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Author Topic:   Cancer women and jealousy?
Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
Registered: May 2009

posted March 25, 2011 04:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
a Cap friend just reveals today that his wife is jealous of me. lol... err... but why?! we have met once a couple of summers ago and apparently 'she knew straight away you were my type'.

this is not the first time this kind of thing happens. why can't one be friends with someone of the opposite sex? i get on better with men and there's no sexual tension that i know of. it's always the women who have strange ideas.

she's a Cancer that's all i know. is it typical of Cancer suns to be jealous for no reason?

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Betty Boop
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posted March 25, 2011 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
why can't one be friends with someone of the opposite sex?

I completely agree... But this is the Aquarius-11th house perspective on life lol
And Aquarius is quincunx Cancer (Children first - husband second - 'rest of the family' third - then comes - everything else.. There is a hierarchy for Cancer).

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amowls**
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posted March 25, 2011 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls**     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That kind of jealousy is just insecurity. Bad aspects to Saturn shows insecurity (in natal and synastry).

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 25, 2011 05:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
sometimes women and insecurities are best friends. i shall find out if she's been jealous of my Cap friend's other women friends before.

grr... i don't want this kind of problems.

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Benedict Moon*
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From: Avendesora
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posted March 25, 2011 06:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
From my own POV as a Cancer Stellium, I was a little irked by my ex's female friends. I realize now that that stemmed from alot of issues though, some coming from myself and some coming from him. Alot of it was that I hated that he got along with the opposite sex too well....and I resented the fact that when I was speaking to a male acquaintance/friend, he would sulk or even flip sometimes. Yeah, waterpeople can be jealous, I can't deny that.

So maybe she's just an insecure person, or maybe they're own relationship is problematic to begin with and she is jealous you have better rapport with him than she does. If the latter situation is right, then thats not your fault but something he probably needs to take care of...especially if he's saying crap like 'she knew straight away you were my type'. Really, who does that? Then again, this is probably why I stay away from Cap Men.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 25, 2011 06:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
it appears they have a good marriage on the surface. we did talk about it some more and i was assured 'there's no problem at home'.

yes, i too am aware of Cap men, and despite their infamous reputation i do get on very well with them.

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Benedict Moon*
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posted March 25, 2011 06:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well if he insists they're fine then you haven't got much else to do then take it at face value. Tbh, unless you're really good friends its more his problem than yours.

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GrlyGirl20
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posted March 25, 2011 09:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrlyGirl20     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
she's a Cancer that's all i know. is it typical of Cancer suns to be jealous for no reason?

I'm a Cancer Asc/Sun/Mars and I gotta agree that sometime there is jealously towards other women (but really any sign can be jealous). I don't get too jealous in general despite being a Taurus Venus but I'm an 11th house Venus...so jealously is something that if I ever get I try VERY hard to try to hide lol.

My Cap Moon though thinks there is more to the story. I will say though that for him to make a comment about his wife saying you were the type for him is kinda out of line. And I also think its out of line for him to talk about his marital issues with you may they be good and bad. Plus are you sure she isn't picking up on something from you. After all one has to wonder why would you post a topic about the woman if there was no issues at all. You wouldn't care if she was jealous or not if there was truly nothing for her husband.

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kindredcayce
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posted March 25, 2011 09:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kindredcayce     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've known two very jealous type Cancerians, but they both also had Leo venuses.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 03:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Benedict Moon*:
Well if he insists they're fine then you haven't got much else to do then take it at face value. Tbh, unless you're really good friends its more his problem than yours.

yep, this is what i concluded when i went to bed last night. my conscience is clear.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 04:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by GrlyGirl20:
My Cap Moon though thinks there is more to the story. I will say though that for him to make a comment about his wife saying you were the type for him is kinda out of line. And I also think its out of line for him to talk about his marital issues with you may they be good and bad. Plus are you sure she isn't picking up on something from you. After all one has to wonder why would you post a topic about the woman if there was no issues at all. You wouldn't care if she was jealous or not if there was truly nothing for her husband.

i'm not worried, but am taken by surprise by the 'my type' comment because i have never sent signals of any kind. the Cap and i are cool with one another and we rarely talk about his marriage, which i have no desire to know in detail. there may be more to his marital issues at home but that's not for me to be concerned about.

besides, i've made it clear directly that 'it would never happen'.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 04:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by kindredcayce:
I've known two very jealous type Cancerians, but they both also had Leo venuses.

the Cap: Scorp moon, Mars Virgo, Venus/Mercury Sag.

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Lucia23
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posted March 26, 2011 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a Cancer stellium, and when I was a teen I used to get very jealous of girls who I thought my boyfriend might like. As an adult, I still struggle with various romantic insecurities but I do not get jealous that way, because I've learned that it is not about the other woman, it's about how strong, communicative, connected, and honest my relationship is with the man I'm involved with.

quote:
. I will say though that for him to make a comment about his wife saying you were the type for him is kinda out of line. And I also think its out of line for him to talk about his marital issues with you may they be good and bad. Plus are you sure she isn't picking up on something from you. After all one has to wonder why would you post a topic about the woman if there was no issues at all. You wouldn't care if she was jealous or not if there was truly nothing for her husband.

