|
Author
|
Topic: Large age difference in a romantic relationship
|
kfn327
Knowflake Posts: 167
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 01:44 PM
  
Do you think a 28-year gap between potential mates is too big of an age difference? My friends seem concerned. IP: Logged |
coconutcancermoon
Knowflake Posts: 494
From: A Place of Pure Love
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 01:54 PM
yes.IP: Logged |
kfn327
Knowflake Posts: 167
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 02:32 PM
Looking at my post, there seems to be no astrological relevance. I think his fire sun and water moon were on my mind (I'm a fire sun and water moon & I render this combination special), which is what led me to an astrology forum to ask this question.I am realizing that I always come to this forum to post when I should often be in a different forum. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 6379
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 02:35 PM
Soul Unions would be a great place to re-ask your question.  IP: Logged |
CosmicKarma360
Knowflake Posts: 774
From: here and there
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 02:39 PM
Oooohhhh boy.... Yes, it's too much.Experience here with both a guy who was 19 years older than me, and another guy who was 13 years younger than me. Neither relationship worked. The May/Dec stuff very, very rarely works. Usually, it doesn't. Not impossible, but the last statistic I saw, there was only a 17% chance of a relationship with a large age gap to work. That's if it becomes a marriage. The vast majority never get that far. Saw somewhere once that anyone with a 20 year or so age gap will have Uranus square Uranus, and that causes huge issues. That is a generational thing, so don't quite know how that works in there. Hey, if you're legal, and you really want a relationship with someone older, then take it *lightly*. Don't get caught up, just have fun with it. Don't take it too seriously. I did that with the 19 year age gap, and I didn't get my heart crushed. In fact, I was happy when it ended. I have a friend of a friend who just earlier this year got dumped by a guy 19 years older than her. She had all sorts of ideas that they were going to marry. She's crushed, still working on getting over him, when it was pretty clear he wasn't really ever going to marry her. Sorry for being so long, but keep yourself safe! IP: Logged |
letram
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 02:41 PM
kfn, if its legal, its fine.there is no rules in love. love is not written to age groups or numbers, or age gaps. what you concern for is that this large age gap isnt - commonplace usual
typical regular socially accustomed to people etc so, your question is irrelevent in reagrds to love, but relevent to social views. what means more to you is what you must find out for yourself, but your heart and actions should speak for themselves too.
IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 8743
From: Dublin, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 02:47 PM
In Chinese astrology it's years in increments of four that you're most compatible with, so four years older, eight years older, etc. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 6379
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 03:40 PM
Meh, I don't know. My guy is 15 years younger. And he's dated someone 21 years older! In fact, he's never dated anyone his age, so I think it's really about the individuals. I worry about the time thing catching up to us, but he never seems to care.
I would go for it, if it feels right.
If it starts to really bug you, then you know it isn't right for you.IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 5819
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 03:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Meh, I don't know. My guy is 15 years younger. And he's dated someone 21 years older! In fact, he's never dated anyone his age, so I think it's really about the individuals. I worry about the time thing catching up to us, but he never seems to care.
I would go for it, if it feels right.
If it starts to really bug you, then you know it isn't right for you.
I am in agreement
I also want to add
don't care what other people think about it whether it's your friends or relatives, especially your parents it's your life
follow your heart ------------------
No..I am not a Virgo. Developmental Neurodiversity Association facebook group.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=131944976821905&ref=ts IP: Logged |
mochai
Knowflake Posts: 1168
From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 04:04 PM
There was this 60 something year old hippie type in my city who had quite a popularity for going around town and throwing out peace signs and hanging with the college students who were more open minded. He was one of the town celebrities if you will.. Eventually he met this girl I went to highschool with, and from the moment they met, they felt like they were supposed to be together. They fell deepy in love almost immediately. They got married and there was a 40 year age difference. They suffered a lot of negativity and judgment from peope who didn't understand. Last I heard they were still together, but you never see either of them around town because they were both very hurt by the alienation and judgments they met from supposed friends etc. My feeling is, who's to say what is right or wrong? Go with your heart.IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1980
From: in a giant room with 2 little furry friends
Registered: May 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 04:54 PM
i really don't think, unless you are 17, there shouldn't be a problem with that! it's your life, it's your decision, it's your desire.my father's wife is, i think, 27 years younger than he is (which makes me and my "step-mother" pretty close in age) and they got no problems, seem pretty content with their life (i don't know his birth time and her birthday unfortunately). my partner is 14 years older than i am, there is absolutely no conscious difference between us regarding our age. we don't think or be reminded of that ever. his ex-girlfriend was dating a "famous philosophy professor" who was in his 70s when she was in her 20s. but they are French.  IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 05:06 PM
It can go either way....If even one person is emotionally and mentally immature...then age difference plays a huge role. This is most likely the case if one of you is usually under 25/26 (more so for a male). Whereas if you are over 25/26, and are emotionally intelligent enough, then age difference is nothing you need to worry about. What is more important here is though, the more common you have in your tastes and preferences, the better it gets. Otherwise you will be kidding yourself. Again between you two, who is younger? that again adds a shade of complexity.  IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1980
From: in a giant room with 2 little furry friends
Registered: May 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 05:11 PM
what's more important to think of is the mental age difference... IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 05:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lechien:
what's more important to think of is the mental age difference...
