when I still believed in Santa lol I actually stayed up almost all night once and I was very decided to get a photo of Santa Clause lol I remember my toys - the things I did daily or played with daily.. I remember my "boy next door" guy - he was basically like a brother to me, he was absolutely hilarious - he's still on my msn, but we don't talk much these days. I remember hiding his cars playfully and playing hide n seek with him lol I generally remember things that are *not* family related.. but the family related ones are more neutral than negative to me.

I was also wondering - From an astrological perspective.. what could account for the *types* of memories we have? IQ might be able to answer this. Because I really had some crappy experiences myself, I just don't make a big deal out of them and I don't feel like they define me, nor do they figure prominently in my memories.

posted February 09, 2010 04:27 AM         

Yeah up until I was 12. My parents would always punch on lol My mums a firey moon in Aries so she wasnt exactly innocent.

2. Have you *never* - not even once.. seen some amount of physical aggression - for example your mum slapping your dad after an argument.. or.. someone throwing a plate at someone else, or - anything at all?

Everything would go flying at our house. My dad would hit my mum after she would hit him and when my dad retaliates she would bring on an asthma attack and call the police, they were pathetic!

3. Have you *never* - not even once.. had either verbal or physical aggression thrown your way.. even if it was something small like a smack? (something you remember happening)

I was in year 4 and I shaved my legs, both my grandmother and my mum tried to burn my legs with a lighter after being bashed for an hour. When my grandmother got tired my mum would come in and still continue to hit me. My dad still beats me up if i get on his wrong side. Luckily he lives overseas.

4. If any of the above situations have occurred, was the experience one that is significant to you in a negative sense.. or was it just a passing thing that you barely even recall?

Ive been bashed by 3 of my uncles and all over stupid things. I would get bashed in the car in public it didnt matter.

5. What is your relationship with you parents like at present?

Things are great with both of them so as long as i dont live with them. I argue with my mum all the time. She loves argueing and she loves trying to dominate me by calling the cops if i dont do as she says. My dads very strict but i still love him more than my mum for some reason.

Please post the following:

Cusp of your 4th House + ruler & aspects
Planets in the 4th House
NN & SN (and conjunctions to either)
Sun and Moon signs + aspects to both
The Signs of your Parents (and anything significant in their natal charts and/or their synastry)

I have NEPTUNE in 4th opposing moon.
My 4th house ruler is JUPITER and its conjunct URANUS.

South node is conjunct my 4th house cusp and neptune.

I have sun in cancer, moon in gemini and they dont aspect each other.

Sun in 10th
Moon in 9th cnj MC

--------------------------------------------

MY DAD is Libra sun, Pisces moon, Scorp ASC

MY MUM is Gemini sun, Aries moon, Cancer ASC

posted February 09, 2010 04:44 AM         

My parents broke up when he was 8. Whenever we got in trouble i got belted because i was older and shouldve known better and set a better example. I feel like ringing both my parents and abusing them now.

I have been struggling to live on my own since i was 13. I have been kicked out of home 1 million times. I have a police record longer than Australias worst criminal because of my mum. When I was 23 I finally hit her back when she walked in on me in the shower naked and bit my arm. I broke her nose and got arrested over it.

Anyways my brothers chart who has had life a million times easier than me..

He has sun as the ruler of his 4th..

Its in 9th sextile mars and trine moon and square pluto.. power struggles but not a serious conjunction like mine with unstable URANUS.

HE has moon in 1st.

posted February 09, 2010 10:42 AM         

2. They're not physically aggressive towards each other

3. My mom has smacked me before.

4. Passing

5. Excellent. I don't see them a lot because I live in a different city but they call me often. My birthday was yesterday and they called me like 3 times lol and sent me flowers.

posted February 09, 2010 11:03 AM         

quote:

---

Mercury sextile Moon and square Uranus

---

*face palm* I should've known. You have one of my favorite Mercury cocktails.

quote:

---

From an astrological perspective.. what could account for the *types* of memories we have?

---

I think the ASC, Mercury, and the Moon would play the largest roles in how we perceive, retain, and experience life events.

After them, the Sun. The Sun shows our basic character. That character influences what we look for and therefore see.

posted February 09, 2010 05:58 PM         

My Uranus is at 22' Sag so I think it was conjunct your Sun/Neptune.

