posted December 24, 2010 09:41 PM            

Well, I am still pretty much in the same situation as last year workwise (ie same job same salary). Improvement: I did make about £25k this year from that and various other stuff which is the most I've ever earned so it can't be all bad (yeah, ok, might seem like peanuts but some of us hit the top of the salary tree slower than others).

A few people picked up on what I was doing, which is, again, an improvement on the year before. Single figures though and apart from a commission I haven't made any money on that side, which irks me no end.

Music stuff has come on in leaps and bounds, am doing more music with more people and it constitutes my social life. Wish I could make money from that. I am tempted to go busking/ entertaining in the New Year as I've come to the conclusion there's nothing I'd rather do.

Romance and relationships were cr*p and continue to be, a past lover and past friend that I had never wanted to hear from again resurfaced during the summer months, and the reconciliation in both cases lasted a matter of weeks. I hated those people so much. I have no interest in dating and everyone in my social circle seems attached, or if they aren't there's usually a good reason. Family relationships are cr*p too, my relationship with my mother being particularly bad. Then again social events and stuff where I work together in a group is/are doing well.

So, erm, there's movement there, but I need there to be more and I need to generate some cash doing the things I love!!

What do you see for me in 2011 (btw I've been on astro.com and looked at the transits and some of them depress me). I want to see some POSITIVE news re: love and career. When am I likely to get this - before or after 2011?

I feel like 2011 is make or break time for me and I have felt for a long time that it woudl be the year in which I either "made it" or committed suicide, because I have the propensity to be on top of the world one minute and deeply depressed the next, I get such deep depression and it really does feel as if life isn't worth living sometimes.

posted December 24, 2010 09:56 PM            

But don't ever think life isn't worth living NO MATTER how bad it gets. I have gotten that way too, but I live through it, because that is the only thing we are suppossed to do. I would encourage you to follow your dreams and let that lead you to the future you desire. I have found that when things get me depressed, I just think of my worldy ambitions and my soul speaks to me in that way, in a way that I can automatically understand that I do have a purpose. We are all meant to be happy and we are meant to be loved. The thing is many people don't realie that we are LOVE to begin with. You are love right now.

posted December 30, 2010 01:31 PM            

I made a list of my goals this time last year and stuck it on my bedroom wall. Despite doing this, it seems the ONLY goal I fulflled this year was to make a certain amount of money overall (and this was from a job I hated which was not in my subject area). I got a little recognition, but not in the areas I bargained for and very little monetary recompense.

Perhaps I should be grateful for small mercies, but I have been working so hard for so long and I am fed up, my career just never seems to go anywhere. I feel like I have been shouting into thin air and ignored for so long and I can't go on like this for much longer. I am really depressed right now. My potential job situation sucks, my family and personal life suck, my health sucks (I seem to have IBS and can't eat anything without it disagreeing with me).

I feel like giving up on life entirely, I have had it with everything and feel completely unappreciated.

I do feel that there is a definite stop-start to the pattern of things and this seems to be due to planets going into retrograde. I really hate it when this happens and seem to be very affected by it. Ths outer planets particularly seem to be retro for up to 6 months at a time and this always seems to signal a time for me when nothing much happens or when it is very difficult to make progress.

Can someone please please please let me know if there is ANYTHING apart from Jupiter in Aries that looks positive for me next year? Or when my career will improve? Someone once predicted it wouldn't be till 2014 but I don't know whether I shall have topped myself with frustration by then.

posted December 30, 2010 05:12 PM            

well my life went downhill and at the moment even the band is in hiatus now, but i feel for your frustration. i left my "conceptual artist" past behind and took a pen and ink and started drawing… and want to do something with it. delays and obstacles for me too. but it's the time of change and i'm struggling to see clearly. hang in there, we'll make it out of this phase!!

posted December 31, 2010 05:55 PM            

I must say that now Merc is out of retro I do feel a lot better (Merc being my Rising sign ruler - I get very affected). I just couldn't get anything creative to move properly over Xmas.

Love