posted December 14, 2010 06:31 AM            

So here is a brief history. We have known each other for about 12 years. Going back about 12 years Bill and I used to hang out alot (for like the first 3 years)because he was a really good friend of the guy I was dating then. We would always end up having really good conversations about anything and everything. I felt like we were really good friends, but I didn't think of him as anything more than a friend because I was with someone.

However, one night about three years into our friendship I had a massive fight with my then boyfriend, and he sort of walked out on me and I was left alone with Bill at his house. I was really upset, and Bill was there and he was trying to talk to me and comfort me. But that night Bill pulled the moves on me, and wanted to get together. I was upset and confused because of the fight I just had and I wasn't interested in cheating (although I was pretty certain my then boyfriend was cheating on me). So I pretty much told Bill it wasn't going to happen, and left. I didn't see Bill for about 4 years after that, even though he was a huge part of my life before that because we had developed such a good friendship.

I bumped into Bill and that ex-boyfriend about 4 years later and we had conversation but nothing much more.

But about 4 years after that again I bumped into Bill alone. And he basically said that the entire time we were hanging out all those years ago he had a massive crush on me and didn't know how to come clean to me about it, and when he had the opportunity to tell me he stuffed it up because he went about it all wrong - by getting physical instead of verbally communicating the way he felt. I had no idea the entire time we hung out that he felt this way.

He said he really regrets his behaviour all those years ago and can't believe he did what he did. He has apologized alot for his then behaviour. He said he didn't know how to face me after that night happened.

Now he is really insistent on starting a relationship with me. He thinks we would be perfect together. He is always passing compliments and being charming. He calls alot and always wants to make plans to catch up. Always tells me how respectful he is and what he thinks makes a good relationship etc etc. And he is always telling me how much money he makes and how far up the corporate ladder he has climbed.

So as you can see he has ALOT of cancer, and he is a 12th house sun. I have confirmed that this is the correct birth time. Now he is constantly telling me how much he wants a relationship with me, and I really though that a man with this much cancer and a 12th house sun would be far more closed about what it is he really wants. This is my experience so far with these influences anyway.

So I guess this leads me to think that maybe he is just saying these things to have the fling he wanted all those years ago, and he really isn't that serious about a relationship with me.

How do you think that a man with this much cancer influence would approach a relationship that he was really serious about?

I'm not really sure what to make of it. So I was wondering if you guys could give me some opinions on his chart?

I'm also wondering if you guys had any thoughts on how sensitive, emotional or clingy somebody with this much cancer influence might be in a relationship?

The only cancer I have in my chart is the North Node in my 12th house. I know this energy is essential for my personal growth, but it feels so not me. I attract alot of cancer, its weird because I think pretty much everyone who is close to me has either a cancer moon or sun.

So below is his chart, and then our synastry under that.

Amph

His Natal

Synastry - I am on the inside.

posted December 14, 2010 07:09 AM            

Thanks for sharing your intuition

I think I like the idea of this relationship, because I know at least on the friendship level I am really compatible with this guy, and I like the familiar. It's easier and more comfortable.

But then there is his behaviour all those years ago. Do I take that as sleazy or confused? Or do I not even take it into account and just let it go because it happened so long ago?

posted December 14, 2010 09:58 AM            

I have read previous that the close a 12th house planer is to the ascendent, the less it is influenced by it and the ascendent should be considered as well (depending on the degree).

my best friend is a cap gemini with moon in the first, making her the emotionally simple with her dealings with other people..she wears he emotions on her sleeve, also making her very moody.

my advice would be not to look to astrology for the answer, but to your own judgement and then after go to astrology for guidance. Virgo moon you say?...stop analyzing, cancers like to be mothered not mulled over.

posted December 14, 2010 12:04 PM            

My ex husbands Saturn was conjunct my Asc.. He chased me like crazy.. I wanted nothing at all to do with him.. I couldnt stand him at first.. It was very hard for me to get with him.. but once I did I was stuck like glue.. Finding it very hard to leave..

Also with Pisces his planets are my 12th... I think this is why you guys keep running into each other.. There seems to be alot of coincidences. It seems as if the universe works to get you together..
With Pisces I also knew him for years before.. I knew something about him, but in the beginning, I felt it was best to stay away from him.. I knew it would be a deep relationship.. I was afraid of him, even though I knew nothing of him.. Again once we got together, I feel stuck, and I feel strongly bonded to him.. I feel I know him like no other, and visa versa.. His venus in your 12th explains the secret crush.. Him not telling you.. His asc is in Leo.. So I think he's really telling you what he feels, especially since both are you older now.. He's willing to say it now verses getting you into the bedroom, and hoping you will fall for him..

Your NN on his Saturn.. I think its karmic..
Also your Venus on his NN (cant see orbs)

That 12th house synastry can be very hard and emotional, you will learn things about your self that you never knew existed. Thats what happen to me.. It was very very emotional on a private personal level.. I really cant even put it into words.. I had to figure things out for myself..

This is maybe why you feel, something isnt right..

posted December 16, 2010 05:09 AM            

Thanks for having a look.

I seem to easily attract people who have alot of 12th house personal planets. Particularly sun and moon. But I was interested when you say about his moon conjunct his ascendant speaking volumes about his initial tendencies. What do you really mean, can you please elaborate on that point? I always thought that individuals who have a first house moon, particularly conjunct ascendant are very sensitive people, who will be quite forthright with their emotions. But how do you think this fits with cancer energy? Because initially he wasn't forthright at all.

I have a first house moon, but pretty close to the second house cusp, and I am pretty sensitive, but not exactly forthright with my emotions. I think I may also border moody

I am looking to astrology for guidance. I wouldn't base a decision completely on astrology, I consider what I know about a situation from all directions and then go with my heart. But it is always helpful to get different perspectives.

