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Author Topic:   emotional detatched individuals, step up?
letram
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posted December 09, 2010 07:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for letram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i have two members here in mind that might relate but i won't say their names.

but this morning i was thinking about the way i am. sometimes like i'm sure most people will, i was kind of being self analytical about my personality traits, ones that i try to understand that make me feel uncomfortable.

the biggest one i am finding is emotional detatchment, its quite confusing for me.

i was reading about personality disorders, its possible i guess that perhaps i could have one that i was reading about, but i wanted to focus on the aspect of emotional detatchment specifically. i don't mean a fleeting state, i mean how you behave, react, perceive and feel In general.

one thing i read on wikipedia which, seems to describe the cycle, or function rather.. quite precisely, was this:

"The person, while physically present, moves elsewhere in the mind, and in a sense is "not entirely present", making them sometimes be seen as preoccupied or distracted. In other cases, the person may seem fully present but operate merely intellectually when emotional connection would be appropriate. This may present an extreme difficulty in giving or receiving empathy"

this seems to be my problem. i cannot help but operate strictly intellectually, Very often in all sorts of scenarios, cases, and just simply in general, in relation to someonelse and their feelings, and their emotions. essentially i think too much in general perhaps, but i just can't help it.

my emotional nature is very inconsistent. it swings between opposites of utter detatchment of feeling, to Very very strong attatchment, and deep emotional feelings.

the thing that weirds me out, is it surprises me how an effective film scene can make me feel emotional and cry for a character, yet put me in their shoes and real life and i'd likely be stuck operating intellectually and can not summon emotional feeling, and this isnt necessarily tears or sadness, i mean all kinds of emotions.


what astrologically could be the cause of this? if anyone can relate to emotional detatchment in general, can you relate to me? how does your detatchment work?

in my chart it would make sense for me to look at my moon. i keep thinking the saturn-moon square is at play. i feel the neptune square to my moon explains how deep and feely and emotional i can be when its in the opposite, though less often.

they typically describe personality disorders with this trait belonging to rigid, callous personality type disorders. all sounds very saturn to me.

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Amphitrite
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posted December 09, 2010 07:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Amphitrite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think I can relate to what you have just said.

I feel I am quite detached alot of the time and I do intellectualize my emotions as a way of trying to process feelings other people project onto me and stories I hear etc. Other feelings I can be super sensitive to.

Virgo moon square Neptune
Libra sun conjunct Saturn
Sun is chart ruler

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BanxManx
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posted December 09, 2010 09:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BanxManx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel attached and detached at the same time.

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ekf
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posted December 09, 2010 09:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ekf     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Letram,
I have a guy friend who is 100% what you describe.

He has saturn conjunct moon, no water in his chart, and cap w virgo rising.

ETA: he also has saturn opp neptune - but that will be generational...but the moon opp neptune isn't!


My daughter is a virgo rising with sat opp moon exact But she is anything but non emotional. Quite the opposite.

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cappy1277
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posted December 09, 2010 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i have the same exact problem....when it comes to sappy movies i have no problem letting the waterworks come but when it comes to my emotionalism, i feel like stone. gemini moon opposite neptune, sextile saturn and trine pluto. i am very sensitive but only comes out as intellectual contemplation. it kind of bothers me because it never seems appropriate

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soulful122
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posted December 09, 2010 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for soulful122     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Same here..

I'm like that, I can feel so much emotion from watching a moving movie, or listening to a song.. but when friends come to me with their problems, I'm completely detached, I don't FEEL anything. Most of the time I have to fake it. The weird thing is, it is AFTER, when they are not around, if I happen to think of them and their problems, that I start feeling empathy.

My Uranus resides in my 3rd house, but so do Neptune.

Moon in 10th
trine Saturn
quincunx Neptune
square Pluto
trine Merc
trine Sun
trine Venus
contraparallel Uranus


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cappy1277
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posted December 09, 2010 10:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i wonder if its all the harsh aspects we all have with neptune? everything else would say different but when you look at everyone's neptune, its either opposition, square or quincunx

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pisces moon
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posted December 09, 2010 10:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pisces moon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by soulful122:
Same here..

I'm like that, I can feel so much emotion from watching a moving movie, or listening to a song.. but when friends come to me with their problems, I'm completely detached, I don't FEEL anything. Most of the time I have to fake it. The weird thing is, it is AFTER, when they are not around, if I happen to think of them and their problems, that I start feeling empathy.

My Uranus resides in my 3rd house, but so do Neptune.

Moon in 10th
trine Saturn
quincunx Neptune
square Pluto
trine Merc
trine Sun
trine Venus
contraparallel Uranus



This is so me. People seem to appreciate it though because when there is an emergency they come to me knowing I'm not going to freak out, I'll just do what needs to be done to take care of the problem. But I do my freaking out afterwards when I'm alone.

