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Author
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Topic: RE: Saturn in Synastry--intensity and fear
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polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 19, 2011 05:33 PM
  
Somebody touched on this in an earlier thread and it really resonated with me...His saturn opposes my venus AND sun and my saturn conjuncts his sun... I have known him for a few years now and had a brief something with him awhile back and I have never been able to get him out of my mind, I suspect it is the same for him as well. Circumstances seem to bring us together but when we do see each other the intensity is almost uncomfortable...like we are so afraid with each other. yet, there seems to be very deep feelings between us. I ran into him a few weeks back when I made a trip into the city. It was intense as usual. It seems as though we communicate non-verbally but we don't dare say how we really feel. yet, we seem to both know how we feel about each other...we just can't SAY it or ACT on it. Can something like ever be overcome? And how has Saturn aspecting personal plants in synastry affected you? Any insight on how the Saturn person feels in all this?? I know saturn rules time. Is it possible with some time something could come of this? Thanks!! IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 638
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 25, 2011 09:44 AM
omg... the torture. I am the Saturn person conjunct his sun and I breathe him. He is my living dream... my destiny... and dear Universe, I HOPE something comes out of this some day because if it doesn't, I don't know how anyone else will ever compare. <3IP: Logged |
Yrone
Knowflake Posts: 395
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted May 25, 2011 10:08 AM
I hear you.I am on a karmic synastry hell ride rollercoaster, but unfortunately I do not know how the Saturn person feels (at this point, I doubt Saturn has any feelings), or if anything ever comes around. IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 25, 2011 01:46 PM
Yes, Saturn always seems to put on a hardened exterior, like they do not seem to care. He does this alot but I find that I do it too....a neverending cycle...However, the feelings are there...Mystic melody, so you are the Saturn? How do you FEEL about him? Are you two together? Or does the interaction scare you and keep you on the sidelines afraid of the intensity? IP: Logged |
Cat Face
Knowflake Posts: 176
From:
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted May 25, 2011 01:55 PM
On the bright side Saturn brings longevity and seriousness to a relationship. IP: Logged |
roberto
Newflake Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted May 25, 2011 02:16 PM
i've known a (married) woman for quite awhile whose saturn in scorpio exactly conjuncts my sun/neptune conjunction. we're co-workers; it's some thick stuff to walk through five days a week (but also weirdly, heavily enjoyable). and yes, definitely, the air of "serious," being responsible with the energy. likely, in an alternate world, i'd be matured some, she'd be a little liberated. (or a lot.) IP: Logged |
lunatic
Knowflake Posts: 406
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 25, 2011 03:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by polysigh:
Somebody touched on this in an earlier thread and it really resonated with me...His saturn opposes my venus AND sun and my saturn conjuncts his sun... I have known him for a few years now and had a brief something with him awhile back and I have never been able to get him out of my mind, I suspect it is the same for him as well. Circumstances seem to bring us together but when we do see each other the intensity is almost uncomfortable...like we are so afraid with each other. yet, there seems to be very deep feelings between us. I ran into him a few weeks back when I made a trip into the city. It was intense as usual. It seems as though we communicate non-verbally but we don't dare say how we really feel. yet, we seem to both know how we feel about each other...we just can't SAY it or ACT on it. Can something like ever be overcome? And how has Saturn aspecting personal plants in synastry affected you? Any insight on how the Saturn person feels in all this?? I know saturn rules time. Is it possible with some time something could come of this? Thanks!!
