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Author Topic:   Does this relationship still have potential, or is the best already over?
featherlightly
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From:
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 08, 2011 04:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I recently moved (at least short term) across the country to be with my long distance boyfriend.

He is wonderful to me. The most loving, loyal, supportive partner I've ever had. Treats me like royalty, and our values are so compatible. Yet I feel numb. Like I can't fully love him back. Perhaps we moved in together too soon and it killed the spark... or maybe I'm just closing off because I have a lot of stress in my life right now. I can't tell.

He senses me being distant and sad these days, and it's really starting to put a wedge between us. I'm just not sure of my feelings.

I can't tell if this is all my fault right now, or if we aren't as great a match as I think we are. Would love some input.


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aethan
Knowflake

Posts: 83
From: Lisbon, PT
Registered: Sep 2010

posted June 08, 2011 09:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aethan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Let me just say this is the first time I try to help in here, excuse me if I'm way off, I mean well.

But I don't even have to look at the chart to tell you you're probably no longer in love with him. You love him but you're not in love with him. It happens... But it's not something you can't fix.

I looked at where your Pluto is (1st house)... and I guess you probably need a bit of friction to feel alive, maybe he's just "too perfect"? Maybe when you didn't live so close together you missed him and it kind of created that little "hardship" you need to stay in love?

I didn't have a good look at the synastry per se, because I think this probably has more to do with your personal needs in a relationship.

But I noticed your moon in his 12th House, maybe you're not feeling emotionally complete or understood, despite his caring nature. It can be a very soothing link, but it can also make you hide feelings from one another.

If that is a problem you should feel positive about communicating your inner thoughts and emotions because he likes the way you communicate, so you'll probably do it in a way he'll understand or at least respect. It might even be part of a healing process for both of you.

This is a pretty nice looking synastry chart actually. So I think it really must be something you need to resolve within yourself, maybe your needs aren't being met. Some people just need friction and action and a little fighting so they can keep the passion going.

Sorry if I'm waaaaay off :P I did try.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 11729
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted June 08, 2011 09:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I will look later.I can feel your angst .I need a break from the charts for a bit.

------------------
Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality
Jung
You must lose your life for My sake in order to find it .
Jesus

He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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featherlightly
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From:
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 08, 2011 05:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aethan,

You really nailed some stuff with what you've written. You're not "way off" at all!

quote:
I looked at where your Pluto is (1st house)... and I guess you probably need a bit of friction to feel alive, maybe he's just "too perfect"? Maybe when you didn't live so close together you missed him and it kind of created that little "hardship" you need to stay in love?

Yes yes yes yes, a thousand times yes. You nailed it with "friction." I need intensity, a challenge, something that makes me feel deeply (whether pleasure or pain). Not necessarily a healthy trait, but it's how I am. Pluto is also square my moon and opposition my sun, adding to the need for friction. My boyfriend is such a wonderful person, but he is very simple, very surface-level, and I feel there isn't much emotional passion between us (even though we get along spectacularly in most ways).

quote:
But I noticed your moon in his 12th House, maybe you're not feeling emotionally complete or understood, despite his caring nature. It can be a very soothing link, but it can also make you hide feelings from one another.

I think you're right about this as well. My moon also doesn't make any major aspects to his personal planets. We understand each other in terms of interests and values, but my emotions are a lot more jagged and forceful than his, and I think it scares him, haha. Last night, I was feeling depressed and unsettled after learning my ex-fiance (of three years ago) is getting married to someone he only met last week. My relationship with him was very psychologically abusive, and it took years for me to recover my self esteem and feel functional again... and hearing from him about the wedding rekindled a lot of bad memories for me, things I'd been repressing instead of dealing with. I tried explaining to my boyfriend why I was feeling upset, and he couldn't understand why I couldn't just "stop thinking about it" and "get over it." He kept saying, "Well, it doesn't matter because I won't treat you like he did." I tried explaining that I wasn't trying to compare him to my ex; I just had some wounds from the past that were feeling sore again. He wanted me to just stop thinking about it.

quote:
This is a pretty nice looking synastry chart actually. So I think it really must be something you need to resolve within yourself, maybe your needs aren't being met. Some people just need friction and action and a little fighting so they can keep the passion going.

Yeah, I really like the Venus conjunct Venus/Jupiter and his sun in my 5th... lots of good feelings there. I wonder if what I'm feeling are some of the hard Saturn aspects (mine opposition his moon; his square my Mars and Mercury; plus Saturn square Saturn). It feels like some sort of blockage keeping me from completely letting go and being open.

Thanks for your reply! I REALLY appreciate it!

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featherlightly
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From:
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 08, 2011 05:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Ami Anne, I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

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featherlightly
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From:
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 12, 2011 05:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump! It's so strange -- sometimes I like him a lot, sometimes I find myself wondering what else is out there.

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sassaqua
Knowflake

Posts: 37
From: Australia
Registered: May 2011

posted June 13, 2011 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sassaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello,

not all that experienced in commenting on other's synastry so take with a grain of salt.

What I see straight up, and this is based on my own synastry analysis from my relationship experiences, is the lack of personal planet connectiion. Especially the lack of moon connection for you. Yes, you will surely like eachother but there's nothing deeply emotionally bonding, or intimate to connect to.

You mars right on his moon is prooly a bit much too, considering there aren't many other personal connections. As well as saturn opposite his moon too

Good as friends imo. Can we have an update?

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featherlightly
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From:
Registered: Oct 2010

posted June 14, 2011 09:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yep, I think I'm feeling the lack of moon connection.

In general, I adore him as a person. But I have had more powerful connections in the past, and long for that.

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