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Author Topic:   Cancer and Virgo? What the heck happens?!!!!
VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 10, 2011 05:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi all!

New poster here. I need some objective insight on Cancer man and my story is a little long so if you can please read and tell me your thoughts, I'll love you forever.

Ok, here goes...

I met this guy at work (didn't know he was a Cancer at first) and immediately when I met him, I knew there was something 'special' about him but he was a bit arrogant (a facade perhaps) and being the Virgo woman that I am, I wanted to bring him down a peg or two.

Anyway, I began to ignore him and he mentioned it to me one day in which I didn't respond. After the initial ignoring phase, we had a few tiffs via email and in the last tiff, I got the last word. Funny thing, that night when I went home, I knew that he would be the very first person that I would see the next morning when I walked into work...and he was! There he was coming toward me to confront me about the fight we had via email (all work related) and he pretty much summed up the argument by saying " I don't like this, I don't like this" while simultaneously moving his hand back and forth between the both of us. I felt really bad and decided to try and get along from then on.

Now the entire time that all of this is happening, I started to develop really intense feelings for him and I thought that he started to feel the same. He was a pretty flirty guy and in the beginning flirted with me a few times (like leaning in while talking to me and biting his bottom lip) but I never flirted back. My work attitude is pretty serious and I am pretty closed off to others but I felt like he was the only one that could see right through me. One day he sidled up beside me and smiled warmly after I showed him some teeth, LOL and I noticed that he would get upset and hang his head at times when I wouldn't speak to him. I would also catch him staring at me a couple of times when I wasn't looking and one day he got really nervous around me to the point where he was so jumpy. I also noticed that he would create reasons to come around me for no apparent reason, and his eyebrow would flash in excitement when he would see me coming.

Through all this, I'm sad to say that I never gave him anything to go on (I never once tried to talk to him about anything outside of work or get to know him personally) because I would just stiffen up and get really scared or just focus on the job. Our relationship started to become off and on in the sense that sometimes we would talk and sometimes we wouldn't. I sensed at some point that he couldn't stand me but funny, still wanted to know me. It eventually became a never-ending cycle of us punishing/ignoring eachother to the point where he began to run from me/dart out of sight if he saw me coming into the building in the morning for work (something that he never did at the beginning) and it even got to the point where he stopped flirting with me altogether.

I didn't know what to think as I was very scared and shy and immature and not very experienced with men and to be honest, he was a very popular guy with alot of female attention and quite flirty with many and I just didn't want to be one in a million. I sadly admit, that I was mean to him on many days but I noticed that it never kept him away from me for too long and he would show signs of jealousy if I engaged with another of his male co-workers. I was basically a female version of him (moody, sometimes selfish, rude, egotistical, then kind, aloof, guarded, and I matched his level of intelligence) and I think he came to the realization that I could dish it back just as good.

Anyway, I write all this to say that I have left the job recently to pursue other interests and he did come by to see me on my last day (I sent him a very general and professional email saying goodbye and cc'd his superior so it wouldn't be so akward with only him on the email). He aksed me where I was going (as in what new building I would be working at) and if I was going out for drinks.

Can you guys please help and give me an objective take here on me and Cancer man? I know I came across hard and I can accept anything you have to say, but I realize that I probably blew it and I miss him very much and often wonder what could have been. I didn't want to assume that he liked me in the least because of the way he was with many women and it's very possible that he could have simply sensed that I liked him (that famous Cancerian intuition) and was just using me for an ego boost? Anything you can give insight on will be greatly appreciated.

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mintgirl123
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posted March 10, 2011 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cancer men are total nightmares. I'd stay away from them.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

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From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 10, 2011 07:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, well, thanks mintgirl.

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northernlad
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posted March 10, 2011 07:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for northernlad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mintgirl123:
Cancer men are total nightmares. I'd stay away from them.

Hey! I resemble that remark!
Although I'd say that for me my Uranus conj Asc is more nightmare inducing.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 10, 2011 07:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Northernland,

Are you a Cancer man? Can you help?

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RunAroundScreaming
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From: USA
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posted March 10, 2011 09:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well I know the ignoring game you're talking about--I've played it with a few virgo guys in the past. It's like we both ignore each other because we're too afraid of rejection, or because getting to know each other would be too intense and we would get too clingy too quickly.

