Posts: 766
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 11:45 AM         

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.. and it's becoming unbearable. Not in a romantic way. More in a I-think-i'm-going-to-have-to-stop-talking-to-him way. Which is truly unfortunate, as we practically share the same brain.

I'll admit to having a crush on him, but i don't want to be in a relationship with him. I don't really know what to do in this situation. He's making it impossible, and making me uncomfortable.

But look at the synastry. I feel bad, look at the way my planets are distributed in his houses.

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Posts: 338
From: Mercury
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 01:37 PM         

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Your Sun is on his NN. You are supposed to teach him something. I have this with a woman much younger than me (10 years) and I think she is my guardian angel. She and I also have Merc trine Merc exact and we think similarly.

Edit: and your Neptune is on his Sun/Merc??? Yeah, you are otherworldly to him, surreal even.

Plus you've got your moon in his 5th, your mars in his 8th. Couple that with the fact that you used to hav a crush on him? Yeah, he's into you!

My suggestion is to put him down easily. Tell him you appreciate him but don't see him that way.

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Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚ (Mutual reception with Moon)
And yes, i'm a guy!

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Posts: 108
From: A symbolic tree, Earth
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 01:40 PM         

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Talk to him about another guy you're interested in, and ask him for advice about it. He will get the hint.

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Posts: 1158
From: richmond va
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 01:42 PM         

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GG I am 10 years younger than you and we have Mercury trine Mercury (mine is 24 Aqua) ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?!?!?!?

Meta, why don't you want a relationship with him? I suppose he's not hitting any romantic houses or water houses (except for your 12th). And since you do really like him as a friend you should probably explain that? Or try to make it clear that you don't want to sleep with him. Like mention other guys like Fleurdelis said or keep saying how gross it would be if you two got together, etc.

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Posts: 766
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 04:20 PM         

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I don't want a relationship with him because i'm not in the right place in my life to be with someone. The semester is over, I'm moving away this summer AND i'm spending the full year in the UK next year. Bad timing. Plus, i'm changing as a person. I need to focus on MY path and be... selfish?

And, i know this may not make sense, but i've already dated him. I can see what kind of relationship he and i would have, and it's identical to my first love. That relationship was unsatisfying, and i know this one would be too. For me anyways.

I just fear that in order to get my point across i'm going to have to hurt him, and i don't want to do that. But i suppose sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

His NN is on my Sun, and is therefore also aspecting the other planets in my Grand Cross (Mars, Moon, Pluto). I think i'm actually in the process of teaching him about himself. Sort of putting a fire under his feet to get him going and motivate him to reach his potential. But i can't fully do that if i have to deal with this extra baggage, can i?

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From:
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posted May 09, 2010 04:23 PM         

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oK, are you sure you have friends? There is nothing gross about getting together with someone you love, someone who's worth it.

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From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 04:53 PM         

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interesting, i have a moon-venus aspect double whammie with one, with her sun on my nn.

no neptune sun though.

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Posts: 1787
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 09, 2010 05:37 PM         

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Can't you just tell him you don't like him like "that?"

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Posts: 338
From: Mercury
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 05:49 PM         

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Yeah amowls, you know it's you, you twin flame you!

Seriously though, it is a woman I've known the past 3 years. She's AWESOME! She's a Libra. 9-24-88. She's young but VERY wise beyond her age, an old soul in a new body.

I've learned a few things from her, some seriously important life lessons, some without her even knowing!

Meta, I'd put him down lightly. Wouldn't you want to be put down lightly, don't hurt him by talking about other guys and whatnot. Just tell him what you told us, bad timing, your moving, and changing and therefor, your not interested in any relationship now. He should get it then.

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Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚ (Mutual reception with Moon)
And yes, i'm a guy!

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From:
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posted May 09, 2010 06:57 PM         

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Yes, see, I DID tell him everything I posted here: bad timing, i'm not ready, etc. etc.

I guess i'm just really questioning if people can be "just friends" when a vibe exists/has previously existed between them? Like in "When Harry Met Sally..." My planets are always going to be positioned in his houses like that. I'm a firm believer that if you care about someone, you never really stop caring about them. And i don't want all of our future interactions to be riddled with tension.

I suppose i'm just rambling.

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posted May 09, 2010 06:59 PM         

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Got Gem,

This "guardian angel" woman- have you ever experienced romantic feelings for her, might i ask? Or her for you?

I've been told that Node aspects can be very intense, and some insinuate romance. Cafeastrology.com claims Saturn/NN conjunction is prevalent in romantic relationships as well.

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Posts: 235
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 07:21 PM         

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I am the North Node person and there's a guy who's the Moon. It's excruciatingly painful for me that we cannot be together. I have been suffering over this for three full years already. We are both in marriages with kids. The pull towards him is so strong that every day I tell myself that I'm going to cut the cords, I'm going to push him out of my mind, I'm going to never look at his photo again, and so on and so on. The next day I fall off the wagon and the cycle begins again. It would be comical if it weren't so completely pathetic. I was so blissfully ignorant before he came into my life. My marriage was blah, but it wasn't painful. Now it's tragic.

I don't know how this poor guy feels, Meta, but please be kind. It'll be hard enough for him when you're physically out of reach, but time will do its thing (we hope).

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Posts: 338
From: Mercury
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 09, 2010 07:53 PM         

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Meta yes. I was REALLY into her. I was almost in love with her. She is attracted to me physically but I don't think she's ever felt about me how I felt about her. She knows exactly how I feel about her but for her, she doesn't want to be in any relationship right now. That's all she had to say to me for me to get the hint. We are still good friends but I feel I'll always have some type of feelings for her. She knows I'm not around just to be her friend. She knows where I stood from day 1.

