posted June 22, 2011 05:22 PM            

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Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:
Venus trine Pluto here,same thing with me. I say emotional possessiveness to Pluto,sexual to Mars.

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yes,
that could be true!

i can see this trough my ex-relationship where i got venus trine pluto and my ex-partner got mars trine pluto

when there was talking about cheating i talked about emotional cheating when my partner talked about sexual cheating

posted June 22, 2011 08:04 PM            

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Originally posted by Betty Boop:
CrazyAqua -

So a person can't control their feelings.. but.. Can their feelings control them? lol

Because I desire the kind of feeling that controls both of us.

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posted June 22, 2011 09:13 PM            

Well, you can allow your partner to have a 'mechanical' (sex) experience instead of a real emotional one with meaning.

but then I think;

IS is mechanical? (sex)
Can we see it as being just mechanical? (sex)

And.. if he has sex with someone else doesn't that mean there's something wrong between the two of you? In my eyes you'll get a lot of doubt then about 'where are we going both.. etc. ?, what's true about US etc.?

posted June 22, 2011 09:50 PM            

CrazyAqua -

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What are you getting at with Can their feelings control them?

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In my first post I was talking about “US” as a couple, at the point when we are in love and expressing it openly.
Once I have that mutual connection with someone, it’s more like the feeling is controlling both of us.. (so we don’t ‘stray’ emotionally, for that reason).

Mir -

quote:

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Can we see it as being just mechanical?

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imo Yes. It truly can be just mechanical.
I also think that a majority of sexual experiences happening in the world as we speak are mechanical ones, not meaningful ones.

quote:

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if he has sex with someone else doesn't that mean there's something wrong between the two of you?

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posted June 22, 2011 10:01 PM            

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For everyone who is OK with their partners having this emotionless mechanical sex.....how do you even know it is or won't create them?

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It CAN create them. This can happen. You're right.
If it did happen, that would hurt me.

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Sex is notorious for creating emotions for the others. That's a dangerous line to walk.

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I don’t feel as though it is dangerous.. because I think it so rarely happens that you truly connect with someone on a deep level.
Also, I am thinking about my male friends and judging by the stories I've heard involving girls they have slept with -- there were only maybe one or two instances when they felt *strongly* about her (or felt 'in love').
I mean it really is RARE.

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The other thing that is emotional hurtful is that they WANT to be with someone else sexually.

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I genuinely don’t find this emotionally hurtful. I don’t know why, but I simply don’t. I'm probably strange lol

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And many times physical attraction is what leads to deeper emotions.

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I disagree with this, because you said "many" times.

People can be attracted to dozens of individuals out there.. and not have any emotions involved. I’ve seen this happen so many times.

posted June 22, 2011 10:37 PM            

quote:

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In my first post I was talking about “US” as a couple, at the point when we are in love and expressing it openly.
Once I have that mutual connection with someone, it’s more like the feeling is controlling both of us.. (so we don’t ‘stray’ emotionally, for that reason).

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posted June 22, 2011 10:39 PM            

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I don’t feel as though it is dangerous.. because I think it so rarely happens that you truly connect with someone on a deep level.
Also, I am thinking about my male friends and judging by the stories I've heard involving girls they have slept with -- there were only maybe one or two instances when they felt *strongly* about her (or felt 'in love').
I mean it really is RARE.

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posted June 22, 2011 10:43 PM            

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I disagree with this, because you said "many" times.

People can be attracted to dozens of individuals out there.. and not have any emotions involved. I’ve seen this happen so many times.

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posted June 23, 2011 08:45 AM            

There are periods in life where we may be unable to settle with anyone for more than a few weeks at a time but this doesn't mean that the person needs/has to have more than one on the go.

It might be worth bearing in mind that casual sex is a 5th house matter and the other is an 8th. Both are fixed houses though which would suggest that whatever the basic nature it's unlikely to change.

The main reason fidelty is pushed is because it minimises any chance of nasty emotions being brought out into the open which is a sensible thing to do. I think what's most important is that you both agree on the rules of the game.

posted June 23, 2011 08:49 AM            

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Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
I think that most humans are naturally monogamous..the problem is people stay in outdated relationships and then cheat or have an open relationship.

There are periods in life where we may be unable to settle with anyone for more than a few weeks at a time but this doesn't mean that the person needs/has to have more than one on the go.

It might be worth bearing in mind that casual sex is a 5th house matter and the other is an 8th. Both are fixed houses though which would suggest that whatever the basic nature it's unlikely to change.