Hmm... are you really telling a virgo moon to stop analysing? lol

Yes, being nice is one of the things I am concerned about. I am not always that nice. I have a dry wit, not always appreciated, and I have few patience. I think that could spell trouble in a relationship with that much cancer.

Amph

posted December 16, 2010 05:14 AM            

Yeah I think my heart does know that going into a relationship with this man is not going to work. I don't think my heart is in it.

But my libran core is saying, "well maybe, you never know". Hmm.. or is that my 5th house Neptune?

I think you may well be right though. Ahhh..

posted December 16, 2010 06:02 AM            

a couple of thoughts - based on some personal experience and some cookbook reading.

wow. that's a lot of cancer. i'm guessing that his insistence on pursuing you is due to his mars in leo...like how could you not want me?...i mean any guy who tries to go for you the night you kind of break up with his best friend - even if it was with the best intentions - is not someone who understands good timing!

more than the sun in the 12th being the problem (i too am afflicted with this) I would be worried about the venus in the 12th. My history with men with this placement is that there is a complete and total inability to express or live outwardly any feeling of love. My ex-husband had this and I'm still waiting to see if he even noticed that our marriage ended.

in terms of your synastry you both have the neptune in the 5th going on, so there is clearly some cloudiness there. and you have a venus/nn connection which in my history (i was the NN person) it made me turn into teenage mush and see stars and hearts everytime he came by. It's a very powerful and immediate pull. Like how can we not be together (there's a great thread somewhere on LL about the NN and venus).

BUT - you have two very strong "not gonna happen" connections the first being saturn conjunct ascendant which IQ so eloquently defined to me as the universe politely informing that happiness is not a possibility. the second is the NN/Saturn conjunct. Through my studies (i've had this contact with some other people) this is the only planetary contact to the NN that hinders or restricts any relationship getting off the ground. I can also confirm that on a personal level.

I'm also not loving both the sun and the saturn on top of his Pluto/Karma conjunction. That to me feels like there's going to be a ton of power struggles and mutual repression (there's also his sun square to your saturn).

The relationship is clearly karmic and I was drawn to the fact that you both have chiron in the 9th - so some sort of wound/healing through spirituality - and his Jupiter on your chiron/MC is going to magnify that, maybe both the would and the healing.

posted December 16, 2010 06:05 AM            

I just typed out a long reply and my computer crashed. Ahgr.. anyways.

Thanks you so much for sharing your personal experience with me, I really appreciate it.

So the saturn conjunct the ascendant aspect doesn't make me feel very comfortable. I kinda get the feeling that it may be one leading to the ascendant person perhaps feeling a bit repressed and unable to be who they truly want to be. Like the saturn persona is holding them back a bit. Did you find that at all with this aspect? I havent experience this in a romantic relationship, but I have in family relationships, and its not so comfortable. But I guess family relationships are more often than not like this anyways.

We do have a bit of saturn in this synastry though. with sun sq saturn and saturn NN. Those saturn ties are hard to walk away from once they're there.

The 12th house synastry makes me feel not very comfortable at all. When people put personal planets in my twelfth house, especially luminaries, I feel a bit exposed. Like I leave myself way too open, and this is something that I am absolutely not normally comfortable. But 12th house people seem to be able to open me up. 12th house relationships have brought me hard hard lessons. Very emotional and often heartbreaking. I know it is relevant on an even deeper lever as I have my NN in my 12th, and often the other person's planets conjunct my NN.

So anyways, whilst I am drawn to the 12th house relationships, I want to run the other direction as well.

I do feel that something isn't quite right, and I don't think I am willing to let myself become open like I have in the past for a relationship that doesn't exactly feel right. I just have a feeling that he isn't really being completely honest.

Your last question is interesting.

Do you just "know" something about him, but have no clue what that is?

With this guy, deep down I think he is being untruthful, but maybe that is just feeling attached to everything that went down years ago.

But with the last important 12th house relationship, that is exactly how I felt. Like I did know. I felt like I knew him intimately the first time I met him. It was comfortably strange.

Ahhh...

posted December 16, 2010 06:18 AM            

Thanks for your reply.

I kinda thought that leo mars was making him walk less sideways and the gemini mercury was definitely lifting his 12th house sun.

I think that feeling flattered, and knowing him all those years ago and being great friends, and my umm 5th house neptune collectively are definitely causing this libran some confusion

I will take a look at some of that poetry when I get the chance. Thanks.

posted December 16, 2010 06:36 AM            

Your reply was awesome and much of it does ring true, thanks.

I kinda thought that maybe with all that cancer that his leo mars wanted to pursue me because it was a nostalgia trip and I am kinda familiar. Not because it is right for right now though. I am definitely different from 10 years ago, but I'm not sure if he recognizes that or is just stuck back in time.

I'm not so familiar with the 12th house venus placement, but it really doesnt sound like fun, both having it and being in a relationship with somebody who has it.

haha.. good old neptune in the 5th, rolls around every corner without those fog lights. I have never had a NN-venus connection. I have had NN-sun, moon, mercury and some outer planets, but not venus. I am usually the NN, and these aspects always draw me in. I have had NN-saturn in family relationships and friendships, with me usually being saturn and they have always been emotionally hard.

I wasn't aware that IQ had said that about saturn-ascendant, but it does make sense. I had read the NN-saturn romantic relationships never get off the ground, like the saturn person is almost like the nursemaid for the NN person. A big support, but it can't work romantically.

I'm not too sure about chiron placements, but it's interesting that you point out we both have them in the 9th, I hadn't notice that before. Something I will have to ponder. I really must read more about chiron.

When I saw the saturn conjunct pluto/karma connection I thought it could be intense and heavy. Lots of saturn.