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Author
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Topic: Friends with benefits. FOB
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1624
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 03, 2011 10:54 PM
  
I was wondering what aspects would show, friends with benefits. Basically where neither one of them want a relationship AT ALL with the other, BUT they both basically use each other for sex. They meet just for sex and then go their own way, until next time.. Do you have/had some one like this.. What do you think was the aspect? IP: Logged |
danjor73
Knowflake Posts: 27
From: Philadelphia, PA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 03, 2011 11:20 PM
Wow Lioness... great question.I am wondering if this is in the charts that I posted. He does not want a relationship due to his extremely hectic truck driving schedule. He is away sometimes a week at a time and generally puts in 10 to 14 hr days. Although he said he didn't want a relationship, he wants to see if love will grow. Well, things have turned into an FWB, but he does not want to even entertain the term. Yet, that it what it "seems" to amount to. Sigh... not sure if it is a Sun thing because his venus and mars seem to contradict such behavior. Maybe there is fear and insecurity housed somewhere in his chart that led to FWB because it is safe. All in all a great question and we may see that the drive towards FWB may very well be insecurity and immaturity traits within certain aspects. When coupled with certain partner aspects, it may exacerbate the drive to remain unsettled.
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1624
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 03, 2011 11:28 PM
Im wondering you want a relationship with him?I admit I had a FOB before.. lol shhh dont tell anyone.. Well honestly I never saw him as a romantic partner.. Im pretty sure he didnt either.. We basically would meet just for sex. Nothing else...
I know karma karma karma.. But hey I have Uranus in the 7th..
I dont know his birth time though..
I dont call him anymore, and I changed my number, so he cant call me, if he wanted to. Anyways
we have a both way Venus opposite Mars
my venus sq his Uranus
his moon conjunt my mars
his lust conjunt my MC
my lust sq his venus
Humm though
the Composite has Uranus conjunt Mars and then both opps Venus...
I wonder if that could be it?
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dysfunctionalmystic
Knowflake Posts: 152
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 04, 2011 06:55 AM
I know aspects in the composite between veuns and uranus can indicate a higher than average need for freedom IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 6025
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 04, 2011 08:09 AM
Interesting question,Lioness
I will think about it and be back.The most obvious thing would be a strong Uranus in synastry combined with few personal planet aspects.
I suppose you could add strong attraction aspects ,too,perhaps.
However,maybe there would NOT be that strong attraction aspects cuz these could propel it OUT of a FWB relationship lol------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You have to be strong enough to be gentle.Peace through strength,ALWAYS
Me IP: Logged |
Cynnared
Knowflake Posts: 701
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 03:00 PM
Oh a sexual fix. Tried and found out it was not for me though my 5th house Uranus may have had fun with it. I think the guy was a Cancer with a Pisces moon from the Netherlands.I nearly got another fix but broke his heart because he wanted another mistress in his life and I don't do stuff like that. He was also a Cancer man July 8/64 Winnepeg, MN. I think what gave him the wants to have free love vibe was his mars and venus in Gemini. Flirtatious and charming which I think overrode his sensitive sun and moon in cancer. I also think he was a Saggy Rising - so I guess he had the love the one your with motto. His wife was a Sag with a cancer moon and after having their last child she gave up on sex or something. Didn't want to have it any more. When that happens, some men usually tend to stray to another woman to fulfill his sexual needs.
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Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 444
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 05:48 PM
I didn't realise people saw "friends with benefits" as a sexual fix or a bootie call.Maybe it's my 11th Venus - I always interpreted this as an *actual* friend - whom I would also have sex with - not someone I meet purely for sex, but someone I also talk to and hang out with as a friend. After me and my ex Sag broke up, we stayed friends and still had sex a handful of times. But there were/are no feelings of love left between us.
I could always have this kind of relationship with him.
Maybe it's because his Mars is on my Moon. It's very easy to have sex with him. I couldn't have sex with someone, if i am emotionally distanced from them. I know Sag guy really well and I have feelings of friendship for him.
If I have NO feelings towards someone or -- very detached feelings... as I'd have for an acquaintance, then I can't have sex. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 4584
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 06:31 PM
My closest relationship to this, a situation where we both knew there was a finite time on the relationship, she was an Aquarian-influence Aries, and I'm a Sagittarian-influenced Capricorn. I wouldn't say there was a great connection, but both parties being mature, there were never any issues, and I think when the time came for her to move I think she was fairly sentimental about us.IP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 307
From: Portland, OR USA
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 09:22 PM
There is no such thing as FOB where someone doesn't end up liking the other. I'm not sure what would show FWB, but I think that Uranus would be the planet to look at, especially it's house layovers and it's aspects to Venus and/or NeptuneIP: Logged |
JohnFKennedy
Knowflake Posts: 154
From: US
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 09:32 PM
In my FOB relationship, my Venus is squared everything in his chart across the board, with a lone 1 orb trine to his Mars, which I think is kind of hilarious. I would probably never want a relationship with him, though I have no idea how he feels about it being a Scorpio asc and Capricorn sun. IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 1624
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted February 09, 2011 10:17 PM
Well the one guy, that I agreed to be a fob with, we did talk and were "friends" not good friends, and not buddy buddy..
