posted May 18, 2011 07:11 AM            

Now, the latter bit says to me that he doesn't handle rejection well and in fact if someone rejects him, he starts clinging on to them even more. That's more of a guess rather than fact though, because he doesn't seem to always act like that. But overall, I'm seeing a very strong pattern here.

I'm just not seeing it in the same strength in his natal chart. Not with all that mutable in there, I'd actually expect quite the opposite and that he would find it extremely easy to let go. So, what am I missing?

posted May 18, 2011 07:31 AM            

I did get over my last ex (and even father of my son) within a day of breaking up with him, and that relationship lasted 4 years.

posted May 18, 2011 07:58 AM            

i don't know what to look for in a chart for that, but i'm curious as well. my partner couldn't get over his ex, who he was with for only 1 year or something, for over 5 years. for ages i observed him trying to date different girls to forget her, and be disillusioned that he could not fall in love again, then get depressed and be insomniac and so on.

posted May 18, 2011 08:18 AM            

That's interesting, about your partner. Sounds exactly the same as this friend of mine. Maybe we could compare charts to see if anything similar falls out?

posted May 18, 2011 08:46 AM            

And both have mars in a water sign... and mercury retrograde (but I've met a lot of mercury retrograde people who don't have a hard time getting over people)

There seems to be a recurring aspect between neptune and moon in both charts, but in my friend's case it's a square while in your hubby's case it's a sextile...

Still not much the wiser, so I hope someone will relieve us out of our intellectual misery

posted May 18, 2011 08:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tamarella:
in both charts i noticed hard moon/neptune aspects...maybe they`re idealizing past?

---

In my friend's case, idealising is definitely a key word. He often refers to the time he spent with his exes as good times and often says, very randomly, "I should have married her" (about his first gf, when he was 18 or something and he cheated on her while he was under the influence, and afterwards admitted it to her)

And then there's me with the hard-hitting hammer of reality, and a response like "You would have divorced anyway, if she couldn't even forgive you for one misstep, she would have left you anyway, only a matter of time" or "an ex is an ex for a reason, don't forget that."

I'd say our squaring moons do show up nicely there in the above example

posted May 18, 2011 08:58 AM            

Virgo Moons usually like to stick to a routine, they don't like change.

posted May 18, 2011 09:11 AM            

Anyway, I suppose I'm also wondering what I could do about the dwelling in the past thing, since I strongly suspect my no-nonsense harsh and unemotional approach isn't working as well as I thought it would at first...

posted May 18, 2011 09:12 AM            

it's not often that i see my partner doing the "idealising", but i think it's all his Virgo doing the job to discipline this trait. so he doesn't show it.

but then, he does make it clear that it's not the "LOVE" of his life that he feels for me, like he's not flying over the stars with fluffy feelings and desires (like how he felt for his ex). and here i have to do his part to recognise that what he feels for me is definitely a valid feeling of love. i know he'd be quite lost without me, i know he would and did sacrifice a lot for me, and he feels great to be with me. i think the reason he has this idealised view on his ex was because it was a very volatile relationship. if i was a bit mean and would make OUR relationship "volatile", he'd be dead with a split heart for me, seriously!! LOL... he's much older than me but sometimes i feel like i'm dealing with a child!

posted May 18, 2011 09:22 AM            

@lechien: sounds JUST like this guy. Constantly he's telling me that he doesn't have butterflies for me (although his subconscious and unconscious actions do speak otherwise, but that aside... ) and I always respond with "you do know why that is, don't you?"

I honestly also don't think it's love that he feels for his ex (and the others before, for that matter) especially because he already mentioned before that he never loved her before she dumped him. Rather I think it's the idealization of what he thinks is love. Again though, I suppose we've all been guilty of that at some stage in our lives. It's just that when it seems to happen with every serious relationship that I think there's another reason why a person acts that way.

In his case, it strangely enough always seems to happen with women who let him move in with them and after the relationship is over, when he gets kicked out. So I suspect a link between those events and his behaviour. Lack of control over the situation, perhaps?

posted May 18, 2011 11:24 AM            

my guy says that it was never love.

when it was over, when he felt that it must have been love, he "realised" that if it WAS indeed love, it would have not ended.

at least that was what he said. what can i do than just roll my eyes for that?

posted May 18, 2011 12:58 PM            

And oh, how many times I've rolled my eyes in the past three months. You'd think a man his age (or even a man of the age of your man ) would be a little wiser when it comes to love, but they both seem just as easily fooled.

But trust me, next time he says that true love has to come with butterflies, I'm going to tell him that I get the same exact butterflies when I'm having a panic attack, and then ask him if that means a panic attack is really love in disguise?