posted September 14, 2010 07:17 AM
I think with the Venus retrograde period I was thinking about the infamous Aqua ex (I've written about him since like December...maybe even earlier than that), and perhaps thinking he wouldn't be such a d*ick, and maybe that we could actually be “civil.” Plus I have a grad school interview in a few days in his city so I decided to both give him a call and leave a message. This time he didn't hang up on me. He let it ring and go to voice mail. I basically said I was going to be in town in a few days, and that hoped his job was going well, and that I had heard about him dating someone (and I offered a congrats...even though I had a feeling a while ago), and that I was going to be in town and I'd love to catch up and find out how life is. Of course no answer. Again being the eternal optimist I am, I decided to go the facebook route. I added him as a friend (keep in mind again he deleted me in June I believe, and I figured this route showed that I wasn't angry about the past nor wanted to rehash it) and left a little note just about how I hope he's doing well and that I hoped we could put all behind each other, and perhaps at least be civil. So I did that...and lo and behold he ignored my add to be facebook friends (which again is his prerogative...it is his profile after all). I think this was the final blow I needed for me to be indifferent.
I'm not hurt, maybe just numb. I really did believe that we could end up being civil, and perhaps the reason he didn't want me to see his facebook is because he's dating someone (HOWEVER he did add my friend he's NEVER even met her...and she requested him!).
Anyway I wanted to just keep you guys updated and say a GIANT "thank you" for listening to me rant and rave about this guy.
He never did give me the words I needed to get closure, and I did feel stupid that I kept giving and trying all the while he accepted gifts and things (such as grad gifts), kissed me, showed up at my apartment (who knows it could have been for sex...or he was drunk) only to still be a jerk (ie not answering phone calls or even texts). I did feel used, but in the end I took his treatment. Perhaps hoping that he would see how much I cared and really did want to make things work and he would (not change) at the very least try.
I was negative about caring about him as much as I did, and had said that I was stupid for caring and giving the way I did. But at the end of the day (and I think through you guys) you've made me see that I'll meet someone one day who deserves all the emotion, love, and care I gave him. And to perhaps trust my intuition (after all I AM a Cancer haha) when it comes to affairs of the heart and spotting things.
So to all of you...Glaucus, Ami Ann, Starr of Venus, Benedict Moon, of course Dynamitee, Geocosmic, and the countless others who have listened and responded to my posts about this guy I just want to say a big GIANT "thanks"...and even though I've never met you (and yes this Cap moon is getting teary eyed lol) you've offered me so much more support than my actual "real life" friends.
So far I have given/thrown away anything he gave me. I have deleted pictures of us, and any and ALL websites that gave tips on how to "catch an Aqua." In the end I've realized I was always enough. Perhaps not for him, but deff for someone else. Thanks so much guys!!!
Lindaland
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posted September 14, 2010 07:17 AM
and hopefully you will find someone else who will be successful in making you happy and it will last forever and EVERRRRRRRRRR... 
