posted October 21, 2010 12:51 PM         

Then, his Chiron in on his NN. I am not that familiar with what this would in a way I can describe in words.

I am thinking he may be powerful as a deep person OR he may be struggling with wounds that won't heal, endlessly struggling.

His Sun is on your Chiron conjunct Mercury. This seems really, really powerful for good or bad.
Do you feel he is sucking the life out of you OR bringing himself to nurture your wounds or both,perhaps.

posted October 21, 2010 12:58 PM         

Also, sun on DC, NN on MC is good. Moon cj Uranus could be irratic emotionally and pluto opposing moon. Power struggles or control over the other emotionally. I see a lot of friction and power struggles in this synastry.

posted October 21, 2010 01:30 PM         

Chiron is hard to figure out. It can heal others from it's wounds but it never gets healed.

Doe any of that fit?

posted October 21, 2010 02:56 PM         

Asking for outside advice about the synastry and composite of a relationship that's less than, let's say, five or even ten years old is a huge red flag. (Ditto with tarot readings, etc, or even analyzing it a lot with friends.)

In 88.8% of cases, it means that you aren't getting the reassurance you need from the connection between you. So you need an outside party to say, "Your chart/tarot reading/my opinion shows that he really does like and want you, even though he's sending major mixed signals" or "Here's how to better work with the relationship to alleviate that vague feeling of insecurity."

Many people say they just want more insight...but what's really going on in most cases is that, instead of getting closer and more intimate within the relationship by talking to each other and working out issues or uncertainties together/in person, they want some outside source to offer validation.

It can be an issue in the natal. There are people who post here literally every two months with a new soul mate or twin flame that they have amazing synastry with...they list their asteroid conjunctions over pages and pages...and then when a month later it doesn't work out, sometimes because they've never even met in person!, they rationalize it with all sorts of stuff about spiritual and karmic and past-life connections.

There are others (like me, unfortunately) who have natal aspects that make them insecure and obsessive in most relationships. In my case, once I come on here fishing for help with a relationship, it means that my insecurities won out and I might not get my head above water with it again. When I was in a very long-term relationship, I wasn't that much in need of having other people tell me whether it might have long-term potential or not.

All of that said, I would tread very lightly with this relationship, and protect yourself. That doesn't mean not opening your heart. But his natal, with that Saturn-Venus conjunction...and his Pluto on your Sun in the synastry...eh.

You are feeling insecure because you still have shaky legs from getting thrown off the last horse. You're also feeling insecure because of this guy's red-flag behavior.

BUT, you can't get reassurance from a real-life guy that he will still be with you in eight years and the two of you will be happy. Let alone an astrology website.

I'm starting to be so skeptical about synastry readings. They really can be helpful and accurate, but they can also be like reducing a person to his or her DNA. Sometimes synastry might be appropriate, but when you're trying to work out issues of insecurity and mistrust in a brand new relationship, I think it is more helpful to:

a) talk to the other person and, especially, LISTEN to how he's feeling
b) enjoy your time together, be open to surprises, and live in the present moment
c) spend as much real time together as possible
d) if something is happening that you don't like, really look at it instead of trying to get outside reassurance or make it better.
e) there is no reason to EVER decide whether or not some guy is your soul mate--just enjoy the wonderful individuality of each person on the planet and, if you're having a great relationship, stay in the present moment with it, be in tune with your feelings, and approach it with love
f) if you're having a crappy or mixed relationship, the same goes

This one looks red flag-ish to me. You're already feeling really insecure, he and his Libra Moon and Uranus stellium are pulling away already. If you are in a desperate Soul Mate search, you'll bring that energy to any relationship.

You know, you could be in a "Perfect" relationship with someone you can really trust "Forever" and he could get hit by a bus. A different kind of abandonment.

posted October 21, 2010 03:40 PM         

That's common sense that I usually have, but it's an easy trap to fall into (doing a tarot reading at the slightest change - that's only good for me when I'm practicing, and feeling non-obsessive, just wanting to see what shows up, but I need to focus more on things that aren't personal to me, for that practice).

posted October 21, 2010 04:14 PM         

You say the "red flag" thing doesn't teach you much--which, fair enough, and certainly you might not agree with my assessment--but, what sorts of things are you hoping to learn?

From your post it sounds like you are seeking outside validation from a relationship--the reassurance that that person is meant or destined to be with you in the future--and that because you are not getting that validation from actual contact with your partner, you are seeking it from synastry readings. To me it reads not like something "purer" or "higher"--but I guess I have this idea that a purer or higher way to go would be living in the present, and not getting desperate or needy for reassurance and validation. The way it reads to me, the question is about having lots of fears and insecurities and wanting them to be taken away.

I'm not asking just to be argumentative, but because I'M looking for learning and healing. What kind of answer to your synastry question would help you learn something purer and higher, and why? What kind of information, knowledge, and analysis teaches someone something purer and higher, and why?

In my case, asking those kinds of questions to strangers on an astrology website is just always about wishing desperately that I WON'T get dumped by email (metaphorically) by someone I'm fixated on....which to me is not about a "purer and higher" way of learning, healing, or living at all. For me, it has been like an unhealthy addiction. So I'm curious to hear how it manifests or can manifest in a pure or high way for others.