My Saturn square her Mars, Conjunct her Pluto, trine her ASC, her Saturn Square my Sun, my Pluto,Sextile my Venus.. and these are only the most loud aspects of Saturn in our Synastry.. first time I experience something like that. I have a plutonian nature and I can get obsessed easily but here is a different thing, I feel a cold must.. I must be with her I don't have a choice to let go. It's not the warm obsession of Pluto for me. I got sick when I tried to let go. I cannot have her now but I feel like I will always wait. IP: Logged |
samsaoule
Knowflake Posts: 158
From: world
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 25, 2011 03:51 PM
I can relate to what you write. I met someone at my workplace whose planets are opposite to mine (both Mercury in particular), we have Saturn square Mars in the composite chart. We cannot find a way to talk to each other or if we do, it is very deep, intense and intimate (Pluto-Mercury in VIII). But the intensity of these talks intimidates us. I feel paralyzed and he is very secretive by nature. So, we haven't found a way to talk freely and break the ice. However, our feeling is amazing (I can see he feels something deep as well).I feel I am missing my chance to find a true love/friend partner because of personal limitations. I must add that we have many karmic interaspects implyind double whammy Vertex-AC, South node-Black moon-planets conjunctions on both sides, pluto and Neptune interaspects, etc. I don't understand the point of meeting someone with such planet interaspects with me if we do not get into a true relationship. IP: Logged |
Yrone
Knowflake Posts: 395
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted May 25, 2011 04:09 PM
Ok well, my Saturn is sextile his Venus, semisqu. his Jupiter, square his Saturn/Neptune conjunction.His Saturn is trine my Sun, trine my Mars, square my Venus, semi sextile my Moon, opposing my Jupiter, opposing my Chiron, conj. my Vertex and haha conj. my Asteroid Karma. Yeah, the jokes on me here especially when you consider that my Saturn, Venus and Jupiter/Chiron form a cardinal t-square which his Saturn turns into a cardinal cross. A cold must, seriousness, no surrender, I dunno. I am taking an inner time out at the moment because I was feeling like whatever I do, it's just never good enough or never the right thing. Just always another test. And what I really want (a relaxed friendly relationship) isn't obtainable because there's no opening, no breach in the stone fascade. IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 25, 2011 08:23 PM
Lunatic, I relate so much to what you write. I am very plutonian as well (venus and Sun conjunct pluto, scorpio rising)and this is a different feeling than plutonian obsession, it is just absolute fear but i cannot let go and feel that it somehow has to play itself out but that it could possibly take forever. Since we are both Saturn here, him more so than me, I feel like we project the saturn onto each other. Its like a stalemate.Sam, I feel the same way too. Deep and intense, afraid to talk to each other but a need to be physically close to each other, alot of non-verbal stuff going on as well. A lot of staring at each other but no words. IP: Logged |
lunatic
Knowflake Posts: 406
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 25, 2011 11:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by polysigh:
Lunatic, I relate so much to what you write. I am very plutonian as well (venus and Sun conjunct pluto, scorpio rising)and this is a different feeling than plutonian obsession, it is just absolute fear but i cannot let go and feel that it somehow has to play itself out but that it could possibly take forever. Since we are both Saturn here, him more so than me, I feel like we project the saturn onto each other. Its like a stalemate.Sam, I feel the same way too. Deep and intense, afraid to talk to each other but a need to be physically close to each other, alot of non-verbal stuff going on as well. A lot of staring at each other but no words.
Well, good luck to us 
I think I had to learn Saturn's power, cause I was more irresponsible before, I could let go more easily when my feelings were getting cold. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 25, 2011 11:55 PM
I have a longggg story to tell but I can't tell it.We have the following in synastry: My Sun (12' Aries) conj his Saturn (12' Aries)
My Saturn (9' Sag) trine his Sun (9' Leo)
My Saturn ^ square his Venus (12' Virgo) In composite: Sun - 10' Gemini - trine Pluto 12' Libra - trine Saturn 10' Aquarius. And it gets even stranger... In our first meeting chart (I have this down to the hour - in feb 2008 - so that's 3.5 yrs that I've known him) Sun at 5' in Pisces..
opposite
Saturn at 5' in Virgo.. I mean - what were the odds? LOL (edit: And for the asteroid buffs... it's interesting that my natal karma is at 4' Pisces... and his natal karma is at 4' Virgo, so this was conjunct the Sun-Saturn opp) I've never had this much Saturn with anyone. I can't write much about this, because it feels like *our* story and it's too personal to tell. But I'll say that... We care about each other a LOT. We are both in love.
