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Author
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Topic: Aspects that make you switch off emotionally?
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GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 07, 2010 10:19 PM
 
I had a question...I'm a double Cancer with Moon in Cap, and Taurus Venus and I was thinking about how I get over romantic relationships/bad events. I have a tendency to stay friends with exes, and because I am so nice and there for them they think that I still have feelings for them. I have a tendency to be the type of person that sticks with things, and I am VERY loving (Can Sun/Asc/Mars and Moon in 7th)...but as soon as I get over something/someone I literally CAN NOT back track emotionally. Like I'll even deal with exes and their new gf's and I'm NOT jealous nor want them back at all. And I'll even introduce them to my single gf's all the while my exes think this is strange or that I'm heartless or detached. It's like no matter how intense/bad/good it ended or how the relationship was I literally don't hold the past against them. Nor even regard it as that much of a big deal. Plus getting over someone doesn't take as long as other people once I decide I'm done. I don't even find them attractive (not unattractive...its just I feel nothing). I care, but its not an emotional thing...I can take or leave them. It's more mental...if that makes sense. I also find that with any emotional issues that have occured I have no prob talking about them...but in a very detached mode. I don't feel them. What type of aspects would make a person be able to do this? I have a Gemini friend who hates staying friends with exes and holds grudges (she's a Cancer Venus). I can't be that way. I even have a recent Aqua ex and I assumed we would be friends and cool and he was not really into wanting to be friends. And it turns out he didn't want to be my friend because it was awkward. Or I would want to talk about stuff. Well I got over it and lost all interest and am dating someone else, and have for the past month or so been treating him like every other friend/person I know (saying hi after class etc, and I called once a few weeks ago to see how he was)...but for him to say it was awkward just baffles me. Does anyone have experiences like these? IP: Logged |
vapor-lash
Knowflake Posts: 1836
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted April 07, 2010 10:41 PM
I almost always stay friends: Cap Moon, Taurus Venus and Cancer AC.
No one thinks I have "feelings" for them though. I think I make that clear lol I mean I'm still nice but not "loving".  quote:
as soon as I get over something/someone I literally CAN NOT back track emotionally. Like I'll even deal with exes and their new gf's and I'm NOT jealous nor want them back at all. And I'll even introduce them to my single gf's all the while my exes think this is strange or that I'm heartless or detached. It's like no matter how intense/bad/good it ended I literally don't hold the past against them. Nor even regard it as that much of a big deal. I don't even find them attractive
I'm exactly like this. When I'm done I stop caring romantically. I find it easy to treat them like any other friend. I thought it was my Sun-Venus in the 11th. quote:
I even have a recent Aqua ex and I assumed we would be friends and cool and he was not really into wanting to be friends. And it turns out he didn't want to be my friend because it was awkward.
hmmm I think this guy was a bit immature. I remember the other threads. I think he's sowing oats still. IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 803
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 07, 2010 11:09 PM
I don't usually stay friends because I don't see any point. I'd rather be rid of the person than have them in my life even after a split/fall out. That sounds like the all or nothingness of my 8th house moon.
As for moving on, I surprise myself by how easily I bounced back and landed on my fee after the only serious relationship I've ever had. It took a while for the hurt to go away, but I think my Gemini Venus helped me there with distractions like going out with friends or finding new things to do. In like a month I was already talking to someone new.