exactly!!!! IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 05:17 PM
These things are certainly not suitable for faint-hearted. It requires a lot of courage, individuality (not worrying what others think)and most importantly commitment to get into this kind of an arrangement in addition to what I have already said previously.IP: Logged |
Still_Hopeful
Knowflake Posts: 646
From: Boston,USA
Registered: Aug 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 09:00 PM
well.. IMHO... it depend on individual,
basically "what rocks your boat" I would rephrase "what rocks both of the boat"
I personaly not that brave  . I had a biggest problem with the father of my baby who is 8 years younger than I am. I was hang up on age difference.
But again, I gave a loud round of applause to people who are not afarid to date much younger people (esp. girls)IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 5819
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2011 09:28 PM
I am the last person to judge.
My biological father was around 13 1/2 years older than my mother. He was almost 31 years old and my mom was 17 years old when I was born.My stepfather was 25 years older than my mother. She admitted that he was too old for her and that there really was no romance in the relationship. They were together when I was 3 to 18 years old. He was 6 years older than my maternal grandfather who never cared for the marriage. He did act like a parent towards my mom. He was very controlling type. ------------------
No..I am not a Virgo. Developmental Neurodiversity Association facebook group.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=131944976821905&ref=ts IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 09:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Still_Hopeful:
well.. IMHO... it depend on individual,
basically "what rocks your boat" I would rephrase "what rocks both of the boat"
I personaly not that brave . I had a biggest problem with the father of my baby who is 8 years younger than I am. I was hang up on age difference.
But again, I gave a loud round of applause to people who are not afarid to date much younger people (esp. girls)
I don't know what is it about my personality but I am never comfortable around men of my own age. Either they are too old or they are younger to me. I find it fascinating and exciting to date them because I get an opportunity to learn and grow from both poles of my age. That is how I see myself blossoming into something that I aspire to be- an all new personality. I am always hungry for transformational experiences. So in a way, I would say that despite how difficult it is to maintain a relationship in such scenarios, I would still say that you will always get that golden opportunity of seeing through your core personality and learning from it. IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 09:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Still_Hopeful:
well.. IMHO... it depend on individual,
basically "what rocks your boat" I would rephrase "what rocks both of the boat"
I personaly not that brave . I had a biggest problem with the father of my baby who is 8 years younger than I am. I was hang up on age difference.
But again, I gave a loud round of applause to people who are not afarid to date much younger people (esp. girls)
And I like "rocking my own boat" and that of my partner's lol
so yeah...in essence it is certainly not for faint hearted; you have to be dynamic and not get too emotional about the possibility of a breakup. those signals are always lurking around, but I guess it depends on how creative you are to counter those signals. IP: Logged |
NickiG
Knowflake Posts: 5821
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 09:59 PM
age is just a number as long as you love each other------------------
put your foot down once, not stomp it over and over IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 13, 2011 10:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
age is just a number as long as you love each other
IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 9947
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 14, 2011 12:04 AM
No, it's not too big.
If your friends are concerned then that means that it makes them uncomfortable.
Too bad for them.
IP: Logged |
Alia
Knowflake Posts: 527
From: az
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 14, 2011 06:09 AM
usually if the man is the older part is mostly socially accepted..
but if the woman is the older.. is looked at as a wrong thingit depends from the level of maturity things in common etc IP: Logged |
lindaGreg
Knowflake Posts: 495
From: Bermuda Triangle
Registered: Feb 2010
|
posted January 14, 2011 06:14 AM
Stupid society! I just can't stand those social norms; they bother me very deeply. I feel like doing almost everything that the society doesn't want me to do. and I don't do anything that they want me to do. Forget about the society, go by what your instincts are telling you. Follow your excitement!! (as one great being says). Having said that do not take any relationship for granted - every relationship requires work and more so in this case. All the very best!! IP: Logged |
nordicsoul
Knowflake Posts: 1687
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted January 14, 2011 08:10 AM
I was married for 8 years to a man 20 years older than me. My relationship was very good while it last and frankly, I think it has been the best overall. I left him because i was searching for "something else" a different type of love, but that has nothing to do with the fact he was older. I think he was very protective (taurus) and it feels so cozy for a cancer woman, but there is a point when u need to grow and it was too comfortable. overall, we stayed together 10 year, which were very happy. then, i needed change and I decided to move on. but that is life... my sister marry somebody her age and lasted 6 years...so whatever!!!!our sinastry is pretty nice... so, if you like the person and feel is right for you, dont worry, follow your instincts. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