We both agreed just to have sex, and not get emotionally involved, which is what we both did.. Me/him sun leo/aqua
moon leo/leo
venus can/aqua
mars leo/cap
merc leo/aqua Talk about total opposites! (except the moon) I never fell for him, or got feelings for him.. I just didnt see him that way..
Although I have to admit, he was gorgeous!
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cappy1277
Knowflake Posts: 455
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:10 PM
Do you think that maybe we could equate it more to natal aspects than synastry? IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 1103
From: Firey Jupiter
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:26 PM
I only have friends with benefits. My chart screams this! IP: Logged |
cappy1277
Knowflake Posts: 455
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 09, 2011 11:49 PM
I would think that someone with strong uranian themes in their chart would show someone who's comfortable with that and life has a funny way attracting like minded people into our life. In my commitment phobe 20' how I chose to deal with men but as I got older, it grew old and tiring. IP: Logged |
roadwarriorsdp
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 10, 2011 12:00 AM
I've never experienced this and I have uranus in the seventh house conjunct mercury...IP: Logged |
roadwarriorsdp
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 10, 2011 12:01 AM
it's conjunct the decendant too...in sagitarius probably the horniest of all signs...interesting I must be a prude.IP: Logged |
specialistangel
Newflake Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted February 10, 2011 12:01 AM
I wouldn't choose to have friends with benefits, those aren't friends and the benefits aren't worth it, not to me at least, so, not for me. I only want real friends, and real benefits. I guess having a cappy mars makes me that way, really loyal with my benefits and stuff, and the sun in the 11th house makes for some gooooood friends. IP: Logged |
JohnFKennedy
Knowflake Posts: 154
From: US
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted February 10, 2011 12:06 AM
I don't know if it's natally, I do feel it's a combined energy that two charts ends up producing. I've always thought the idea of friends with benefits crude when I was younger, I'm pretty much incapable of being intimate with anyone unless I've known them for a prolonged period of time. I always try to avoid relationships - but it's because I prefer to wait for someone that I know is worth my time instead of wasting it being someone I don't love that muchs "girlfriend". But every now and then certain NEEDS have to be met - although otherwise I'm pretty chaste. I wonder if that's the Virgo ascendant and a grand trine in earth with Saturn talking? IP: Logged |
cappy1277
Knowflake Posts: 455
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 10, 2011 12:17 AM
I have cappy mars too but my venus is in aquarius...don't give it out freely as some interps would have some believe but that's the restraint from my mars I suppose. IP: Logged |
roadwarriorsdp
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 10, 2011 12:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by specialistangel:
I wouldn't choose to have friends with benefits, those aren't friends and the benefits aren't worth it, not to me at least, so, not for me. I only want real friends, and real benefits. I guess having a cappy mars makes me that way, really loyal with my benefits and stuff, and the sun in the 11th house makes for some gooooood friends.
I have jupiter in capricorn and sun there too, and I will say saturn in scorpio in the sixth house makes me very stand off ish until i know a person for atleast a month to year.
IP: Logged |
roadwarriorsdp
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 10, 2011 12:27 AM
I'm too scared to do friends with benefits, and it's not even herpes that scares me...it's hepatitis and hpv as well as the remote possibility of aids.... I'd have a short term relationship that is exlusive... IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 1103
From: Firey Jupiter
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 10, 2011 01:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by cappy1277:
I would think that someone with strong uranian themes in their chart would show someone who's comfortable with that.
Say no more, Uranus in Sag. in the 1st, opposite Venus in Gemini in the 7th H. IP: Logged |
vertiver
Knowflake Posts: 1103
From: Firey Jupiter
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 10, 2011 01:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by roadwarriorsdp:
I'm too scared to do friends with benefits, and it's not even herpes that scares me...it's hepatitis and hpv as well as the remote possibility of aids.... I'd have a short term relationship that is exlusive...
Hmmm... There is such a thing as condoms, and asking your sexual partner if they've been tested.
IP: Logged |
roadwarriorsdp
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 10, 2011 01:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by vertiver:
Hmmm... There is such a thing as condoms, and asking your sexual partner if they've been tested.
I don't want to use a codom, 90% of the time it breaks anyways.... It only takes one break and I don't want to risk it....and I dont' trust other peoples responses. By the way I get cold sores on my lip, my grandmother gave me herpes in the mouth by kissing me on the lips when I was just a baby... Besides I'm doing great being celibant, as in not even touching myself...but it takes hours of meditation everyday...luckily for me the economy is doing bad and i have this opportunity to study...plus in terms of wroldy gain i'm somewhat unambitious, i do believe i'll probably be a traveling mystic one day, after my parents are taken care of....ill consider one night stands then...most likely. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 444
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 10, 2011 04:07 AM
For the person who mentioned Cap Mars and Sun in the 11th - and the second person who had Cap Mars & Venus in Aquarius...I also have Capricorn Mars and Venus (and Sun) in the 11th. From my perspective - a friend has to be a real friend for me to call them a friend. You mentioned "good friends". I have good friends. BUT I could also be sexually attracted to a good friend. Would I stir clear of having sex with him? I honestly see no reason not to have sex with him - if we both felt like it. Why would I have a greater risk of getting STDS from someone I've known for years - someone who is my FRIEND?
I'd know their sexual history. I'd actually know them better than I would know a BF... Because my male friends get closer to me than the men I actually become romantically involved with. IP: Logged |
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