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Author Topic:   Heavy Saturn in Synastry and Fear. Help..?
Doux Rêve
Knowflake

Posts: 50
From: France
Registered: Dec 2010

posted January 04, 2011 04:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello all.

*** If you don't feel like reading it all (sorry it's too long), you can skip this part, but please give me some advice on how to deal with FEAR created by Saturn, and how to change my current situation before it's too late. I want him to know that I care for him.. but don't know how.. I just can't move. ***

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Well here's the thing.
I am in love with this one guy, and (I think) he is in love with me too, or at least used to be. He told me his feelings around Fall of 2009 out of nowhere, while we were in class. I didn't believe him, because we had only known each other for about a month, weren't even friends and never talked to each other, and mostly because I am physically much "bigger", taller, than him. I didn't say anything back to him because I was too surprised to be able to react in an adequate manner, so I just mumbled "That's inappropriate" with a confused look on my face.
After a few weeks, I wrote him a message on facebook asking him whether he was serious when he told me he loved me, because I felt concerned. He replied saying that I was naive and probably needy of affection, that it was all just a bad joke and that he was "not interested" in me. I got angry (and hurt) and we kind of had a fight on facebook. Stupid, I know.
Anyway. I tried several times to clear things out by writing him messages, without ever letting him know about my feelings, to protect myself. Things never worked out as I wanted them to, and he was always aggressive in his replies, and seemed full of hatred. Eventually he deleted me from his friends on facebook and asked me to stop "harassing him", and that I "scared him" with my behavior.
This year we are not in the same class. We only see each other in the corridors, but when we do, there is always a tense feeling in the air.
A few days ago I greeted him while I was with friends in the subway, I was sitting and started moving my hand saying "hi". He came over, took my hand, kissed it and wished me a happy new year. Then he got all nervous and started talking to my friend to ask her something about homework, ignoring me. Then the next day, nothing, as usual. It's kind of a "back and forth" thing.. (he's a Cancer..)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I don't think he knows I have feelings for him, because I never told him and I seem very cold/indifferent towards him.
I would like to show him that I care, and get to know him better.. but I don't know how, I just freeze when I'm alone around him. I FEAR so many things. I'm afraid he'll reject me, or if he doesn't, I'm afraid I'll disappoint him or he'll disappoint me, or things won't work out and I'm just too scared of losing him or getting hurt, or hurting him. Even though I eventually will lose him if I don't make a move.. time is running out..


Any advice as to what I should do? I feel completely "stuck" in this situation, and I'm worried.. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time... I don't know what I'm supposed to do.. I'm paralysed..

We have many tense aspects in our synastry..
But I think the ones that play out the most are those with Saturn..

His Saturn:
- opposite my Moon (0°)
- square my Mars (0°)
- trine my Venus-Jupiter (0°)
- square my ASC-DSC axis (3°)
- square my Nodes (2°)

I have the first 3 aspects natally, but with a wider orb (5° to 8°)

My Saturn:
- opposite his Moon (about 2-3°)
- square his Venus (6°)
- opposite his Mars (6°)
- quincunx his Mercury (2°)

Natally, he has Saturn opposite Mars (0°), trine his Sun (2°) and I think he has a Capricorn ASC.. even though I'm not sure of his birth time.


If you have any ideas.. please help me out.

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scrappydog
Knowflake

Posts: 432
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009

posted January 04, 2011 08:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for scrappydog     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow! This is probably a heavily karmicrelationship. You two might not get over your prospective individual insecurities to get it off the ground much in the first place. Then again, you could as saturn also represents obstacles and delay. That moon saturn double whammy is really hard. Not bad per se as the feeling s ARE there,even very deeply, they just have a lot of problems being expressed because you both inhibit that ability in eachother. The 0 degree mars square saturn is tough, you may only hurt and frustrate eachother in the long run.

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VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 364
From: Praha
Registered: Aug 2010

posted January 04, 2011 08:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Teenagers...
Sooo,r u still taller than him ?? How tall r u??
I don't like moon/saturn contact,and u two do have some heavy synastry. Geeeez,he is cancer... Their shell is scary place to be

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VenusDiSirius
Knowflake

Posts: 364
From: Praha
Registered: Aug 2010

posted January 04, 2011 08:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Teenagers...
Sooo,r u still taller than him ?? How tall r u??
I don't like moon/saturn contact,and u two do have some heavy synastry. Geeeez,he is cancer... Their shell is scary place to be

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scrappydog
Knowflake

Posts: 432
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009

posted January 04, 2011 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for scrappydog     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What are some other major aspects that would indicate attraction and/or harmony? Sun, moon, asc aspects?? Venus?

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Glaucus
Knowflake

Posts: 5027
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 04, 2011 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Glaucus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
His Mars oppose Saturn forming such a strong t-square to your Moon square Mars seems like it would be full of restrictions,limitations,and challenges as well as anger,aggression and overall hurt feelings.

The way that he treated you before seems to reflect that.


