posted April 10, 2011 11:40 AM            

I'm interested in this question because very often you hear astrological advice that's different from books like "He's Just Not That Into You"....Linda Goodman's description of Scorpio man, for example, suggests he'll leave a woman hanging for years sometimes before having mercy and hooking up with her (I'm badly paraphrasing, don't have the book here.) There are lots of Soul Mate threads on Lindaland that are like "This person and I aren't together, and we've never kissed or gone on a date, does s/he love/want me?"

For me it is harder to give female friends advice when they're interested in heavily Cancer-influenced or Pisces-influenced man, because I feel like sometimes these guys will be very interested in a woman, and never do anything about it. I love Aries-influenced men, because if they like me and think I might be open to liking them back, they'll ask me out.

I think after years, I'm coming around to the non-astrological "He's Just Not That Into You" perspective.....if someone is not actively trying to be around you, talk to you, date you, kiss you, then he's not interested OR he's not available OR he's very damaged, and it's a waste of life to chase around after someone not interested, not available, or damaged.

But, on the other hand, that book is very sexist and heterosexist, in a bad way that makes it sometimes not useful. AND I have found it inaccurate on many occasions.

posted April 10, 2011 12:45 PM            

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I think after years, I'm coming around to the non-astrological "He's Just Not That Into You" perspective.....if someone is not actively trying to be around you, talk to you, date you, kiss you, then he's not interested OR he's not available OR he's very damaged, and it's a waste of life to chase around after someone not interested, not available, or damaged.

But, on the other hand, that book is very sexist and heterosexist, in a bad way that makes it sometimes not useful. AND I have found it inaccurate on many occasions.

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Yeah, I think the main gist of books like that is to tell women to not be such an insecure, clingy, crazy MESS about love. It's supposed to be FUN for god's sake! Don't think that the guy is going to run off and marry you the second he shows interest in you OR that he's even WORTH marrying (because there are plenty of guys who ARE NOT).

However you are correct... There is a very sexist bent to most of them and they are not 100%. Personally, I don't think you CAN be 100% when it comes to people. People are too diverse and there are too many factors to consider.

Me personally, as far as my astrological chart goes, I think it works against me. I have 3 planets in Virgo, and one of those is Venus. I have 5 planets in fire signs and two of those are Mars in Leo and Moon in Aries.

What tends to annoy the crap out of me is that lately especially, I seem to be attracting men with heavy air (so they are all detached and indecisive) and they are fixed signs (which is fine since my DC is Taurus and Mars is in Leo). They will flirt with me and flirt with me and compliment me and compliment me, but they won't make a move! That annoys me and I get impatient and walk away.

posted April 10, 2011 01:21 PM            

First of all a Scorpio woman and a Cancer man -- wrote the aforementioned book. So it's funny you are mentioning water signs behaving this way.

Second of all -- If I have to wait for a guy to be sooooo into me, sooooo in love with me and sooooo intense in showing it -- that it would make a Scorpio/Cancer couple happy.... I'll be waiting a lifetime. And when it finally does happen -- I'll see him as a stalker and run ten miles in the opposite direction. . Rumour has it that the next ground-braking piece of art these two will co-author, will be a Disney film (jk).

The "same" thing does not work with everyone.
People are not one trick ponies...
These books pretend there is a manual to love.
I guess it's not surprising - There seems to be a "how to" for everything these days.

posted April 10, 2011 01:55 PM            

Again, I think the main gist is that you shouldn't be a whining sloppy mess in relationships because that isn't attractive to anyone and I take it for that. Most of the rest of it is pretty much crap though.

But I agree with you Betty Boop. It's better to make your own mistakes... Unless you can do like I do and watch everyone else and then not make THEIR mistakes. Make your own mistakes, but don't be dumb about it. That's my motto.

posted April 10, 2011 03:04 PM            

How did we show attraction? It was very obvious from first meeting we liked each other.

My Aries is/was extremely likable, most people see him and one word comes is nice. He would give lots of compliments,chivalrous and have good manners. As for me I have been one who had fears and I have been more independent and not sure about the relationship than him due to several reasons but we were quiet passionate from the beginning, we would kiss, we would talk about our day-to-day life and at times couldn't get our hands off each other. We went to parks, restaurants,opera and museums.

Funnily enough birthdays are very important to me and his birthday was around,he suggested we should go to another city and he would also make chocolate brownies.I couldn't resist.

As for showing attraction we both cared for each other but it was me who said I loved him. He said later. I guess we both knew and was sub consciously knew but I had to say it.

