posted November 02, 2010 12:24 AM         

I rang her after I came back from a walk so I was somewhat a little bit tired and could refrain from becoming hyper emotional about it all and I expressed myself emotionally to her and told her that I didnt want to live in hate or become a bitter and ugly person.

I also told her that I wanted her to rid all of her hae not just for me but for everyone so she too can enjoy emotional and physical satisfaction with other people.

Initially what seemed impossible to do with her ego and narcissism she came round to it all and we talked about her vulnerabilities and childhood and even my own and why I grew to hate her. I ended the conversation with "I love you mum" and after what seemed like hours of silence she said "I love you too"..

I think I need to understand that I don't need her and I am very independant and therefore I don't need to confront her demons on a day to day basis and I am going to stop acting like a hurt crab and forgive her. Live associating with her mildly but still live and deal with it physically rather than completely keeping her absent from my life. Prior to today I hadn't spoken to her in months and I sure hadn't ever told my mum I loved her probably for over 10 years.

I think I am the better one here and I am stronger than her emotionally to carry this out and hope to come to peace with Gemini because I am quite concerned about it coming back to me to deal with through my offspring. I want to deal with it now and close that chapter so that when I DO have children there is nothing karmic going on and I can enjoy my family life and develop a beter and stronger character for when I need to take care of my own family.

Here is our composite chart for today...

posted November 02, 2010 01:52 AM         

My mother and I made "peace" so to speak when I gave her an ultimatum basically...

If you do such and such, you will not have another chance, and you will lose your ability to see your grandkids, cuz I'm not putting up with such and such...

WE don't HAVE to work out our problems (this was after a year of not talking - another year added to some 3 to 4 years prior)... basically, but you will respect ME and MY family while you're in our presence.

*EDIT*

Once I did that, her demeanor changed.

posted November 02, 2010 07:44 AM         

Continue the process of reconciliation with Ho'oponopono, which will speak directly to her Higher Self, her Oversoul. This will flow down to her Personality/Ego Self, and accelerate the healing between you.

"ho-o-pono-pono" is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.

In prayer or meditation, do the following:

Call her name, and say this:

I love you,
I'm sorry,
Please forgive me,
Thank you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho'oponopono
http://www.hooponoponohelp.com/
http://www.ancienthuna.com/ho-oponopono.htm

posted November 02, 2010 09:46 AM         

And Hooponopono, never mind the tongue twister name, the stuff really works. I still do this, along with blessing my ancestors on a genetic level, so that their difficulties never resonate within my son and daughter's DNA. I can write pages on genetically inherited curses. Some that afflict only daughters and some that afflict sons. For 7 generations. Our generation and beyond can do without these.

posted November 02, 2010 11:02 AM         

I have been doing that for a long time, without even knowing that such a practice already existed in a culture.

Always thought these steps are so important:
- love
- apology / forgiveness
- gratitude

I try to include them always when speaking to someone (inside my mind); this is also something I have been doing since I was a child, speaking to people as if they were there, though they weren`t physically.

I never even thought about it, or if others do it, too.

but I found it helps to make peace, even if some issues cannot be solved directly. Though after preparing the ground like this, they often can be solved afterwards in their physical presence, too.

Seems this is the experience, you have been making, too, Belgz.

posted November 02, 2010 01:15 PM         

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo