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Author
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Topic: Virgos Emotional Blackmailers?
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hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 3389
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Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 10:10 AM
  
Every Virgo I have ever been close to, including, my mother, my mother-in-law, my boyfriend and my sis-in-law not so much, are terrible emotional blackmailers.I just dont get this aspect of them. Maybe it is because I am Pisces and they project their own personal insecurities onto me? I despise emotional blackmail, I run from it, and when they get needy and feel their needs are not met they manipulate me sublty with emotional blackmail. My mother, just last week said "come by and visit me sometime, I am lonely..." I wont even go into the issues w bfriend as of late. Any insights? thanks t~~~
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lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1980
From: in a giant room with 2 little furry friends
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 10:19 AM
my Virgo Stellium partner isn't like that. he's suffering from his mother's behaviours though... he's 47 and he has to call her everyday. he does, just to avoid the unpleasant consequences. he hates her to the core.  IP: Logged |
mir
Knowflake Posts: 1296
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 10:40 AM
Euhm.. well maybe I don't get it (with my asc/merc Virgo  ) but can we call the fact that your mom is asking you to come by because she's lonely 'emotional blackmail'?
Assuming she IS lonely? I'm a bit like  IP: Logged |
hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 3389
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 10:46 AM
I just figure if someone is "lonely" they should not lean on others and fill their voids with themselves.I would never, ever ask anybody to keep me company, I entertain myself very well, but I suppose I should not hold others to my standards. IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 1980
From: in a giant room with 2 little furry friends
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 10:53 AM
she's a blackmailer. she is BPD and abused him as a child. he has all the reasons to resent her. he should probably even abandon her for his own sake. it's sad, but he decided that to keep "peace", he pretends to care.  IP: Logged |
dysfunctionalmystic
Knowflake Posts: 1001
From: England
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 24, 2011 01:02 PM
You'd need to post a chart or two...but I agree that it doesn't sound like your mom is being emotionally blackmailing with what she said.Sounds like she's honest about her feelings if anything. With a virgo it's always possible they're got some scorpio or libra thrown in as well. But virgos in essence are not emotional blackmailers at all. In fact i'd go so far as to say that virgo is probably the least demanding of the energies on an emotional level. IP: Logged |
NickiG
Knowflake Posts: 5818
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted June 24, 2011 01:21 PM
my mom is an emotional blackmailer and shes an aqua sun square scorp moon....none of her kids want to live with her and she has to make us feel guilty to get us to do anything for her...it dont work on me though, i'm too stubborn so she complains about me the most cuz she cant get me to do stuff------------------
What happens on Venus stays on Venus -Nasa IP: Logged |
hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 3389
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 01:36 PM
Thank you all for your replies, but that was just one recent statement made by my mother, she is the epitome of poor me, and uses that to get attention.Just like my bfriend, woe is me, look how sad my life is, and putting out the energy that I should take care of they. My mother-in-law is different, but still throws out the emotional blackmail, even her own (late) son got tired of the manipulation and stayed home a Christmas or two. My sis-in-law has never thrown any manipulation my way, but she had my daughters. One thing in common? All Virgos. IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 2791
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 01:46 PM
quote:
My mother, just last week said "come by and visit me sometime, I am lonely..."
