posted November 26, 2010 10:54 PM         

I've done well, although these past two weeks were sad for me. I saw him a few times, maybe three total, and I took the advice of some people who posted. A quick hello, and an air of disinterest, nothing more. Of course, he wanted to small talk, because of my actions. I didn't give in.

It may sound weird, but sometimes I feel him pushing his presence into my brain, or my soul. I'll just see his eyes and feel an intense feeling in my chest, and then I'm left tired.

The other day, he mowed the lawn, and I watched him a little from my window, shades drawn. He didn't see me watching. There was a point where I tried to send him some energy as he paused from mowing. What I got back was so strong I had to lean on my kitchen counter from the weak state it left me in.

I missed him. I miss him so much and I know that it's all pretentious and wrong. I won't make the first move, but if he makes any moves, I will fall harder than I've already fallen. I want to be stronger than this!!! Ukh, he's so gorgeous in orange...

Snap me out of it, please! Any other advice you can give me? How incompatible are we?

posted November 26, 2010 10:58 PM         

The longer you wait to take care of those problems, the worse it will be...

posted November 26, 2010 11:19 PM         

(from the site: http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/turn-around-and-say-watch-me/ )

posted November 27, 2010 01:41 AM         

Your mother's subtle and unsubtle denigration of your ability to be independent has gotten you stuck in a pattern where you feel you can't go off on your own and have a happy life without intense feelings for a man allowing you to justify it for yourself. You've developed an infatuation/fantasy fixation on an unavailable man as a psychological tool for yourself to get to the next step. The thought, "I'm not happy with my life and I need huge change" is so scary and dispiriting, so you've replaced it with, "The married neighbor I'm obsessed with and I have some special, transcendent soul mate connection that will rescue my life and bring me the excitement, validation, and happiness I need."

Write a list of 100 dreams you have and things you love that have nothing to do with men. Leave your husband. Break contact with your mother (other than monthly phone calls where you don't share about your personal life, other than: "Now that my divorce has been final for three years, I am marrying someone new" kind of huge news.) If you can, move to a new place you've always wanted to live and start over.

Be brave enough to leave an uninspiring marriage and unencouraging family relationships without using fantasies about an unavailable stranger as a crutch. I know it's easier said than done.

If you post enough on astrology websites, you'll find plenty of people to encourage the fantasy with astrological evidence, asteroid conjunctions, whatever. But right now you're in a situation where NO other person, however your synastry looks, is a right match--you need to change your current situation on your own. Otherwise you'll always need a new crutch, and your legs can't heal, metaphorically.

posted November 27, 2010 04:11 PM         

It's easier to just immerse myself in thoughts of him, and not think about the real problems. And it's scary. I have kids, responsibilities, financial instability, I'm unemployed, and I can't imagine going through divorce, and on and on...

I've always hoped my "Prince Charming" would come, take me away and genuinely care for me. No mind games, no lack of respect, no belittling comments, no physical/emotional/mental abuse. Just someone who was sincere in their desire to have me as a wife.

I didn't find him.