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Author Topic:   Why Nice Synastries Might Not Always Work
comica23
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posted October 31, 2010 01:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
I guess that this is one of the frequently asked questions for those who have been into astrology for some times.

Why is it that sometimes, a relationship with a synastry that has many pretty aspects doesn't seem to work?

The answer is actually very simple - it's coz synastry just shows compatibility for better or worse.

Just imagine a Pisces, an Aries and a Scorpio. Pisces is compatible with Scorpio but not Aries, but it doesn't mean that Pisces will necessarily get along with Scorpio. Imagine that this Pisces only reflects the negative traits of its sign. Both Aries and Scorpio might not get along with Pisces then, but the difference is, while Aries would just categorize this Pisces as weak without understanding the issues behind, Scorpio can very well understand this Pisces issues behind its weakness.
So that compatible signs actually makes understanding easier, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they will like each other.


Another reason is that everyone wants and needs different kinds of compatibilities/incompatibilities, so that for example, while for some, someone's Mars on their Moons might trigger passion, for others might just trigger emotional stress.
Also, it might not be a smooth thing if someone's Mars conjunct someone's Venus but actually squares his/her Mars too.

So that it's important to understand each person's chart to understand their preferences in order to determine what they really want or need, or not want in a relationship.


Also, aspects between house rulers can be important too. A house ruler (planet) is related to the house matters, so that aspecting a planet can trigger the matters of the house that the planet rules. For example, if someone has Pisces DC, then for this person, his/her ideal relationship might have to be gentle and spiritual, so that someone who triggers his/her Neptunian side positively might be an ideal partner.

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seeleah
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From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted October 31, 2010 01:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
yeah I agree with alot of what you said....and here are some additional things to what you said....

first off, I did have one hell of a synastry and composite chart with my ex and it didn't work out.

Secondly, since pple's venus is somewhere within 20 degrees of the sign, it is quite possible that someone, like a picese might have an aries venus...they might get along with a scorpior or cancer but they LOVE those fire signs. Of course, it means they will probably square that aries sun...but that is common in relationships no? just a thought...

it's almost like the universe sometimes plans difficult relationships...makes us grow.

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DD
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posted October 31, 2010 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with this:

"So that it's important to understand each person's chart to understand their preferences in order to determine what they really want or need, or not want in a relationship."

My perfect example of this is my "love" for early Scorpio-Moons. They are conjunct my Uranus on 1 Scorpio, and since I have an Uranian Moon (Aquarius) myself, I just love that, and am intrigued by the Plutonic "colouring" (of course the ruler of my Moon is in Scorpio, as it is Uranus).

BUT usually the Scorpio Moons do not reciprocrate my intrigue and interest. I often have found that they find me too "erratic". Me. PHHT!


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Lucia23
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posted October 31, 2010 06:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
Yes!

A few things:

1) Looking closely at each natal is more revealing than the synastry or composite--the natal is powerful and shows tendencies and trends that that person will bring to EVERY relationship, and to life in general.

2) Even the natal only shows tendencies and possibilities. As with DNA, there are hundreds of ways each aspect might be felt or played out. Two twins might have inherited their mother's stocky, stout body TYPE, but if one becomes an olympic diver through daily practice and hard work, and eats a healthy and nutritious diet...while the other watches TV all the time and eats hohos...the Olympian twin will look more beautiful and fit. The hoho one will be obese. Sure, both twins might have natal couch potato tendencies, but one is choosing to redirect energy a different direction.

3) This is one of many places where I think (or at least hope) that fatalism leaves off, and personal choice takes over. The synastry aspects between two people play out differently based not only on real-life issues (the age, sex, background of each person) but on each person's maturity...on the level of conscientiousness each person brings to expressing and working with his/her natal and expressing and working with the synastry.

4) Cookie cutter ideas of "bad" and "good" aspects are often sooo wrong, regardless of the natals. Those kinds of interpretations are like saying "chaste, sweet kissing and cuddling is 'good'...rough, exciting sex is 'bad.'" Dumb!

Human beings--not just us 8th house/Pluto types either--love a variety of experiences: stimulating, challenging, scary, mystical, near-death, happy, adventurous, safe, easy. We don't just benefit from playing out "nice" experiences and "nice" relationships.

That's why synastry/composites should NEVER EVER be used to say "these people should NOT be together" or "these people are 'meant' to be together."

They should be used to say--"If these people WANT to be together, how can they work with their natal and synastric tendencies to have the most fulfilling, loving, open-hearted experience in the relationship?"

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seeleah
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From: kokomo, IN, USA
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posted November 01, 2010 05:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
god I love you ladies freakin soul mates I swear!

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Lucia23
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posted November 01, 2010 08:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
I heart you, Seeleah!

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Got Gemini??
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From: The Planet Mercury
Registered: Oct 2010

posted November 01, 2010 10:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Got Gemini??     Edit/Delete Message
Lucia, that last sentence you said is soooooooo true! My thing is, just because the aspect is there, it doesn't mean it will or must play out that way. The natals will show how each person deals with love, then you look at the synastry contacts.

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc

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GypseeWind
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From: Dayton,Ohio USA
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posted November 02, 2010 12:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Same principal with 'bad' ones.

I had an astrologer look at mine with the man I had three children and over twenty years with, and she couldn't believe we ever married in the first place, let alone stayed married that long.

Free Will.
Plus, we did it for the kids.
Sometimes, you make concessions for those that you love.

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Coffee
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From: Leeds
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posted November 02, 2010 09:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Coffee     Edit/Delete Message
Nice post, glad you mention house rulers.

Sometimes might not work because people interpret wrong. A wrong interpretation can result in blind faith thinking that it will/will not work.

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DD
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posted November 02, 2010 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DD     Edit/Delete Message
"Sometimes might not work because people interpret wrong. "

FINALLY!
I was waiting for someone to mention it.

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