Also - good question! My parents didn't show much affection towards each other. Their relationship was more intelectual than loving (it still is.. they still talk - as aquaintances/friends) - I guess they were "in love" at some stage, before they had me. They are both much better off emotionally with their current spouses.
That being said, they both showed affection towards me, lots of it! So did my grandparents on both sides and just about everyone lol. I was an only child (I have a half-sis now and four step-siblings.. but didn't growing up).. so everyone was very excited and I had their full attention hehe

Belgz - DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With a family like yours I think I'd take kickboxing classes before next Christmas!

Anyway I'm sorry to hear they were all abusive in some way.. and in particular the hip problem. I had one myself and that seriously SUX! If someone is going to behave this way, they really don't deserve your time, your love or your attention.

Amowls, Thanks! We both have a Virgo IC and both have good relationship with our parents. Is your Mercury in the 9th in placidus or equal?

posted February 09, 2010 06:02 PM         

quote:

---

I think the ASC, Mercury, and the Moon would play the largest roles in how we perceive, retain, and experience life events.

---

That does make sense - but my Mercury is in Pisces and sextile Moon in Capricorn.. shouldn't that incline towards depression or melancholy? I'm the opposite and usually surprised when someone puts a particular event in a horrible light - when I would see the same event in a much more neutral light..

posted February 09, 2010 07:51 PM         

In confuses me as to why some people talk about these things like they are uncommon, like they were particularly ostracized or put down or harmed.. as children..When we all go through *something*

I understand there are different levels (and for example what happened to Belgz is an extreme) ..But I've heard people turn molehills into mountains - For example my aunt describes my grandma & my grandpa in particular unpleasant terms..

And I think to myself "Do you *realize* they're only people??? I mean.. so what? Everyone argues.." But for her it's a huge deal and she feels hard done by. It seems some people think the "perfect" childhood *exists* and they just didn't get their share of it.

Another person was saying how growing up she had to live in a room with three of her siblings, due to financial difficulties. She had some pics and the house looks quite nice, but small for a family of six.
I have been in a similar situation during a year when I had to live with a friends' family and didn't have my own room etc and the house was too small for everyone.. But do YOU think I'd say that?? Do you think I'd look back on that year and think "Oh no.. I didn't have my own room - woe is me!" - Some people don't even have food.. I look at that year and I had a blast. I had a blast living with two of my best friends - we had the occasional argument but had so much fun together and those are the times that I remember..

That's what I'd blog about or talk about - Not the mundane daily problems that cropped up due to lack of space.. That's just pfffffffft for me - It's life.. occasionally sh*t happens.. You can't always be *up* - sometimes the wheel goes down.

I'm just interested (and not in a critical way although I can see why it may come across that way after my spill).. I'm interested in the psychology of someone who turns such things into disasters and can't see or remember the positives.. and *further* blames other people for their negative memories.. This type of person is under the impression others have had it better, that the grass is *greener* and they got the raw end of the deal.. They got the "bad" parents.. the "bad" situations etc..

posted February 09, 2010 11:43 PM         

Cusp of your 4th House + ruler & aspects:
Libra H4, Venus is conj Moon, square Mars, Saturn, Pluto
Planets in the 4th House:
Pluto in Libra conj IC, Jupiter in Scorpio
NN & SN (and conjunctions to either):
NN, Cancer, no conj, SN Capricorn, conj Venus
Sun and Moon signs + aspects to both:
Sun Pisces, square Uranus, out of sign sextile to Neptune, out of sign trine to Pluto, very loose trine to Jupiter. Moon Capricorn, conj Venus, square IC/MC, square Saturn, Pluto

posted February 10, 2010 01:40 AM         

1. Have you *never* - not even once.. seen your parents (or the people who brought you up) arguing REALLY badly - screaming their heads off, shouting etc.?

Nope. My parents argued, but they never really rose their voice. Their arguments would end up with one of them finally giving in and deciding that it wasn't worth fighting over. They may not have AGREED, but they did realize it wasn't worth fighting over.

2. Have you *never* - not even once.. seen some amount of physical aggression - for example your mum slapping your dad after an argument.. or.. someone throwing a plate at someone else, or - anything at all?

Nope. My parents were NEVER physically aggressive towards one another.

3. Have you *never* - not even once.. had either verbal or physical aggression thrown your way.. even if it was something small like a smack? (something you remember happening)

Well, my Mom used to smack my wrists when I was very little, but not hard enough that it hurt. I was more upset when she yelled at me really. She actually stopped hitting entirely when my brother came along because he hit her back when he was 2, and so my mother realized she was teaching us to hit other people... She didn't like that idea.

4. If any of the above situations have occurred, was the experience one that is significant to you in a negative sense.. or was it just a passing thing that you barely even recall?

