posted December 17, 2010 11:59 AM            

I'm guessing I was a cook or second rate juggler at some wasted haven back in the middle ages.

Anyways....

My south node is interesting as hell, literally conjunct pluto. Yes this has brought me much infamy. No, not really.

My vertex is their too....ixion, and saturn, all in the sixth house intercepted ofcourse by libra, is scorpio which these planets and asteroids are in.

I can say that with my north node in taurus, I chose to continue in accounting, as I read in teh north node soul book popular these days at nobles, accounting, singing, gardening, and cooking, are things my soul yurns to do....and it's true, that was happening before iknew anything about astrology, i chose my profession freshman year.....in highschool.

My south node in the sixth is also true of my abilities....from a young age I learned the perfect diet, workout routine, how to serve others, all these things I excelled at....and it felt natural to be martyr like for me to the point of ego dissolution, but pardoxicaly with great benefits towards my north node, education to be released from service...service is not for me, my mind is too strong and powerful to simply subside over towards my desire to be mentaly lazy.

Which is really easy for me....to malinger, and procrastinate with infinite potential it is never too late for me...and I may parish, luckily my habbits are fading, and the secret to all of this for me was the 8th house...and simple knowledge of astrology...

Pluto in the sixth conjunct my southnode makes me someone who was like merlin, with great esoteric power, but subservient to another, dependent on his resources, afraid to be alone.

I feel that in this life, positive and negative, partnerships have stiflled me, but have alway sbeen a way out...so this makes sense....

My confusion now lies in my future and career....what sha'll I be....An astrologer, and use my cpa to open a business? An artist? My time is split between all these different things, I feel so scattered.

I used to dream of having that special someone or relationship but that projection got so strong it ruined my relationships with people, I had to let go and stop dreaming of even being with someone in a relationship...love seems like a distant memory....

A man walked into my hotel once, I told him that his energy was great, and he said I was an old soul and advised me to come visit him. However, he was gay, and he was also hitting on me. I had to just walk away knowing his true intentions from the outset.

Another man noticed my potential in public speaking, he asked me to come and join him at landmark, but why would I go their and say things to inspire people, and pretend to ressurect them. I know the truth. They are afflicted. "No sir," your organization is feeding of the week I think to myself. I just feel sorry for him, he does not know what he's doing to his soul. I have to say nothing and vanish. Those who violate the laws must be left alone in confusion so that they can creat their own path. Especially a learned lawyer. I fain connection and vanish, showing him that even though I promised to donate money to his organization i had the strenth to violate my own word for the greater good. I am Varuna, that which is unkown to you at all times, but the imminent pervading truth you distinguish on your own accord....your ego will not be inflated by me bu tonly purified by me, and only by my silence...

posted December 17, 2010 07:37 PM            

From what I learned about my nodes is that in a past life I attained some sort of worldly influence and power, and in this lifetime I am called to focus on my self and others in a nurturing role...

AND YES!!! This has been difficult. Early in life I had very high, worldly ambitions but my life has consistently roped me back into developing myself in a nurturing mother role, and discovering my own emotions...

posted December 17, 2010 08:08 PM            

quote:

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The north node speaks of peace in teh 12th house, but release as well. If there is no release, then there is no reality. Our words are powerful expressions of our thoughts that amplify them. We have the ability to say a word based on an idea, to compound that word into our auditory memory, and in turn use an idea to create a new word. A million words in my mind, a million spells, not one of them uttered. That is the way of the north node in the 12th....to die peacefuly alone, in silence, among his possessions of artistic nature, reminding him he could have been as great as michelangelo, but instead he chose the peaceable security of sustenance, afterall, he's always wanted a greenhouse, ever since he was little....only thing is he needs a pet robot to water the herbs.

---

This was interesting to read, seeing as you have the North Node in 12th house, too...

posted December 18, 2010 07:59 AM            

Hmm the NN in the 12th is very interesting.
I am gonna think about it and be back.
I have Neptune in the 12th trine Sun and Merc in the 8th so I am ,somewhat ,comfortable with 12 house things,as comfortable as you can be

posted December 18, 2010 08:38 AM            

I'm very happy I found this board as well. Things were getting rough doing research all on my own, and there are not many people in Chicago that put much into this practice - whether it be metaphysical or faith based, the benefits are the same.

I would certainly be very interested in reading anything you want to say, be it random or pertinent

It sounds like you have an 8th house that's hardwired to the 12th...maybe we could divulge on the nature of that type of relationship...how did it effect your choice in career, relationships, what are some of your axiomatic philosophies that seem to be planted in you vs. the oners you've aquired and made great efforts to assimilate.

I know having no planets in the 12th house except for some asteroids and the north node does something funny for me. I know all the houses very well, but that 12th house eludes me....I know it's secrets and undueing and i've been a foolish person accomplishing much and sabotaging myself....it's like in one house i'm excelling and breaking new ground, competing and outperforming while in another house I'm failing miserably due to my own ignorance.

That's what it's like...and it's weird it's even my own body language betrays me.....