I don't think you've ruined it at all. My advice would be to wake up for god's sakes, woman, and give this guy a very obvious hint that you're interested. How is he supposed to know otherwise?

At least the virgo guys I'm talking about would smile at me, flirt, and be visibly shaking and extra-sweet to me, so I'd know that they like me, even though they would ignore me on random days. But you have to do SOMEthing to show this guy you likw him, for god's sakes.

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northernlad
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posted March 10, 2011 10:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for northernlad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VirgoMaiden:
Northernland,

Are you a Cancer man? Can you help?


I am a Cancer sun with moon in Virgo man, so I kinda get a little of both sides here. I can't really comment for all cancers, because you absolutely have to take more than just sun sign into account, but it sounds like you didn't give him enough of a hint that you were interested, like RunAroundScreaming said. I know for myself, personally, I am terrified of rejection; so unless someone comes on really strong and hits me over the head with the fact that they're interested in me, I'm probably not likely to make a move.

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Benedict Moon*
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Posts: 1920
From: Avendesora
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posted March 11, 2011 12:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another Cancer Sun/Virgo Moon here...LAWLZ. I can't say for sure if you really blew it until you put in on the line. I was in this situation with a Scorpio who acted alot like your Cancer, so it seems to me he was just insecure about your interest in him. . I can understand, as a Virgo Moon, why it probably wouldn't have been a good idea (dating in the job = messy) but you don't work there anymore so what the hey? It wouldn't hurt to let him know how you feel. Even if things don't go as you want them, atleast you can get some closure.

And you wanna post your charts up? There's more than just sunsigns.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 11, 2011 10:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi there RunAroundScreaming,

I've read some of your posts on here and you always seem to give pretty good advice.

Cancers and Virgos can be so whacky together eh? It's a really excellent combo when both parties are evolved and brave enough to take risks.

I'm gone from the job now but ironically enough I can't stop thinking of him. Maybe it would be a good idea to call him up and ask him out for coffee or something....I'm so nervous!

You Cancers are like kryptonite to us Virgos! It's voodoo I tell ya! LOL. You make us FEEL and invoke all of our emotions that we want to keep under wraps...aaarrrggghh. I swear it was like I was losing all of my sensibilities around this guy...but it still felt so good.

As for your Virguys being so shy and nervous around you, that's the same way this Cancer was with me but I still overanalyzed everything in my head time and again, always coming to the conclusion that he didn't like me at all but was just reacting to my like for him.

Maybe I'll just let it be. Don't want to make a fool of myself and at least I learned a valuable lesson. Perhaps that's all the universe wanted for me.

Thanks so much again for your insight.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 11, 2011 10:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Northernland,

I completely understand how terrified of rejection Cancers can be because Virgos are the same exact way.

Thanks for your input.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 11, 2011 11:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi BenedictMoon!

Also read some of your posts and you're quite interesting and seem to have a good take on the whole astrological thing.

*slaps forehead* I know, I know. I'm such a dork. I could barely look the guy in the eyes. It wasn't that way in the beginning (didn't even like him at first) but it's like he grew on me. Hell yea!...he grew on me!

I think I'll let it be but here's my chart (sorry, don't know his) for future reference, so anything you can tell me about myself I will greatly appreciate.

Sun in Virgo
Moon in Cap (I can come off really cold)
Merc in Virgo
Venus in Scorp (haven't really explored this aspect yet)
Mars in Libra
Jupiter in Leo
Saturn in Virgo
Uranus in Scorp
Neptune in Sag
Pluto in Libra
Rising/Ascendent in Aries (I'm a bit fiery)

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Benedict Moon*
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Posts: 1920
From: Avendesora
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posted March 11, 2011 01:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Have you used astro.com yet? You can upload charts onto there. Also, do you atleast have a D.O.B on him? You could enter that into astro.com and set the time of birth to noon. It wouldn't be entirely accurate, but it would give us some picture of his chart.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 11, 2011 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi BenedictMoon,

Yes, I am familiar with astro.com but just haven't been there in a whiie.

No, don't know his b-day.
I believe it's like July 15th or something, but I'm not sure. Oh well, better luck next time I guess.