Well, the hitting of my wrists was something that I BARELY recall. When my mom yelled at us, I was more upset by it like I said before, but for the most part, I don't think I was hugely effected by it.

5. What is your relationship with you parents like at present?

I have a fairly pleasant relationship with both my parents. I live out of state, but I talk with them and visit them regularly. I had trouble with my mother growing up because she always wanted me to be girly, and I was a tom boy (until I became an adult, and then when she stopped forcing it on me, I became more girly).

I have:
Pisces 4th house- ruler Neptune in Sagittarius (1st); Neptune trine Venus, square Mercury, sextile Pluto/Saturn, conjunct South Node/opposite North Node

Empty 4th house

Neptune conjunction to South Node

Virgo Sun- conjunct Venus and MC, square Jupiter/Uranus (1st) and Chiron (7th), sextile Saturn/Pluto

Aries Moon- Trine Mars (9th) and Jupiter/Uranus (1st), sextile Chiron

posted February 10, 2010 02:40 AM         

____________________________

I'm comparing Belgz' parents with Lonake's.. because you guys both had aggression directed at you growing up and generally you don't have a positive impression of your parents. Also, your childhood experiences were serious enough to be remembered negatively and to have had a negative impact later on.

Belgz' parents have trined Sun Signs.. in Libra and Gemini.

Lonake’s parents also have trined Sun Signs.. in Cancer and Pisces. His second wife is a Scorpio so again *trine*

Belgz' parents have semisextile Moon Signs in Aries and Pisces.

Lonake's parents also have semisextile Moon Signs (both your mum and your dad's 2nd S.O. have an Aquarius Moon - he has a Pisces Moon)

Also Belgz' parents Asc signs.. are Cancer and Scorpio.. which are the same Asc Signs for Lonake's dad and his second wife.

_________________________________________

I'm also comparing Amowls' parents and Enchantress' parents because you guys seem to have the happiest experiences (so far)

Amowls' parents have sextile Sun Signs in Taurus and Pisces..

Enchantress' parents likewise have sextile Sun Signs in Aries and Aquarius.

Amowls' parents have sextile Moon Signs (Sag and Aqua).. So do Enchantress' parents (Cancer and Taurus).

____________________________________________

I can't really relate my own experience to anyone who has posted so far.. because it is neither good, nor bad.. it's somewhere in between. But my experience is closer to amowls' and enchantress' (my parents have opposite signs and trined moons).

So far it seems that compatible Moon signs are extremely important.. and trined Suns don't fare as well as sextile Suns in a family situation (at least from the kid's perspective). I know I'm only looking at signs but I thought these patterns were interesting and worth mentioning.
I'm wondering whether these aspects are in ORB or not?

posted February 10, 2010 07:37 AM         

2. Not even one incident of phsycial aggression.

3. A rare yelling if I messed up studying due to laziness. Any smack will be painless, and on the palms with a rolled newspaper, to indicate displeasure.

4. Passing, remember laughing it off most of the times. My memory recall is upto age 2, and very powerful.

5. Mom is no more, Dad and I live in the same building. Love him as much as I love my kids.

Cusp of 4th House: Cancer
Planets in the 4th House: None
NN in Libra, SN Aries, both unaspected.

posted February 10, 2010 08:26 AM         

Why do they leave one sign and pick the same sun sign again?

posted February 11, 2010 09:03 AM         

2. Nope. I've seen that before. (including TV, my parents never physically went at each other)

3. I've been in an abusive relationship so... nope.

4. Only the last situation.

5. Very good!

Pisces 4th house, Neptune in Sag 1st house, conjunct Sag 1st house Venus, sextile Scorpio 11th house Pluto.

No objects in the 4th house.

NN in Taurus 6th house (possibly conjunct Gemini rising? But I think the orb is too wide, just over 6°) SN in Scorpio 12th house.

Sun in 11th/12th Scorpio conjunct Saturn 11th/12th house (also Scorpio), opposing Ceres 6th house Taurus

Moon 7th house Gemini conjucnt DC on one side, Chiron on the other, opposing AC (no kidding!), Mercury and Uranus both Sag 1st house.

Mother: Scorpio sun, Gemini moon, Cancer rising. Can't think of much significant, apart from that she (and my dad both) has Pluto square Mars, like myself. Pluto in Virgo 3rd house, Mars in Sagittarius 5th house.

Father: Capricorn sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising, Pluto Virgo 12th house square Mars Sag 3rd house. Pluto is retrograde, so is Mercury, by the way (in Capricorn, conjunct Sun, 4th house)