And you consider that blackmail because....? I've heard this line from lots of people before, but I've never took it to mean they putting any burden on others. Emotional blackmail is more like making someone feel *extremely* guilty for things you cannot help, and they usually pull the line "I've sacrificed everything for you...." like my father does. And I agree Virgo is the least emotionally demanding sign, I have the Moon and I can spend eons on my own without bugging people. My mother's a Virgo and is alot more understanding than others when I have to work over a holiday vs. spending time with her. Emorional blackmail is definitely more a trait of unevolved/afflicted water energy (see: my dad) so maybe you should look to the rest of the chart if you're finding a Virgo like this. IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 2400
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted June 24, 2011 09:34 PM
Uh I'm a virgo sun and mars and I couldn't be further from that.Maybe the virgos you know have alot of water planets? Cos virgos don't like mind games or emotional manipulation. You know sun energy is pretty weak right? You gotta look at their rising, moon, mercury and venus. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 7833
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 12:15 AM
no... i haven't found them to be. If you want someone who's all "poor me, why do all the bad things always happen to me, I'm in such a bad mood" look at capricornsIP: Logged |
blugrey
Knowflake Posts: 1006
From: Nowhere
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 12:37 AM
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SpooL
Knowflake Posts: 600
From: Toronto/Ottawa,Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 25, 2011 04:51 AM
I whould like to say yes and no.Heres my reasoning: Virgos, are selfish. So In a way you can say there emotional blackmails because they are only thinking about themselves and how bad there persumed situation is. But, I find water signs are to and just as brutal. With that said can't all signs be emotional blackmailers??? whouldn't they reason it diffrently according to there element. Besides Virgos are more of manipulators. Anyone watch Californication ???, Madeline Zima is the best person for the part of Mia. She is so good why she is a virgo. If anything I whould rephase your thread from "Virgos Emotional Blackmailers" to "Virgos Emotional Manipulators? " ----------------------------------------
Capircorn Rising
Gemini Sun, 5th House
Aries Moon
Mercury in Gemini
Venus In Taurus
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dysfunctionalmystic
Knowflake Posts: 1001
From: England
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 06:19 AM
I think I missed the part where you gave your reasoning spool. Virgo has it's primary intention in analysis. I agree with mint girl that "they" don't like mind games or emotional manipulation. Selfish is a word that can be applied to anyone on the planet irrespective of their birth chart and even then it's usually because they don't want to do something for someone else... IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 2400
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted June 25, 2011 10:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SpooL:
I whould like to say yes and no.Heres my reasoning: Virgos, are selfish. So In a way you can say there emotional blackmails because they are only thinking about themselves and how bad there persumed situation is. But, I find water signs are to and just as brutal. With that said can't all signs be emotional blackmailers??? whouldn't they reason it diffrently according to there element. Besides Virgos are more of manipulators. Anyone watch Californication ???, Madeline Zima is the best person for the part of Mia. She is so good why she is a virgo. If anything I whould rephase your thread from "Virgos Emotional Blackmailers" to "Virgos Emotional Manipulators? "
This is coming from somebody who has a merc in gemini? That's rich. Lol... Virgos are the last sign to be considered selfish. I've been told way too many times that I need to stop putting others first, that I need to think about myself for once. Seems like you got stung by a Virgo or sth? IP: Logged |
MsCandeh
Newflake Posts:
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Registered:
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posted June 25, 2011 10:48 AM
My experience would say not. If you are looking for these people, look at Gemini suns as well, especially the Gemini Sun mother in law
Actually a Taurus/Gemini Sun cusp person. May-born Geminis. Almost all the women I know who have been emotionally blackmailing in some form or another were born in late May. Maybe it has something to do with Algol lol....
All jokes... mostly  My dad is a Virgo but he doesn't emotionally blackmail me for his own needs. He makes me feel guilty if I look out for myself and put my family second (which I RARELY do, but if I do he makes me feel terrible for it).
BUT we are of Italian culture so family is important. He is also obsessed with how other people perceive him which also makes him like this. (This is how my grandparents from Italy brought up their kids and again I feel this is cultural).
I really hate that part of the culture because it's not supportive as much as people think Italian families are supportive.. or maybe it's just my own family I dont know, but the ones in Italy all seem like that too! They all get disappointed if you are sick and can't turn up to something, or you are too busy to help them with something, to the point you begin to go.. WTF is wrong with you lol. I believe that is a form of emotional blackmail. I absolutely hate it. But I also relate that to culture and not necessarily sun sign. But dad has never said to me 'I have done x for you and if you dont do y for me I will be upset'. The sort of situation I described above is my only experience with a Virgo emotionally blackmailing, but this is tainted with cultural expectations. He only has sun and saturn in Virgo. Someone saying they are lonely and please come and visit me, doesn't sound like emotional blackmail though. They haven't said 'if you don't come and visit me I will be lonely and it will be your fault'. That's emotional blackmail in my mind?!? Maybe other people perceive it differntly though *shrugs* IME My virgo friends and boss are all good at detaching themselves and letting you choose what is best for you. IP: Logged |
dysfunctionalmystic
Knowflake Posts: 1001
From: England
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 11:32 AM
I hadn't finished reading your post Msc before I was thinking about societal expectations being a capricorn or saturn theme and you said your dad has sun/sat conjunct...... IP: Logged |
DayandNight21
Knowflake Posts: 431
From:
Registered: May 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:00 PM
I have to disagree that a mutable earth sign is an emotional blackmailer. For emotions try fire signs or water signs. I know a multiple scorp who has nearly all progressed signs in sagittarius, most of them afflicted by jupiter. This means selfish, cheating, lying behaviour, in short emotional blackmail and abuse. Luckily that person is out of my life now and I have several lovely virgo influenced people around and some valuable lessons have been learnt. Not saying all under a sign are a certain way but in this individual you can attribute it to the stellium affliction. IP: Logged |
NickiG
Knowflake Posts: 5818
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DayandNight21:
I have to disagree that a mutable earth sign is an emotional blackmailer. For emotions try fire signs or water signs. I know a multiple scorp who has nearly all progressed signs in sagittarius, most of them afflicted by jupiter. This means selfish, cheating, lying behaviour, in short emotional blackmail and abuse. Luckily that person is out of my life now and I have several lovely virgo influenced people around and some valuable lessons have been learnt. Not saying all under a sign are a certain way but in this individual you can attribute it to the stellium affliction.