Thanks for your help!

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RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake

Posts: 632
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 11, 2011 10:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aww VirgoMaiden you're so precious

Scared to look him in the eyes? That's me also, and them too. They would avoid eye contact with me like crazy then give me a big goofy grin lol. It's funny because there's this one *virguy* lol who is popular and outgoing yet i never knew he was actually so shy until he hung out around me! I could tell he was really trying to hide being nervous, u guys run away from your emotions though. It's like they scare you bc they make u guys lose control or something. U guys really dont like showing ur emotions--maybe that's what it is, am I right? Are you guys really scared of getting close to people? Me and virgos always get extremely close right from our first conversation...then they deny it and do a push-pull thing! Once they see theyve revealed too many vulnerabilities or something. Thanks for your advice too I really appreciate any help I can get with these virguys! Seriously lol....ya'll are so scared. I never thought i'd meet someone more scared than me! P.s. cancers are pretty straightforward, i've dealt with a lot of the guys. You just have to not reject them...cuz then they'll be really confused. If you're friendly u dont even have to take the initiative....just be friendly act like u want to stay in touch bc u want to be their friend if it makes u uncomfortable............ and once they see u want to be their friend if they like you they will tell u. I dont think cancers are as shy as virgos. I've had a few cancer guys tell me they liked me and hit on me lol but i was just being their friend!

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RunAroundScreaming
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Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 11, 2011 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
VirgoMaiden go on facebook and get his birthdate from his profile and put it into astro.com
Easy

And tell us what ur composite on "Astro-click portrait" looks like

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Benedict Moon*
Knowflake

Posts: 1920
From: Avendesora
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posted March 11, 2011 11:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, do you atleast have his facebook? Get the D.O.B. off there. Or even his age? (haha, us cancers are teaching you our stalker ways..J/K)

And for some reason, I totally missed that he asked if you were going out for drinks (st00pid gemini venus of mine). Ummm, yeah...you should talk to him.

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RunAroundScreaming
Knowflake

Posts: 632
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted March 11, 2011 11:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Btw I should add..

That Linda Goodman says

Virgo - The adult - "I
analyze" to teach that love
is pure, and learn that
love is fulfillment


Hear that? Love is fulfillment. So go after your guy.

And i understand what u mean about virgos, I've never seem anyone react like that around me. All three of them were just shy nervous wrecks lol it was so cute . I wish i could keep them all . So precious. But they make me react in a similar way. Being around a virgo guy crush for me is like just a cant help but smile and trip goofily over yourself and spill your drink on the lady next to you as you stumble to save your face from a cactus, kind of a helpless feeling.

I always suspected that about virgos...that i made them feel and that's why they ran away scared. In addition, unless our conversation was completely unawkward, unless everything just went perfect and according to plan then it didnt seem like they felt it was good enough anymore. U guys have to trust ur heart more.

Ooh i found some insightful stuff from my diary lmao

Here's one virgo guy's testimonial:

"It’s true, I really do just instantly fall in love with Cancer women. I don’t really know what it is, but i know my intuition about women is usually spot on. When i see a good woman (cancer woman), i just know, its this weird comforting feeling she exudes. Not to mention how incredibly seductive you women are, this attraction is truly hard to to resist. But, if your fighting with one another, we can put really good fronts that we’ve never liked you before. Its all just a facade/mask our true feelings, we truly just wanna hold you and feel that love again. Truth is if you really want a healthy relationship between you 2, or any realtionship with any man. You NEED, OPEN, HONEST communication, try to be as rational as possible when expressing your feelings also be aware of the words you choose to say to one another. It’s tough but worth it. And sometimes you just need a good old passinoate argument to raise the tension with one another. Which ever you choose, always include love making lol!"

Yet another
"Virgomale: LOL! i love cancer women for there beautiful eyes and hands too, i’ve never told my cancer women about the way her hands really turn me on though. It’s so true about how you don’t have to play games, after a period of time has passed. Sometimes in the beginning though you really just feel each other out, if both of you are really feeling the same thing. So, it’s a bit of a chess match. Usually HE’LL be the one to tell you how he feels. Doesn’t always have to be that way though, but i personally think he should be the one, maybe because i think men should step up a bit."