It is definitely mutual. I feel very lucky to have met him. I know he feels the same way. I know that he will always be there for me (and vice versa) I always stop breathing for a few seconds when we make eye contact because you could cut the attraction with a knife - though - that could be our Pluto aspects. But despite the attraction (and it is not easy to put it aside) we are actually friends as well. I know that we will most probably never be together officially (because it is too difficult for him), and maybe not even un-officially... as I've decided against it. But I love that I'm in love with him.. and that he's *there*- you know? so yeah...
This is so corny - but I've been starring at his picture on my desktop as I'm typing LOL
He's so lovable  IP: Logged |
samsaoule
Knowflake Posts: 158
From: world
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 26, 2011 04:35 AM
Polysigh and Betty Boop:We feel the same way. Why would such a meeting happen if we cannot have an official/true relationship with them? what's the point of such intense interaspects if nothing happens between us? My Capricorn Mercury cannot understand! :-) IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Knowflake Posts: 7035
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 26, 2011 05:22 AM
I can relate to everything written here.Saturn is very difficult to deal with, I find. IP: Logged |
Sunia
Knowflake Posts: 100
From: Sunnyland
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted May 26, 2011 06:18 AM
Hehe I can relate to what you all say...My bf's Sun and Saturn (Leo) conjucts my Sun (Leo) But because I have a stellium in Leo, his Saturn is aspecting a couple of my planets. The intensity is amazing, for good or bad lol. ------------------
Sun Leo in 9th house;
ASC Scorpio;
Moon Taurus in 5th house;
Uranus Sagittarius in 1st house IP: Logged |
Yrone
Knowflake Posts: 395
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted May 26, 2011 06:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I have a longggg story to tell but I can't tell it.We have the following in synastry: My Sun (12' Aries) conj his Saturn (12' Aries)
My Saturn (9' Sag) trine his Sun (9' Leo)
My Saturn ^ square his Venus (12' Virgo) In composite: Sun - 10' Gemini - trine Pluto 12' Libra - trine Saturn 10' Aquarius. And it gets even stranger... In our first meeting chart (I have this down to the hour - in feb 2008 - so that's 3.5 yrs that I've known him) Sun at 5' in Pisces..
opposite
Saturn at 5' in Virgo.. I mean - what were the odds? LOL (edit: And for the asteroid buffs... it's interesting that my natal karma is at 4' Pisces... and his natal karma is at 4' Virgo, so this was conjunct the Sun-Saturn opp) I've never had this much Saturn with anyone. I can't write much about this, because it feels like *our* story and it's too personal to tell. But I'll say that... We care about each other a LOT. We are both in love.
It is definitely mutual. I feel very lucky to have met him. I know he feels the same way. I know that he will always be there for me (and vice versa) I always stop breathing for a few seconds when we make eye contact because you could cut the attraction with a knife - though - that could be our Pluto aspects. But despite the attraction (and it is not easy to put it aside) we are actually friends as well. I know that we will most probably never be together officially (because it is too difficult for him), and maybe not even un-officially... as I've decided against it. But I love that I'm in love with him.. and that he's *there*- you know? so yeah...
This is so corny - but I've been starring at his picture on my desktop as I'm typing LOL
He's so lovable
I also do not really want to tell my story, dunno why /shrug I wanted to just "be there" as well, since I am really grateful for him existing, but apparently he doesn't care too much about whether I am or not. Out of curiosity, I did a first metting chart. Saturn is at 28°42 Virgo opposite Uranus (I am an Aqua Sun) at 28°50 Pisces semi-sextiling my natal Sun which had tNeptune conj at that time. There's a Yod made of Venus on apex, Pluto, Moon. A fixed T-square of Moon, Mars and Sun/Merc. The latter two are conj. his natal Moon The Asc of the meeting is conj his natal Sun. etc /shrug
IP: Logged |
Yrone
Knowflake Posts: 395
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted May 26, 2011 02:53 PM
On a related note, because I just read the comment of Doux in the other thread.Which of the two "feels" more the commitment. The personal planet or Saturn? IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 26, 2011 03:42 PM
Thats a good question. Also, why do these saturn type relationships take so long to get off the ground, sometimes for years? I am still trying to figure out why there is so much fear and anxiety present but also deep feelings. What does saturn feel inside when it is projecting the cool, indifferent face?IP: Logged |
lunatic
Knowflake Posts: 406
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 26, 2011 05:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by polysigh:
Thats a good question. Also, why do these saturn type relationships take so long to get off the ground, sometimes for years? I am still trying to figure out why there is so much fear and anxiety present but also deep feelings. What does saturn feel inside when it is projecting the cool, indifferent face?
Well Saturn is supposed to bring fear and anxiety, because it's so serious and hates to make mistakes. You have to be certain and mature and ready for this relationship or forget about it. When I was the Saturn person, it was so difficult, but I let go , the Sun person. We both couldn't believe that we won't be best friends anymore, but it was a heavy duty to me. I should end it. I was the most serious and demanding all the previous years. IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 26, 2011 06:21 PM
quote:
Which of the two "feels" more the commitment. The personal planet or Saturn?
Well - in my case - when we met... we simply *were* committed to each other. There was no choice in whether we want to see each other or not.
We had to see each other at regular intervals and discuss particular things - I met him through work. That is not our situation now although we're still kind of in the same "circle". I would say as things are now that we can both count on each other.
For instance I know that whenever I get in touch or email him - he gets back to me in less than 3 hours. He has never played any games in any way - with me.. which makes me feel cared for (might be my Cappy Moon lol)
I respect this about him - so much... Because if there is something I can't stand - it's immature behaviour.. and he is not "silly" or childish when it comes to relationships (as so many men are). --- Someone mentioned "testing". I think we've both tested each other.. Usually I get very annoyed with this sort of thing... and I have broken up with a man before - precisely because he was testing me.
But well -- I'm not sure what it is about him... because he is so subtle and diplomatic in the way that he tests me... that I can't actually take offence..
So I'm not upset about it.
(I think he'd crack up laughing if he saw this). It's strange really. It could be because we both have water Mercuries in Cancer and Pisces - trine... and also trine his Neptune.. and basically he is so kind verbally -- that .. he'd never hurt me. Because I know that he'd never hurt me... I don't feel threatened by anything he does.. even at those times when I feel as though he might be testing (his Sco. mars lol)
He's extremely stealth actually!  He is a perfect example of an iron fist in a velvet glove.
quote:
why do these saturn type relationships take so long to get off the ground, sometimes for years?
I don't mind this because I like relationships to build over time.. due to my Capricorn influence.
This is what makes Saturn relationships stronger and enduring... they are not flakey. quote:
I am still trying to figure out why there is so much fear and anxiety present but also deep feelings.
I think there is fear and anxiety mainly on the part of Saturn for two reasons.. One is -- The situation you find yourselves in! I find that if this aspect is present -- it's always a twisted situation, so one person might be the other person's boss.. or co-worker or whatever else... and it might not be the "best" thing to have a relationship. Two is - The Sun makes Saturn insecure (I'm not sure about other planets and how that works..). In virtue of simply being YOU (if you are the Sun) -- The Saturn person puts you on somewhat of a pedestal in his/her mind.. even if you may not live up to expectations sometimes - and even if they criticize you etc.. The Saturn person believes in the Sun person.. and they are convinced that the Sun person will eventually live up to their potential and be fantastic in every way.
This is not like the idealism of Neptune.. because this is real.
You could say Saturn looks at Sun - and sees not just what they *are*.. but also what they realistically *can* be.
So because they put you on a pedestal, they feel unworthy.