Moon in the 12th
oppose mercury, venus, uranus and pluto.
trine neptune.

My uranus is in the 6th house neptune in the 7th

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AcousticGod
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posted December 09, 2010 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would guess I'm one of the people Letram's referring to.

I'm the exact same way. In person, I seldom get caught up in emotion empathizing with someone. Philsophically I want everyone to do alright, and to create their own happiness, but I don't take stimulus the same way that they do.

I do get touched while watching movies as well, particularly if someone goes out of their way to demonstrate their love. It's the big, bold moves that display quite clearly the actual depth of emotion that get me.

I have a water singleton, Mars in Scorpio. No Saturn to Moon action. Moon conjunct Pluto. Neptune conjunct Venus, which gives me my comprehensive faith in people overall. Mercury is my chart ruler, and my Moon is in a Mercurial sign, Virgo.

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electricmind
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posted December 09, 2010 11:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for electricmind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@letram

i think you and i have similar placememnts if i'm remembering correctly.

either way. i totally relate. if someone asks me what i'm feeling, i don't know. my emotions automatically go through my intellectual filter. could be that its in the 3rd house. i am very abrupt and pushy when it comes to others "getting over" their emotions. i know its because i have no patience with my own. my feelings are like yours. they go from detached intellectualism to intense beyond measure. i try to stay in the middle and not go either way, but its hard.

could be my aquarius sun.
moon in aries in the third house.
moon square neptune.
moon square jupiter.
moon square ascendent.
moon (widely) trine uranus.

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letram
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posted December 09, 2010 11:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for letram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i'd like to reply specifically to everyones reply ,just need the time.

But i would like to throw in something about the neptune theory - i agree its possible.

if we think of neptune as the planet that represents sympathy and compassion for others? and particularly moon square neptune folks? perhaps neptune square moon can work another way besides being emotional, perhaps the opposite swing is actually our emotions (moon) is square, at odds, or can't relate to feeling anything for our neptune side. our sympathy or empathy for others. our compassion. or they are out of sync.

because yes i relate ot what was said as everyone else - i can't really feel anything for friends, but i am ashamed to say this runs for my relatives too, which alarms me. because intellectually i recognize that i love them, my mother, and granmother (close to being a second parent) and my uncle. but i can't feel anything with it. even if i think of them passing away, i just can't feel. i jsut "Know" i will be upset.

i also feel much easier to FEEL more for others when im away from them, or after i have been with them.

sometimes this happens with something that upsets or hurts me but it doesnt hit until later when im alone.


ALSO this is a bit of a problem for me IN LOVE. i can't match my partners consistent rythem of feelings, and feeling often love, and emotions inside. but i don't mean i don't love them during some fleeting moment. its just i can't FEEL the emotions taht are there tied to what im THINKING of. or intellectualizing.

i am theorizing that perhaps we are all people that get stuck in some kind of intellectual state taht is seperate from our emotions. and when we are able to sit down and watch a film or tv, or something, something unlucks that disconnection from our feelings and intellectual thoughts.

could be wrong.

i will be back!

electric mind, we have similar placements indeed, you are an aquarius sun and i am a leo sun, but we both have moon in aries square neptune and jupiter. mine also squares saturn though and widely opposes moon (6 orb) and squares uranus widely (7 orb?)


i have Moon in the 9th house.


its depositor is Mars in virgo, ( i believe in depositors, especially for moon) so my moon has a virgo touch i believe, and the depositor of my mars is mercury also in virgo, and in the 3rd, singleton.

i am a leo sun but uranus is in my 5th house and trines my sun by 4 orb, so the uranian touch is there in my sun.

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electricmind
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posted December 09, 2010 01:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for electricmind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hmmm... very interesting.
funny thing is i cry uncontrollably at movies and tv shows. songs make me cry...

my moon's dispostor is mars in scorpio conjunct saturn.

that could explain something. but with all of the scorpio in my chart i think that my feelings are just frozen away deep somewhere. i feel like there is an energy of protection necessary with moon square neptune. we would psychic sponges and wreck if we didn't have the intellectualization thing going.

i don't know. just a theory.

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Lonake
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posted December 09, 2010 01:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Possibly Moon in hard aspect to Uranus

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blugrey
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posted December 09, 2010 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blugrey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hm... I am supposed to be very detached. (And I can be). But I've never really felt that way. I always feel things very intensely, I just keep those parts to myself and I hate it when people try to figure those things out and bring them to the surface. I prefer to make my decisions based on logic... but sometimes instead of doing what is logical, I simply do the opposite of what my emotional self is telling me to do. And then I end up with regrets. I still haven't exactly figured out which side is better. Maybe that's my lesson as a Gemini?

