Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Had Ultimate transformation in a bad way..

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Had Ultimate transformation in a bad way..
MertSerimer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From: where the fun is
Registered: Mar 2011

posted April 25, 2011 03:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MertSerimer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
my transformative nature(Pluto in scorpio in 8th, moon trine pluto, pluto sextile saturn, pluto trine chiron,sextile vertex) finally made me a master when it comes to "controlling feelings" but...
i can't feel the "love" anymore.. i think there is a blockage that i created subconciously around there... i can not fall in love... i am serious, i used to a lot more than it should but it is all gone, i am dating with someone that i am not in love with... i will break up anyway.. but i just cant feel it.. it is like i am mad at "something" i can not describe..
OFC it brought me some nice qualities..
for example i can easily erase or remove people out my life just with one thought or one finger "slap"..
i am seeing everyone that they may go tomorrow..
ok it prevents me from disappointment but without love nothing is perfectly good..

Not: I am hurt one year ago but completely healed it and have many relationships after that and didnt hurt from them so this is not my broken hearth talking =))

IP: Logged

Stawr
Knowflake

Posts: 309
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted April 25, 2011 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for sharring.

I also have Scorp Pluto.(but all my Scorp stuff is in the 6th house)
I also have the moon, lilith, juno

And my 8th house stuff is in Capricorn...Where I have
Neptune
Uranus

But I can relate a bit in what you are going though...
I've been single for a whole year...only dating and nothing exclusive.
I've been turning guys down...not going for a certain type...been there, done that, no thanks. lol

I know what I don't want...but not sure what do I want. I havn't had sex in 7 months. And me being attracted to people can make me feel vonerable and paranoid. I havn't felt this way since I was a virgin. lol

I'm at the point where my walls are up...and figuring out how to bring them down for the right kind of people.

For some reason I'm atracted to this older guy at my work who has a wife and kids. I don't get why I am! lol I even had a sex dream about it.
So I'm just like I need to have a love life...because I don't want to attempt to be a home wrecker. And get obessed if a married man smiles at me. And think oh does that mean he likes me!? I don't because I am starting to feel so awkward and paranoid.

Just figuring out how to put my self out there...to find something that really has meaning.

IP: Logged

Stawr
Knowflake

Posts: 309
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted April 25, 2011 05:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Plus I worked in Detroit for a year...and alot of older dudes would hit on me like 40 year olds when I was 19! Wired...But I'm working in the suburbs now...so its different...Its like I know that quite a few older dudes think that way now...but ya know, the behavior people have in the suburbs are a bit different. So who knows, its harder for me to tell.

IP: Logged

Stawr
Knowflake

Posts: 309
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted April 25, 2011 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
but yah...if I had a better love life I really wouldn't have this stupid stuff on my mind. lol

IP: Logged

Lioness
Knowflake

Posts: 2091
From:
Registered: Mar 2010

posted April 25, 2011 05:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mert.. This is where I spent 12years at...

Its your protection shell.. You are protecting yourself from any pain and or love.. You will not allow anyone to come in...

I have been there.. Done that! I lived my life thinking AHH I won!!! You cant hurt me, you cant have any affect on my whats so ever!

Its an emotional void, I do realize now its not healthy. Feeling the pain, is how we grow and how we learn to love, and how we KNOW when someone really loves us...

We are human beings, we need to express love and we need love and to be loved and touched by other humans to feel happiness...

IP: Logged

MertSerimer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From: where the fun is
Registered: Mar 2011

posted April 25, 2011 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MertSerimer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Stawr:
Stawr
I know what I don't want...but not sure what do I want.


thx for sharing for you also =)

and this line is so true.. It describes me...


quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
Lioness

you are so right =)) yeah i have very emotional nature but that self protection is against my own nature. it is like i decleared my own war against me... i am very young but i hope that girl will come and change me and remove my "fickleness" and that blockage...

IP: Logged

Lioness
Knowflake

Posts: 2091
From:
Registered: Mar 2010

posted April 25, 2011 05:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I spent 12 years like that.. Even though I got married I never FULLY gave myself to the marriage.

What a huge mistake I made here... Which is why I am going through now what I am going through... It's making me feel, its making me see how to feel and what I have missed all these years...

I think that term
What a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive...

Describes it well...
Only your only deceiving yourself.
Its a lose lose situation.

IP: Logged

MertSerimer
Knowflake

Posts: 119
From: where the fun is
Registered: Mar 2011

posted April 25, 2011 05:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MertSerimer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
I spent 12 years like that.. Even though I got married I never FULLY gave myself to the marriage.

What a huge mistake I made here... Which is why I am going through now what I am going through... It's making me feel, its making me see how to feel and what I have missed all these years...

I think that term
What a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive...

Describes it well...
Only your only deceiving yourself.
Its a lose lose situation.


thx for guidance. Your experiences must be a illustration what i must not do but i may have the power to transform me again something better.. Maybe i will never be satisfied but i will do my best...

By the way, if you remember what i said," i am here to love, not to be loved," i found it untrue.. i am being loved so much, (i am not able to realize the sacrifices done for me until now..) but i just can't feel it!!!! because my chiron and SN is in cancer and chiron in5th house, this placement does not tell that you are not loved, it does tell that you are unable to feel that you are being loved or you will never satisfy no matter what your acquintance does for you... i am my worst enemy, first i have to beat myself, then let it go all my fears, unsatisfactions and give rebirth to myself and finally i will be able to find peace...

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2011

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a