posted November 30, 2010 01:40 AM            

there's a couple of ways this plays out for me...with the mercury in the 12th i know everything instinctively and am very good at reading the hidden meanings in people's communication. But what I do with that knowledge and how I communicate to others has always been an uphill battle. Like it's clear in my head but I can't get it out in words (i also have saturn in gem in the 3rd though). writing is good for me because I don't have to pass the mouth to get to go.

In terms of projecting this I also (mistakenly!) expect people to know what I'm thinking instinctively...since I do.

as far as the sun goes i work my ass off....to get other people recognition. that's not my intention it's just the way it happens. i spent 2 years of my life on a project and my boss took home an award. it's always a case of the people close to me know that it's me, but no one else does. And with my communication problems i'm certainly not going to say it.

I also often feel like a hidden sun. Like I have a bunch of potential to shine but that never happens. Both because when it does happen I'm uncomfortable with being in the limelight (of anything - not work), even though I do want it, and so I avoid it. And because eventually people stop trying to put me in that position. I think it's what a saturn conjunct ascendant would feel like.

maybe in a composite it would be that the relationship never shines to its full potential even though it wants to? i guess it depends on the sign it's in. mine is aries, so mine is about not shining in my actions. maybe if it were in a venus ruled sign it would be about never being able to shine in terms of beauty and love.