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Author
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Topic: Pisces' feelings - Everyone's vs His Own
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StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 12:37 PM
 
Hi again. Another question about a Pisces man! He says it is amazing how more and more is put on his lap and how he feels the weight of everyone else. He tries his very best and does take care of everybody's requests, feelings, issues.Although, when it comes to him talking about his feelings he shuts down. We will be having a nice conversation and I will ask him a deep question about us, such as, "And where are we now in our relationship?" He replies back, "When you start asking me these questions it becomes a problem." He handles other people's feelings, but his own feelings is just not his thing. Why?? IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 1839
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 02:09 PM
Maybe for the men they find it more difficult to attune themselves to the strong feminine dynamic that is Pisces, because of the way it is deemed by the culture, ie. "you're not a man"
Are you water deficient? I would lean heavy on any Cancer, Scorp, Pisces with him if I were you to ferret it out of him.
OTOH, it's likely you just caught him at a moody time, and he needs his space to be free of others..that sounds more like it. He's doing wrong by himself by taking on so much, and then feels put upon, he should set some boundaries there, then he'd be more open to people that matter more. This is common with them. He's probably overwhelmed and has no room for anyone else and needs to get away from the hooks he feels people are sticking in him. quote:
He tries his very best and does take care of everybody's requests, feelings, issues.
This isn't a positive thing for him. They have high ideals, but really..can he lean hard on any Aries planets, perhaps?IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 758
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 02:44 PM
Just cause he is a Pisces sun, doesn't mean he is in tune with his emotions, sounds like he has commitment issues. Or doesn't like to be put on the spot?IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 26, 2010 02:49 PM
IQ said it on the Pisces thread, I think. You must lead from your heart.Too many words make them go on tilt. ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 03:36 PM
Lonake - I do not have any water personal planets. And yes, he does have Aries Mars which I think he has always relied on to keep him afloat.vertiver - He has admitted that discussing his feelings is not an easy, comfortable time for him. He told me growing up his family used "I love you" very rarely. He definitely shows his caring ways more through his actions. Ami - I think that is what is so hard for me as I like to use words more than doing (Cap. Moon) and he will bend over backwards for most anyone. So, if I need to step back from the
confrontational FEELING questions, though I would like to hear his thoughts for my own reassurance, what do you suggest for me to do? Thanks. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 26, 2010 03:45 PM
Well, Stellium, I am learning that lesson in a relationship as *I* am a Gemini and I could talk and talk.
A strongly Neptunian person will tune you out. They must FEEL YOUR heart behind your words.
If not, your words fall on deaf ears .
OK---to answer your question on reassurance(and you are not gonna`like it lol)--you have to have your own confidence rather than ask him to reassure you.
You have to know you are worth something. You have to know that he is lucky to have you cuz you have a lot to offer.
This is hard but essential LOL ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 04:26 PM
Ami Anne~ I absolutely agree with you. I do have confidence in myself and know he is very fortunate to have me in his life. I will state my situation better, clearer. I want to know where our relationship stands. He says everything is good until I start asking these questions. I have to allow my heart and instincts to answer my inquiries rather than his words telling me. I need to learn to take it day-by-day. My interpretation is Pisces men do not look too much into the future. I am an Aquarius Sun, doing just the opposite. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 26, 2010 05:01 PM
Yes, Stellium, you had it right about let your heart lead the way.
If pushing and bugging him would work, I would say do it  but it won't lol------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 05:05 PM
quote:
He says everything is good until I start asking these questions.I have to allow my heart and instincts to answer my inquiries rather than his words telling me. I need to learn to take it day-by-day. My interpretation is Pisces men do not look too much into the future.
The BIG Struggle with my pisces lasted one whole month, exactly because of this! Ofcourse it was a confusing frustrating process that led to this heavy month..(I even broke up forever a few times)
And you know what..
I really think I've learned to take it day-by-day!
Congratulations Mir  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 26, 2010 05:08 PM
Congratulations, Mir  ------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 05:22 PM
oow lol Ami, he won but I can breathe again! IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 26, 2010 05:35 PM
Well, it IS hard,Mir, but if you love them, what is your choice---- Drive them crazy ?------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 05:37 PM
Indeed!  IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 05:53 PM
Kudos, mir!mir, do not think of him 'winning', think of it as you both are together on the same team finding victory! Quotes that make an echo around my Pisces friend:
Go with the flow.
Play it by ear.
Anticipation ... Can you girls think of anymore that fit the bill for your Pisces? ~~ Stella IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 06:15 PM
quote:
mir, do not think of him 'winning', think of it as you both are together on the same team finding victory!
Yes, I do! Lol, I was already afraid it could be interpreted like this.. so yes, in FEELING it's there!  quote:
Can you girls think of anymore that fit the bill for your Pisces?