Our synastry is very lackluster but my NN on her Sun, the pull is intense like the poster above said.

It's cool though because like I said, in hindsight, I learned MUCH from her and I have no ill feelings toward her for not wanting to be with me. We still hang out.

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Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚ (Mutual reception with Moon)
And yes, i'm a guy!

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Posts: 766
From:
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posted May 10, 2010 11:48 AM         

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Wow Crabbypatty.. that's awful. I feel for you.

Is there truly no way that you can be together? I understand you're both married with children, but if you're not happy, and he's not happy, how happy do you think your families really are?

But on the other hand, i've been in a situation in which i felt similar to what you're feeling now. I wanted to be with him so badly i was actively tossing myself into a whirlpool of constant turmoil and emotional-brutality. Do you know what that taught me? Though i cared about him, we weren't meant to be together. When there are concrete obstacles between two people like that, they are there for a reason. He was meant to help me grow, and he did. He showed me what i will and will not do for a lover. What i was looking for in him was a way to heal myself. Perhaps you cling so tightly to this person because you want him to heal you? Because he represents intimacy or understanding, or maybe you see yourself in him? Whatever it is, you're not letting yourself learn the lesson he has to teach you. And you're not teaching him. Just be careful. Love shouldn't make you feel like a watch with broken gears.

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Posts: 338
From: Mercury
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 10, 2010 01:34 PM         

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Wow meta! That was moving! And I don't "move" easily lol! Seriously though, your reply has me in some deep thought right now. Thanks for that!

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Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚ (Mutual reception with Moon)
And yes, i'm a guy!

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Posts: 235
From:
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posted May 10, 2010 02:03 PM         

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Thanks, Meta, that was really sweet and thoughtful. I realize that it's not meant to be, at least not now. Not that we've ever discussed it directly in terms of me and him, heaven forbid, because he would never have gone there, but he did mention that in his view, when you get married, it's not about you and her anymore, it's about the kids. And he feels you have to stick around until they're out of college to support them. So he's assigned himself a life sentence, just about, with the wife. I didn't tell him my views, because the conversation never went in that direction, but it wouldn't have mattered. The only way he's leaving her before the kids finish college is if either one of them is in a box. That's actually consistent with his placements. There's a lot of loyalty and self-sacrifice written into in that chart.

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posted May 10, 2010 02:35 PM         

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Thank you Got Gemini. It's good to know that you have learned from your Sun/NN angel. Even if what you had hoped for didn't/or has not yet come to pass.

Crabby,

If you understand the situation intellectually (that he isn't willing to be with you) why do you pine over it? You're not allowing yourself to mourn your loss, and therefore not allowing yourself to get over it. I'm not trying to force you to "move on" but I just remember what a wretched place i was in... and i wish someone would have taken my shoulders and shook some sense into me. The only person who was hurting me, was me. And i hurt myself for a long time, gratuitously.

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Posts: 235
From:
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posted May 10, 2010 06:03 PM         

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Well, Meta! It would've been swell if I didn't have an uber obsessive personality. But I do. And the pull that I attribute to the NN moon thing feeds into the obsessive tendencies, I guess. But time is doing its thing and I am feeling better about the 'loss'... A little bit at a time. I just wanted to illustrate to you how strongly your friend might feel about you, so you understand that whatever you SAY to him may not make a dent.

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Posts: 766
From:
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posted May 10, 2010 10:51 PM         

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Crabby,

I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry! I don't mean to poke or prod or preach! Honestly, i apologize.

Thank you for sharing your NN/Moon experience with me. It truly does help me see how i'm affecting him- from his perspective. I have to be gentle and not hurt him.

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Posts: 4079
From:
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posted May 11, 2010 01:48 AM         

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Meta,

I absolutely agree with you.

Sometimes the deeper purpose in meeting a person is just in letting them go, or more exactly, letting go of any expectations.

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Posts: 235
From:
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posted May 11, 2010 07:00 AM         

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Awwww, no need to apologize profusely, Meta. I wasn't hurt by your words. I recognize your intentions are good. It's hard to know what people mean sometimes in this forum, without the benefit of intonation and face-to-face. Things can be misinterpreted so easily.

Just for purposes of illustration, though, the pull to this guy was so crazy strong, I used to plan my lunch-time outings hoping to run into him on the street, as his office building is opposite mine and I knew when he usually came out. This went on for two years, more or less. Me, a grown woman with a husband and a small child. It wasn't because I have no moral compass. It was because the times we sat and talked, his voice and his smile would melt me and that was like a drug to me, especially in light of my growing distaste for what was happening in my marriage. But it was undeniably strong, and had he not done a disappearing act (long story, but he's pulled it off successfully despite working across the street still), I would've probably at some point done something very desperate and foolish. So, yes, be gentle with this guy, because he's likely understanding on an intellectual level that it won't happen, but he can't help acting like a lovelorn puppy dog despite that.

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Posts: 338
From: Mercury
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 11, 2010 08:36 AM         

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Crabby I know EXACTLY what you went through cuz the SAME thing happened to me with the Sun-NN woman. The pull was tremendous. In the end, I just learned to not have any expectations like DD said. I learned from her and now I think she's my guardian angel. Not because we aren't together, but because of the things I learned from her and how her words sooth me. She said to me a few days ago, "I don't want any of my blessings until you get yours first." When she said that I thought wow, that is the most thoughtful and unselfish thing a person has EVER said to me.

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Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚ (Mutual reception with Moon)
And yes, i'm a guy!

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