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nordicsoul
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posted December 09, 2010 01:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am not sure about the hard aspect to uranus, as I have uranus square my moon and I dont indentify with that detachment feeling.

I know somebody that is exactly how you are all describing the behavior "being absent as worried." but u feel that the person dont have feelings. actually, he tend to use the word "switch off" when he is in these states.

anyway, he has moon in piscis (some neptunian) opposite saturn in the first house.

i suspect that is saturn rather than neptune...but all your comments makes me think. i also thought i could be a hard aspect with mercury, but i observed that one of you have moon trine mercury...

well, these are my two cents

Nordicsoul

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Lonake
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posted December 09, 2010 01:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well that's why I said possibly.
For something to be set it really needs more than 2 factors, astrologically, before you can say 'this is a strong probability.'
Moon in hard aspect to Uranus is one of those factors, whether you agree or not.

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Lonake
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posted December 09, 2010 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

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nordicsoul
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posted December 10, 2010 04:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nordicsoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"Moon in hard aspect to Uranus is one of those factors, whether you agree or not".
______________________________________

it is interesting. i said in my previous post that i have this aspect and i did not identify with the feelings you all were referring...but thinking twice i remember when i was teenager and younger that it was difficult for me to feel compasion, for instance, i remember this woman crying because her son was killed in a car accident and i felt nothing. i was ashame to admit that, but i did not tend to have these feelings of compasion when younger.

and there is something that may be me in what some of you mentioned... sometimes when there is a long time without seing relatives or friends i dont experience feelings, but when i see them things change... but i think this is most a matter of distance. after two years with very little contact with people feelings tend to fade, unless the contact is more often?

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Lonake
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posted December 10, 2010 05:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I dunno, it sounds normal to me.

Children (incl teenagers) are naturally focused on themselves, sometimes to the sole exclusion of all else; it's all about them and their wants, their needs, etc.

Feelings of closeness naturally dissipate when faced with distance if there is not continued contact (by mail, phone or occasional visit).

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jupitersgirl
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posted December 10, 2010 07:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jupitersgirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have moon exact square uranus but I'm not emotionally detached at all, I'm the opposite.

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Lioness
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posted December 10, 2010 07:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I fess up..

I think you said it perfectly here, In this statement.

his seems to be my problem. i cannot help but operate strictly intellectually, Very often in all sorts of scenarios, cases, and just simply in general, in relation to someonelse and their feelings, and their emotions. essentially i think too much in general perhaps, but i just can't help it.

my emotional nature is very inconsistent. it swings between opposites of utter detatchment of feeling, to Very very strong attatchment, and deep emotional feelings.

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PlutoSquared
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posted December 10, 2010 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sun opposite Moon, Pluto opposite Sun, Moon conjunct Saturn, Moon in 3rd house in Libra, Mercury opposite Moon...

I can be emotionally attached, but I prefer not to, and resist it at all costs.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 10, 2010 08:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

*I* can get in an emotionally detached space if I need to.
It comes in handy LOL
I am not sure why I can
Is it an unaspected Venus ?

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If I am not for myself ,who am I?
If I am only for myself, what am I?

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GrlyGirl20
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posted December 11, 2010 01:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrlyGirl20     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
because yes i relate ot what was said as everyone else - i can't really feel anything for friends, but i am ashamed to say this runs for my relatives too, which alarms me. because intellectually i recognize that i love them, my mother, and granmother (close to being a second parent) and my uncle. but i can't feel anything with it. even if i think of them passing away, i just can't feel. i jsut "Know" i will be upset.

I can and often do feel this way about soooo many things and I'm a Cancer so its even worse. I see a therapist and a lot of times she will ask me how I feel about something and I'll say nothing. I suppose I should feel one way or the other but I don't feel anything. And I agree with you on the family issue, I don't even feel ashamed about that. My father and sister left when I was five and I've been asked to describe how I was feeling about that or even now. And I feel nothing, not anger not hurt...I know people leave. I tend to rationalize how I feel. Like if it doesn't make sense etc.

The other side of that is I can be VERY emotional and its often after the fact. But I tend to be the type of person who bails if I get hurt.

I don't have any Moon Uranus aspects or Moon Neptune...but I am a Cancer Sun/Asc/Mars with Moon in Cap in the 7th Square Pluto, Trine Venus, Sex Saturn, and Opp Mars. My 4th house is Square Uranus and does tend to describe my home life WAY much more than my Cap Moon (my Mom was older that was about it)

I also tend to not feel things until WAY later. Its like I don't deal with stuff when it happens and then all of a sudden I feel everything all at once. It sucks.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted December 11, 2010 03:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear Letram
Describe what you mean by emotionally detached with a word picture, if you could.
I am having a hard time picturing it .

------------------
If I am not for myself ,who am I?
If I am only for myself, what am I?

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