I am not sure why this happens - because actually the Sun has so much respect for the Saturn person.. so from the Sun's perspective this insecurity is unfounded.
But for Saturn it is very real. Saturn asks themselves :" Why would Sun like ME of all people?" IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 26, 2011 06:36 PM
Also - because of the insecurity Saturn does not like to be the one initiating things.
This is not just in romantic relationships.
Basically - the pattern is... If the planet person does not contact Saturn at all for a while - either because they think this is normal in the course of their daily life... or because Saturn has acted so cold - that the planet person thinks - "well maybe they want nothing to do with me".... then Saturn will probably bring this up at some point, in the future... sarcastically hinting that you have not called or seen them in X time. (as though blaming you and trying to guilt trip).
Never mind the fact that: Neither did they!!!
lol
But due to their insecurity - if you don't call them... they imagine you "living it up" somewhere and happy without them. Saturn gets depressed SO flipping easily. This is not just in my relationship with him ^ -- but I've noticed it with other people.. whenever we had Saturn conjunctions! PS. This may remind you of a parental attitude... like a parent saying to their adult son/daughter - "why don't you call me more often?" - and it is seen as the "duty" of the son/daughter to contact the parent... rather than the other way around.
We often have Saturn in synastry *with* our parents - which can't be a coincidence lol IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 26, 2011 06:59 PM
Interesting, Betty Boop. Does anyone know how this would play out with a Sun saturn double whammy (i.e. Sun conjunct Saturn and Sun opposite saturn) with both people being saturn?? Is it different with the opposition? From what you described I am the saturn in the conjunction and i often feel like he is "living it up" and just doesnt want to have anything to do with me. I am the Sun in the opposition. Do you think he feels the same about me just not caring about him?IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 26, 2011 08:11 PM
Poly - Which one is closer in orb?We also have double whammies...but I feel he is more like Saturn - Maybe it's because the conjunction is more obvious than the trine.
But an opposition should normally be felt as strongly as a conjunction -- unless it is wider. IP: Logged |
polysigh
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Chicago, USA
Registered: May 2011
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posted May 26, 2011 08:31 PM
Betty Boop, the opposition is a smaller orb less than 3 degree, the conjunction is wider at around 8 degree. Also, His Saturn is opposite my venus at a 3 degree orb. So, I too feel as though he is definitely more saturn in this situation. I do look up to him and he does act more parental towards me. So if the oppostion is a lot like the conjunction I guess I can assume that he looks at me with begrudging respect and that he very well may be hiding his true feelings underneath saturns' cold exterior? Again I just know he feels the way I do but is more restrained and fearful...fearful of being hurt by such a heavy relationship. I feel by nature he is used to more light, on the surface interactions and things with us could be very serious. By the way, thank you all so much for the replies. I am a newbie here so this has been very educational!IP: Logged |
Yrone
Knowflake Posts: 395
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted May 27, 2011 01:25 AM
Thanks for your insights all.Yes I think the fear and anxiety comes from not wanting to do anything wrong because the relationship seems so important. The problem then is, I am so anxious I don't do anything at all. I feel a bit like the rabbit in front of the snake. And I am the one who has Sun, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Chiron under fire (wee thank heavens my Mercury is too far out by 2° to receive some square loving) whilst only providing a sextile and semisquare from my site in addition to the shared square. But I certainly did do some growing up ever since hah. Still not enough it seems. Betty, I can relate to the pedestal in the way that, yes I have been trying very hard to live up to "expectations", to be the best, whilst at the same time staying true and still I often feel like it's not good enough.
It was me talking about the testing. I've been tested, I am tested. Really, I wouldn't mind if there was some feedback at least on how I did :P I am in retreat now. Not defeated, but I need to regroup and plan. Also, I am Cap Venus opposed by Saturn (I did say that his Saturn is turning my natal cardinal t-square into a grand cross right?) and I don't mind if things develop slowly, but urgh, at least develop. One step forward, one step side, one step back, go straight to prison, don't collect the money. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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