The main reason fidelty is pushed is because it minimises any chance of nasty emotions being brought out into the open which is a sensible thing to do. I think what's most important is that you both agree on the rules of the game.

Because it connects to the 5th and 8th we can also look to the 2nd for our values and the 11th for our ideals...this should give a more complete picture of our own personal attitude towards sex and intimacy.

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Great post Quinn!

posted June 23, 2011 08:51 AM            

Also,sex would not have to even have to be the transformative sex of the 8th house

posted June 23, 2011 09:40 AM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
If you meet a guy with a heavy 5th house,could you say that he would want sex and romance as fun and not commitment--generally speaking?

Also,sex would not have to even have to be the transformative sex of the 8th house

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Not necessarily (to the 1st question) the person could have planets in signs that indicate fidelity or an emphasis on stability in the 2nd or something like saturn in the 8th. All of this would modify the behaviour. What it would mean is that the person needed a lot of fun or romance to get more enjoyment out of sex and would probably see this as necessary as food or water. Some of the energy may also be expressed creatively. The person could also have a strong 7th house or the 5th house stellium could be a venus/mars/pluto conjunction or saturn may aspect it...there's too many possibilities to list.

posted June 27, 2011 01:23 PM            

I cannot believe there are people that don't care if their loved one sleeps with another person. Boggles my mind.

posted June 27, 2011 01:35 PM            

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Originally posted by NeptuneIllusion:
Isn't sex the ultimate expression of love??

I cannot believe there are people that don't care if their loved one sleeps with another person. Boggles my mind.

To me, sex is a way to express love to another. It's intimate, sacred and special. Sex is intertwined with the emotions and is equal in importance. Sex expressed without love is well.... pointless. To each their own, though. o.O Still weird.

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I know. I am with you on this one!

posted June 27, 2011 10:45 PM            

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Isn't sex the ultimate expression of love??

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It can be an expression of love! It can definitely be this from my perspective, when I am in love.

I only have a desire to have sex once I feel a strong emotional connection. Otherwise my sex drive is just about dead.

But at the same time, if I was not in love.. and lets say my friend who is male found out his gold fish died and he is crying about it - I would not put it past me to have pity sex, though I'd get nothing out of it (it would basically be an act). But in this case, there would still be an emotional connection established.

A kiss can be an expression of love as well. But it depends on who you are kissing and why.

Anyway, that's just me! ^
Not everyone feels the same way.

For most people in Western society.. and in particular for Western men, sex would very rarely be seen as 'the ultimate expression of love' and much more commonly as 'stress relief' or 'fun'. Because I am aware of this, I don't give it importance.

As I said above:

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How can I feel jealous over something he forgot as soon as it happened? Or something he remembered as a sexual 'experience' - when he doesn't even know her name, and has no clue what colour eyes she had (because he never looked into them)?

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I cannot believe there are people that don't care if their loved one sleeps with another person

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It can be intimate and special between US... but lets say if he has a one night stand with a woman he doesn't even know - in my mind, this is not even *slightly* different to masturbation.
Because in that case they are having sex purely for sexual satisfaction.
I could even watch a video of this and I would still not feel emotionally distressed.

I have a feeling people will get critical of this ^ - but to be honest so many couple have threesomes etc.. I really don't think it's so weird of me.

I simply don't have issues with sex for it's own sake -- not spiritual, nor religious issues. I am very aware that we are great apes biologically and I think sex is perfectly natural with multiple partners.

At the same time, as above, I don't personally have a *desire* to go *there*. My sex drive just isn't high enough.
So I would only go there when I feel like there is a *spark*, which is rare.

But morally speaking - I think it's OK for anyone who wants TO and does have a higher sex drive than mine.. to do whatever they like.

If I myself - was soooooo absolutely horn*y right now and I felt like going out and sleeping with 100 men.. Nothing would hold me back morally speaking.

posted June 27, 2011 10:54 PM            

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Sex expressed without love is well.... pointless

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That's exactly why I don't feel jealous.

Because it's just a physical thing..

You called it "pointless". I wouldn't go that far. Many people out there would say it has a *point*.. stress-relief, physical feel-good etc.. Orgasms feel good and are healthy on many levels.. so the point of sex without love is much like the point of masturbation - which a great majority of people (and other animals) do.

But I could say that it is 'pointless' on a spiritual level.. I mean one doesn't get anything emotional out of 'mechanical sex'.