posted January 23, 2011 09:48 PM            

That Cancer guy I think is a nice guy but he changes his mood so often, in fact I think he has mood swings all the time. He is kind and helpful to me usually but if he is in a bad mood he could be harsh to people. He could be really sweet and kind as well when he is in a good mood and then I think he is amazing. I was shy when I started to like him but as it's been eight months I talk to him now and I always ask him some work related questions, sometimes he jokes a little with me, other times I joke a little back with him and that makes me happy. I pay more attention to him every time I am at work and I think he knows I like him.

I am a Taurus and I am over emotional. I had some very painful experience in the past with a Scorpio guy friend of me and I am so scared that would repeat with that Cancer guy.

I felt so hurt and I cried after I left work today. He was buying something from where we work and I offered to him to serve him so that he won't wait on the long queues. He said that is alright and he is fine but I insisted so he agreed. My hands were trembling and I felt so scared of his rejection me to do so so that's why I insisted and he agreed but it looked like he he agreed just because I offered a couple of times. Anyway that was alright but I felt so much like it is so obvious I like him. Later one of our colleagues was helping me as I needed her to do some things and someone asked her to do something else so she directed herself to that Cancer guy twice asking him to come and replace her and help me but he refused to her both times and he found another person to come. I felt really hurt as I felt he probably does not want to help as he doesn't want to work with me or something or he doesn't like me I don't know. And I have tried to be nice to him earlier and offered my help and he didn't return it. But in contrast to him, even in a bad mood I continued to smile and to do my job and as soon as I left I cried. Earlier he refused to help some other girl as I guess he was busy with other things.

Yesterday he was in a bad mood too and I thought to make a little joke telling him I hope he had some break off my questions as I was away for a week and he said he missed my questions and we talked a little but that was nice.

Today I felt so humiliated and I feel like I do not know how I am going to deal with him, I would be scared to ask him things now as I wouldn't want to be refused. Analysing it now, I do not think that was intentional but my feelings are so strong and I have investigated in him so much time and feelings and I do not want to think now I have to back off and forget about it all. I still hope to become friends but I am not sure weather it would be possible as we are so much different people and we do not have anything in common.

posted January 24, 2011 04:37 PM            

If you want to talk with me Geri, I can give you my email adress.

posted January 24, 2011 06:03 PM            

And of course I want us to exchange e-mails or even Facebook, if you like. I can show you some pictures too hehe

I am glad we are friends, you are a nice girl and we can talk more about astrology and Cancer boys hehe.

Have a nice evening. Lots of love.

posted January 24, 2011 07:07 PM            

I don't think showing Facebook pictures of this guy to people you meet on the internet, or going home weeping and humiliated because of some subtle thing you imagine is a slight, is very healthy. it's obsessive, and I have noticed that those kinds of activities seem to take people further away from finding real love. Instead of showing his facebook pictures to online friends, why not ask your real-life friends to introduce you to cute, available guys in real life who they think you might like? Sounds like time to start dating.

posted January 24, 2011 08:51 PM            

coconutcancermoon everyone here has right to expose their own way of seeing the things and being harsh or not it is your right to say anything you feel like in a relation to what you read, so I appreciate your time, attention and opinion.

Lucia23 Thanks for your opinion, maybe you are right and I am over analysing and so much into my own interpretations of all this. Although I wouldn't call it an obsession, maybe that is all due to the fact that I have fear of commitment and for me that is the easy way to like someone who possibly might not feel the same and going on that route instead of really dating and connecting with someone because I am so scared not to be with the wrong person or not to be with someone who likes me and I agreed to be with him instead of me choosing the guy I like. It is really difficult to make things be mutual, usually the guys who asked me out I didn't feel the same and the guys I like in some way or another didn't see me in that perspective. About sharing things on the Internet with friends I have met online, I do not see anything wrong in that as long as I trust the person and me and Doux Rêve have been friends on here and shared a lot of insights on astrological things and emotional behaviour and I do not think that the honest and nice people whom I meet online are less important than the people I meet in my real life. But anyway I guess everyone has their own visions on that and own ways of seeing things and I thank you for reading my post and giving your opinion as it is important for me to see different angels no matter I agree with all or not, it is useful to give me many sided perspective what I find useful.

posted January 25, 2011 12:24 PM            

I have sat up and taken notice of your posts a number of times. It's always very good advice you are giving, it's mature, balanced advice and I couldn't agree with you more. A few years ago, when I was younger and a lot less experienced, I probably would have desperately needed someone like you talking sense into me. Trouble is, I most definitely would have more resented than appreciated your honest words back then ;-) So it's funny how one's perspective changes over the years in these things: When it would be useful, you are not ready to take it on board because understandably you need to make your own experiences. Hence the value of such advice is only visible in hindsight and then of course you don't really need it anymore. If that makes sense. Anyway, really a chicken and egg situation.

