posted May 17, 2011 01:13 PM            

So last Halloween 2011, my friend Lauren invited me to a halloween dance party with this college Christian youth group that she is in and I am now in. The main place where most of everyone hangs out is where five guys live and that's where the party was at.
So after we have all been dancing for awhile, a few of us go stand outside on their front porch to cool off because it is all pretty cramped in their living room. So we are all standing in a circle, and I'm thinking, I've seen this guy looks really familier, but I have not met him before (this is the scorpio). Then I realize that he looks like Woody Harrelson except without a big nose lol. So i'm like "OHhh," outloud and I'm standing next to him in the circle, so he's like, "What?" and I said, "oh nothing." Cuz I wasn't about to tell him that he looks like Woody Harrelson. But he's like, "no, what?" So I tell him. Then he's like, "oh that's cool."
A few minutes later, I head back inside with Lauren to go dance some more. And he ends up coming over and dancing by me, for about a couple of songs, but I don't talk to him, because apparently when some guy decides to dance next to me, I can't talk.

RUF has worship services every Thursday night. Then they have afters at Starbucks or this local ice cream shop. That thursday night, it was Starbucks and I could only make it to the afters because I was working during the worship service. So I get to afters and Ryan, the scorpio guy comes in a few minutes after I'm done and he goes and sits with the guys that he lives with. So my friend Lauren has a crush on this guy that lives with Ryan so she went over there to talk to him, and after some people left that I had been talking to, I head over to where she is, and this one guy, Steve, talks to me for a few minutes and then he has to go. So Ryan gets up, cuz he's sitting at the table in front of Steve and I, and he starts talking to me. And like, we talk for about 2-3 hours straight. It was so weird but amazing.

Now it's like hardly any contact at all. We had a very short convo on his facebook wall...right before Christmas break...

But a few weeks ago, Lauren and I went to hang out with Mike, the guy she likes, and I left a letter for Ryan, explaining that he confused me and that we had talked for so long yet he never really got back to me ever. And that I wasn't trying to hit on him and that I was sure he was just really busy with school because he I'm pretty sure he is really studious, he wrote back to me a few days later saying:

Hi Anna, I'm sorry that I have been hard to talk to for the past few months. School has been stressful, and it's been hard for me to deal with some things socially for a little while. I understand your frustration and am sorry for any confusion I've caused. I hope you're doing well and that you enjoy your upcoming work with Americorps this fall. I wish you all the best with it. I'm usually stressed for time, and I understand that it may feel awkward if we run into each other. I'll try as I can to say hi, but I'll understand if you're not interested in acknowledging. I hope we can remain friendly and that this message allows for a lighter mood about what may be on both our minds.
Sincerely,
Ryan

And then I wrote back saying:

Ryan~
I am sorry if my letter caused any embarrassment on your part. That was definitely not my intentions. I figured it was school that was keeping you way busy.
It was just confusing because we had talked for so long at Starbucks in Memorial and it was just...I don't know...weird that you never really got back to me fully or just really, talked to me at all. I understand where you are coming from, and was never mad, just frustrated.
Of course I will say hi to you if I see you anytime before I leave in October. I doubt it however, because you go to Mizzou, and well, yeah, I am on Mizzou campus with Lauren and some other friends that I hang out with...but I doubt we will see each other just the same since I work all the time, and you go to school all the time.
Well I've gotta run but talk to you later.
Thanks for the best wishes for Americorps. I am super excited about it.
-Anna

He never wrote back to me since then, but it has been finals week, and he doesn't seem very social (scorpio) and so...idk, what do ya'll think?

thanks for reading this, I know it is long...

posted May 17, 2011 01:43 PM            

My take on it is that you said "doubt I'll see you" as a way of making both you and him feel less pressured, like you weren't expecting or demanding anything, and like you weren't that bothered. Basically, acting not bothered to save face. I don't think you did it intentionally or manipulatively, it is a completely natural reaction.

I think he has taken that as you really don't want anything to do with him, he's blown it.

If you do want to re-open friendship discussions, my suggestion would be to send something like "Hi, are you ok? love Anna" and then if he doesn't respond, it really is done.

Just my opinion of course. And good luck for Americorps, whatever and whenever you're doing it!

Rachel

posted May 17, 2011 02:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by pivy88:

Hi Anna, I'm sorry that I have been hard to talk to for the past few months. School has been stressful, and it's been hard for me to deal with some things socially for a little while. I understand your frustration and am sorry for any confusion I've caused. I hope you're doing well and that you enjoy your upcoming work with Americorps this fall. I wish you all the best with it. I'm usually stressed for time, and I understand that it may feel awkward if we run into each other. I'll try as I can to say hi, but I'll understand if you're not interested in acknowledging. I hope we can remain friendly and that this message allows for a lighter mood about what may be on both our minds.
Sincerely,
Ryan

---

Hmmm, see I don't think that his message is that cut and dry. He's written that it he would understand if she's not interested in acknowledging - that is a probing question, to see if she is. Then he says 'about what may be on both our minds'. If he didn't think about her in that way, why would it be on his mind?

I guess its all down to interpretation.

I'm a Scorpio and I rarely say what I mean, particularly if I'm unsure of the other person's opinion of me and particularly on paper. I will invariably say something neutral to test the water.

Just my 2cts.

Rachel

posted May 19, 2011 04:15 AM            

(again just my opinion)

posted May 19, 2011 12:57 PM            

So what should I do? I mean, should I just tell him, or ask him straight out or is that too straight-forward?

Well, I am leaving in October, and um...it's not set in stone yet...but my friend Lauren and I...well we are considering, well she's going for my moral support, but we were kinda thinking of going over to his house, and play "Don't you (forget about me)" song outside of his house...like before I leave...

I know it will probably just end up crappy, but I figure, might as well because I"m leaving soon anyway.

posted May 19, 2011 01:03 PM            

So shouldn't it be more, he asks me out and/or tells me he is interested in me in that way first? Because it didn't seem to work out with the girl who liked him before...which apparently she doesn't like him anymore like that, according to Lauren. So...idk...

posted May 19, 2011 01:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by RMChex:
I will invariably say something neutral to test the water

---

posted May 19, 2011 01:57 PM            

What you're saying makes sense and I can see why you are feeling so confused about it all.

Personally I wouldn't take anyone with you to speak to him or play him a song or whatever; my natural suspicious streak comes out when the person I like is with a friend. I won't show my true colour until we are alone or at least out of earshot of anyone else. I also tend to worry that the person is playing some kind of joke on me, so that they can laugh about it later. Scorpios don't trust easily - and that includes believing compliments, etc. We're always looking for an alterior motive or for the rest of the story. Nothing ever seems simple to a Scorpio (even when it is!) To the world around me, it looks like I have the power and the upper hand - and that be true sometimes - but I don't feel like it is.

So, with that rambling over lol, I'd say the best thing to do is just send a message like "Hi, I was just thinking about you and hoping you are ok? Love Anna" The worst case is he ignores you; but at least you have your answer. Next worst is that he writes back "yes, why wouldn't I be?" - to which you can keep being nice and reply something like "That's great. Anna x" It will confuse him and interest him. Alternatively, he may take the opportunity and be nice back to you.

I'm going to press send now, because this is getting long. If I didn't help at all, let me know and I can think about it some more.

Rachel x