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Author Topic:   Saturn/Venus in Synastry
racole12
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Posts: 14
From: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Registered: Feb 2010

posted April 05, 2010 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for racole12     Edit/Delete Message
Can anybody send me some links that discuss this topic?

I have this with a person (square) and it's exact. (His Saturn in Leo and my Venus in Scorpio- in the 5th house). Trying to find more information about it since the relationship is one of the most caring ones I have been in, which it seems like it should be the opposite?

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Ami Ann
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Posts: 1007
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009

posted April 06, 2010 06:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Ann     Edit/Delete Message
I have this with a friend. His Saturn in Virgo
squares my Venus(unaspected) in Gemini.
It started out as romantic ---long distance.However, when I spent time with him and understood astrology more, I could feel his Saturn weighing on my Venus.Also, he has Mars conjunct moon in Virgo squaring my Sun.
It felt like nagging, to put it in words.
It felt like picking.
He would dispute little things which did not need disputing.
It seemed like he NEEDED to pick.
I love him as a friend, though. He has many other good qualities.I ignore these things,now. If he picks or disputes, I don't answer and we go on to something else. Last night, HE apologized for picking. He said he was jealous because my life seems more fun than his.


Ami

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cherle
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Posts: 46
From:
Registered: Mar 2010

posted April 06, 2010 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cherle     Edit/Delete Message
In my experience, Saturn crossaspects depend a lot of how well the Saturn person handles their Saturn energies. If they are aware of how they can be critical, bossy, nagging and imposing their expectations on others, they can often censor themselves well enough to let themselves express the more beneficial side of Saturn: loyalty, support, patience, good advice, resistance to outside pressures, a sense of order, security and certainty--all things that can be very helpful in any relationships.

Harder cross aspects can make things harder for the Saturn person. They often feel insecure with these aspects, which in turn brings out their more negative Saturn energies. The key for the other person is to help reassure the Saturn person. And because you're dealing with cardinal, earth energy, these gestures of assurance need to be backed up with solid action. Show up on time. Keep your word. If you say you'll do something for them, do it. Be honest, no head games, no big secrets. Direct and clear communication.

And so when the Saturn person begins feeling insecure and acting out their more negative emotion, the other person needs to confront it, in a gentle way, and reassure the Saturn people with that history: "When have I've not been there for you? When have I lied to you? When did I not keep my word with you?"

Everyone has a Saturnine self, and we all need to be very aware of it, regardless of how Saturn is placed in our charts and how it cross aspects with other people in out lives. At some point, we all are tempted to act out our negative Saturnine selves and we are ultimately responsible for that. But here's the things with dealing with OTHER people's Saturnine selves: mature people can be easily reassured when it comes to their own Saturnine selves. They recognize and value trust, loyalty and honesty. They are reassured by what is authentic, sincere, REAL. They know that counts and they know the rest is just dross to be pushed aside.

However, immature people aren't always so easily reassured regarding their Saturnine selves and you may find yourself in a very unhealthy cycle with them where you're constantly trying to prove yourself to them, or tolerating far more patronizing and nagging than you deserve, which in turn builds resentment. At this point, you have to make a choice: this this person worth the effort to address their Saturnine energies, hoping in time you can help them nurture more self-awareness and maturity regarding their Saturnine selves, or do you need to just cut your losses and let them go?

Tough Saturn aspects can create a strong sense of loyalty, despite the tension. But again, it depends on how mature and self-aware the Saturn person is. If that's your situation, great--I personally believe healthy Saturn energy is highly beneficial in any relationship, including a romantic one. But that's not always the case. Often times in romantic relationships, hard Saturn crossaspects to personal planets eventual express themselves in a depressing cycle of "wet blanket"-dom, and so one or both people decide to get out. That's usually due to the often naive expectations we have when we "fall in love" and we gloss over the other person's shortcoming and aren't quite willing to work as hard as we should to make the relationship work in the long term. I don't think there's shame in that, but such relationships will be learning experiences (or should be!). With romantic relationships, it's not your job to be the other person's therapist or to fix whatever they are lacking in regards to self-awareness or maturity, and sometimes we need to have a few of these tough Saturn relationships to really figure that out!

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racole12
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Posts: 14
From: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Registered: Feb 2010

posted April 06, 2010 10:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for racole12     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Cherle for your amazing response.

I'll share my situation and then you can see how that fits well with what you said.

The person I'm experiencing this with is a friend (a guy) of 12 yrs. We met my 2nd year of college and we were tied to the hip. We were extremely loyal, protective and took a stand for each other all the time. I remember breaking up with my ex-boy and I was so upset that my friend spent the night, hugging me and allowing me to cry and just be in that space with me- which never taking advantage of the situation. So, that's how the situation was. After college he joined the Air Force as a musician and was stationed in Europe, which he was just transferred back to the US. When we re-connected it was like we were never a part but for the first time our relationship moved to the romantic side, which I know he is a little worried about how strong his feelings are for me b/c he went thru a divorce 2 yrs ago and he needs to get things straight. I'm trying to figure how to handle the situation in the most gentle way possible while allowing him to have his space to figure him out. I'll show you our charts together... we have other Saturn aspects (like a wide Sun-Sat opposition, wide Sun-Saturn trine, wide Moon-Saturn square) Plus... my Sun/Moon midpoint and MC are conj his Sun, a double whammy Sun- Venus Trine, and a moon-moon conj. So, there is a good mix of hard and soft aspects. He doesn't know his birthtime but it might give some more insight... I definitely need it.

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racole12
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From: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Registered: Feb 2010

posted April 06, 2010 10:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for racole12     Edit/Delete Message
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racole12
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From: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Registered: Feb 2010

posted April 06, 2010 10:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for racole12     Edit/Delete Message
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racole12
Knowflake

Posts: 14
From: Cincinnati, OH, USA
Registered: Feb 2010

posted April 06, 2010 10:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for racole12     Edit/Delete Message
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scrappydog
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Posts: 315
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009

posted April 06, 2010 10:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for scrappydog     Edit/Delete Message
I have had 2 relationships with my venus square my partners saturn. My venus is very sensitive as I am a libra with taurus rising and it's the strongest planet in my chart. Though physically attracted to 1, I believe due to other aspects, the other not attracted to at all. But both saturns were attracted to my venus, BUT very insecure and jealous of me!!! The one I mentioned I was Not attracted to was very affectionate with me and when he touched me I CRINGED. As other ladies before me have said Yuck, I agree! Both saturn males wnated to Control my venus and Own it, No Way!

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