Geri,

posted January 25, 2011 01:50 PM            

I wish I could offer good advice about issues like this! I can't! The advice I badly, badly want to be able to give is "Here's what to do to get exactly what you want!" And I can't figure that out.

I don't want to give or get advice that's like, "Since you can't have what you want, here's what to do instead"...but I don't know how to help anyone get what they really want romantically...so the best I can do is offer an alternate perspective (or several alternate perspectives) that will float around in someone's head, hopefully leading them to a breakthrough. I am also hoping that someone or something will come along (or just a bolt of lightning/inspiration) and give me a breakthrough in my own life.

I think both the internet and astrology are potentially un-helpful, pulling people more into fantasy and obsession and farther away from actually connecting to and communicating with the object of their obsession. I understand why people do it, and why it feels like it's helping, but I think in the long run it doesn't help.

It's especially hard in a mixed-signals situation where you worry that maybe the person is interested in you but scared or shy, and that if you make a wrong move you'll ruin things. If someone's interest really was a fixed, immovable thing, it wouldn't be so rough to risk rejection--presumably, that person could let you know "yes" or "no." And "no" wouldn't be so bad--at least one of two people would be happy, then! But we are taught (with great accuracy in many cases, I think) that if we "play it right" we will attract someone and make him want to make a move. So it's a trap where it gets hard to take action, and it feels like all you can do is spend months trying to decipher someone's signals, when obviously that energy would be better spent on something more wonderful and life-affirming. But you don't want to quit, because you do want something with that person. And then astrology, misused, nourishes the obsessive part--"oh, he's acting like this because he's a Scorpio and when Scorpios really want you, they pull away" (or whatever).

I want something that will help with this problem, not just for me and case-by-case, but in general. Something people could actually DO, not just wait for while focusing on other things or other people.

posted January 25, 2011 03:37 PM            

To answer your question annaf, I am not really young, I am 27 years old. I am not really experienced in relationships, in my life it happened that I had some bad experiences which put me off things that might scare or put pressure over me. There are guys who asked me out but because they were really showing they like me and they are so much into me, that made me scared and I run away as them being active made me like I do not know if I feel the same.
I liked one Scorpio guy in the past who was really passive and not doing anything, we had a friendship but sadly it end up all badly, although I can't say it was his fault, as I had fault in it all as well. I am sure that Cancer guy didn't want or intend to hurt me, and maybe it wasn't his mood neither as you say, it is probably my strong feelings to him that bend things through my emotional perspective but that I something I can not help. On some unconscious level maybe I am looking for that indirect rejection or looking for signs he is not interested in me at all, so after feeling hurt to try to step out of it and move on. Although I really wish I could find out if he knows I like him, what does he thinks about that or does he believe we could get to know each other more but I am so not confident and so scared going on the route to find out.

I definitely agree that Lucia23 advices are really mature and really of deep understanding about life and the relations between people. It is exactly what you said Lucia23 I have believed and still do that if I "play it right" I "will attract someone and make him want to make a move" but that might be really delusional and unrealistic and I "don't want to quit, because" I "do want something with that person" sadly. Although I do not want to scare him off me or to make him feel uncomfortable. I appreciate your advices, I wish I could just try not to think about him and meet other guys and spend that energy on someone who at least feels the same towards me. It is all confusing at the moment but the advice is healthy and I should probably back off and be as annaf says a colleague and remain a polite colleague, I don't know and I wish I could figure that out less painfully.

posted January 25, 2011 04:06 PM            

My advice to you, is focus on yourself first. First and foremost, without taking into account men. What do YOU like to do? Make yourself look pretty, just for yourself. Go out, just to be good on your own. Don't dramatise your feelings, they are only human. Step back from all your worries and concern for a while. Learn to love yourself genuinely and live for yourself. As things will gradually become better, open up to the world. Look around. Open your heart. Do not be afraid. You are strong, and beautiful. Nothing can scare you. All right? Everything will be fine. I promise.

edit.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Love love love to you.