posted February 10, 2010 05:36 PM         

So he's the Mars and you're the Venus - (I just clicked on the first meeting thread) You haven't spoken much and it's all body language.

So far, it's all very very similar to the way things started for me and the guy I mentioned in your Venus-Mars thread.

If I could go back and change something at this point - and it's *really* very important.. I would *talk* to him MORE.
The problem I find is that due to the sexuality of the aspect Mars finds it very easy to see Venus as a *face*, as a *body*, as something to have sex with. I won't use the word objectify.. because it is overused and not my cup of cake.

I'd rather say that he'd be inclined to animalize you - rather than "objectify". Animalize in the sense that he could see you as *you* female animal *you*.. rather than you as a collection of all of your different facets.. that are not *just* your vagina.

I know right now - you met, you really like him.. It's sweet and it feels good to stare back and forth. The body language feels good.. so you'd like to go along with it and see where it takes you. However - where it takes you may not be "where you want to go".. It may be "where he wants to go".. and they could be very different places.

My advice would be to try to see him as a different person. Imagine you were NOT attracted. Imagine you saw him as a potential friend.. How would you behave or react *then*? I think you need to change the way you see him and try your best (even if it's difficult) to TALK .. and build a friendship... without the sex, without the flirting, without the romance..

Just for a while..

If you get too sexual or even sensual, too soon.. He won't understand.

Mars is lost on female sexuality completely.. If you flirt with him - he thinks "yep she wants sex now"... which is probably not the case, because you're probably more in "love" than *just* sexual.. it's a mixture for Venus.

For him to even BEGIN to grasp and understand your sexuality which is MUCH more complicated than his own... you have to start by being friends.. you have to start by being nonsexual and then ease into sexuality.

Otherwise - the way things are going now.. specially if something physical happens - say you go to a party and make out -.. you will most probably see his WORST side.
He will hurt you because he wont be able to acknowledge you as a human with an actual personality... He'll see you as "she's a *girl*!!!!" not "she's META"

As a Leo this kind of thing can get especially frustrating and upsetting to you. So if you want this guy to acknowledge YOU.. and YOUR personality - now is the time to have those conversations.

posted February 10, 2010 06:59 PM         

So it all boils down to me. The actions i make. I feel like if i pursue him I will "attain" him. All roads are leading that way, anyways.

I didn't realize just how obvious the sexual tension was? That sounds ridiculous considering what i told you about the body language, but i never even thought about him registering our interactions as, "Yep, she wants me!" And you're absolutely right, that's not what i want. It makes me dislike him at the thought of it.

It's so funny that you started this thread because literally an hour ago i was thinking to myself, "You know what, Meta, we're just going to let it go. Whatever happens, happens. We're not going to try to make anything happen anymore..."

posted February 10, 2010 07:48 PM         

All I'm saying is make SURE that your Leonine personality shines its way RIGHT in his face.. and he simply cannot miss it. Imagine your relationship with a friend of yours (male or female it doesn't matter). This person *knows* you.. They treat you as another *person*. This is what I'd like to see from him (were I in your shoes, as the Venus - *again*)

I'd like him to GET you - to SEE you.. to SEE the person.. META the PERSON.

Because it's so easy with this aspect for him to think "Meta is a HOT female I want to have sex with .. and *period*"..

And if your relationship is based on body language primarily (as my own was in the beginning stages).. he won't get to know you enough to have emotion, like and respect for *you*..

This is really significant.. because:

A guy with his Mars opp your Venus who DOES know all these other facets to your personality and can LIKE you as a *person* and a *friend* will behave very differently towards you (in a positive sense), when contrasted to..

A guy with his Mars opp your Venus who managed to precipitate the relationship (in either a passive or aggressive manner – depending on whether the sign is feminine or masculine) into one that is PURELY physical..

"Purely physical" can even include what's going on at the moment: body language and suggestive stares..

You think you are sending the message "Hey I like you.. I'd like to date you". He thinks you're saying: "Hey.. I find you sexually attractive.. I'd like to have sex with you".

And the truth is you *might* be saying both things.. but since you're the Venus - you likely put more emphasis on the dating lovey-dovey parts, rather than *just* sex.

Your desire for something MORE than just the sexual.. will FLY right over his head.. unless you make it clear.. (and he will only take well to your making it clear, if he already likes you as a friend).

Just my onion.. I don't know if it's the Universe lol.. maybe it's just me but I hope this helps!

posted February 10, 2010 08:13 PM         

I did have a Venus/Mars in the meeting chart with the same guy (a trine), but I think the particular story I described is more due to the synastry Venus-Mars conjunction.

But it may be *both*.. I don't know.

posted February 10, 2010 08:32 PM         

Please don't hate him!
So much for my Venus/NN conjunction being a good match maker!
I'm doing the opposite lol

I'm sure things could turn out great if you hang out for a while so he sees what you're like and you see what he's like etc.. rather than things being quickly precipitated into something TOO physical. As fire signs we want mental stimulation as well - we want someone entertaining - someone who can have fun and make playful conversation!

But I understand your reaction..

quote:

---

I'm almost bitter at him. Kinda hate him, and i don't even know him! LOL!

---

That was my reaction precisely when I found out from one of his friends that he thought I wanted to have sex with him and nothing else. I could not for the life of me understand how in the world he got this idea.. but looking back he must've misinterpreted all the body language and the stares.

And our on and off ongoing relationship started off in our teens as well (this whole misinterpretation problem – happened *then*, in the beginning). Things ended early 20s.

posted February 10, 2010 08:42 PM         

I just... when i give off vibes, they're very emotional vibes, you know? If i'm attracted to you, it's normally an emotional thing. And i just assume that's understood, and reciprocated-- that their attraction is watery, because the basis of my desire is very watery. Yet when i'm sexually attracted to someone, my judgment is clouded. I'm not able to read someone as clearly or quickly because the situation is too subjective. So it's good and very helpful to be grounded and given a possible insight to his perspective.

I will definitely be cautious. Thank you so much.

posted February 11, 2010 05:51 PM         

Otherwise nothing offends me.. I *enjoy* being argumentative (my bratty Aries self) lol so you can debate anything with me as much as you like