I really wanted to be an actor or director, or some sort of modern stage artist....I like dancing and I love performing...I don't care how I look though...In real life I move like charlie chaplan naturally

I remember once I was at a fork in a road and i chose basketball over drama, because the kids were making fun of me, the jocks you know? I was weak.....I needed them to feel good.

Then I missed a golden opportunity...I am actually a great entertainer...the type that can walk into the subway with a microphone and emcee for hours....peole tell me to join the comedy club...

if it weren't for people telling me that though, I would be so content just starting a business and staying in the CPA field.

But I feel that I may be missing something that brings me much join....

Enter the vertex....a day where it's activated and all of this is reversed and then I feel like a fool for even trying to consider entertaining others, I become super hard on myself, and I study relentlessly....it's a strange way of being..and sometimes i'm not sure if i'm going to be a scorpio or taurus...but I can feel the pull...

One things for sure...I am at peace with people in general like a taurus permanently now. I don't generally wake up hating anything ever. Which is good...I've come a long way..

The confusion now is in career choice....wha topportunities does a 25 year old guy have? I can play instruments, I can sing, I can dance, I can do accounting, I can do martial arts, I know alot about alot of different things.....

My dreams are huge...I feel though deep down inside that I really need to get this cpa....it's going to afford me the stability I need to pull the gold out of the shadow side/scorpio....as i've read...it's part of being a taurus...the only sad thing though is that I didn't know this when I was 22 and royaly messing myself up, aimless, I had no hope, and the future was a shroud of darkness....then out of nowhere I started imbibing esoteric knowledge...literally out of no where...it was strange indeed for me to be stumbling on to alchemy while also learning astrology, especially due to how busy I was with my collegic work.

It's tough but I know i've been givin alot and that's why the center stage isn't for me necessarily...that's why if i'm going to do anything on stage it's going to be with a group o ra troup that I will lead behind the stage...even a record studio, who knows it all depends on how well i do in teh business world....but one thing is for sure....I may even be starting a software company soon for specialty stuff involving simple scripts in niche businesses...but we'll see...tha tplan relies on others

You can kind of get a sense of my scatteredness and confusion.....hopefuly, like it feels, the dust is clearing up, and I can find the inspiration I need to pursue one path before another...it's my only hope to have a fam one day or any chance of a happy life...

posted December 18, 2010 08:55 AM            

I feel good about that.
As I read your post, that was the thing that resonated with me, for you.

Perhaps,it is to be your next step and that is why it hit me.
I don't know but I wanted to share it.
Please keep writing and sharing so I can get to know you,more.
Thank you for asking me those questions. I will think about them and be back

posted December 18, 2010 09:16 AM            

I've always taken it for granted, but I also love the idea of leading a programming team because of my ability to learn a detail and then extrapollate on what that detail means for the general picture...or total design of the software....most programmers, even the ones who are geniuses can't really do that, their just sort of syntax monkeys...I feel I would bring an element of leonardo like creativity - you know artistic but still functional and more so for it - to an environment that is strictly analytical. I've even consider game designing....

I am quoted as saying five years ago based on an extrapollatin that the law of gravity is not contemporaneous and this has just been proven...and I did it all philosophicaly...finding my way through the logic....

It's interesting that I would find any help at all here. My heart is warmed even if nothing else comes of this, but thank you deeply! You have given me warm vibes and some focus...I feel much better today it was one of those should i be a scorpio or taurus days I'm going to go study now...

posted December 18, 2010 09:20 AM            

I am getting my wish and becoming the person I want to be which is myself lol
x o x o x Ami

posted December 18, 2010 09:43 AM            

I feel very comfortable with the Cancer energy.I love it, actually.
It is nice for my high strung Gemini to have some warm fuzzy "lets go bake cookies" energy
Look forward to seeing the degrees of your planets !

posted December 18, 2010 09:59 AM            

Sun - 7.19 - cap - 8th house
Moon - 22 - pic - 11th house
Mercury - 15.5 - sag - 7th house
Uranus - 15.1 - Sag - 7th house
*uranus is contraparallel to mercury as well by declination and latitude

Venus - 22.49 - Aquarius - 10th house
Mars - 2.44 - pisces - 10th house
Jupiter - 20 - cap - 8th house
Neptune - 1.22 - cap - in the seventh but conjunct the sun and shadow of the 8th

Pluto - 4.6 -scorpio - sixth house
mean node - 25 degrees taurus 12th house
true node - 26 degrees taurus 12th house

Chiron 4 degrees gemini twelfth house conjunct ascendant

M Lilith a 12°47'28" 11 in aries

#a Ceres b 11° in taurus

#b Pallas l 12° in pisces

#c Juno g 9°49'21" in libra

#d Vesta g 20° in libra

N Chiron c 4°17' in chiron

posted December 18, 2010 10:01 AM            

My Gem Sun is 28 Degree
Gem Merc is 21 Degrees
Gem Venus is 9 degrees

posted December 18, 2010 10:06 AM            

You definately have a way of communicating that I need to incorporate, or desire too

posted December 18, 2010 10:07 AM            

A soothing effect. Peace.

posted December 18, 2010 10:38 AM            

How do you make me feel?
As if I have found a fellow traveler on the inner path which is the only one that matters,imho