Yeah, but once I'm over something...I'm done. I'm not one who wants to try and relive the past if given the chance. I wonder if that's my Venus again. I realize that the reason is that I was totally different person *then* than I am now and there wouldn't be any novelty in reliving a certain relationship because I've changed so much. Oh, and I'm a Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon, Cap Rising. IP: Logged |
GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:20 AM
Vapor lash you actually might be onto something. My Venus, North Node, Psyche, Lilith, Pallas are all in the 11th house. Plus I have a Mars/Sun Inconjunct to Uranus. And my Sun/Mars are parallel to Uranus. "I think I make that clear lol I mean I'm still nice but not "loving..." That's very much so how I am, but it’s compounded even more so because I can have a physical relationship and not get attached at all to these so exes again, and I can treat them like any other friend I have. That gets me in a WHOLE lot of trouble. "Hmmm I think this guy was a bit immature. I remember the other threads. I think he's sowing oats still" Oh boy the Aqua ex...he is immature. I basically laid my heart on the line and told him that I really liked him and was sorry if my emotions made him uncomfortable (apparently me feeling the way I did made him feel uncomfortable)...all the while he was telling me that I was going to San Fran (and I of course thought his Venus Cap was being practical), or that he had feelings for me. Then he would be a jerk and get distant after he’d tell me he had feelings for me...plus he would hug me multiple times tell me I’m amazing..etc. But if I pushed relationship again he’d freak (and say he didn't want a gf). Even now he's making being friends like this huge deal, and saying we can try to be friends...I'm like seriously just treat me like you treat other people! I know Venus Cap is serious...but that serious?! There is no emotional investment in friends and we can talk after class and maybe hang out in the fall...other than that no big deal. But he’s making it such a big deal. I’m not stupid I know for a fact that the Aqua will NEVER treat me as just a friend. Not saying he’s madly into me still or at all…but I think the Aqua fixed thinking isn’t helping in this case. He had always maintained he never wanted to be just my friend. And he actually hasn’t been. The only way he was even responsive to me was in the context of contacting me after an emotional expression/getting back together. And I’ll admit I’m a little saddened that an Aquarius doesn’t want to be my friend, and won’t treat me like he treats everyone.
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GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:21 AM
“I don't usually stay friends because I don't see any point. I'd rather be rid of the person than have them in my life even after a split/fall out. That sounds like the all or nothingness of my 8th house moon.” …but once I'm over something...I'm done. I'm not one who wants to try and relive the past if given the chance.”I can understand that reasoning. I look at it as I found something in these guys special enough to share my heart/body/time etc or whatever…certainly I can find something about them special enough to keep them around as friends. Not that I want them back or want them to want me back (I don’t at all). I truly want them to find someone to make them happy (no matter if they dumped me or I dumped them). But I’ll never feel romantically for them again (I have my moon square Pluto, and Pluto in the 5th…so it’s all or nothing too). I do value friendship VERY VERY highly, and have been very hurt when ex bf’s have told me they didn’t want to stay friends (a Sag Sun/Moon with Mer/Ven in Scorp did this too me), and oddly enough the Aqua (who oddly enough BM has a Cap Rising and Virgo Moon...you might be onto something).
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Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 803
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:29 AM
I never said you were trying to live in the past, I was just giving you *my* reason for not staying friends. To me, becoming close to the person in anyway again (even friendswise) is like reliving the past. I change too much to want to relive certain people. I can be cordial to the person, but not close to them again.
Sorry, when I read your post I thought you were asking in general, I didn't realize you were wanting to know more about yourself.
*edit* It sounds like an 11th house thing though. I have nothing in there, but Pluto rules mine. What's in yours? I don't know, I guess maybe after a looong time and lots of 'forgetting' I might be acquaintances with the person. *ponders* But immediately after a break-up...nah. IP: Logged |
GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:38 AM
No no...lol I was asking in general. I wasn't attacking you. I was just responding to what you wrote...and that I understand where you're coming from lol. I think me studying finance all day has made me sound hard nosed lol. Btw BM do you happen to have any planets in the 11th? I'm wondering if an influence in that (especially Venus) makes one that way? What house is your Venus in? Edit: That makes sense that you would be even more all or nothing...because you don't have anything in the 11th. I wonder if other aspects/influences might lend its self to this or is it purely an 11th house thing. IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 803
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:42 AM
Oh LOL, I had edited my post to add more.
I have nothing in the 11th with Scorpio on the Cusp. My Venus falls in the 5th, and its unaspected.
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 07:29 AM
Can I please ask another question before I answer?
I hope I am not too annoying but I can't help myself .
Belgz told me my Venus was NOT unaspected. It is in the 7th house with Taurus on the cusp.