I will think about it... IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 5227
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 06:20 PM
i don't usually use msn.com as a reference but they had a front page pop psych article the other day about just this dynamic.one of the things they lead with was that when a woman asks "where are we with this relationship?" the man hears "are you going to ask me to get married or am i wasting my time?" i would think that this is probably not a bad summary of your problem...people are conditioned to hear different things when these topics come up!! and at the same time, as a pisces mooner, i can identify with pisces unwillingness to put any relationship in a box. he wants it to grow organically and not be pinned down like a dead butterfly...let the unfolding continue and don't limit the possibilities. that does NOT mean he wants to be with anyone else, is not committed to you, or whatever terrible "man problem" you may think it does. it just means he is swimming in the sea of your relationship already and doesn't know why you need a map...IMO IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 06:35 PM
You hit the mark with your last 2 paragraphs Katatonic!IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 532
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 06:55 PM
There has to be compromise! Words can work wonders...if they come from the heart... Pisces men know this, but so does everyone. Be careful not to let him make a victim of himself... call his bluff when he does. Pisces are master manipulators, which means they KNOW when you are using manipulation. My guess is when you ask him... so where is our relationship at, it's to get a response from him, to hear how he feels? I've done that plenty of times. Tried to manipulate a Pisces into declaring his love for me any time I felt insecure, and he always knew that when I asked something it came from a place of insecurity so he did not respond, and the arguments ensued. I was like ahhh just tell me you love me, and he was like nah ah, I won't be forced into or or tricked into it. When a Pisces man says I love you, he means it. But he also wants those words to be sacred. Why is he taking care of everyone else? Just ask him. you can ask him ANYTHING if it's with pure intention and comes from the heart. You might be surprised to know that he knows very well how to understand and handle his emotions. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 07:58 PM
E x a c t l y !Words from the heart... NOT from insecurity.. but/and this also is a process (well, here it was - with this extreme need of mine for being soothed) I asked my pisces this weekend 5/6/7 times if he loved me (oopz Noooo, I
DIDN'T ask; how could I forget!! - see the 'past' still chasing me - I SAID it myself; "I love you" again & again.
"Love u 2, love u 2, love u 2 etc." That's what you get if you're not afraid (anymore) ...  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 26, 2010 08:03 PM
Yes, I get that (((Mir)))
You give your love and don't worry about the ways in which he gives his.
When he does, it will be so precious as to take your breath away LOL.------------------
Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 08:20 PM
Lol yeah, indeed! A very healthy form of modesty IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 26, 2010 09:01 PM
katatonic - "pisces unwillingness to put any relationship in a box. He wants it to grow and not be pinned down ... don't limit the possibilities.""it means he is swimming in the sea already and doesn't know why you need a map." Thank-you, katatonic. When I say, "Let us enjoy this." He probably feels happy and at peace with everything. The other questions do add stress to him. I will be going along fine and you girls are right, I will start feeling insecure about his feelings concerning me. Quinnie - Most of the occasions I asked him these questions he did not respond at all, ignoring it. Good to know that this is sometimes common for a Pisces man. I asked him once, "What do YOU want/need?" He said, "No one has ever asked me that before." Then he said, "I guess it makes me happy to see other people happy." mir - You just tell him you love him whenever the urge comes over you, and if he complies that is good, but if not, you are ok with it as you are showing/telling him your love for him. Is that what you mean, please? IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 27, 2010 07:48 AM
quote:
asked him once, "What do YOU want/need?" He said, "No one has ever asked me that before." Then he said, "I guess it makes me happy to see other people happy."
Yes, it's sometimes unbelievable to see how he relates to 'others' with his love & helping hand. In a way I see this as a proof of true and genuine FEELING which gives me at the same time more trust, because .. there's no doubt he will offer you the same!
Imagine how unbearable it must be for the one that wants to save the feeling world around him, if he's being burdened with the one & only insecure YOU! Just fancy that! My mom & sis once said to him very clearly how I was totally changed for the better since I met & hung around with him.
I thought; Wow.. now he knows I NEED him, how confrontating ...helllup!!
I had no choice but to look with my pokerface deep into his eyes, saying; "isn't that REALLY REALLY REALLY nice??"
With all those fears of the past, a Scorp-Moon and a little voice deep inside of me shouting; "You will be used! It's sooo easy to take advantage of you when they know you NEED them!" Trust takes a very long & hard time for some (I guess). quote:
mir - You just tell him you love him whenever the urge comes over you, and if he complies that is good, but if not, you are ok with it as you are showing/telling him your love for him. Is that what you mean, please?
Yeah indeed. Well ofcourse, you've more levels of insecurity and I presume just a little of it will always be there but compared to the extreme level I went through, this is NOTHING! IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 1839
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 27, 2010 05:46 PM
stellium,"it's all relative" this is completely pisces quote IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 96
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 27, 2010 05:48 PM
"Imagine how unbearable it must be for the one that wants to save the feeling world around him, if he's being burdened with the one & only insecure YOU!" Boy, that kicked me in the gut! : ) I will remember this now! Great advice.I have told him too that I am so happy he came into my life, and that he has made me want to be more compassionate in a relationship. (I have Capricorn Moon.) Pisces men love to feel needed. I would never shy away from telling him. IP: Logged |
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