posted May 06, 2010 02:00 PM         

I desperately need your help!! This has been eating away at me, and just won't leave me alone!

Ok. So there's this guy that I kind of had a brief thing with a few years ago... We've always deeply cared about eachother but the timing was just always so wrong! Story of my life... After the affair ended, he periodically initiated contact with me over the course of two years, and every time we would get kind of close, he would abruptly pull away because of his terrible fear of vulnerability. It did hurt me a bit but it was never anything too dramatic on my part.

So here's the problem. He initiated contact once again, and it is affecting me (possibly both of us) in a way that I had never before imagined. We've been talking on the phone almost every night, and there is just this UNDENIABLE connection! We have this, almost psychic understanding of eachother... as if we understand eachother better than we understand ourselves. Neither one of us is looking for anything relationship-wise right now, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to fight the enormous feelings we have for each other! We're more than ready to give into this attraction.

Oh but of course, there's a catch. We live on opposite ends of the country! Well, he's willing to pay for my plane ticket there and back, if I come visit him this Summer. And as AMAZING as that sounds... I'm a bit weary. I'm afraid it will complicate things way too much, and make leaving him that much more difficult. He even tried to convince me to move in with him at one point! I'm not even remotely considering the possibility of moving in with him but I definitely want to see him again! Also, I have never even considered having a long-distance relationship but am finding myself wanting to make an exception on his part. And my feelings have gotten completely OUT OF CONTROL. Can't speak for him, but it has become unbearable on my part. I mean, it's gotten. REALLY. bad. I cannot function anymore. I have the appetite of a lumberjack normally, and for the past few days have not been able to eat ANYTHING! Not to mention, sleep has alluded me as well. I went to bed this morning at like, what? 6 AM??? Yes, that sounds about right. As you can see, this is serious! I haven't felt this way about anybody in years! Gahh!! Why is he doing this to me??? Why now?? And why am I letting it happen?? Should I visit him or not?? And if I'm not supposed to visit him, then why is this happening??

So that's where this horary comes in. I've never done one before, and so I have no idea if I did it correctly or not, but here is what I came up with:

posted May 06, 2010 02:10 PM         

for travel it would be either the 34d house (short distance) or 9th house (long distance) either way, mars rules this issue. i would say no with mars being in the 12th house applying an opposition to you (moon) in the 7th house.

the sun (you) is separating a square from the mars.

if he represents saturn, he is not making any aspect to you nor to the ruler of this issue. if he is uranus, same deal.

ETA: I remember you saying that he has been real back and forth with you. i wonder if uranus being him in this chart has to do with his fickle nature... has he shown you that he is serious? if you don't want a relationship, what would you go there for?

posted May 06, 2010 02:28 PM         

Well, I guess I want to visit him because I'm not thinking rationally. All I know, is that I'm starting to fall for him, and that's a major problem in itself!

Originally, neither one of us was looking for a relationship but he's making me change my mind. Because like I mentioned, I can't get him out of my head! I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm just a mess!! All because of him... and why?? I guess if I went there and something happened between us (which it more than likely would) I would consider doing long distance, even though I have NEVER before been open to the idea with anyone.

posted May 06, 2010 02:38 PM         

Yes, I am an Aries Venus in 8th house which does give me that "love of the chase." Problem is, I'm also VERY Neptunian! Pisces Moon, Venus square Neptune, and plenty more Neptunian activity in my chart... he's the same way...

posted May 06, 2010 02:47 PM         

as someone with lots of earth and an air sun... don't be hasty. if he has shown himself inconsistent, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. someone who has been back and forth like that needs to show a huge amount of consistency and going out of his way to make it clear that he has your best interest at heart.

posted May 06, 2010 02:54 PM         

Also, it would be nice if it wasn't this intense for me. Because, I mean, really, I need to start eating again. And I really do try!!! But I just can't! Also, sleep is pretty important, I would say. Nothing works! I just can't comprehend how somebody can infect you like that, get so deep under your skin... and it doesn't lead anywhere!! Can this really be all for NOTHING??

posted May 06, 2010 03:00 PM         

someone with neptunian 7th house is going to attract confusing, emotional and romantic relationships.

posted May 07, 2010 12:34 AM         

I really appreciate the responses...

Electricmind, I completely understand what you're trying to say... your sobering approach has definitely put things into perspective! Thank you for that! The only thing is, every composite report that I've been able to find, scouring around on the internet lol has said that even though this is a confusing relationship for sure, when or if it does get off the ground, it's supposed to be an extremely significant, powerful, transformative, life-altering relationship based on love and emotional understanding! What else could my Pisces Moon/Pisces DC and Venus Aries in 8th house possibly want?? It kind of feels like it's inevitable... that it might not ever really leave me alone... but maybe it's just not right now?

MyVirgoMask, you've completely hit the nail on the head!! That is EXACTLY what I'm feeling right now! And actually, now that I think about it, I really don't have anything to fear! My fear is completely irrational and unnecessary! (How is it that I'm just now realizing this?) I mean, I know he's not remotely dangerous (he's an incredibly sweet and decent guy with no criminal history) the worst thing that can happen is, that nothing happens between us! and in that case, I guess we'll just be friends! I really do value his friendship... and you're right, it's WAY too early to think about a whole relationship with him... I should just think about it this way: I'm going to CA to visit a friend FOR FREE, and if something else actually happens, then so be it. Wow, that's actually a very liberating point of view! I don't want him to feel rejected if I don't visit him... I don't want him to draw away again... and relationship-wise it's not the right time RIGHT NOW maybe... but there's a reason he keeps coming back into my life, right? (yes, I'm one of those crazy people that believes "everything happens for a reason") so maybe when the time is right for both of us, something will come of it... maybe after his Saturn Return perhaps? (like electricmind mentioned in my other thread)

posted May 07, 2010 12:50 AM         

For future reference, when you create a Horary Chart, do not include asteroids. Also, you do not read the outer planets: Uranus, Neptune or Pluto.

Even though the chart is null and void, it tells a little about the situation. In this chart you are the Sun, he is either Jupiter (5th house romance) or Saturn (7th house partner).

Mars rules the 9th House of Long Distance Travel. Mars makes a very stressful square to the Sun suggesting that it's incredibly aggravating to make this long distance trip. The Sun does not connect to Jupiter or Saturn meaning that you're not connecting with him now. The universe probably has a very good reason, you're just not allowed to know it yet.

Give yourself the GIFT of time.

posted May 07, 2010 01:54 AM         

That's really interesting... I had no idea that that's possible... that it's basically just telling me that it's too soon... hmmm...

Well, the thing is that I have to tell him kind of in advance if I'm coming or not because I'm supposed to be coming in June. So do you think I should just go but make it a casual "just visiting a friend" type thing?