whoa hey, wait a minute, thats me right there, except the jupiter part, but i'm not that way...so maybe the jupiter aspected part has something to do with being emotional blackmailer? or maybe this scorpio person is just a grey lizard ------------------
What happens on Venus stays on Venus -Nasa IP: Logged |
DayandNight21
Knowflake Posts: 431
From:
Registered: May 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:05 PM
definate grey lizard
can give you a list of some of the things he has done!!!
sure it is down to the jupiter afflictions, he had no air and just couldn't see another point of view than his own!!!Forgiven but not forgotten. He causes others to have issues for his own gain!IP: Logged |
DayandNight21
Knowflake Posts: 431
From:
Registered: May 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:06 PM
definate grey lizard
can give you a list of some of the things he has done!!!
sure it is down to the jupiter afflictions, he had no air and just couldn't see another point of view than his own!!!Forgiven but not forgotten. He causes others to have issues for his own gain!IP: Logged |
MsCandeh
Newflake Posts:
From:
Registered:
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posted June 25, 2011 02:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by dysfunctionalmystic:
I hadn't finished reading your post Msc before I was thinking about societal expectations being a capricorn or saturn theme and you said your dad has sun/sat conjunct......
You know I haven't really ever studied my dad's chart on its own in detail as I don't have a birth time for him. But yes it is conjunct, 7 degree orb. He has had a very Saturnian influence in my life (also he is my father so of course he has) but in my life is the epitome of Saturn and possibly all my issues with Saturn (as I have Venus opposing Saturn natally, and he acts like the Saturn and I am the Venus in my life.). This is what I love about astrology, always learning new things or seeing new things that were always there to begin with. Maybe this feeling of obligation and him forcing that upon me/my brother (I seem to get it worse!) is from his heavy Saturn conj. Sun influence. I still don't agree that virgos are emotional blackmailers though, IME. IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1947
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:11 PM
Often times, I feel like when people bash certain signs, they're projecting their own issues. You might feel guilty about not visiting your mom enough, and when you find out that she is lonely and this confirms your guilt, you lash out by calling her an "emotional blackmailer." Just food for thought. IP: Logged |
NickiG
Knowflake Posts: 5818
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:15 PM
that might be true amowls..but i live with my emotional blackmailer...but our relationship is a hard one...i talked about her in an earlier post on this thread...she calls people up and makes them feel guilty for nothing just to get the person to come and do something for her...she takes the money i give her for our bills and uses it on something else so it pressures me even more to get more money....i think she treats me the worst, but that has got to do with our synastryi have leo moon, scorpio sun square...she has aqua sun, scorp moon square....her sun opposes my moon, her sun squares my sun, her moon conjuncts my sun and her moon squares my moon...basically a giant, evil t-square in our synastry edit: oh yea, and now that i have a job she has treated me even worse than before...she feels she needs to wake me up even though i have an alarm clock or remind me to wash my work clothes or hang them out....it gets so bad some days that i just want to scream in her face but i know that if i try that she'll kick me out...i know that for a fact: when my sister was having a bad day she yelled at my mom and my mom literally beat her butt and threw her out of the house...shes the only one in the house allowed to have a bad day and be angry with people apparently....i'v never been on my own and dont know what to do so i'm kinda scared to leave home....then again, she doesnt exactly help whenever she gives me a million examples of how bad life is and i need to "get used to it" ------------------
What happens on Venus stays on Venus -Nasa IP: Logged |
DayandNight21
Knowflake Posts: 431
From:
Registered: May 2010
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posted June 25, 2011 02:36 PM
Hi
I've written two posts since and they're PC but not coming up for some reason?!
Each situation is individual, and I only have a little virgo in me but what I have experienced from a scorpio sun, venus scorpio and mars scorpio is 'haughtiness' a feeling they are above even discussing an issue. This could be down to afflictions in a chart but leads to interpersonal problems that some air signs or air houses could solve. Maybe it is fixed signs wanting things their way that causes emotional blackmail?
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Lindaland
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