His Cancer moon does made him very marriage oriented and were talking in the very beginning of relationship although we married after dating 3 years. We were also at long distance so we communicated quiet a lot.

I do not think it was one chasing another, as he has always been one of them that he wants this relationship anyhow.I might have changed my mind due to my fears.

I do not always be clingy or needy as he knows very well I like to be independent but there has been times when I have no issues sharing my problems or difficulties. However ofcourse it wasn't on a very first date or second date. I might have cried on 4th of 5th but we liked each other anyways.
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I myself am very surprised that I am with Aries. Then again my Aries isn't regular Aries.Much calmer...

My experience has been

Aries Man promises adventure.Some wouldn't take very long to say they like you and want you.Ask you to come out with them. If you say No.Some take it badly some don't.

Taurus man they are mostly older to me but would take me for dinners and know they like me.

Gemini man I couldn't trust.
They would definitely call but wouldn't be willing to show their true self. Maybe too shallow for me.

Cancer man they do not call enough.
Some are too busy chasing their dreams.

Leo man I do not like them.
They talk too much about themselves.

Virgo man never say that they love me.
They care for you and would be interested in having conversation.They have this very silly
smile which says I love you.

Libra man do not make up their minds.
Do not go for their smiles...they would talk, would take you to lots of good places but when they would have to do anything which is worth committing they would drive you mad.

Scorpio man intimidates me.
I wouldn't be able to deal with another one.
Their eyes speaks volume.Look out how they would stalk you.How they would be around you? They would bring lots of opportunities when you have to talk to them. They would make move but it is slow.I would say slower than Taurus sometimes. They would look at you and would know everything even without you telling them.

Saggi man too busy to fool around.
I am not sure how they show affection. I guess by making jokes

Cap man ...never found who could be liked.
Would spend more time and try to educate. Discuss their big plans and goals.

Aqua man...good as friends.Show their affection by having intellectual conversation and then giving compliments.

posted April 10, 2011 07:52 PM            

I'll split it into different signs....
My placements are:
Aries Sun/Cap Moon/Cancer AC
Taurus Venus/Cap Mars.

With Aries men --- I am never attracted.

With Taurus men --- I get very physical.. They bring out the earth in me. I don't 'verbalise' things as much as I 'do" things - to make them feel loved. I have to say though whenever I've hugged a Taurus man in my life - he was like putty in my hands. It might be my Taurus Venus.

With Gemini men --- It's very easy to talk to Gemini men. We mutually make each other laugh a lot. I am not strongly attracted -- but if I was I can't imagine I'd have problems showing it... I find Gemini people very easy to be honest with and by myself around (9 times out of 10).

Cancer men -- Not attracted. No comment.
Oh Ok... I won't be mean lol There is a Cancer actor I find attractive whose entire chart is in Leo.

Leo - This is the easiest thing in the world. Attracting a Leo man. It's like - Do I even have to do anything at all?
I think I just have to exist and smile.

Virgo - We're often mildly attracted... It's not really strong enough for anyone to make a move. I like Virgos as friends generally.

Libra - OH LOL... This is like -- well lets just say Libra boys and I have a 'mating ritual'.
It is not just dating - it's a full fledged *ritual* loll
It's like he moves forward - I move back.. I move forward - He moves back. I move to the left - He moves to the right. It's a lot like we are playing chess. Then finally I trip and fall in his arms.. Voila!

Scorpio - Na.. Kind of like Virgo... I do like them as people but I'm not "that into them" on other levels. I seldom display attraction here because I'm not interested enough.
I have a feeling due to my SN/Pluto in Scorp - I feel so familiar with this sign that I almost know them too well to feel attracted... as though they were family or something lol

Sagittarius -- I think they are even easier to attract than Leos - if that is even possible. lol Although, much harder to keep, mind you. I am very straight forward with a Sag guy. I have no desire to hide my attraction at all. I feel perfectly comfortable being honest. I was like this with my ex and he was positively surprised that I didn't play games etc.

Capricorn -- No. I actually would never show my attraction for a Capricorn man. I would definitely be there for him if I cared about him.. I would make myself likeable. But I have a feeling that he should make a move first. It could be because my Moon is in Cap - I perceive them as masculine.. so I feel like taking on a very feminine role with them.

Aquarius -- Not particularly attracted... If it so happens that we accidentally bump into each other and he plants a kiss.. I won't look for the exit sign.
But I could't say I'm all that into them - either.

posted April 10, 2011 08:00 PM            

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First of all a Scorpio woman and a Cancer man -- wrote the aforementioned book. So it's funny you are mentioning water signs behaving this way.