And finally *drumroll please* Here is a confession from two Virgo women

"As we (myself and some of the other Virgo women on this site) told aujra, Cancers and Virgos have a habit of confusing one another like nobody’s business. It can be a really sad sad thing if the two don’t proactively work to sort out what’s really going on underneath. Your Virgo woman definitely cares for you because if she didn’t, trust and believe that she wouldn’t spend most of her time communicating with you the way that she does. Honestly, Cancer men make Virgo women feel all sorts of things that we thought we could never feel. We do have emotions and they do run deep but, I can’t stress to you enough, that ‘thing’ that you Cancer men seem to do to us that seemingly no other sign in the zodiac can. Our own emotions and feelings can really scare us especially if they are very strong and we are maybe not ready to act on them. I’m not saying that I exactly know what’s going on in her head but if she is shutting down and being ‘on and off’ with you, my suggestion would be to gently confront her. Be straight on with her and ask her direct questions like “do you care for me?” “Do you want to be with me?” “Do you see a future with me?”. We are pretty direct and it may not be a risk that you’re willing to take(?) but if you really want to get an answer and clear up your confusion, someone’s going to have to be brave enough to come forth and ask the tough questions first.

2nd virgo woman on the same forum thread: Please don’t give up on her. Cancers and Virgos make wonderful mates for one another. She may be overwhelmed with all that she feels and may be running away for fear that this connection is too good to be true or ousomething she may not be able to handle. However, the only way you will know for sure is if you get it from the horse’s mouth."

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 12, 2011 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey there RunAroundScreaming,

Yes, you are absolutely right. Virgos do not like to show emotion. It makes us so uncomfortable! Unless we have alot of good water placements in our charts, generally, emotions are not for us...they're evil! LOL!

Your Virguys?...awww...yes, that's us! that's us! Scared of rejection, scared of feelings, scared to be disliked. Did any of you ever make a move? Virgos can be a bit more passive than Cancers so I agree with you when you say that all of you have to do is give Cancer the green light and they will make a move.

It really sucks when neither takes the initiative to try and take it to the next level. It's such a wonderful pairing and there's so much love, compassion, kindness and happiness at this couple's disposal that it's not even funny (provided that both are mature parties and not too shy).

I really didn't know much/think much about Cancers until this guy came along and now you all are pretty much my fav. *blows RAS a kiss*

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 12, 2011 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey there BenedictMoon!

Aaaawwww...just look at you guys! Hooking a girl up!

Funny thing, I don't have a FB acct (nope, sadly I don't. Used to and got rid of it. Too much work and everybody and their mama finds you...uuuggggghhhh!) and I don't think he does either.

I know you're probably thinking "get with it!" but that place just wasn't for me. I'm a bit too private and that "newsfeed" section used to make my damn head spin and I couldn't stand folks jumping on as soon as I signed in to have an IM chat...Grrrr...

I looked for him at one point though at he doesn't seem to have one either...he's like a male version of myself that it's just soooo eerie. Very kind of low-key, quiet and just after the simple things in life.

Maybe this is just another sign that it's not meant to be, and it's ok because as I've stated before, I've learned a valuable lesson.

I will check out astro.com for more info on my chart however.

Thanks so much again, BM.

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Benedict Moon*
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From: Avendesora
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posted March 12, 2011 01:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well thats too bad, it would've been nice to know the other chart. How old is he? Maybe I can go on that.

I can tell you off the back that its probably your Scorpio Venus that draws you to him and your Cap Moon that makes him feel insecure about where he stands with you. Us earth Mooners are always making the waterboys a weedle bit defensive since we don't tend to be very emotionally reactive.

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

Posts: 16
From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 12, 2011 01:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey again, RunAroundScreaming,

Boy did you hit the nail right on the head!

You Cancers do make us run (and maybe sometimes we make you run too?) because you make us feeeeeeeeel. I'm always in awe at how you guys can so easily embrace your emotions...it's a gift and the good lord is just awesome. He created us all with something special to give/share/teach others and if it's one thing a Cancer can teach a Virgo is that it's alright to be emotionally open and to let down your walls.

This is what I mean when I say I've learned a lesson. Since leaving the job I have made a conscious effort to be more open, but I must admit that it's still a struggle everyday. My head definitely rules my heart and NOT the other way 'round.

