posted March 07, 2011 06:32 PM            

Now I havent been with him more than a few weeks. Before we got together and leading into the first few weeks of the relationship he was exactly what you'd imagain a cancer man to be. Charming and sweet, he acted like I was some kinda princess, I even remember him once telling me I was perfect. He asked me twice, within the space of ten muinets to be his girlfriend and I just couldn't turn him down, he was adorable!
I wasnt even with him a week and he was telling me he loved me...which I took with a heavy pinch of salt.

Then all of a sudden he had a huge strop at me, over nothing! We had a minor disagreement over me going to his and he acted like it was a decleration of war. Said he wasnt sure he even wanted to be together anymore, he was tired of arguing with me (...errr what?) and blew it way out of proportian.
I left him alone overnight, he was still in a mood, left him alone over the weekend and he didnt really wanna speek to me, then all of a sudden he started texting me and acted like nothing had happened, I tried to approch the subject and he just batted it off like it was never an issue.

He was fine after that, I just learnt that he had a short straw and I shouldnt pull it too hard. Then he introduced me to his mum and dad. Although hed spoken to me a fair few times about his Mum he always insisted he wasnt that close to her. Lies! He clearly adores her, and she still mothers around the grown man like you'd never belive.
She absolutaly LOVED me. I honestly never expected her to approve so heavily.
His attitude then changed, he acted more like we'd been together years instead of months. I noticed the way he held me changed from fairly shy to almost protective, it was really lovely.
As it was all going good I decided to ask him if he still wanted to be together, and he said "I dont know" which was slightly upsetting -how can you not know?- so I asked him to elaborate and he said "You dont understand how much I hate arguing, if we were arguing right now then...-hesitation- no I wouldnt want to be together" and I said...well...were not arguing and he smiled and said "its all good then"

Now we're back at college, and he seems to have taken three steps back or something. He barely speeks to me during the day, sometimes he'll sit in the same classroom as me but start being stupid with the girls in his group almost like Im not there, then occasionally come over for a little cuddle and go back again, after they leave he quickly makes his excuses and goes too.
I questioned him about it, and he said that he doesnt want to distract me, and that I distract him...even though he's clearly not doing any work. (Silly boy)
I've suggested us going for lunch together some days but he seems to have just batted it off.

Everyday he comes to say goodbye to me before he goes home, today was the first day in over a week and a half he kissed me goodbye. Which I think has something to do with the image I painted him (we're both illustration students) and the slightly mocking comment I made about it.
He used to say "I love you" before he left, which stopped -not that Im that bothered, it just seemed abit sudden- I used to write it in texts and he'd say it back, but he's stopped. I wasnt sure that I should continue saying it and putting any pressure on him especially as its still early days -though I do really care for him-

I feel like Im going one step forward, two back and three to the side with him. I cant work out weather he wants to be together or not or whats going on.
Does anyone understand these odd creatures?

Any help, greatly appreciated

posted March 07, 2011 11:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by HarleyClyde:
I apologise in advance for any length of this message
Okay so after about debating it for around an hour Ive finally decided that its proberbly about time I asked about the thing thats really bugging me, which is my boyfriend, who is a Cancer sun and moon.

Now I havent been with him more than a few weeks. Before we got together and leading into the first few weeks of the relationship he was exactly what you'd imagain a cancer man to be. Charming and sweet, he acted like I was some kinda princess, I even remember him once telling me I was perfect. He asked me twice, within the space of ten muinets to be his girlfriend and I just couldn't turn him down, he was adorable!
I wasnt even with him a week and he was telling me he loved me...which I took with a heavy pinch of salt.

Then all of a sudden he had a huge strop at me, over nothing! We had a minor disagreement over me going to his and he acted like it was a decleration of war. Said he wasnt sure he even wanted to be together anymore, he was tired of arguing with me (...errr what?) and blew it way out of proportian.
I left him alone overnight, he was still in a mood, left him alone over the weekend and he didnt really wanna speek to me, then all of a sudden he started texting me and acted like nothing had happened, I tried to approch the subject and he just batted it off like it was never an issue.

He was fine after that, I just learnt that he had a short straw and I shouldnt pull it too hard. Then he introduced me to his mum and dad. Although hed spoken to me a fair few times about his Mum he always insisted he wasnt that close to her. Lies! He clearly adores her, and she still mothers around the grown man like you'd never belive.
She absolutaly LOVED me. I honestly never expected her to approve so heavily.
His attitude then changed, he acted more like we'd been together years instead of months. I noticed the way he held me changed from fairly shy to almost protective, it was really lovely.
As it was all going good I decided to ask him if he still wanted to be together, and he said "I dont know"

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by HarleyClyde:
which was slightly upsetting -how can you not know?- so I asked him to elaborate and he said "You dont understand how much I hate arguing, if we were arguing right now then...-hesitation- no I wouldnt want to be together" and I said...well...were not arguing and he smiled and said "its all good then"

Now we're back at college, and he seems to have taken three steps back or something. He barely speeks to me during the day, sometimes he'll sit in the same classroom as me but start being stupid with the girls in his group almost like Im not there, then occasionally come over for a little cuddle and go back again, after they leave he quickly makes his excuses and goes too.
I questioned him about it, and he said that he doesnt want to distract me, and that I distract him...even though he's clearly not doing any work. (Silly boy)
I've suggested us going for lunch together some days but he seems to have just batted it off.

Everyday he comes to say goodbye to me before he goes home, today was the first day in over a week and a half he kissed me goodbye. Which I think has something to do with the image I painted him (we're both illustration students) and the slightly mocking comment I made about it.
He used to say "I love you" before he left, which stopped -not that Im that bothered, it just seemed abit sudden- I used to write it in texts and he'd say it back, but he's stopped. I wasnt sure that I should continue saying it and putting any pressure on him especially as its still early days -though I do really care for him-

I feel like Im going one step forward, two back and three to the side with him. I cant work out weather he wants to be together or not or whats going on.
Does anyone understand these odd creatures?

Any help, greatly appreciated

xo

---

posted March 08, 2011 09:40 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Deux*Antares:
Welcome to LL!

My opinion: it doesn't matter what he wants. You are very clearly not getting what you want. So cut your losses. You're still young. Don't start the habit of putting up with other people's crap, especially men's. Otherwise, you're training yourself to accept that it's normal and acceptable.

---

posted March 09, 2011 11:15 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by crabbypatty:
OMG darling! Alarm bells are ding ding dinging all over Linda Land. Run as fast as you can - and don't look back!!!! Any person who interprets you as being belligerent or fighting when you're not ... is TROUBLE baby. This will not improve. This will not disappear. It will only get worse as the issues (real or perceived) become more serious.

Please don't stay with him. I am 41 and have lots of romantic experience and (finally) some common sense.

---