I agree with GrlyGrl here.

Basically, this guy is a total douche. Telling you his wife is jealous--whatever effect it has on you, or not--is a way of flattering you and flirting with you AT HER EXPENSE. Humiliating her (even if behind her back) by sharing her private insecurities with some woman she barely knows, who she fears her husband might be attracted to.

Her relationship with a guy who acts like this probably triggers her insecurities, in many different situations.

Edited: It's not about the sex/attraction, even. This guy should not be talking to you about his wife's private feelings, on any subject!

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Lucia23
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posted March 26, 2011 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I bet she's picking something up specifically in this situation, beyond his general disrespect. It might be unconscious on your part.

If you really weren't interested--even in some small ego-gratification way, or to feel superior to this woman with her "strange ideas"--you wouldn't be posting about it on an internet site.

And you would never NEED to let some guy know, directly or indirectly, "it's never gonna happen," if there was no vibe there. If his behavior/vibe was "cool" and correct, your feeling would be more along the lines of "It's been clear from day one that it would never happen, on HIS end, because he's married."

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 12:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
Edited: It's not about the sex/attraction, even. This guy should not be talking to you about his wife's private feelings, on any subject!

^^ it boils down to this.

i'm a very private person so i would never dream of disclosing such private stuff. strange that Caps of both sexes always tell me private things!

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 12:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
completely unconscious on my part. never crossed my mind otherwise (i like women).

i don't know what she might have picked up with my Cap mask on. we only shook hands, said hi and quickly went on our way.

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Benedict Moon*
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From: Avendesora
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posted March 26, 2011 02:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia23:
I have a Cancer stellium, and when I was a teen I used to get very jealous of girls who I thought my boyfriend might like. As an adult, I still struggle with various romantic insecurities but I do not get jealous that way, because I've learned that it is not about the other woman, it's about how strong, communicative, connected, and honest my relationship is with the man I'm involved with.

I agree with GrlyGrl here.

Basically, this guy is a total douche. Telling you his wife is jealous--whatever effect it has on you, or not--is a way of flattering you and flirting with you AT HER EXPENSE. Humiliating her (even if behind her back) by sharing her private insecurities with some woman she barely knows, who she fears her husband might be attracted to.

Her relationship with a guy who acts like this probably triggers her insecurities, in many different situations.

Edited: It's not about the sex/attraction, even. This guy should not be talking to you about his wife's private feelings, on any subject!


I'm not pointing fingers at anyone since I do not know the OP or the players involved, but I pretty much agree with you. There has got to be some issues if the guy makes a charming little one liner like 'she knows your my type' (sarcasm).

Maybe you feel nothing for him, but he's sending pretty obvious vibes and his wife is picking up on it. Cancers are pretty good at that type of thing even after only one handshake, which is why its useless to try and hide things from us. She's not insecure at all, she's got every right to feel how she feels....it just may or may not be misplaced.

EDIT: I guess the bottom line is that we don't become jealous without a reason and this situation is a very good example of that.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
personally there's no need to worry [on her part]. i'm not in the closet... he/everyone knows about my sexual orientation.

thanks everyone for your input on Cancerians!

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Lucia23
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posted March 26, 2011 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
personally there's no need to worry [on her part]. i'm not in the closet... he/everyone knows about my sexual orientation.

Yeah, then her insecurity is probably less about his readiness/willingness/ability to actually cheat...and more about him being the kind of disrespectful tool who talks with other people about her private insecurities.

It's weird that he and his wife both identify his "type" as an out lesbian! But whatever. Even if you're deeply Not Interested, he's still flirting with/flattering you at her expense. Which is disloyal!! Maybe it's not my Cancer stellium that that rubs wrong, though, maybe it's my loyalty-obsessed Leo Sun.

If he says things like that to you and/or other women, gay or straight, their whole relationship probably has a wrong vibe that makes her feel bad.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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posted March 26, 2011 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^ i agree. i'm also loyalty obsessed being earthy fire.

(i look 'femmy'.)

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Benedict Moon*
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posted March 26, 2011 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Herz_Aus_Stein:
personally there's no need to worry [on her part]. i'm not in the closet... he/everyone knows about my sexual orientation.


Wow, that make things bizarre on his part. Either he can't take a hint or is just even more of a douche than I originally thought. Again, its still not your problem but you sure you want this guy as a friend? He just sounds douchy to everyone involved. No respect.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries</3Cap
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posted March 26, 2011 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
possibilities:

the wife has no idea about my sexual orientation.

whatever it was wasn't serious. [that was almost 2 summers ago and i only heard about it yesterday. eta: i've known the Cap a handful of years.]

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Benedict Moon*
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posted March 26, 2011 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well that's pretty likely if she feels so threatened by you. Even so, the relationship obviously gives her no sense of security...which is sadly typical when a Cap and a Cancer match up.

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