I hope I'm not boring you guys but I also felt it important to share this little tidbit because I believe it's important to my overall story: I was quite happy to leave and get away from him. Why? Well, because even though I liked him tons, he had a player-vibe about him and there were so many other women that liked him/were trying to pursue him and I just did not want to be one in a million. I don't roll that way. No siiiirreee!

Before I actually started to really like him, there was another female co-worker (an Aries) who took a liking to him immediately, and she was just so bold and brave, and would just take charge in terms of flirting with him and letting her interest in him be known. Very assertive she was. I would look and just cringe because NEVER in a million years could I do the things she did (I guess that's part of what makes her an Aries eh?) and although deep down I felt like in the long run I would be a better fit for him, I knew that he would go for her if the opportunity arose because he was just so in awe of her fire and guts (something I don't really have in that area).

Needless to say she left the job way before me and before anything could really go down between the two of them. I don't regret not being more assertive because at the end of the day, I like to stay true to myself and I never compete with other women for a man. I usually just fall back. However, I don't think it would have hurt to have shown him a little more interest when it was just him and I, but I felt like I was up against a Goliath and out of my league because I'm just not good in that area. I felt like I couldn't compete and I'm pretty sure he felt that. Funny, that never seemed to stop him from seemingly wanting to know me, be around me, etc, but I also felt like in the long run he would just break my heart and the thought of that was just a bit too much for me to bear. In some ways I felt like I was being played, LOL, 'cause he knew I liked him and just used that to give me attention. IONO. I also overanalyze too much. Just the Virgo way.

Thanks for sharing those Virgo men/Virgo women stories. They're beautiful. Are you dating anyone right now? Are they Virgo?

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VirgoMaiden
Newflake

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From: New York, NY , USA
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posted March 12, 2011 02:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for VirgoMaiden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey BM,

Yeah it's a crying shame. LOL.


Thanks for that info. Didn't even think that it could be my Venus in Scorp that drew me to him (because I was def. drawn to him...like a damn moth to a flame!)

Interesting, I was talking to someone else about us Cappy moons not too long ago and they were telling me the same thing you said about us not showing much emotion.

He actually called me 'tough' one day and when he said it, I knew exactly what he meant. He said it sort of generally but I felt like the deeper meaning was that I was kind of hard to crack. I got the feeling he was used to getting women to open up much more easily.

Not too sure about his age but I believe he's somewhere around 35 or 36...a few years older than me.

Thanks,

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted March 12, 2011 02:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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RunAroundScreaming
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From: USA
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posted March 12, 2011 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh and yes all three virgo guys had strange reactions to me. One virgo (the one who is a loner) would ignore me since the first time we met (he was that shy) but then he would flash me a big goofy grin or a shy smile, and its like he expected that to be enough but no sorry that doesnt mean i am making the first move. He would get really happy every time i made the first move, but no i am not doing it any more i want the guy to lol. Then when i stopped he did make the first move a few times but he still wasnt forward enough, so now i notice when he makes eye contact with me he seems so much more open and emotionally expressive with his face. He seems less uncomfortable u know. But he is still very shy so i just dont pay much attention to him lol i cant deal with it guys need to grow some and make the first move lol wth

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted March 12, 2011 03:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But yeah awww the cancer-virgo connection is so beautiful, mushy, romantic and comfy. They are purity and we cancers are also very pure so it's heaven. The thing is cancer women want a manly man, and i will not baby any guy, he has to go after what he wants. If i do baby him i feel like i'm gonna be babying him all his life and i want someone independent. i do lose a lot of respect for a guy i have to baby, i dont see him as sexually attractive anymore :/

Any cancer would be proud to hear that they are making someone feel. We know that is our role in life and that is usually what we strive to do! We love injecting everything with emotion and seek to inspire. We are also afraid of emotions dont get me wrong, but we are much more okay with looking vulnerable than any other sign. We just want to connect on a deep level, thats all we want, so if it takes showing our vulberability that wont stop us. We are a water sign so we actually thrive in the darker situations in life, such as sadness, vulnerability, misunderstanding, people who need love, fighting for the underdog, etc. We do well with emotions but not so well with practicality lol.

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