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Author
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Topic: how one sided was the attraction?
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mel0nfish
Knowflake Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 26, 2011 03:05 PM
  
could somebody please read our synastry? i like this guy so much, but I made him angry and now he hates me/won't even talk to me! and i feel so sad about it, but did he even care about me? i apologized and want to talk to him about it, but he won't. how could he avoid me if he had any feelings for me?! also i can't tell if he's hurt and that's why he's avoiding me or if he's angry and wants to make me hurt by not talking to me....or if it's more like, "i don't want to deal with her" buhhh  IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 551
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted February 27, 2011 10:37 AM
I'm looking that mercury/neptune conjunction as a culprit.Who's who? Who's on the outside and inside? Can you give a bit more detail on the argument? IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 27, 2011 03:33 PM
Synastry analysis can't tell you whether people will be interested in each other. Your synastry would look the same if you were both three years old as it does when you're thirty--feelings change over the course of a lifetime, attractions flip, and some people will never connect no matter how their synastry looks.In this case, I don't know who's who, but however each of you are feelings, the Neptune conjunct the 12th house Mercury stellium, AND the Neptune-Sun opposition would make things murky, foggy, and prone to delusion and confusion. Both people have tricky natal Neptune action going on, and then that's exacerbated by the Neptune triggers in the synastry. That Uranus-Saturn to Mars conjunction in over-blunt Sagittarius could lead to flare-ups of anger between the two of you. Mars could feel pressured, judged, and disapproved of by Saturn, and this could come as an infuriating surprise (because of Uranus in the mix.) The Cancer's natal Sun is incompatible with that freedom-loving Sag Moon, both natally and in the synastry. It could trigger discomfort and strife. Unfortunately, sometimes obstacles to the relationship become the dynamic and flavor of the whole relationship. I think that happened here. Those synastry triggers could make your frustration with each other feel very important. I would guess that for BOTH sides, frustration was mixed with any attraction. BOTH people would be confused by the Neptune and have a tough time communicating clearly, or even wanting to communicate clearly. IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 27, 2011 03:33 PM
It double-posted, sorry.If he's the Cancer person, he may feel a combination of hurt and confusion...not wanting to consciously hurt you (the Aqua?) back, but feeling too much conflict and discomfort and frustration to want to continue a relationship, even to the point of sorting it out. If you're the Cancer, I guess that hurt dynamic is playing out for you now? Sometimes when someone doesn't want to work things out, it doesn't mean they either are trying to hurt you or don't care at all...it can mean they are immobilized by mixed but unpleasant feelings, and it's too hard to try to work it out. I think that's going on in this case. The Cancer (because of Sun-Neptune, natal tension around the Sag Moon, natal tension with Gem Venus-Cancer Sun, and the Sag Saturn-Uranus conjunction) takes things REALLY HARD, and then feels self-punishing for taking things that hard. It's a natal thing that will come up in many relationships. To ride it out, the Cancer would need to be with a partner whose Sun made felicitous aspects with his/her Moon and whose Moon was compatible with the watery Sun, I think...someone else with a water-fire combo who could help ride out those tensions, and would not trigger that Saturn. IP: Logged |
mel0nfish
Knowflake Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 28, 2011 09:12 AM
sorry, I'm on the inside (the aqua) and the argument....well, it was all very confusing! and it did blow up. it was all my fault, i was angry at how confusing everything was and that he wasn't being clear about his feelings.but the thing is he was being clear! and i was the one confusing him, i think because I can't read people well and kept waiting for him to say something verbally...a definitive assurance that it wasn't all in my head (i kept convincing myself it was) but now that I realize that I was the one evading him...and that I hurt him and am ready to be clear he won't let me!! i saw him the other day and he avoided me the whole time, but made it clear he was having a blast... but i kind of did the same thing too. idk why i want it to work so badly!! but i can't put myself out there any more than I have (i feel like my ego has taken many bruises) IP: Logged |
GrlyGirl20
Knowflake Posts: 348
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 28, 2011 11:49 AM
I'm sorry hun...speaking as a Cancer who actually has dated Aquas before I've actually had a similar problem like you. Except it was the other way around (I think the culprit being the pesky Mercury in Water for them, and mine being in Leo). Anyway I would say that he won't hold a grudge for too long (due to the Sag Moon). HOWEVER being that he is a Cancer he will be cautious and I actually doubt if he'll ever let you "in" again. But he will end up being his Sag Moon to you and he won't hold a grudge. I wouldn't take it as him not caring. In fact the opposite. The only reason he is not talking to you is because you upset him and hurt him. So that is why he walked away (and trust me I asked that same question with one Aqua I dealt with...except he was the one that wouldn't talk to me...he basically did all that you are saying the Cancer is doing. I took that as not caring). I can see that you do care for this guy as even though you are an Aqua you have a TON of stuff in Capricorn (if I'm reading this correctly). And he doesn't. That might be why you are willing to work on things instead of being the typical Aqua and bailing when things get hard. Anyway I wish you luck...I'll write more when I have more time. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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