So it is exalted by house .
So would THIS take me OUT of the unaspected Venus category  ?Thanks so very much! Ami IP: Logged |
GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 11:29 AM
Hi Ami...You're not annoying at all with the questions!! I'll try my best to answer it...but my knowledge isn't as depth as unaspected planets and whatnot. From my understanding there is accidental digities. Meaning that even if something isn't in the right sign being in the right house or house cusp can make it a dignity. For instance I have a VERY typically weak Mars in Cancer...BUT its in the first house. Which makes it an accidental dignity and makes it almost ecclipse the Cancer traits. I'm WAY more assertive than even my Mars in Aries friends. So taking that you're Venus in the 7th house cusp would be an accidental dignity because Venus is Co ruled by both the 2nd and 7th house. So it's prob much more stronger in your nature than you're giving it credit. So technically it would be aspected. If anyone disagrees with this or I'm wrong please let me know. IP: Logged |
amowls*
Knowflake Posts: 1246
From: richmond va
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 11:48 AM
I would like to remain friends with exes, but it is difficult sometimes. I am not friends with my most recent ex but thats because he is crazy and kept trying to win me back while at the same time kept making rude comments about me and my new boyfriend.When I break up with someone I put them completely out of my mind, I also date other people really quickly. Venus square Uranus? IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 12:20 PM
quote:
Hi Ami...You're not annoying at all with the questions!! I'll try my best to answer it...but my knowledge isn't as depth as unaspected planets and whatnot. From my understanding there is accidental digities. Meaning that even if something isn't in the right sign being in the right house or house cusp can make it a dignity. For instance I have a VERY typically weak Mars in Cancer...BUT its in the first house. Which makes it an accidental dignity and makes it almost ecclipse the Cancer traitsI'm WAY more assertive than even my Mars in Aries friends. So taking that you're Venus in the 7th house cusp would be an accidental dignity because Venus is Co ruled by both the 2nd and 7th house. So it's prob much more stronger in your nature than you're giving it credit. So technically it would be aspected. If anyone disagrees with this or I'm wrong please let me know.
I took the unaspected Venus to heart as a flaw.
So, actually my Venus is strong--perhaps stronger than good aspects---right?
I go from a profligate to a good woman in a matter of minutes
Ami
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Ursa
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 12:47 PM
Just read your post, we have the same moon and venus, both our suns in water signs . I can be pretty cold or seem so but with certain people I don't let go and tend to have an infinite capacity to see them with new eyes. However, I wonder how old you are because you have cap moon, anyone with uranus in libra can potentially square your moon-do you have that configuration natally? I have this in pretty tight orb in my chart and I can at times be without feeling. IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 803
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:10 PM
quote:
I took the unaspected Venus to heart as a flaw.
So, actually my Venus is strong--perhaps stronger than good aspects---right?
I go from a profligate to a good woman in a matter of minutes.
It's still unaspected, but what GrlyGirl means is with the dignity it probably doesn't operate like the average Unaspected Venus. It's been given strength and balance with the 7th house placement.
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1554
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:19 PM
Thank you for the explanation BM.
When relationships end , my Gemini planets give me the strength to walk away.
The Cancer Moon and Mars WANT me to cling to the guys leg -lol- but I listen to the Gemini's Ami
IP: Logged |
venus in gemini
Knowflake Posts: 558
From: Florida
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2010 01:34 PM
Capricorn Moon can shut their emotions off like that. They are very good at "compartmentalizing" their life. Can love you at full blast, and then stop, put you up on their shelf, go do what they need to do, and then come back for you when they are ready. Very structured, very Saturn.IP: Logged |
GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 10, 2010 09:30 PM
Ami...I totally understand what you're saying with the Cancer planets and clinging...but I also have the the strength to hide it and channel it into work. I deff think my Cap Moon keeps me strong and appearing strong even when I'm not. I think the Cap Moon helps keep me in check. But AS soon as my 11th house Venus kicks in its to stay its in Taurus...so it won't change at all lol. IP: Logged |
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