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Author Topic:   We keep fighting!
starzy54
Knowflake

Posts: 57
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Registered: Feb 2010

posted January 24, 2011 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No arguments for close to 3 years.about 6 months ago we started picking at eachother,and for the past few months we cant seem to go about a week without some sort of hurt feelings between us.I understand its normal,I've been told we don't have perfect synastry.But is there something in our chart pointing to extended conflicts? This is more of a learning experience too for me,trying to see if our hard aspects have surfaced yet,and what to look for in the future as i solidify my chart reading abilities. learn something new everyday
http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/8940/oursynastry.gif

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Betty Boop
Knowflake

Posts: 407
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 24, 2011 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey! Something just occured to me, looking at your synastry..

On the "Scorpio Mars" thread - you said:

quote:
he wants you to perform and live up to his needs all the time

I replied that this is interesting because my ex Pisces/Taurus Mars was exactly the same. I often interpret Taurus Mars men as being selfish or self-centered.. but my ex is the only one I had sex with and this self-centeredness was present during sex as well.. which was a huge put off.

Anyway - seeing your synastry made me think that perhaps the synastry between two people brings out different sides of their personality.

So a person's behaviour is not only about a particular placement they have in their chart - but also about the way in which their chart interacts with that of others and how they are perceived from the outside by different people.

I have a Taurus Venus. You have a Scorpio Venus.
When a man has a Taurus Mars in the vicinity of my Venus I am sexually attracted - but I also see him as very selfish. This could be because my Venus is more giving in this particular area/in this sign. Other women - who have *other* synastry aspects with him, might not interpret his behaviour as selfish at all, or it might not bother them at all.

Maybe you are having the same experience with Scorpio Mars... Your Venus represents an area of your chart where you are very fair, able to understand different perspectives, able to compromise etc. So when you watch his Scorpio mars behaviour - it does not always seem 'good enough' for you.. because it doesn't meet your own Venusian standards in the sign of Scorpio.

Does that make sense?

I hope it does lol


PS. Fairness is a big issues with Venus.
Things -should be- *** for tat. In this sense the Venus person offers a kind of conditional love.. they GIVE a LOT.. But they also expect to get things in return (just to keep things fair and balanced.
Mars however is self-centered so they can simply keep on taking and not realize that they *also* should be contributing to the relationship and to Venus' happiness.

This was always a problem for me with the Taurus Mars guy... and now it is a problem for me on a different level - with my Taurus mars boss

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starzy54
Knowflake

Posts: 57
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posted January 24, 2011 06:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Actually Betty.I was referring to his neediness/selfishness when it comes being affectionate in a non sexual way,and his neediness for me being receptive to his sensitivity..he is so sensitive! more than most women i know.He is the kinda guy that wouldn't mind me being with him while he goes to play basketball with the boys..he wants me there all the time,no matter what he is doing.If i happen to say "nah you go ahead and have fun by yourself" he thinks i'm being distant.He really wants a intimate connection all the time,with no breaks.That is what i meant.Sexually he is actually mostly caring and romantic.Maybe its his Pisces sun,but who knows what the future will bring,he is such a mystery sometimes.Always surprising me.But you make a very good point,i can see how that can happen

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Betty Boop
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Posts: 407
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 24, 2011 06:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi starzy -

quote:
he wants me there all the time,no matter what he is doing.

Does this work the other way around as well?
Does he also want to be there all the time during your own hobbies and favourite pass times?
Or does he expect that you would always do the things that he likes doing *with* him?

quote:
Sexually he is actually mostly caring and romantic.

Awww OK - This is my experience with Scorpio Mars as well I think I misunderstood what you said about 'performing' initially.

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starzy54
Knowflake

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posted January 24, 2011 06:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He just wants me with him all the time.If i spend some time alone or with a friend or my family (my biggest hobby) he gets a little jealous.He really doesn't like sharing.I usually have to make some time for him during a night out with my family,And make sure we connect deeply someway.Like a long phone call telling eachother we love one another a lot.Leaving him alone for periods of time where i'm not there,he really gets depressed.I like to be needed though and find it cute.But its hard to be in my "performing" mode all the time,and i need the occasional break,which he doesn't get.
He doesn't like my hobbies too much..which is spending time with my family.

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starzy54
Knowflake

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posted January 24, 2011 06:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
double post

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Lonake
Moderator

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posted January 24, 2011 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's his Sun/Merc in Pisces in square to your Uranus.
Uranus wants to break free and doesn't understand the sensitivities of the Sun.

You have Mars square Uranus, an aspect of hair trigger arguments that you're gonna need to curb if you want some peace.
Don't automatically assume that everyone is trying to rein you in.
Or more to the point, if you act as if you're afraid people will rein you in, they're gonna dig in because they sense that you're afraid of it.
That's just the way this sort of thing works.
People don't get the idea until you give it to them.