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LOL!

Also the man and his wife (he co-authored a different book with his wife) are not physically good-looking, IMO.

In my experience, a lot of the women I know are very pretty (by societal standards, I know it is subjective) and also high-status, and they have ALL had experiences where a guy was really interested in them but intimidated to make a move. And sometimes the guys they want aren't the slick, pushy ones who have the nerve right away.

posted April 10, 2011 08:17 PM            

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Pisces - OK.. Now THIS is complicated - and much too complex to post here lol

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posted April 10, 2011 08:53 PM            

Ok I'm gonna say that, and then I'm gonna say, that there are instances where someone may like you but for whatever reason they are not in a space where they can express that in a meaningful adult way. It's then your choice to stick around or wait (I dunno, it's a risk) or go wander around to someone who can give you what you need.
It's not all black and white imo there's a lot of room for gray and people's feelings and desires seem to constantly shift, and it's not easy to say if you're in one relationship or done and if you're done how 'done' are you.

I guess my point is I feel sad for people who keep going through these relating dramas cos I like to keep it simple. I guess I can chalk that up to laziness. I heard it said recently that if you want to know the simplest way to get something done all you have to do is go ask a lazy person how they do it. I am lazy but I will get off my butt and drop that pride to give someone special attention if they matter to me. Some people I can't give that attn to even if I do care about them on some level simply because I'm not ready, and I don't know when or if I'll ever be. You just can't wait around for those who aren't ready.

I know I didn't add any astro, sorry. But there are Moon and Venus and Mars and Asc and prob Eros etc threads that cover this.

OK wait I'm reading your post more, this is based on my experience with these suns, as a water sun myself, take it or leave it,

posted April 10, 2011 09:34 PM            

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Originally posted by Lonake:
re:Cancer men, it's true they can be hard to read, you gotta pick up on their body language, but don't ask em outright, let em be around you for a while, let em get to trust you. You have to feel familiar to them. And when you feel like they have hold of you and won't let go (this can be before you 2 have even said 10 words to each other) that's when they like you. You'll know this cos they'll want to keep abreast of your whereabouts, you're on their radar and thus blended into their most prized possession, their *personal security blanket* so now they feel it's important to their peace of mind to keep tabs on you. And then you may be thinking that you're not so sure if you want them to like you as they cling and want you to make every lil hurt go away, but they show concern too so it can go both ways, but just expect for them to want more nurturing than they give out, if they don't then you'll be pleasantly surprised. But they are adorable so it's worth it, imo, but not everyone's cuppa.

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Haha, you wrote it so much better than me. <3 To me, Cancers are difficult sometimes but sooooo soooo worth it!

posted April 10, 2011 09:48 PM            

Maybe it's because of MY chart (Leo Sun in 8th, Cancer Moon, Saturn and Venus in my 7th)....but I feel like there's a lot of push-me, pull you.

The ones who are interested in me come on REALLY STRONG, like way too strong, when I am not interested. The more I try to push them away, politely decline dates, ignore calls-texts-emails, the more they pursue, to the point that I had to let the Cancer know very bluntly that I was not interested. (The two recent Pisces were easier and took a polite hint.)

The ones who I am interested in initially, if they seem interested and I act interested back, they send such weird weird weird mixed signals that it never happens. It's like MY LACK OF INTEREST is the thing they find most appealing/approachable about me...which, ewww.

I want a guy who finds ME the most appealing thing about me....I'm going back to Arieses and Libras with water voids. The Aries guys who like me have just made it really obvious, including asking me out.

posted April 10, 2011 10:06 PM            

As a Leo I don't think like that. Even with all my Cancer, I sure as shynola know what I want!

posted April 10, 2011 10:36 PM            

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I wonder if they're latching on to the Cancer in your chart, and expecting you to be on the same level, but your strong Leo Sun is thinking, "I'm on a whole different playing field!"

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posted April 11, 2011 04:12 AM            

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Originally posted by Lonake:
And if you think they're interested and they're not doing the same, then please just move on (you can still come back later if they've gotten off their bee-hinds to give you the time of day if you are so inclined).

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Yes so true, I did this and eventually met someone who is actually worth my time and gives me attention which gives this Leo a great boost of self-esteem!

posted April 11, 2011 04:16 AM            

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Originally posted by Lucia23:

It's weird though....like 50% of my friends right now are Pisces.

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