------------------
No..I am not a Virgo.

Developmental Neurodiversity Association facebook group. http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=131944976821905&ref=ts

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coconutcancermoon
Knowflake

Posts: 100
From: Brooklyn, NY
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 04, 2011 08:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for coconutcancermoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ask yourself if it's really worth all the stress. Its sounds more like infatuation, not love.

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Venus De Milo
Knowflake

Posts: 167
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted January 04, 2011 11:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Venus De Milo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had a "connection" with someone with similar, very heavy Saturn influences that turned out to be a giant flop.

We met about the same time -- August 2009 and had some of the most amazing dates. (those of you who may recall... this is The Leo I am talking about).

We were both leaving the bay area at the end of the year and I knew I really wanted so much more, but I assumed that wasn't on offer and I guess he thought the same and we went our separate ways -- I went abroad, he went to the East Coast.

A few months later he added me on Facebook and we started communicating regularly, he asked me to come back to the US and live with him.

Basically, he kept asking me to do this and telling me he loved me, but refused to make even ONE international phone call in 6 months. So since he couldn't fulfill this one simple request, I refused to change my plans. I downgraded my "move" to be with him from "I'm moving in with you in September", to... "I am visiting you with an open end date"...

When I arrived in country in September, I was planning to spend a week in SF visiting friends... I got a US cell phone within hours and texted everyone, including him. No response. The next day I called. No response. The 3rd day in country, I texted him saying it was weird that he was the ONLY person I still haven't heard from and considering I have a ticket to see him, and all his supposed proclamations, it didn't inspire confidence...

I got a text back within 10 minutes saying "I am preparing to feed 40,000 people and very busy... stop with the egocentrism"... I was flabbergasted and upset and I realized, this isn't going to work, I don't even want to visit him.

Luckily, I made back up plans and proceeded with those instead.

He had Saturn conjunct his Sun, which was opposed my Sun/Mars conjunction (he's a Leo, I'm an Aquarius). Then, his Mars was also conjunct my Saturn. We had a lot of really crazy sexual attraction aspects and we were both physically EXACTLY one anothers type and I think that completely clouded his judgement.

I left him on my Facebook for awhile, I'll honestly say, purely to be like "haha! look how awesome my life is, who needs you?? you needed me waaaaay more than i ever needed you"... but recently, I felt like I made my point and then deleted him. I hope I never hear from him again, the way he treated me was ****** , and he doesn't even deserve my friendship, let alone anything else.

I honestly think he refused to call me out of pure ego... I think he thought "I am so awesome, who is she to put conditions and expectations upon me... she should be grateful I chose her and rush here to be with me instead of piling me with ******** expectations. I am Leo, hear me roar! I am not doing it, just because."

So, in my experience, these aspects compel us to attempt to make something serious of a connection, but in practice, these aspects are too harsh and hurtful. Your mileage may vary. Proceed with caution!

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Doux Rêve
Knowflake

Posts: 50
From: France
Registered: Dec 2010

posted January 05, 2011 07:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks a lot for the replies.

Yes I do realize that with such harsh aspects it is likely to be.. an awful experience.
I've tried to get over him, several times. Hasn't quite worked yet.

VenusDiSirius, haha I know right. I AM a bit taller than him. I'm 5'7. Sounds like you've already experienced the cancer shell?

Glaucus, I know exactly what you mean. I know.. but.. it's hard to break free once you're in, you know?

coconutcancermoon, I have asked myself, lots of times. I don't know what love really is. I know that I am in love with him, but I guess I don't feel "real love", because I don't know him well enough to truly "love" him. Not yet, at least. But I do have deep feelings for him.

Venus De Milo, thank you for sharing. Sorry you had to go through this. Saturn really is hard. Ugh.

scrappydog, I agree. It would probably be too difficult to make it work. Especially since we're both young and.. immature. I don't know.. It's a difficult situation for me.


In fact his Mars conjuncts my Moon, which triggers our natal (T-)squares. Thus his Mars also squares my Mars but makes a sextile to my Venus-Jupiter conjunction.
His Moon-Chiron conjunction squares my Sun (bad news, I know) but my moon sextiles his Sun. Our Moons are about 10° apart, but not in the same sign.
His Sun trines my Venus-Jupiter conjunction, and his Venus opposes my Sun. His Mercury trines my Mars-Pluto conjunction. His Jupiter trines my ASC and conjuncts my Juno.

My MC is Capricorn and I'm almost sure he has a Cappy ASC (I know he was born in the evening). That would make my Venus-Jupiter conjunction, or my Sun-Mercury conjunction fall on his MC, and our Mars-Moon conjunction in his 8th (in my 5th). My ASC would then fall in his 5th and his ASC in my 8th. His Venus is in my 12th, and his Moon-Chiron conjunction on the cusp of my 5th. His Mercury conjuncts my IC.

I think there are some important connections.
But I don't know if that'd be enough to lighten the Saturn connections a bit and make it work.

I don't know.. I'm lost.

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