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starzy54
Knowflake

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posted January 25, 2011 08:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes that seems very true...oddly enough he is always trying to get me to settle down with him and start our life together,move on from our current phase and go on to the next chapter.the more he tries to pull me in,the more i pull away.I am usually the one who stirs drama among us,i really have to curb it as you said.

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coconutcancermoon
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Posts: 358
From: A Place of Pure Love
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 25, 2011 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for coconutcancermoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by starzy54:
He just wants me with him all the time.If i spend some time alone or with a friend or my family (my biggest hobby) he gets a little jealous.He really doesn't like sharing.I usually have to make some time for him during a night out with my family,And make sure we connect deeply someway.Like a long phone call telling eachother we love one another a lot.Leaving him alone for periods of time where i'm not there,he really gets depressed.I like to be needed though and find it cute.But its hard to be in my "performing" mode all the time,and i need the occasional break,which he doesn't get.
He doesn't like my hobbies too much..which is spending time with my family.

He sounds very selfish, needy and insecure. That doesn't sound very healthy at all.

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starzy54
Knowflake

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posted January 26, 2011 01:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He is a little insecure.I really feel bad for him in that respect.I see him as someone i need to take care of and shelter..I really do love him in that way,because i know he is quite fragile.I've had a much harder life than him,but he is so much more fragile than me.
I feel important though that he needs me.

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coconutcancermoon
Moderator

Posts: 358
From: A Place of Pure Love
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 26, 2011 01:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for coconutcancermoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you want a lover or a child? I mean, whatever floats your boat, yanno?

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featherlightly
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posted January 28, 2011 02:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
His moon is unaspected by your planets, but falls into your 4th house. The disconnect of his emotional nature to your planets shows that he may be seeking emotional energy from you that you aren't equipped to give him, or that you can't connect in the right way to satisfy his needs -- leaving him unfulfilled and craving more from you than you can truly provide. His Mars in Scorpio can make him insatiable in terms of going after what he wants -- he is a deep well, and it will take a lot to fill him.

His sun/Mercury on your very selfless Jupiter in Pisces triggers the 'giving' instinct in you, making you want to overextend yourself in order to keep him happy and feed his ego (sun). But your independent moon in Aries and sun/ASC in Capricorn makes you need to retain your autonomy and sense of identity. You'll get antsy if you have to be someone's pillar of support all the time while neglecting yourself.

A double whammy of Saturn conjuncting the angles means this relationship carries the burden of responsibility. You feel obligated to him, even when it's not fun.

The synastry has some good things going for it (Venus/Mars conjunction -- do you have good chemistry?) but as flattering as it is to be 'needed' by someone so much, that's the sort of thing that breeds codependency instead of a healthy relationship.

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starzy54
Knowflake

Posts: 57
From:
Registered: Feb 2010

posted January 28, 2011 03:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by featherlightly:
His moon is unaspected by your planets, but falls into your 4th house. The disconnect of his emotional nature to your planets shows that he may be seeking emotional energy from you that you aren't equipped to give him, or that you can't connect in the right way to satisfy his needs -- leaving him unfulfilled and craving more from you than you can truly provide. His Mars in Scorpio can make him insatiable in terms of going after what he wants -- he is a deep well, and it will take a lot to fill him.

His sun/Mercury on your very selfless Jupiter in Pisces triggers the 'giving' instinct in you, making you want to overextend yourself in order to keep him happy and feed his ego (sun). But your independent moon in Aries and sun/ASC in Capricorn makes you need to retain your autonomy and sense of identity. You'll get antsy if you have to be someone's pillar of support all the time while neglecting yourself.

A double whammy of Saturn conjuncting the angles means this relationship carries the burden of responsibility. You feel obligated to him, even when it's not fun.

The synastry has some good things going for it (Venus/Mars conjunction -- do you have good chemistry?) but as flattering as it is to be 'needed' by someone so much, that's the sort of thing that breeds codependency instead of a healthy relationship.


Yes that makes a lot of sense.He is so very emotional,and I tend to put my emotions on the back burner.He really thinks I'm the center of his life,And I'm always telling him to try to get his happiness and satisfaction from other parts of his life and not depend on me to do it all.We have very good chemistry actually.We both have a rather insatiable appetite for one another,but him more so than me.We can talk for hours on end,and are always attracted to each other almost magnetically.We admire each others qualities.Thank you for that very concise interpretation.

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Dreamy_AriesGirl
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posted January 28, 2011 04:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreamy_AriesGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your Jupiter conjunct his Sun/Mercury conjunction, so i can imagine that he feels MUCH more self-confident in your presence. Maybe its also the reason why he wants you to be with him all the time.

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starzy54
Knowflake

Posts: 57
From:
Registered: Feb 2010

posted January 28, 2011 04:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starzy54     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dreamy_AriesGirl:
Your Jupiter conjunct his Sun/Mercury conjunction, so i can imagine that he feels MUCH more self-confident in your presence. Maybe its also the reason why he wants you to be with him all the time.

Yes,mentions that all the time.I make him feel important,his words exactly.

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